My new coworker is a dog, and I hate barking

January 9, 2020 6:14 AM

I work in a dog friendly, 50-person office. Though I'm not a dog person, this has worked out ok so far. The three dogs I've met have been geriatric under-the-desk-lazers; one even took a shine to me, which was sweet. Now there's a new dog in town!

I used to think I secretly hate dogs, but what I actually hate is the barking. I want to get less stressed about our new work dog and her barks. Can you help me?

Fida is my direct next-desk-coworker's pug, which means that for the last few months, she's spent three days a week next to my desk. Fida is not as well behaved as the dogs I've gotten used to. As I'm not a dog person, I have no idea how acceptable her behaviour is, but it's become low level annoying even when the other people in my room don't seem to mind.

Examples:
- Sometimes trying to root around in bags (this seems to have stopped)
- barking at specific coworkers ("looks like she doesn't like them", says my coworker.)
- running after me as soon as I get up to open our room door ("haha, it's because you always move so fast and energetically!"). Sometimes she's right behind the door when I enter. She's a pretty small dog (pug?). I've almost tripped over or stepped on that dog multiple times! It sucks because we need to hurry out of the room to take the calls every time our phones ring.
- sometimes farting. I mean, sometimes when you gotta, you gotta. But still. Meh.

Fida has a ...carrier? she lives in, in the corner. Sometimes zipped shut, sometimes she's free to roam. My coworker will step in and talk seriously to Fida to get her to stop, but often too late for my taste.

The worst thing is the random barking. Today, I had to crawl under the table to unplug my computer and she sat in her house and barked at me throughout from right next to my shoulder. Until I snapped, "sorry, Fida, but this is necessary." Then my coworker sat down with his dog and got her to stop. I wish he'd tell her to cut it out straight away. He probably can't even hear it, just like I've become inured to kid noises.

I really, really hate barking. To me, it's stressful, like having a man scream in my face to get off his territory. It doesn't help that I can't tell bark from bark - was that a warning bark? A "look at me" bark? An aggressive bark?

Like, if I found peace with the noise of barking (she doesn't do it alllll the time, maybe 2 or 3 x a day?) I could tolerate the sometimes farting and generally being underfoot. She's an okay dog. And as I live in a dog friendly city, not getting constantly pissed off at the sound would also be good for my mental health.

I also don't want to be the dog hating coworker in the room (I'm sure my reticence is noticable), so I'm hesitant to tell my coworker to rein Fida in. Again, nobody else seems to mind and I don't have a sense of what is normal.

I also don't want to invest in getting to know Fida better, not just because dogs, but also because coworker says that me giving her attention will encourage the behaviour and it's best to ignore her.

posted by Omnomnom to Grab Bag (25 answers total)

Barking 2 or 3 times a day in the office is not behavior that should be expected from a dog-friendly office, in my opinion. If a dog is allowed into an office setting, the dog should be trained well enough not to be a hassle to coworkers or to disrupt work.

I would tell the coworker that the dog needs to be redirected right away for the barking, and if it continues, then it's just too much of a distraction to have it in the office.
posted by xingcat at 6:24 AM on January 9, 2020 [35 favorites]

Is there a way for you to switch desks so you're not right next to Fida? Either by using Fida as a reason or coming up with another excuse, I think the problems would be mitigated if you were across the office or in another room.

Depending on your boss you could present this as your own problem with getting distracted: i.e., "I'm sure this wouldn't be a problem for others, but I find that I am getting easily distracted at my current desk, would it be possible to find a quieter location for me to work in?"

Or as a "Fida doesn't seem to like me and might be better suited to having someone she prefers sit near her."

Or as something totally not dog-related but a viable excuse.

Personally I'm not a dog person and the thought of a pet-friendly office chills me to the core -- I wouldn't even be cool with a cat-friendly office and I adore cats, because pets are hugely distracting for a variety of reasons.
posted by DoubleLune at 6:24 AM on January 9, 2020 [4 favorites]

A dog friendly workplace is still a workplace. You need to talk to their owner about the fact that this is disrupting your work, and if that doesn’t result in the changes you need you should talk to your boss.

Edit: it’s not you that needs to move, the problem is not you. A dog friendly office is not a doggie daycare.
posted by mhoye at 6:26 AM on January 9, 2020 [26 favorites]

It's not anti-dog to say that one particular dog is disrupting the workplace and needs more training. I suspect you're not the only one who minds, just the one most directly affected by being at the next desk (cf. me, when I sat next to the loud talker/long personal call maker of the office - everyone else also hated it but to a lesser order of magnitude).
posted by Flannery Culp at 6:27 AM on January 9, 2020 [11 favorites]

I have a dog and I also have that sensitivity to (his) barking, especially when I'm otherwise stressed out. So I don't think it's fair to hold yourself to a standard where you stop being bothered by it it; I'm not sure it's possible. I also suspect some of your other coworkers may be as bothered as you are.

I think this is a massively shitty thing for your coworker to do. Not all dogs are good office dogs; barky dogs definitely aren't. But I also understand your reticence to talk about it, people can get weirdly sensitive about such things. Is there a way to approach it diplomatically as "this is a me thing, but it's bugging me; is there anything I can do to mitigate it?" and see if they can find some better management approaches?

As far as the farting...pugs are known to be particularly gassy dogs; unfortunately, I'm not sure there's a lot to be done there (there are doggy probiotic products on the market, but I have no idea if they'd be likely to even have an impact).
posted by mosst at 6:27 AM on January 9, 2020 [6 favorites]

I have worked in very dog-friendly workplaces, and a dog that barked routinely (even "only" a few times a day) would result in their owner being told they can't bring them in anymore. "Dog friendly" does not mean "anything a dog does is OK". I would talk to your manager about this, you are not the problem here, the dog is.
posted by tocts at 6:28 AM on January 9, 2020 [43 favorites]

Huge dog lover and I wouldn't care to have a coworker dog that barked alot. Are there dog guidelines for the office? I would think disruptive behaviour is expected to be curbed.

I would love to have a dog friendly work place - but wouldn't even consider my own dogs well enough behaved to come to one! we would need some serious not everyone loves you like i love you training.
posted by domino at 6:31 AM on January 9, 2020 [10 favorites]

One of the offices at my company is dog friendly. Disruptive* dogs are not welcome, and owners are asked by HR to stop bringing the disruptive dog. Dogs have to be cordoned off at the owner's desk, or leashed closely to the owner when away from the desk. Owners who don't completely are asked by HR to stop bringing the dog if they can't comply with the rules.

*Disruptive = loud (crying or barking), persistently smelly, toileting indoors, other behavior defined as needed.

Go to your HR, or if you don't have HR go to your manager. I am a dog lover but dogs who can't hang (and dogs who probably could but just have shitty owners) do not belong at work.
posted by phunniemee at 6:31 AM on January 9, 2020 [8 favorites]

He probably can't even hear it, just like I've become inured to kid noises.

As someone without children who just spent the holidays around a lot of kids (some of whom i even love dearly) this is definitely it. We have a barky rescue dog on our floor in our apartment building, but i can tell that her owner is mortified by it and doing what she can, given the circumstances, to help the dog along. Your colleague does not seem to view this level of barking as problematic, when it clearly is for you, so the situation is different. It sounds like you havent even brought this up to your coworker, which seems weird. I think you need to be direct and say that the barking is disrupting your ability to work and that you need Fida's owner to step in more quickly/frequently when it is happening.

i cannot for the life of me believe the complaint isnt about the amount of non-barking noise pugs make, because frankly most of them sound like theyre snoring just standing there being awake.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 6:37 AM on January 9, 2020 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: would need some serious not everyone loves you like i love you training.

I think that's where coworker is at. He's unfortunately training her on the job. Plus apparently Fida is suffering some emotional setbacks from his being in the middle if a divorce (?). I think Fida has made progress and settled in. My sense is that her behaviour is slowly improving, but not sure the barking will.

I haven't talked with my coworker yet because I don't know if this is just me being extra sensitive. But my sense is I could ask him from now on to rein in the barking the minute it happens because it's completely stressing me out. He's an okay person (much like his dog).

i cannot for the life of me believe the complaint isnt about the amount of non-barking noise pugs make, because frankly most of them sound like theyre snoring just standing there being awake

Actually...I completely block out other noises. Plus snoring dog = sleepy dog = good news in my mind, so unstressful. I'm known in the office as "you could drop a bomb next to her, she wouldn't notice". Which, come to think of it, might be contributing to the problem.
posted by Omnomnom at 6:48 AM on January 9, 2020 [1 favorite]

I work in a dog friendly office with about your population. I have and like dogs. I brought my own dog in maybe twice (he did some whining for attention, but didn't bark. The whining is why I don't bring him in more regularly). I'm also afraid of barking dogs. Part of our dog friendly policy says that dogs are welcome, so long as they're not causing a disruption.

So far it's worked out that the only people who bring a dog daily, or semi-regularly have absolutely quiet dogs who will perhaps only bark while outside during playtime with their owners. Many are quiet even then.

There are a few dogs who've come through and are randomly barky. Their owners haven't brought them back in. One even left to drop the dog back at home after about an hour as they could not get the dog to quiet down. I'm unsure if any of this is from people actually being reasonable, or from HR talking to the owners. I was not talked to about my dog's whining.

The worst dog in our office is a very rare visitor. She is very barky upon greeting other dogs, but fortunately the owner only brings this dog maybe once every 4-6 months. Just the same, this barky dog will do 2-6 barks (while he'll immediately work to quiet her) perhaps 0-3 times in a day. The dog is a larger dog and the barks can be heard everywhere in the office. The owner is one of the company owners so I can guarantee the only way HR would bring this up to him is if there were multiple employees willing to goto them about it.

I find it awful that your co-worker is still bringing in their dog and acting as described. It's definitely outside the norm of what I consider acceptable dog-at-work friendliness.
posted by nobeagle at 7:24 AM on January 9, 2020 [5 favorites]

Every place I've worked that is dog-friendly also has a pet policy. Barking at people is usually grounds for exclusion, because it creates a potentially unsafe environment for workers and disrupts the flow of business. I think this is a talk-with-HR issue, not a talk-with-owner or try-to-learn-to-tolerate-dog issue. At the very least they should be moving the dog-owner's desk to where she will be less disruptive.
posted by Mchelly at 7:35 AM on January 9, 2020 [9 favorites]

I am a big fan of dogs. I don't think you're oversensitive; I think you've been quite patient. Meet with Fida's parent, and explain that Fida's barking is extremely stressful for you. One thing that helps most dog behavior issues is exercise; a long walk in the morning, and a walk at lunch should help, along with assistance from a trainer on managing barking. Also, Fida will poop on the walk and that will help with farting. A small fan on low will also help, and the white noise might help disguise barking triggers.

HR should keep dog trainers on retainer in dog-friendly offices.
posted by theora55 at 7:46 AM on January 9, 2020 [2 favorites]

Nope. I have a dog and love dogs. Some of my colleagues bring their dogs to work/meetings/class. I can't do that, unless I'll be alone in the office, because my dog *might* bark or pace around. The dogs that are tolerated are super quiet and invisible. One was trained "be still" so her collar won't even rattle. Farting dog in the office? nope.
There are many wonderful dogs who just can't fit into office culture.
posted by nantucket at 8:08 AM on January 9, 2020 [3 favorites]

You're not oversensitive, but... good luck. In my old office, which was one of the pioneers of dog-friendliness, there was a woman who'd bring a dog in who not only barked at people but sometimes lunged. It was awful, but she routinely ignored the hints and requests she got to not bring him back. To my knowledge the problem was never solved, as there were never serious disciplinary ramifications to her. So -- if your coworker is a decent person, maybe you'll get somewhere by just telling him "Bob, your dog is really barky, could you please stop bringing her in for a while until you're sure she's trained." But if he's like my old coworker, he'll ignore you until and unless HR tells him that the next time he brings the dog in they'll both be sent home.
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:35 AM on January 9, 2020 [1 favorite]

I've worked at an office that had no official dog policy and dogs would show up from time to time. My personal stance is, bringing in your dog is fine as long as it is well-behaved, not bothering anyone (i.e. allergies), and not getting in the way of, you know, work. Seems pretty straightforward and reasonable to me.

Based on your description, I don't think you're over-reacting and you should not be expected to put up with what you described. I would say something to your colleague and likely your supervisor or the person who creates the office policies, in a supportive and non-accusatory way.

Make sure to frame your communication in an objective way and focus on any metrics that matter in your office. Others may appear more accepting but given this is happening next to you all day, you are oblitgated to speak up on your own behalf.

My experience, or skip to the tl;dr at the end:
There was one very well-behaved dog who would quietly stay in his area near his pet parent. No whining, barking, scratching at closed doors. He didn't wonder around much on his own and get in the way. A+++

I've also experienced barking at various colleagues, and generally whining and scratching at closed doors, everyday throughout the day. This type of (dog or human) behavior is beyond the pale for me.

I've also encoutered large dogs with a preference for sleeping in the middle of a main walkway, and small dogs that prefer to sit right next to my wheelie chair or otherwise run around underfoot where I'm always nervous I might accidentally kick them (which I have no desire to do!). I have had pet parents keep their large dogs with terrible breath in a small enclosed room with me for long periods of time. Cue misery.

I like pets outside of work, but when I'm at work, I just want to be able to get my work done because it's hard enough as is with the (misbehaving) humans, no need to add misbehaving dogs to the mix . Well-behaved dogs are fine.

tl;dr:
Just because dogs are allowed at work does not imply any and all dog behavior is acceptable. There (should be) guidelines for what is acceptable. Same applies for humans and their behavior, right? Speak up so that community guidelines for appropriate dog behavior in the office become known and observed for everyone's benefit, including your own.
posted by anonymous donut at 9:14 AM on January 9, 2020 [1 favorite]

There’s no question that HR is the way to pursue this, but in case that doesn’t work out consider an Ultrasonic Bark Deterrent device.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 9:49 AM on January 9, 2020

Response by poster: This has been helpful! Thank you for calibrating my sense of dog office norms.

So my plan of action is:
- Tall to dog owner
- If that doesn't help, talk to our office manager, who is also a dog owner but is also the strictest enforcer of office rules on this planet and who Tolerates No Nonsense.

In the meantime, I actually would like to learn how to take dog barking less intensely personal, less like a personal attack. So any insights into the doggy brain that might help me reframe it when I get barked at (a common occurrence in my town) would still be helpful.

Thank you for all your help!
posted by Omnomnom at 10:25 AM on January 9, 2020 [1 favorite]

any insights into the doggy brain that might help me reframe it when I get barked at (a common occurrence in my town) would still be helpful.

Maybe this'll help...
posted by Too-Ticky at 10:54 AM on January 9, 2020 [3 favorites]

Yeah I'm the biggest dog lover, and pugs are my all-time favorite ... but this is definitely not okay.
posted by mccxxiii at 11:10 AM on January 9, 2020

Well-behaved dogs should be welcome in a dog-friendly office. Misbehaving dogs should be unwelcome in a dog-friendly office.
posted by dgeiser13 at 11:55 AM on January 9, 2020

I love dogs. I would love to be in a dog friendly office.

But a dog that regularly barks is not suitable for an office. A dog that regularly barks at particular people is especially unsuitable.

And a dog owner that allows their dog to run around and get underfoot should not be allowed to bring their dog in. They are not being a responsible pet owner in this situation.

I think you are much more accommodating of this bad behavior than you need be. This is not normal and you are not at all at fault for being bothered by this. I suspect others are also bothered but don't want to rock the boat. As mhoye says, the problem is not you.
posted by jclarkin at 1:33 PM on January 9, 2020 [3 favorites]

I have a dog friendly office. I also have a big, anxious hound who likes to use his voice. My big, loud dog doesn't get to come to the office. Tracker isn't a "bad" dog because he's not suited for office life. Not every dog is meant to be an office dog. Hopefully you can frame your conversation with the pug's owner in a way that's not too personal for either of you.
posted by fancypants at 4:01 PM on January 9, 2020

You can't work properly because of this dog
Your coworker is unable to control it
The dog is a liability hazard...if you did trip and hurt yourself your company could be liable.

Talk to HR or a supervisor.

As far as getting past a dislike of barking, that's probably an exposure thing. Hang out at dog parks or play with friends dogs, maybe.

One thing to remember is that there are different kinds of barks, and some will grate on you more than others. In general a happy and trained dog will not bark a lot.

I personally do not understand letting pets in offices. Many people are allergic! Others have phobias. Stressed animals can bite and scratch. They will have accidents and get underfoot. I love critters but not in offices.
posted by emjaybee at 8:21 PM on January 9, 2020

Talking to the coworker with the dog is not the best way to start here. It's very unlikely to create the outcome you want, and very likely to cause a rift between you and a coworker, who now identifies you as the face of the opposition trying to keep her dog out of an ostensibly-dog-friendly office. This absolutely needs to be escalated via HR or your coworker's supervisor, so that your coworker receives an unequivocal message of "this dog cannot be in this office," from someone that she works for.
posted by Mayor West at 6:02 AM on January 10, 2020 [5 favorites]