Project a non-starter - find out client's a rotter - extricating myself?
December 18, 2019 11:24 AM Subscribe
I applied for a short-term contract job a few weeks back. Interactions with the woman (Ms X) who posted the job have been lovely, but when I went in to meet the rest of the team I got some seriously bad vibes.
With a little sleuthing, I've discovered that the main people at this company are not my kind of people. How can I politely extricate myself without burning bridges with the cool and brilliant woman I spoke to first?
During my happy interactions with Ms X, I thought that I'd been given the project. The client even went so far as to send me a contract to sign, however less than an hour after the contract came through they rescinded it as they still had issues to iron out at their end, apparently.
An email promised a revised contract and said the work would start later that week. In the meantime I turned down another project as I considered myself booked.
The start date was pushed back twice, both times at short notice. Eventually we met earlier this week for what I thought was going to be a briefing for work that would start the next day.
At the beginning of the meeting, Higher Up #1 said that they'd rethought the project that morning, the brief was still up in the air and the new plan was to start after Christmas. Higher Up #2 mentioned a few things that gave me pause, in terms of their approach to the project. I did not feel that either of these people looked upon me with generosity of spirit, if you know what I mean.
At the end of the meeting, both Higher Ups said "Pleased to meet you" and "We'll let you know", rather than "Look forward to working with you", then ignored me when I walked past them as I was leaving the building.
I noticed a negative vibe around their office, though Ms X was very friendly and kind. When, after the meeting, I expressed some doubts about being offered the project she was very definite on them wanting me aboard.
I've heard nothing at all since the meeting a couple of days ago. The more I've thought about this, the more I've felt that this is a project set up to fail. I called a friend who I thought might have some connections in this particular organisation and she let me in on some information that makes me definitely not want to work with them.
At this point the Higher Ups may have decided simply not to contact me again, but I'd really like not to burn a bridge with Ms X as she's known widely as a lovely person, very engaged in our community, and I think we really connected. I think she's someone I'd like to work with her in the future, if she moves on from her current role.
I'd like to send this client an email bowing out of the project, for *white lie* reasons. Can you help me phrase this, bearing in mind that I've said I was available for a certain number of months next year? Also, should I send a message to Ms X separately to ask to stay in touch?
I'm probably overthinking this madly and also feeling a bit crazed about losing the prospect of this well-paid work. All help and advice gratefully received.
During my happy interactions with Ms X, I thought that I'd been given the project. The client even went so far as to send me a contract to sign, however less than an hour after the contract came through they rescinded it as they still had issues to iron out at their end, apparently.
An email promised a revised contract and said the work would start later that week. In the meantime I turned down another project as I considered myself booked.
The start date was pushed back twice, both times at short notice. Eventually we met earlier this week for what I thought was going to be a briefing for work that would start the next day.
At the beginning of the meeting, Higher Up #1 said that they'd rethought the project that morning, the brief was still up in the air and the new plan was to start after Christmas. Higher Up #2 mentioned a few things that gave me pause, in terms of their approach to the project. I did not feel that either of these people looked upon me with generosity of spirit, if you know what I mean.
At the end of the meeting, both Higher Ups said "Pleased to meet you" and "We'll let you know", rather than "Look forward to working with you", then ignored me when I walked past them as I was leaving the building.
I noticed a negative vibe around their office, though Ms X was very friendly and kind. When, after the meeting, I expressed some doubts about being offered the project she was very definite on them wanting me aboard.
I've heard nothing at all since the meeting a couple of days ago. The more I've thought about this, the more I've felt that this is a project set up to fail. I called a friend who I thought might have some connections in this particular organisation and she let me in on some information that makes me definitely not want to work with them.
At this point the Higher Ups may have decided simply not to contact me again, but I'd really like not to burn a bridge with Ms X as she's known widely as a lovely person, very engaged in our community, and I think we really connected. I think she's someone I'd like to work with her in the future, if she moves on from her current role.
I'd like to send this client an email bowing out of the project, for *white lie* reasons. Can you help me phrase this, bearing in mind that I've said I was available for a certain number of months next year? Also, should I send a message to Ms X separately to ask to stay in touch?
I'm probably overthinking this madly and also feeling a bit crazed about losing the prospect of this well-paid work. All help and advice gratefully received.
I would 100% say something to X to stay in touch - explain that you know this kind of thing happens occasionally, and that there's no hard feelings, and let me know if they are able to nail down the details, and in the meantime, you might take on other projects until this one solidifies.
Also, I would send a note to the work you turned down, maybe it is still available!
posted by bbqturtle at 11:32 AM on December 18, 2019 [8 favorites]
Also, I would send a note to the work you turned down, maybe it is still available!
posted by bbqturtle at 11:32 AM on December 18, 2019 [8 favorites]
Best answer: It is likely that Ms X is fully aware of the company's internal dysfunction, and will be sympathetic to you bowing out.
If she is your primary point of contact, just let her know that due to the delay in finalizing the contract [don't explain it any further than that], you will not be able to pursue the project any further with the company, but that you very much enjoyed getting to know her, and hope there is some opportunity to work together in the future, etc.
If she isn't, send the first half of this note to the point of contact, and all of it to her.
posted by adamrice at 11:39 AM on December 18, 2019 [13 favorites]
If she is your primary point of contact, just let her know that due to the delay in finalizing the contract [don't explain it any further than that], you will not be able to pursue the project any further with the company, but that you very much enjoyed getting to know her, and hope there is some opportunity to work together in the future, etc.
If she isn't, send the first half of this note to the point of contact, and all of it to her.
posted by adamrice at 11:39 AM on December 18, 2019 [13 favorites]
I wouldn't hesitate to call her up and say you think the project is interesting and that you'd love to work on it with her, but that HU1 and HU2 appear to be anything but committed to it and likely to be hard to work with as well – so how would she like you to phrase your refusal letter to make her look as good as possible and strengthen her position in the organization?
posted by jamjam at 11:57 AM on December 18, 2019
posted by jamjam at 11:57 AM on December 18, 2019
Best answer: I’d give her a quick call saying that you’d love to work with her in the future but that it seems that the project is still up in the air and in the meantime, you need to go with a sure thing.
Then I’d follow up with an e-mail to the higher ups (and to her and whoever else needs to be copied) saying that it was a pleasure meeting them, but you’ve just taken on a new contract, are no longer available for their project, and wish them well.
I’ve been in your contact’s position and agree that she is probably well aware of how dysfunctional her bosses are. She also knows that you haVe to make a living and can’t be strung along forever.
posted by rpfields at 12:04 PM on December 18, 2019 [2 favorites]
Then I’d follow up with an e-mail to the higher ups (and to her and whoever else needs to be copied) saying that it was a pleasure meeting them, but you’ve just taken on a new contract, are no longer available for their project, and wish them well.
I’ve been in your contact’s position and agree that she is probably well aware of how dysfunctional her bosses are. She also knows that you haVe to make a living and can’t be strung along forever.
posted by rpfields at 12:04 PM on December 18, 2019 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I wouldn't call them out on their dysfunction - you never know quite where it's coming from and you never know how you're paths will cross down the road. Say you took another project and stay in touch with Ms. X. This was the risk they took when they delayed getting you on contract or retainer and if they can't roll with that, it's one more argument against working with them. That's not burning bridges that's ensuring the viability and success of your personal business.
Don't be too ebullient in your 'i hope we can work together down another time' - you don't want to talk yourself into a corner and have to turn down future work with the same group of folks repeatedly in the future. You run the risk then of developing a rep (potentially not just w/in that org) as 'never available', which is only a good rep if you correspondingly have a 'but their work is amazing so i'm going to keep trying to hire them rep' Determine from your perspective what would have to change that you'd be willing to work for that org, and occasionally watch for those signals on LinkedIn, etc. Strike up a separate networking relationship with Ms. X, checking in on what she's doing every so often.
posted by snowymorninblues at 12:24 PM on December 18, 2019 [5 favorites]
Don't be too ebullient in your 'i hope we can work together down another time' - you don't want to talk yourself into a corner and have to turn down future work with the same group of folks repeatedly in the future. You run the risk then of developing a rep (potentially not just w/in that org) as 'never available', which is only a good rep if you correspondingly have a 'but their work is amazing so i'm going to keep trying to hire them rep' Determine from your perspective what would have to change that you'd be willing to work for that org, and occasionally watch for those signals on LinkedIn, etc. Strike up a separate networking relationship with Ms. X, checking in on what she's doing every so often.
posted by snowymorninblues at 12:24 PM on December 18, 2019 [5 favorites]
but that HU1 and HU2 appear to be anything but committed to it and likely to be hard to work with as well
I would stay away from this. Be careful about expressing opinions that you weren't asked for.
posted by John Borrowman at 12:25 PM on December 18, 2019 [14 favorites]
I would stay away from this. Be careful about expressing opinions that you weren't asked for.
posted by John Borrowman at 12:25 PM on December 18, 2019 [14 favorites]
Just say thanks for thinking of you for the work but because the project keeps getting pushed back, you can’t afford to wait any longer and have had to move on, so won’t be available for this job. Anyone will understand you can’t keep someone on a string forever, people need paid employment.
posted by Jubey at 1:46 PM on December 18, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by Jubey at 1:46 PM on December 18, 2019 [6 favorites]
Excellent advice above in how to reply so I'll simply add:
If Ms. X is as good and savvy as you seem to think, she very likely knows or at least suspects that her colleagues are stinkers and would not blame you for doing what you need to do if you are professional about it.
She very likely will be open to maintaining a professional connection with you in the future. She may even worry that her colleagues will reflect poorly on her in your eyes and that you may want not to maintain a professional connection with her.
Source: I have been in Ms. X's shoes.
posted by Goblin Barbarian at 2:28 PM on December 18, 2019 [2 favorites]
If Ms. X is as good and savvy as you seem to think, she very likely knows or at least suspects that her colleagues are stinkers and would not blame you for doing what you need to do if you are professional about it.
She very likely will be open to maintaining a professional connection with you in the future. She may even worry that her colleagues will reflect poorly on her in your eyes and that you may want not to maintain a professional connection with her.
Source: I have been in Ms. X's shoes.
posted by Goblin Barbarian at 2:28 PM on December 18, 2019 [2 favorites]
If you can still get on that project you turned down, problem solved.
posted by amtho at 4:46 PM on December 18, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by amtho at 4:46 PM on December 18, 2019 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Polite email sent! Plus a second, much warmer, message to Ms X about staying in touch.
Thanks to everyone for the help. Sadly the job I turned down would have been this week, but hopefully I can find some better opportunities in the New Year.
posted by doornoise at 6:04 AM on December 19, 2019 [2 favorites]
Thanks to everyone for the help. Sadly the job I turned down would have been this week, but hopefully I can find some better opportunities in the New Year.
posted by doornoise at 6:04 AM on December 19, 2019 [2 favorites]
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Any particular reason you can't say that this precise thing happened in reverse - that you'd just LOVE to help but UNFORTUNATELY you've just taken on a new time-consuming project which will preclude your working on this one?
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:28 AM on December 18, 2019 [19 favorites]