Indian Engagement Etiquette
December 11, 2019 4:14 PM Subscribe
One of my team members has flown back to India for the holidays and surprise! He's getting engaged in 4 days. He's worked for me for a little over a year, and I've done a lot to mentor his success. As such, he's sent me an engagement invitation. While clearly, my wife and I are not going to be able to attend, what can we do, and or send that would be culturally appropriate at 7500 miles away? - or should I just wait til he gets back despite his fiance still being in India?
Also Indian American, different cultural group (Muslim from Andhra), same opinion as basalganglia. It’s a formality. Send congratulations and nothing else for now.
posted by yawper at 7:36 PM on December 11, 2019
posted by yawper at 7:36 PM on December 11, 2019
Cash is always fine too, just don't pick a round number like $100; do $101 instead!Can you explain a little more about this?
posted by Nerd of the North at 7:48 PM on December 11, 2019 [1 favorite]
explanations do vary, from having a logical basis, to custom, to superstition, but basically it invites good fortune to give a sum in odd numbers.
posted by cendawanita at 10:32 PM on December 11, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by cendawanita at 10:32 PM on December 11, 2019 [1 favorite]
As an American who had an Indian engagement I can say that there is a popular end around to the round-numbers issue which comes in the form of purpose designed cards with a one rupee coin affixed to the front.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 7:41 AM on December 12, 2019
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 7:41 AM on December 12, 2019
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Specific customs are likely to vary by his region of origin. For my family (secular Hindu, Maharashtrian) an engagement is really just an excuse for a fancy party. I've been to lots of engagement ceremonies, and gifts generally aren't a thing. Other regions may vary.
If he's anything like most Indian Americans who go to India to find a spouse/get married, he may have a second wedding ceremony, or at least a reception, here once his spouse arrives. Your usual "set up housekeeping" style wedding gifts would likely be appreciated at that. Cash is always fine too, just don't pick a round number like $100; do $101 instead!
posted by basalganglia at 4:35 PM on December 11, 2019 [10 favorites]