A Durable Necklace for a Fidgety Socialist

December 2, 2019 2:23 AM

Recently I've been thinking about getting a necklace with a simple rose pendant, as a nice little reminder of what I'm fighting for. I don't know anything about jewelry, though. If this is a necklace that I'll be wearing everyday, close to skin, and fidgeting with throughout the day, what type of chain or metal should I get? And how/where should I buy it? What's the safe, reputable, and durable option? No price limit for the question - just want to understand the lay of the land!
posted by facehugger to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (9 answers total)

So, if you fidget with something a lot, you will eventually either break the chain or the clasp. I know this because I am a necklace fidgeter. It is usually possible to repair quite easily if you have a tame local jeweller.

For genuinely everyday wear, you need something you are not allergic to (and not likely to become allergic to), which may mean that you need gold ahead of silver, or a hypoallergenic alloy.

The other element to consider is size, both in terms of size of the pendant, and the chain you will be wearing it on. This will depend on the kinds of necklines you wear, and whether you want this to be a very visible accessory, or more of a hidden piece of jewellery. You can probably experiment in a shop with different lengths and sizes.
posted by plonkee at 3:56 AM on December 2, 2019

You might want to go with a cord or a leather thong instead of a chain.
posted by BostonTerrier at 5:57 AM on December 2, 2019 [2 favorites]

If everyday wear, not fidgeting, is the goal, I would try to find a very thin chain with a lightweight flat pendant, long enough to rest a bit under the hollow of your throat. Something so light that you'll eventually forget you're wearing.
If the fidget is part of the fun, search for "stim necklaces" specifically made for fidgeting with (or chewing). There are lots of options for kids on the spectrum, but I'm starting to see more grown-up versions. They're usually made with a leather string and silicone for chewing, or metal with spinning elements.
posted by Freyja at 7:34 AM on December 2, 2019

Have you considered getting a bracelet instead of a necklace? When you play with a pendant on a necklace you're drawing attention to your torso which you may not want to do. Fidgeting with something on your wrist is less likely to draw someone's attention.

I saw a bunch of really lovely rose jewelry pieces on ETSY.
posted by mareli at 10:03 AM on December 2, 2019

Stimtastic have a blossom design as one of their chewable fidget jewelry options.
posted by Lexica at 10:06 AM on December 2, 2019 [2 favorites]

I can vouch for Stimtastic's quality being way better than the price would seem to imply! I have a necklace and bracelet from them that both could pass for grown-up jewelry. The blossom in Garnet might work for you, and you could buy a backup as well.
posted by fiercecupcake at 12:39 PM on December 2, 2019

Jewelry made of thick silver can be very durable - I have a ring that I've worn on my right hand constantly for over 30 years, and, the band is just now starting to become visibly thinner. In another 20 years it may break? The nice thing about silver that gets fidgeted with is that it takes on a really amazing lustrous shine, all the silver that I wear a lot practically glows. So, if you get a chain that has nice thick links, and make sure that all the jump rings and clasp are really securely attached, it should last and look beautiful for a long time.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 9:21 PM on December 2, 2019

This Stimtastic fidget bracelet isn't a necklace, but it's very similar to a homemade necklace that I wear every day, that's also made of lava stone. I find that lave stone is very, very soothing to fidget with, because of the pleasantly rough texture. It's also a good contrast to the smooth texture of the other gemstones used in the bracelet. When away from the skin, the lava stone also cools down, and that can be soothing on the skin.

If it does break, it can be restrung on thick silk thread really easily. Possibly the only problem is that people might think you're Buddhist, because it looks like a mala. But otherwise, it looks both colorful and adult.

Share of the Bodhi Tree is aimed at Buddhists who wants to make their own malas for meditation use, but this is where I got the supplies for my necklace, if you want to make your own. The jewelry made from these materials will definitely withstand fidgeting, as us Buddhists are doing that with our malas all of the time!
posted by spinifex23 at 12:20 AM on December 3, 2019

I've bought 2 titanium chains from this place and have been satisfied with the durability. They are made for people who want to never remove jewelry for sleeping, showering, and such. Titanium is lighweight and hypoalergenic. Is is a bit duller and darker than silver but much more durable. You could find a pendant you like and have it on the chain. I bought my cains to go with 2 custom anatometal pendants from a piercer.
posted by WeekendJen at 11:15 PM on December 9, 2019