How do I talk to our Housekeeping service about missing jewelry?
November 24, 2019 9:03 PM   Subscribe

Hi ALl, This isn't a question I wanted to ask, but here we are. Mom suspects our housekeepers of swiping some valuable, sentimentally irreplaceable jewelry while she was away on vacation. I'm tasked with talking to them about this and wonder how to do so.

We've had a mostly good, long-standing relationship with a maid service for a few years. I've already filed a police report but don't expect much to come of it, and there's unfortunately no insurance.

I'm just wondering what approach I can take when I talk to them tomorrow. I don't want to outright accuse them of anything but this feels particularly blatant because I am blind, and was in the house at the time they were cleaning. I obviously couldn't see anything suspicious.

I'd appreciate any advice you might have to offer, Mefi. Thank you as always.
posted by Alensin to Human Relations (14 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
Open by asking if they had anyone subbing in with the crew that day, maybe? When I've had trouble (breakage, not stealing in my case) it's always turned out to be that that day they had some unapproved person subbing in.

(also, be REALLY sure that jewelry is gone. I spent a couple hours once absolutely sure that my cleaners had stolen my weed... went into this whole meditation about the power of drugs, as they'd never stolen anything before... and long story short, the weed was untouched, I'd just misremembered what its packaging looked like. Would have been very distressing for everyone if I'd accused them.)
posted by fingersandtoes at 9:16 PM on November 24, 2019 [15 favorites]


I’d just ask if they moved it while they were cleaning, you normally leave it in x place but because you’re blind if they’ve shifted it you can’t see it. It’s entirely likely this actually happened and you wouldn’t know. Say it in a non accusatory voice obviously, and hopefully that’s all that’s happened.
posted by Jubey at 9:18 PM on November 24, 2019 [19 favorites]


Offer them a narrative where it’s all a mistake — you left the jewelry in with some papers, or on the edge of the sink or whatever, and the cleaners may have put them somewhere unexpected.

Do not even bring up the idea of theft.

By doing this you a) let them know that you know what’s missing and b) give them a way to return it without losing face. It’s not really satisfying from a justice standpoint, but I think it’s your best shot at recovery.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:37 PM on November 24, 2019 [15 favorites]


I don’t know. Every time something has gone “missing” and I’ve considered the house cleaners, I’ve always found the item. I think they are a red herring possibility because they are in your space and therefore seem like a possible culprit but odds are they did not.
posted by amanda at 5:38 AM on November 25, 2019 [5 favorites]


If you're speaking with the actual cleaners, I would ask them for their help, like "last week this item went missing and it has a huge sentimental value and my mother and I are both upset. I was wondering if you saw it or moved it?" Just state the problem without judgement, like you would in any professional situation, to see if they have any ideas. I don't think you need to make anything up or provide any assumption, just say what happened.

If you're speaking with an owner or a customer service rep, I think you could be more direct, like "we've never had a problem and I don't want to assume that this item was stolen, but we have looked everywhere and it appears to be gone, and it coincides with your visit, and no one else from outside the family has been in the house. I've filed a police report. It does have value to us, could we discuss whether your business insurance might cover the loss?"
posted by warriorqueen at 5:48 AM on November 25, 2019 [2 favorites]


If you actually really really want it back, offer them a cash reward if “they manage to locate it.” This unfortunately doesn’t handle the “justice” end so good, but it has the largest chance of working. It only works if you’re trustworthy, of course. Good luck.

We had piano movers steal a ring back in 1984. I was too poor to use this ploy (grad school and young family) and the “I hate to accuse anyone...” thing worked as well as you’d expect for a place that knew they weren’t getting any repeat business.....
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 6:39 AM on November 25, 2019 [4 favorites]


I was wondering if you saw it or moved it?

Agreed - I think the way to phrase the question is "we've misplaced X, did you happen to come across it while you were cleaning?"
posted by capricorn at 8:46 AM on November 25, 2019 [5 favorites]


Just another person coming in to say, I once had a ring go missing, thought it was the pet sitter (didn't ask her about it fortunately) and later discovered it was me who had moved the ring to a place I don't usually put jewelery, and forgotten I moved it.
posted by WalkerWestridge at 9:13 AM on November 25, 2019


My mother was convinced her aide had stolen her rings; I found them a few weeks later, wrapped in a tissue, in the pocket of Mom's sweatshirt.

In other news: be very sure they are not elsewhere in the house.
posted by suelac at 12:33 PM on November 25, 2019 [2 favorites]


I agree with everyone saying to bring it up as if the items have just been misplaced and you wonder if they've come across them, and also with everyone saying to be sure they really are missing. The fact that it was missed after a vacation makes me wonder if your mother moved the jewellery to an unusual hiding place for extra safekeeping while she was away and has forgotten this fact. I had this happen with an elderly relative's medals once - they ended up having been stashed in an old cookie tin with a bunch of party favours.
posted by andraste at 1:43 PM on November 25, 2019 [1 favorite]


Don't be shy at all in dealing with the maid service. Maid service owners deal with potential theft by their employees all the time and won't be offended.
posted by MattD at 8:15 AM on November 26, 2019


Response by poster: Well… I feel relieved, and mom hopefully feels at least a bit sheepish, as the jewelry turned up in an unexpected place in the cupboard it was supposed to be in. I can only hope that the relationship with the housekeepers wasn't too badly damaged by our call to them yesterday.
posted by Alensin at 9:15 AM on November 26, 2019 [5 favorites]


Great news! You probably have already, but if you haven’t, let the housekeeper know that you found it so they don’t worry.
posted by Jubey at 12:44 PM on November 26, 2019 [2 favorites]


in an unexpected place in the cupboard it was supposed to be in.

just like my not-at-all-missing weed. I'm so glad!!
posted by fingersandtoes at 4:38 PM on November 26, 2019 [1 favorite]


« Older Winfinite Indow 818-555-0130   |   How to improve/polish poetry (to publication level... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.