I will crush you like an insect
November 23, 2019 12:29 PM Subscribe
I enjoy threatening my children using cartoonish supervillain-type phrases. Please tell me your favourite over-the-top threats - they are quite small children so the threats need to be hugely, obviously ludicrous.
Also keen to hear any collective terms I could start using to address them, along the lines of "pesky/meddling kids".
They are Tiny Germs, which you will mop up with the biggest, most disinfectant-smelling mop ever known to villainkind.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 12:49 PM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 12:49 PM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
I don't have kids, but I frequently tell my cats that I am going to bake them into a pie when they're being mischievous.
posted by sarcasticah at 12:58 PM on November 23, 2019 [16 favorites]
posted by sarcasticah at 12:58 PM on November 23, 2019 [16 favorites]
I always call my own son, his friends, and tween library patrons "knuckleheads".
posted by lyssabee at 12:58 PM on November 23, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by lyssabee at 12:58 PM on November 23, 2019 [5 favorites]
I used to (and sometimes still do) call my now grown children Gashleycrumb Tinies.
posted by primate moon at 1:12 PM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by primate moon at 1:12 PM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
My sib and I were “loin-fruit” when my parents were especially annoyed or especially amused.
posted by clew at 1:13 PM on November 23, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by clew at 1:13 PM on November 23, 2019 [7 favorites]
There were loin-fruit-specific admonishments which I can’t remember! Peeling? Seeds? Fed to the chickens? Left for the wasps? Something more about how fruit goes bad than what the parents would do to the fruit.
posted by clew at 1:15 PM on November 23, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by clew at 1:15 PM on November 23, 2019 [5 favorites]
Ankle-biters
posted by runincircles at 1:15 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by runincircles at 1:15 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
I once heard a very tired London mother summon her children with "Come along, ratbags."
posted by Pallas Athena at 1:24 PM on November 23, 2019 [34 favorites]
posted by Pallas Athena at 1:24 PM on November 23, 2019 [34 favorites]
We randomly say "it's time to beat the kids". Not funny if kids are ever beaten, obviously, but in our house it's funny.
posted by waving at 1:30 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by waving at 1:30 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
One you can do with hand signals is 'I squish your head'. Hold your thumb and forefinger up to your eye in a 'c' shape and capture your child's head between the space made by your fingertips. Then bring your finger tips together while saying "I squish your head" in a slightly freaky whisper. So.much.fun.
posted by Thella at 1:38 PM on November 23, 2019 [9 favorites]
posted by Thella at 1:38 PM on November 23, 2019 [9 favorites]
Are you open to German? I was reminded yesterday of a phrase my grandparents would use, "lästig wie die wanz." It's along the lines of "annoying as bugs." We kids took to running around in circles shouting it gleefully as they rolled their eyes.
posted by oxisos at 1:39 PM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by oxisos at 1:39 PM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
I would probably go with something like shit-weasels, but I am a bad mom. Snot-weasels, maybe?
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 1:51 PM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 1:51 PM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
I’m going to stuff you with beans and sell you as a doll!
I’m going to dip you in plastic and sell you as a Barbie!
I’m going to roll you in flour and bake you into a cookie!
I’m going to dip you in chocolate and serve you for dessert!
I’m going to scrunch you into a tiny ball and use you to plug the bathtub!
posted by nouvelle-personne at 1:54 PM on November 23, 2019 [5 favorites]
I’m going to dip you in plastic and sell you as a Barbie!
I’m going to roll you in flour and bake you into a cookie!
I’m going to dip you in chocolate and serve you for dessert!
I’m going to scrunch you into a tiny ball and use you to plug the bathtub!
posted by nouvelle-personne at 1:54 PM on November 23, 2019 [5 favorites]
My parents had twins when I was 11 and as the eldest of 4+2=6, I quickly acquired some new skills, e.g., I know how to iron (and I'm not sure the twins do). The worst job was preparing cloth diapers for the washing machine.
Anyway, I called the twins "beasties" and they still remember, all these years later. Also, I came across "filthy brutes" in the Aubrey+Maturin novels, somebody referring to the midshipmen, and I use that now and then.
posted by kingless at 1:57 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
Anyway, I called the twins "beasties" and they still remember, all these years later. Also, I came across "filthy brutes" in the Aubrey+Maturin novels, somebody referring to the midshipmen, and I use that now and then.
posted by kingless at 1:57 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
Varmints.
posted by LizardBreath at 2:28 PM on November 23, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by LizardBreath at 2:28 PM on November 23, 2019 [5 favorites]
"the Gruesome Twosome". If there are two of them.
If there are three of them, err, "The Neeson Threesome", if their dad is Liam Neeson?
posted by runincircles at 2:29 PM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
If there are three of them, err, "The Neeson Threesome", if their dad is Liam Neeson?
posted by runincircles at 2:29 PM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
Walk the plank!
To the dungeons with you!
Better be careful or I’ll feed you to the... laser piranhas! galactic leopard! robot dinosaurs! vampire gerbil!
Oh just you wait [insert crescendoing supervillainous laugh].
posted by donut_princess at 2:30 PM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
To the dungeons with you!
Better be careful or I’ll feed you to the... laser piranhas! galactic leopard! robot dinosaurs! vampire gerbil!
Oh just you wait [insert crescendoing supervillainous laugh].
posted by donut_princess at 2:30 PM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
FOOLISH MORTALS
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:05 PM on November 23, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:05 PM on November 23, 2019 [6 favorites]
A la Calvin & Hobbes - I'll sell you to the monkey house!
"You just wait'll your $parent hears about this!" (spoken as that very same $parent)
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:12 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
"You just wait'll your $parent hears about this!" (spoken as that very same $parent)
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:12 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
I like urchin and progeny, and any insult that sounds Shakesperian.
posted by theora55 at 3:17 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by theora55 at 3:17 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
"50 lashings with a wet noodle" is a classic.
posted by rouftop at 3:20 PM on November 23, 2019 [10 favorites]
posted by rouftop at 3:20 PM on November 23, 2019 [10 favorites]
My favorite is the friends of mine who call theirs "the freeloaders."
posted by jocelmeow at 3:26 PM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by jocelmeow at 3:26 PM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
Minions, of course
posted by OHenryPacey at 3:38 PM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by OHenryPacey at 3:38 PM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
I am a little ashamed to admit this, but for many many years, on particularly late nights of fighting with him over bedtime, my lullaby to our son was (to the tune of Brahms' lullaby, in a vaguely Eastern European accent):
Go to sleep, little boy
Go to sleep or I'll keelll you
Go to sleep, little boy
Go to sleep or you will die
Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep little love
Go to sleep, go to sleep
Or I'll put poison in your oatmeal.
But I am a terrible human being.
posted by Mchelly at 3:41 PM on November 23, 2019 [19 favorites]
Go to sleep, little boy
Go to sleep or I'll keelll you
Go to sleep, little boy
Go to sleep or you will die
Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep little love
Go to sleep, go to sleep
Or I'll put poison in your oatmeal.
But I am a terrible human being.
posted by Mchelly at 3:41 PM on November 23, 2019 [19 favorites]
Mine were referred to as the Three Horsechildren of the Apocalypse, and I sometimes threatened to tear somone's arm off and beat him or her to death with it.
I also used to tell them they were "..a byword in the nation, the sorrow of their foremothers and the grief of their forefathers - A byword in the nation!" Now I am merely reduced to using those words to admonish the dog. He doesn't listen either.
The youngest two, close in age to each other and separate in age from their older sister were referred to as Harum and Scarum, or when suffering from car sickness as Volley and Thunder. Their sister was excused from being brought on car trips because it was far too unkind to have her strapped into the back between their car seats.
The original pairing was my sister and myself known as Donner and Blitzen.
Foul fiend of the bottomless pit was a standard sort of address that one of my kids would use on another. My daughter once repulsed her younger brother by saying, "Back... back to the depths that spawned you!" which made me yelp indignantly and grab my lower belly
There is the classic threat to tie the child's arms in a knot behind their back.
My mother used to say, "Be off or I'll kick you downstairs!" a quote from Jabberwocky. There were no stairs and we understood the source of the quote so we would merely smirk.
When ranting at the kids I frequently ended up yelling "Do I look stupid to yo....DON'T ANSWER THAT!" It completely destroyed any good effect the rant might have had in correcting them but it made me laugh, which would make me feel better.
All of these are historic or literary or popular references, and not original.
posted by Jane the Brown at 3:47 PM on November 23, 2019 [16 favorites]
I also used to tell them they were "..a byword in the nation, the sorrow of their foremothers and the grief of their forefathers - A byword in the nation!" Now I am merely reduced to using those words to admonish the dog. He doesn't listen either.
The youngest two, close in age to each other and separate in age from their older sister were referred to as Harum and Scarum, or when suffering from car sickness as Volley and Thunder. Their sister was excused from being brought on car trips because it was far too unkind to have her strapped into the back between their car seats.
The original pairing was my sister and myself known as Donner and Blitzen.
Foul fiend of the bottomless pit was a standard sort of address that one of my kids would use on another. My daughter once repulsed her younger brother by saying, "Back... back to the depths that spawned you!" which made me yelp indignantly and grab my lower belly
There is the classic threat to tie the child's arms in a knot behind their back.
My mother used to say, "Be off or I'll kick you downstairs!" a quote from Jabberwocky. There were no stairs and we understood the source of the quote so we would merely smirk.
When ranting at the kids I frequently ended up yelling "Do I look stupid to yo....DON'T ANSWER THAT!" It completely destroyed any good effect the rant might have had in correcting them but it made me laugh, which would make me feel better.
All of these are historic or literary or popular references, and not original.
posted by Jane the Brown at 3:47 PM on November 23, 2019 [16 favorites]
My mom used to say "I'm going to slap your hands and face with a wet lettuce", or sometimes " I'm going to turn you upside down and shake you".
Dad (ex-Army, former bouncer, factory union man, tough guy) would blow raspberries at us.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 4:49 PM on November 23, 2019
Dad (ex-Army, former bouncer, factory union man, tough guy) would blow raspberries at us.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 4:49 PM on November 23, 2019
This is very southern: "Snatch you up by your eyelashes!"
posted by heathrowga at 4:55 PM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by heathrowga at 4:55 PM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
A local clown likes to say, ‚Anyone who laughs will be EJECTED!‘ and the kids think it’s hilarious
posted by The Toad at 4:56 PM on November 23, 2019
posted by The Toad at 4:56 PM on November 23, 2019
MEATBAGS.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 5:11 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 5:11 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
My dad used to call my brother and I "Scumbag and Pus-bucket". We would argue over which of us was which.
posted by cloverthistle at 5:25 PM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by cloverthistle at 5:25 PM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
Beaten to “squishing your heads” so I will just say I often threaten to sell kids on eBay or to make them sleep on the balcony.
posted by Iteki at 5:47 PM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Iteki at 5:47 PM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
My peeved grandfather would proclaim "I hope your children are born NAKED"
posted by tinker at 6:36 PM on November 23, 2019 [9 favorites]
posted by tinker at 6:36 PM on November 23, 2019 [9 favorites]
My dad used to wonder aloud whether he should put some "Weasel Squirt" into whatever he was cooking, which my sister and I found both horrifying and hilarious
posted by Narrative Priorities at 7:14 PM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Narrative Priorities at 7:14 PM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
oh man - my kids had real bad things happen to them so I had to make up super crazy things to threaten them with when I lost my temper so they knew I was absolutely kidding. Our favourites were: I am taking you to the children sausage factory! That's right we are having you all made into sausages and I am going to put extra garlic and herbs into you and FRY YOU UP for dinner tonight because you are finally big enough to cook for dinner and you will be DELICIOUS (for when they were whining about where are we going etc - now we refer to any new place as the child sausage factory)
My current threat is that I will chop off their feet and replace them with CHICKEN CLAWS, that's right buddy, you are getting big scratchy claws instead of the nice kitty paws that I could give you, oh no, and if you keep going, it's your arms next, you are getting chicken wings! Oh wait, then you will be able to fly. I take that back, you are getting MONKEY ARMS.
We also have Tickle Fingers that posses my hands and can only be stopped when children behave (they do not actually tickle, they just threaten to tickle and must be held down with the other hand - this involves a lot of slapstick and is v. useful in car rides).
They developed serious favouritism issues from last year so I started saying whoever made me coffee most recently is my Most Favourite Wonderful Child, and that helped.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 7:26 PM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
My current threat is that I will chop off their feet and replace them with CHICKEN CLAWS, that's right buddy, you are getting big scratchy claws instead of the nice kitty paws that I could give you, oh no, and if you keep going, it's your arms next, you are getting chicken wings! Oh wait, then you will be able to fly. I take that back, you are getting MONKEY ARMS.
We also have Tickle Fingers that posses my hands and can only be stopped when children behave (they do not actually tickle, they just threaten to tickle and must be held down with the other hand - this involves a lot of slapstick and is v. useful in car rides).
They developed serious favouritism issues from last year so I started saying whoever made me coffee most recently is my Most Favourite Wonderful Child, and that helped.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 7:26 PM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
mine have been, let's see... pestilential varmints; you wicked wicked children; butt chiggers; dybbuks; and occasionally turd burglars (but they're probably older than yours.)
as far as threats go, I have threatened to squish them and that's about it. One time I thoughtlessly told my then- 4 year old that I was going to kill her (I don't remember what she'd done, but I was very annoyed) and she cried "that's so mean! I'm your child! You shouldn't want to kill me!" and it was SO SAD. Ever since then I watch my words with them. Oh, sometimes I do threaten to fart. #declasse
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:46 PM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
as far as threats go, I have threatened to squish them and that's about it. One time I thoughtlessly told my then- 4 year old that I was going to kill her (I don't remember what she'd done, but I was very annoyed) and she cried "that's so mean! I'm your child! You shouldn't want to kill me!" and it was SO SAD. Ever since then I watch my words with them. Oh, sometimes I do threaten to fart. #declasse
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:46 PM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
I will deep fry you in a volcano!
I will suspend you in a giant jello mold.
I will juice you like an orange! (Hug if it's hugging time)
posted by meemzi at 9:10 PM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
I will suspend you in a giant jello mold.
I will juice you like an orange! (Hug if it's hugging time)
posted by meemzi at 9:10 PM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
My parents used to threaten to stuff me or my sister into one of these recycling domes through the tiny hole because apparently that's how you ship away your misbehaving kids in exchange for new ones.
posted by extramundane at 9:27 PM on November 23, 2019
posted by extramundane at 9:27 PM on November 23, 2019
Some threats cribbed from other sources:
-Well, that's it, we're broke. We're going to have to sell one of you.
(Maybe to a mad scientist's laboratory?)
-If you don't stop running around yelling, I am going to roll you up in a yoga mat and stuff you behind the couch. Alternately, roll you up in the rug and leave you on the front lawn.
-Ooh, sometimes I just wanna zip you up in a sleeping bag and throw you in the lake! Alternately, run the sleeping bag over with a steamroller until they're a big round flat pancake.
-Hmm, trying to decide...when I put you in the woodchipper and grind you up, do I put you in head first, or feet first?
Head first, I think, because I bet your little legs sticking out will be funny (makes twiddling motion with two fingers)
-I am going to take you to the swing set in the park, and push you and shove you until you swing so high and so fast you go all the way around. Hehehe. Because you know what happens when you go all the way around on the swings? Your whole body TURNS INSIDE OUT!! Your skin is on the inside and your bones are on the outside and all your guts fall out, goosh.
-I'm gonna tie your shoelaces together and hang you upside down from the coat rack lIke a bat. (Can be escalated to ceiling fan)
-I'm going to put your elbows in your ears. Alternately, tie your eyelids together, staple your ears to your nose, etc.
posted by bartleby at 12:58 AM on November 24, 2019
-Well, that's it, we're broke. We're going to have to sell one of you.
(Maybe to a mad scientist's laboratory?)
-If you don't stop running around yelling, I am going to roll you up in a yoga mat and stuff you behind the couch. Alternately, roll you up in the rug and leave you on the front lawn.
-Ooh, sometimes I just wanna zip you up in a sleeping bag and throw you in the lake! Alternately, run the sleeping bag over with a steamroller until they're a big round flat pancake.
-Hmm, trying to decide...when I put you in the woodchipper and grind you up, do I put you in head first, or feet first?
Head first, I think, because I bet your little legs sticking out will be funny (makes twiddling motion with two fingers)
-I am going to take you to the swing set in the park, and push you and shove you until you swing so high and so fast you go all the way around. Hehehe. Because you know what happens when you go all the way around on the swings? Your whole body TURNS INSIDE OUT!! Your skin is on the inside and your bones are on the outside and all your guts fall out, goosh.
-I'm gonna tie your shoelaces together and hang you upside down from the coat rack lIke a bat. (Can be escalated to ceiling fan)
-I'm going to put your elbows in your ears. Alternately, tie your eyelids together, staple your ears to your nose, etc.
posted by bartleby at 12:58 AM on November 24, 2019
This one requires
1 tantrum
2 parents, who have discussed the bit beforehand and are both calm in the face of this particular tantrum
Kid is throwing a fit, having an outburst, complaining that they never get to do anything, etc.
Hey honey! I think it broke!
Other parent, coming over. Again? That's like, what four now? Five versions? (Discussing the kid and looking at them like it's a flat tire or something)
I'm telling you, it's the memory wipes. Too many, they get unstable. Remember how many times it took to get the dog right? And that was just the dog.
Well, then what do you think? Do we just clone a fresh one and start with a null program?
Etc.
posted by bartleby at 1:11 AM on November 24, 2019 [12 favorites]
1 tantrum
2 parents, who have discussed the bit beforehand and are both calm in the face of this particular tantrum
Kid is throwing a fit, having an outburst, complaining that they never get to do anything, etc.
Hey honey! I think it broke!
Other parent, coming over. Again? That's like, what four now? Five versions? (Discussing the kid and looking at them like it's a flat tire or something)
I'm telling you, it's the memory wipes. Too many, they get unstable. Remember how many times it took to get the dog right? And that was just the dog.
Well, then what do you think? Do we just clone a fresh one and start with a null program?
Etc.
posted by bartleby at 1:11 AM on November 24, 2019 [12 favorites]
For terms of address, our family would often go with overly formal
What's that, dinner's ready? Coming, Mater Familias!
Lord and Lady Fancypants-von-Snootington-Smythe, would you be so gracious as to wash your hands and set the table?
Or draw upon a random assortment of titles - any two people trying to get through a door turned into Pardon me Senator, no after you Rabbi.
But for a long time we had a very Nathan W. Pyle family-of-alien-robots thing going.
Paternal Unit? When will Nocturnal Sustenance be ready for ingestion?
Estimated completion in 300 seconds. Please track and retrieve Maternal Unit and Elder Sibling to the Food Consumption Chamber.
posted by bartleby at 1:42 AM on November 24, 2019 [4 favorites]
What's that, dinner's ready? Coming, Mater Familias!
Lord and Lady Fancypants-von-Snootington-Smythe, would you be so gracious as to wash your hands and set the table?
Or draw upon a random assortment of titles - any two people trying to get through a door turned into Pardon me Senator, no after you Rabbi.
But for a long time we had a very Nathan W. Pyle family-of-alien-robots thing going.
Paternal Unit? When will Nocturnal Sustenance be ready for ingestion?
Estimated completion in 300 seconds. Please track and retrieve Maternal Unit and Elder Sibling to the Food Consumption Chamber.
posted by bartleby at 1:42 AM on November 24, 2019 [4 favorites]
These are all hilarious! And I'm all for jokey admonishments, but: I told my girls I was a witch, and later they told me that they had believed me for ages. Far longer than you'd imagine. They even showed their friends my magic wand (a broken chopstick) that only I could make work.
posted by mumimor at 3:03 AM on November 24, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by mumimor at 3:03 AM on November 24, 2019 [2 favorites]
As a HUGE fan of the Gene Wilder Charlie & the Chocolate Factory film, my mother used to raise a single eyebrow and calmly say.
"Don't make me summon the Ommpa Loompas"
To which I'd (over dramatically) reply "Nooooooooooooooo! *Anything* but the Ommpa Loompas!", still got me to amend my behaviour though :)
posted by Faintdreams at 5:29 AM on November 24, 2019 [3 favorites]
"Don't make me summon the Ommpa Loompas"
To which I'd (over dramatically) reply "Nooooooooooooooo! *Anything* but the Ommpa Loompas!", still got me to amend my behaviour though :)
posted by Faintdreams at 5:29 AM on November 24, 2019 [3 favorites]
(Yeah, all of these probably deserve an occasional like "You know I'm not really going to feed all your desserts to the Jackalope, right?")
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:36 AM on November 24, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:36 AM on November 24, 2019 [1 favorite]
Also you should totally threaten to feed their desserts to whatever cryptids you have on hand
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:56 AM on November 24, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by nebulawindphone at 5:56 AM on November 24, 2019 [4 favorites]
My dad used to threaten to stuff jelly beans up my left nostril.
posted by Valancy Rachel at 8:10 AM on November 24, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Valancy Rachel at 8:10 AM on November 24, 2019 [2 favorites]
I frequently told mine I would sell him to the circus. Or no dinner for 1000 years. He was pretty sensitive so even things like "little stinker" had to be used sparingly
posted by emjaybee at 10:00 AM on November 24, 2019
posted by emjaybee at 10:00 AM on November 24, 2019
At dinnertime, with a weary sigh,
"I guess we can keep you alive one more day."
posted by BostonTerrier at 12:21 PM on November 24, 2019 [3 favorites]
"I guess we can keep you alive one more day."
posted by BostonTerrier at 12:21 PM on November 24, 2019 [3 favorites]
My father used to tell us to go play in traffic. And that he was going to "tear your arms off and beat you over the head with them." I especially liked the latter because of the archaic phrasing. I know there were tons more, but I've forgotten most of them. In addition to all the aggro ones, I remember hearing "snug as a bug in a rug" a lot, and when we left to go somewhere, "...and we're off, like a pair of dirty drawers!" He did have some fun turns of phrase.
posted by Don Pepino at 7:45 AM on November 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Don Pepino at 7:45 AM on November 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
And that he was going to "tear your arms off and beat you over the head with them."
Oh I still say that one!... also "if you fall and break both your legs, don't come running to me"
posted by Mchelly at 9:00 AM on November 25, 2019
Oh I still say that one!... also "if you fall and break both your legs, don't come running to me"
posted by Mchelly at 9:00 AM on November 25, 2019
My father also told us to go play in traffic!
posted by tangosnail at 12:32 PM on November 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by tangosnail at 12:32 PM on November 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
I often intone evilly to my cats "let this be your TOMB" when I throw a new sheet on my bed over them as they're hijacking my bedmaking.
Or I call one "you little goblin!" a lot.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 1:59 PM on November 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
Or I call one "you little goblin!" a lot.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 1:59 PM on November 25, 2019 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by SaltySalticid at 12:38 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]