Lazy beauty advice
November 23, 2019 8:13 AM Subscribe
I'm trans and I kinda alternate wildly between feeling attractive and not feeling myself. I also have depression under treatment, so I don't have a ton of free energy. I'd like to invest a little bit of what energy I have left into taking care of my appearance.
Right now I have a pretty basic makeup and hair routine to even out my complexion and make sure my hair looks neither too frizzy or in need of a wash. I'd like to do more without too big an energy/time sink.
I guess examples of stuff that satisfies the itch I'm trying to describe include:
I'd say my aesthetic is a natural look with the occasional femme signifier added on (some eyeliner or mascara and dark neutral lipstick, for example)t. I figure if I'm in a context that calls for a full face, that's an entirely different kind of day.
I guess examples of stuff that satisfies the itch I'm trying to describe include:
- Babyfoot: One evening a year and a few weeks out of sandals, my feet look and feel much better.
- Dry Shampoo/Showercap: I no longer have to worry about drying my hair every time I shower (plus it's easier on my hair than frequent washing)
- Electric Body Trimmer: I just don't have the time to shave my legs that often, especially when it's cold, and this is done in like a minute.
- Night cream: Super easy way to do a little more for my skin without too much more time, and I think my face does feel better.
I'd say my aesthetic is a natural look with the occasional femme signifier added on (some eyeliner or mascara and dark neutral lipstick, for example)t. I figure if I'm in a context that calls for a full face, that's an entirely different kind of day.
I would say get your brows tinted if they are any colour lighter than dark brown, and then no matter what colour they are, definitely get them professionally waxed so they are shaped but not thin. A full, shaped brow is a great frame for the face and will make you look elegant, even on days you choose to wear no makeup. This will all be a half-hour visit; the tint will last a month or two, and you can use the brow shape as a template for tweezing at home.
If your lashes are light coloured get them tinted too; the difference is amazing.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:17 AM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
If your lashes are light coloured get them tinted too; the difference is amazing.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:17 AM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
Response by poster: I do get my brows waxed every month or two! It does make a huge difference and I don't feel condident with tweezers. I'm a light brunette/dark dirty blonde, so maybe I should consider tinting. I'll try out some product for my brows.
posted by ikea_femme at 8:20 AM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by ikea_femme at 8:20 AM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: I guess if it helps:
I'm 5'11", 175 lbs and athletic (I've been lifting heavy for the past year, I gained 14 lbs but look slimmer weirdly enough), 30 years old. My hair texture is wavy and fine and I currently use the curly girl method and I think avoiding silicones and sulfates has really helped my hair find a decent look with just some light brushing.
posted by ikea_femme at 8:23 AM on November 23, 2019
I'm 5'11", 175 lbs and athletic (I've been lifting heavy for the past year, I gained 14 lbs but look slimmer weirdly enough), 30 years old. My hair texture is wavy and fine and I currently use the curly girl method and I think avoiding silicones and sulfates has really helped my hair find a decent look with just some light brushing.
posted by ikea_femme at 8:23 AM on November 23, 2019
Oh man, yeah, brows! I have very light brows, and when I color them in it's like I suddenly have a face, it's wild.
Also, lipstick. Bright red! Everyone looks good with a red lip, I promise. You might need to take a little bit of time to find a tone that works for you, though I think blue-toned reds are pretty close to universal. It's something you already do sometimes, but it's amazing for helping one feel glam af.
posted by kalimac at 8:26 AM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
Also, lipstick. Bright red! Everyone looks good with a red lip, I promise. You might need to take a little bit of time to find a tone that works for you, though I think blue-toned reds are pretty close to universal. It's something you already do sometimes, but it's amazing for helping one feel glam af.
posted by kalimac at 8:26 AM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: No, actually! I tend towards darker reds because they feel more conservative to me. I really like Clinique's Almost Lipstick Dark Honey, which is a sheer dark red that goes with everything but doesn't feel super assertive. I'll have to try out a few drug store reds to find my more conventional red shade.
posted by ikea_femme at 8:29 AM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by ikea_femme at 8:29 AM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
Eyebrow threading if you don’t already. Kinda crazy the difference it makes
posted by jessca84 at 8:33 AM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by jessca84 at 8:33 AM on November 23, 2019 [3 favorites]
A solid skin care routine that includes moisturiser and spf and perhaps occasionally a gentle chemical peel. The better condition your skin is the better any makeup you put on it will look. And even if you don’t spend all your time outside sun damage comes to bite you in middle age and beyond. So daily SPF is both an investment in skin health and your future appearance. This includes moisturising and protecting lips. Very basic steps you can incorporate into your morning and evening routines.
If you drink coffee or red wine consider a box of white strips every now and then.
It can be nice to have a few tubes/pots of hand cream and cuticle oil about your home to encourage you to use them when you see them. It’s again minimal effort but smooth hands with nicely shaped nails go a long way.
posted by koahiatamadl at 8:42 AM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
If you drink coffee or red wine consider a box of white strips every now and then.
It can be nice to have a few tubes/pots of hand cream and cuticle oil about your home to encourage you to use them when you see them. It’s again minimal effort but smooth hands with nicely shaped nails go a long way.
posted by koahiatamadl at 8:42 AM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
I have a similar coloring to yours and am very finicky about my makeup (I love Dark Honey lipstick as well!) and here are a few products I’ve been buying on repeat for years:
Glossier’s Boy Brow in brown is an easy brow tint to try out—it’s inexpensive enough that if you dislike you don’t feel it’s a waste.
Benefit Hoola bronzer in natural brown. I am very fair so I use one very light sweep over my cheekbones, forehead, nose, and chin. I’ve been using this product for something like 15 years now?!
Oribe Royal Blowout hair styling spray is one of the few hair products I’ve been willing to spend money on other than shampoo and conditioner. It gives lift and shape to my fine hair without adding rough texture or stickiness or taking away shine. If I know I’m going to blow dry my hair, I put a few sprays of it in after I’ve combed through my wet hair.
Adding perfume is a very quick way to take me from feeling shlubby to put together.
posted by sallybrown at 8:47 AM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
Glossier’s Boy Brow in brown is an easy brow tint to try out—it’s inexpensive enough that if you dislike you don’t feel it’s a waste.
Benefit Hoola bronzer in natural brown. I am very fair so I use one very light sweep over my cheekbones, forehead, nose, and chin. I’ve been using this product for something like 15 years now?!
Oribe Royal Blowout hair styling spray is one of the few hair products I’ve been willing to spend money on other than shampoo and conditioner. It gives lift and shape to my fine hair without adding rough texture or stickiness or taking away shine. If I know I’m going to blow dry my hair, I put a few sprays of it in after I’ve combed through my wet hair.
Adding perfume is a very quick way to take me from feeling shlubby to put together.
posted by sallybrown at 8:47 AM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
A nice hair masque or deep conditioning once every 3 weeks or so
Filing and buffing the nails while watching TV
A face mask every so often, maybe once a month?
When I’m feeling depressed and low energy, and I don’t think I can go anywhere or do much but I don’t want to just lie in bed surfing the internet and feeling worse, I will sometimes play with makeup techniques because it’s fun. I’m not sure what your budget is, but lots of cosmetic companies sell little kits to play with techniques like contouring, brow techniques, smoky eyeshadow kits, etc. A few YouTube tutorials and a little mirror time to play around is a nice idle activity that’s distracting, not too tiring, and a fun confidence booster. Even if you just wipe it all off to go to bed. Maybe it’s weird, but it has worked for me when I’ve been going through a particularly rough patch of depression. And I get a bit more confident in my makeup technique for regular life from it!
posted by pazazygeek at 9:08 AM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
Filing and buffing the nails while watching TV
A face mask every so often, maybe once a month?
When I’m feeling depressed and low energy, and I don’t think I can go anywhere or do much but I don’t want to just lie in bed surfing the internet and feeling worse, I will sometimes play with makeup techniques because it’s fun. I’m not sure what your budget is, but lots of cosmetic companies sell little kits to play with techniques like contouring, brow techniques, smoky eyeshadow kits, etc. A few YouTube tutorials and a little mirror time to play around is a nice idle activity that’s distracting, not too tiring, and a fun confidence booster. Even if you just wipe it all off to go to bed. Maybe it’s weird, but it has worked for me when I’ve been going through a particularly rough patch of depression. And I get a bit more confident in my makeup technique for regular life from it!
posted by pazazygeek at 9:08 AM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
If you have a little money for this, Benefit Gimme Brow+ is the best low-effort brow product I've found - a tint that stays all day long, gym included, and as easy as two swipes of the wand through your brows (plus maybe run your finger under and over them if you missed the brow itself). It's often the only thing I use on my days off and enough by itself to make me look put together. The Christmas special mini version should be available now, a more affordable way to try it for a few months.
posted by I claim sanctuary at 9:50 AM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by I claim sanctuary at 9:50 AM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
Aside from eyebrows, nails can also be a low effort, high impact thing. Shape your nails neatly and slap on some clear varnish, such that it doesn't matter if it chips. I find some go-to accessories helpful. For me, that's stud earrings and scarves. If you wear glasses at all, it's worth getting a great pair of frames, they can make such a difference and really once they're bought they are no effort whatsoever..
posted by plonkee at 10:13 AM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by plonkee at 10:13 AM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
Ahh womanhood -- where the work required for even baseline social acceptability is exhausting. Yay patriarchy!
It sounds like bullshit but the foundation of good makeup is skincare. Keeping it super simple, you can add CeraVe face wash to your shower. (If you don't know what to buy, as you get into or expand skincare steps, go with CeraVe brand everything, it's high quality for low drugstore money!) Add a daytime moisturizer with SPF each morning. If you wear foundation or tinted moisturizer or BB/CC cream, you can use an inexpensive primer with SPF and you'll be all set.
I agree about brows framing your face. Glossier Boy Brow is nice but elf's Brow Wow is 90% of the same product for 20% of the price. It's also really hard to fuck up. I use it daily because my eyebrows are fucking going GREY and I can't manage the upkeep on dying them. When I do manage to get in to get them waxed, I do add a brow dye (dark brown) and an eyelash dye (black). It adds about 10 minutes and very little money to the appointment, so it is worth considering!
posted by DarlingBri at 10:59 AM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
It sounds like bullshit but the foundation of good makeup is skincare. Keeping it super simple, you can add CeraVe face wash to your shower. (If you don't know what to buy, as you get into or expand skincare steps, go with CeraVe brand everything, it's high quality for low drugstore money!) Add a daytime moisturizer with SPF each morning. If you wear foundation or tinted moisturizer or BB/CC cream, you can use an inexpensive primer with SPF and you'll be all set.
I agree about brows framing your face. Glossier Boy Brow is nice but elf's Brow Wow is 90% of the same product for 20% of the price. It's also really hard to fuck up. I use it daily because my eyebrows are fucking going GREY and I can't manage the upkeep on dying them. When I do manage to get in to get them waxed, I do add a brow dye (dark brown) and an eyelash dye (black). It adds about 10 minutes and very little money to the appointment, so it is worth considering!
posted by DarlingBri at 10:59 AM on November 23, 2019 [4 favorites]
- rhassoul clay or honey face mask every weekend
- save your coffee grounds and use em to exfoliate your body (so goooood...so messy..)
- def. look into The ordinary (like a vitamin c serum) for some heavy hitters for your skin with decent prices! Also Pixie's glow tonic is the bomb! But with actives, start slow - like once or twice a week to see how your skin reacts
- dry oils (brands like Cattier, Nuxe) for hair/skin will change your life
posted by speakeasy at 11:17 AM on November 23, 2019
- save your coffee grounds and use em to exfoliate your body (so goooood...so messy..)
- def. look into The ordinary (like a vitamin c serum) for some heavy hitters for your skin with decent prices! Also Pixie's glow tonic is the bomb! But with actives, start slow - like once or twice a week to see how your skin reacts
- dry oils (brands like Cattier, Nuxe) for hair/skin will change your life
posted by speakeasy at 11:17 AM on November 23, 2019
I am super lazy. So lazy that I don't usually bother to wash my face at night before I go to bed (I know!). Micellar water changed that. Just dampen a cotton ball or whatever and swipe it over your face. Makeup/dirt/grime gone! It's like magic. I follow it up with a spray of Mario Badescu Facial Spray with Aloe Herbs and Rosewater which is a great light moisturizer/refresher spray and I'm done!
posted by Weeping_angel at 11:23 AM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Weeping_angel at 11:23 AM on November 23, 2019 [1 favorite]
Are you a morning shower person or an evening shower person? If you're amenable to showering at night and already headed in a Curly Girl direction with your hair, I found putting it up in a bonnet (or t-shirt, honestly) overnight after washing or conditioning was both a big convenience and an improvement in how it looked in the morning — drying in a confined space, rather than air-drying or drying all over my pillow, meant less frizz.
The internet calls this "plopping," since apparently "no-poo" wasn't enough and hair-care dogmas all need to have the grossest names possible.
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:14 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
The internet calls this "plopping," since apparently "no-poo" wasn't enough and hair-care dogmas all need to have the grossest names possible.
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:14 PM on November 23, 2019 [2 favorites]
I use this sheet mask almost every morning. Who has time to do a mask every day, you say? I do, and I’d venture that most people do, if they only knew my trick. After washing my face, I put on one of these (squeezing out excess serum as I take it out of the package), lock it onto my face with this silicone cover, and go about my morning routine. While I make breakfast, my skin is busy getting beautiful and plump and hydrated without me expending any cognitive effort. No need to wash off the mask, either. After twenty minutes, I just take it off, slap on my sunscreen, and glow!
This makes a huge difference. I have pitted acne scars and massive sleep debt (thanks, nine month old baby), but I still get compliments on my skin. The extra hydration makes my skin look super healthy, and I end up wearing less makeup because my skin doesn’t need it. It’s also dead easy, takes maybe a minute, and is just a matter of hooking a new habit (putting on the mask) onto an old one (washing your face).
If you do this, some tips: Do reuse masks. I usually get three uses out of one sheet mask by squeezing out excess serum before using it and putting it back in the serum for the next use. Don’t worry about getting super expensive sheet masks. I’ve used the SK-II and Dr. Jart masks, and the result isn’t different enough to warrant the price, especially not for daily use. Do have a backup sheet mask cover on hand because they sometimes break suddenly (I mean the silicone tears after six months or so, at least with my usage) and it sucks to be without.
posted by saltypup at 11:48 PM on November 23, 2019 [5 favorites]
This makes a huge difference. I have pitted acne scars and massive sleep debt (thanks, nine month old baby), but I still get compliments on my skin. The extra hydration makes my skin look super healthy, and I end up wearing less makeup because my skin doesn’t need it. It’s also dead easy, takes maybe a minute, and is just a matter of hooking a new habit (putting on the mask) onto an old one (washing your face).
If you do this, some tips: Do reuse masks. I usually get three uses out of one sheet mask by squeezing out excess serum before using it and putting it back in the serum for the next use. Don’t worry about getting super expensive sheet masks. I’ve used the SK-II and Dr. Jart masks, and the result isn’t different enough to warrant the price, especially not for daily use. Do have a backup sheet mask cover on hand because they sometimes break suddenly (I mean the silicone tears after six months or so, at least with my usage) and it sucks to be without.
posted by saltypup at 11:48 PM on November 23, 2019 [5 favorites]
Nails. I keep a manicure kit, cuticle oil, and hand cream at my desk at work, and by the tv at home. I can file, buff, and moisturize whenever I need to. I enjoy painting my nails on the weekends. I like how the dark colors look on me. And it forces me to sit still and veg out without guilt for a half an hour or so a week. Normally I'd still be vegging out, but feeling guilty the whole time. Having wet nail polish somehow let's me absolve myself of the guilt of not doing housework.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 6:40 PM on November 24, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 6:40 PM on November 24, 2019 [3 favorites]
I'm a very lazy middle-aged woman (who is also frugal) and here are my tricks:
Once a week, I trim my nails short and add one coat of a sheer shimmer nail polish (Sally Hansen's Diamond Strength in Aisle Be There is a fave.) It dries super quickly, the shimmer makes me feel pretty when it catches the light and chips are as good as invisible.
I also love Clinique's Almost Lipstick in Black Honey and am always hunting for a drug store dupe. It's not perfect, but Wet n Wild's Liquid Catsuit High Shine Lipstick in 978A (Devil's Advocate) is my current go-to. It's a dark red liquid lipstick, but it's a moisturizing formula, not matte. I put just a little bit along my lower lip, sheer it out by rubbing my lips together and it looks great. It doesn't last, but I don't mind reapplying.
For brows, I also love Wet n' Wild's Ultimate Brow Pencil. They have one that's super skinny like the Anastasia Brow Wiz (which is great if that's your preference) but I like the one with the chisel tip (like a calligraphy pen). Turned one way it fills in the front of my brows quickly and turned the other it makes a nice thin line for the end of my brows. The formula is the perfect mix of dry and creamy and it comes in four colors.
posted by not.so.hip at 4:54 PM on November 26, 2019
Once a week, I trim my nails short and add one coat of a sheer shimmer nail polish (Sally Hansen's Diamond Strength in Aisle Be There is a fave.) It dries super quickly, the shimmer makes me feel pretty when it catches the light and chips are as good as invisible.
I also love Clinique's Almost Lipstick in Black Honey and am always hunting for a drug store dupe. It's not perfect, but Wet n Wild's Liquid Catsuit High Shine Lipstick in 978A (Devil's Advocate) is my current go-to. It's a dark red liquid lipstick, but it's a moisturizing formula, not matte. I put just a little bit along my lower lip, sheer it out by rubbing my lips together and it looks great. It doesn't last, but I don't mind reapplying.
For brows, I also love Wet n' Wild's Ultimate Brow Pencil. They have one that's super skinny like the Anastasia Brow Wiz (which is great if that's your preference) but I like the one with the chisel tip (like a calligraphy pen). Turned one way it fills in the front of my brows quickly and turned the other it makes a nice thin line for the end of my brows. The formula is the perfect mix of dry and creamy and it comes in four colors.
posted by not.so.hip at 4:54 PM on November 26, 2019
Brows like others recommended, CeraVe everything, etc.
But my number one rec is actually a shimmery dark taupe eye shadow. I like Urban Decay’s YDK or L’Oreal’s Infallible in Bronzed Taupe. Brush on to mobile lid and in crease, and blend up and out. Takes like 10 seconds and brightens eyes and gives some polish, without looking made up. That kind of color should look nice on most skin tones. Some shade of gold is another thing to try. The shimmer is important. This does more for me than eyeliner does, but if liner is what makes you happy, keep with it!
I’m disabled and really just can’t handle spending a lot of time standing up in the bathroom before I go anywhere. What I do most of the time is that eyeshadow, a brow something, very light pink blusher because I’m a corpse, mascara, some kind of lip something. Foundation and/or liner only if it’s a good day and I don’t mind spending a few more minutes on my feet.
Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmer in Fig is usually the go-to rec for a Black Honey dupe, but it is slightly warmer and a bit frosty and won’t be adequate for some people.
posted by verbminx at 7:18 PM on November 28, 2019
But my number one rec is actually a shimmery dark taupe eye shadow. I like Urban Decay’s YDK or L’Oreal’s Infallible in Bronzed Taupe. Brush on to mobile lid and in crease, and blend up and out. Takes like 10 seconds and brightens eyes and gives some polish, without looking made up. That kind of color should look nice on most skin tones. Some shade of gold is another thing to try. The shimmer is important. This does more for me than eyeliner does, but if liner is what makes you happy, keep with it!
I’m disabled and really just can’t handle spending a lot of time standing up in the bathroom before I go anywhere. What I do most of the time is that eyeshadow, a brow something, very light pink blusher because I’m a corpse, mascara, some kind of lip something. Foundation and/or liner only if it’s a good day and I don’t mind spending a few more minutes on my feet.
Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmer in Fig is usually the go-to rec for a Black Honey dupe, but it is slightly warmer and a bit frosty and won’t be adequate for some people.
posted by verbminx at 7:18 PM on November 28, 2019
I like your train of thought - this is pretty much exactly how I am re: beauty. And perfect list of things that do the heavy lifting so you don't have to, especially the Babyfoot peel. That stuff is such a godsend. Does stuff that no pedicure can.
It's a good list already but I'd add:
Night cream - does it have AHA/BHAs or even a bit of retinol to fade dark spots and other imperfections while you sleep? If not, I'd consider adding one in that does, especially if you'd like to improve skin tone and texture. These really don't have to be pricey at all - I use Reviva Labs 10% glycolic at night and it moisturizes well and speeds up healing the occasional pimple spot.
Night lash/brow serum - this is one I'm a huge fan of since I think long lashes and full brows does more for one's face than any makeup can. I used to pay ridiculous amounts for regular eyelash extensions so I didn't have to do eye makeup everyday but I have a go to lash serum now so I don't bother. At all. Just dab some on my lash and brow line at night and I am good to go.
I use GrandeLash which works really well, apparently because it has a similar active ingredient to Latisse. It grew my eyelashes to crazy levels although my eyebrows are lagging (they seem fuller though). Just be careful which eyelash serum you get because some aren't effective and the ones that are can have side effects.
Tinted sunscreen - As I said, I'm pretty basic b*tch when it comes to makeup - I believe strongly in just the basics: clean skin, long lashes and a solid brow line. So one thing I don't skip is a good tinted sunscreen. My favorite for the winter is Andalou Naturals 1000 roses CC. It's very, very moisturizing and provides good coverage - not enough to look cake-y. Just enough to look dewy.
posted by cupcakemonster at 3:27 AM on January 13, 2020
It's a good list already but I'd add:
Night cream - does it have AHA/BHAs or even a bit of retinol to fade dark spots and other imperfections while you sleep? If not, I'd consider adding one in that does, especially if you'd like to improve skin tone and texture. These really don't have to be pricey at all - I use Reviva Labs 10% glycolic at night and it moisturizes well and speeds up healing the occasional pimple spot.
Night lash/brow serum - this is one I'm a huge fan of since I think long lashes and full brows does more for one's face than any makeup can. I used to pay ridiculous amounts for regular eyelash extensions so I didn't have to do eye makeup everyday but I have a go to lash serum now so I don't bother. At all. Just dab some on my lash and brow line at night and I am good to go.
I use GrandeLash which works really well, apparently because it has a similar active ingredient to Latisse. It grew my eyelashes to crazy levels although my eyebrows are lagging (they seem fuller though). Just be careful which eyelash serum you get because some aren't effective and the ones that are can have side effects.
Tinted sunscreen - As I said, I'm pretty basic b*tch when it comes to makeup - I believe strongly in just the basics: clean skin, long lashes and a solid brow line. So one thing I don't skip is a good tinted sunscreen. My favorite for the winter is Andalou Naturals 1000 roses CC. It's very, very moisturizing and provides good coverage - not enough to look cake-y. Just enough to look dewy.
posted by cupcakemonster at 3:27 AM on January 13, 2020
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posted by KleenexMakesaVeryGoodHat at 8:17 AM on November 23, 2019 [8 favorites]