Queer Dating in Brooklyn?

November 14, 2019 4:33 PM

I'm doing the OK Cupid thing, but meeting people in person seems like it would save me a lot of messaging only to end up with "oh we have no chemistry." If I'm a genderqueer woman looking to meet other women to maybe date, are there still physical places where I can do this? Or are internet dating, social hobbies, and friends-of-friends really my only good options?

I'm good at talking to friendly strangers, so that part I'm not worried about. I drink, so bars are fine, although I'd prefer to be able to hear the other person. Money's tight, so options that are accessible for $20 or less would be great. I'm closer to 40 than 30.

My understanding is that there aren't any decent lesbian bars left in the city , but I would be happy to be wrong about this.

I'm aware of the "Submit" kink event, and planning to go again eventually, but that's more of a hookup/play space than a meeting-people-to-date space.

posted by Sometimes you need a little space to Human Relations (5 answers total)

This isn’t specific to your location but are you open to speed dating? It’s maybe not hip but it’s pretty much between dating apps and flirting at bars. Sounds like it could be up your alley, you get to briefly meet and judge chemistry with people who are also there to meet up.
/Brooklyn speed dating lesbian/ returns a few promising hits on Google.
posted by SaltySalticid at 6:18 PM on November 14, 2019

Best answer: In my circle, it feels like there's a lot of POC-centered (but white people welcome) queer and/or kink events in NYC. In the past few years, they're mostly accessible through Instagram and Eventbrite, and the ones that my friends go to that are femme/women seem to be sometimes shared only via Instagram stories. It's rare to see these events on Facebook, and even rarely just visible via a Google search or Yelp, etc. The age range often seems to be people in their late 20s/early 30s, btw.

So - I'd recommend looking around on Instagram and following people until you find events.
posted by suedehead at 9:04 PM on November 14, 2019

Are there any queer Meetup groups that hold events near you?
posted by ellieBOA at 9:29 PM on November 14, 2019

Best answer: I know you're not looking for more apps, but Lex (previously on metafilter) is specifically for queer women and non-binary people, has just launched, and is really popping, with loads of new ads being placed every day at the moment. From what I've seen there's plenty of people on there that would fit what you're looking for.
posted by Balthamos at 2:04 AM on November 15, 2019 [3 favorites]

Best answer: Ginger’s, Mood Ring (also Cubbyhole and Henrietta Hudson but in Manhattan)
MeMe’s Diner, Sisters
Feminist bookstores
Community center
Meetups, parties/nightlife (Hot Rabbit, Gush, a bunch more), events - book/film clubs, board games
Volunteering/organizing
Queer Soup Night?
Climbing?
See this comprehensive list and a few more spaces — a lot you can find online
posted by eyeball at 9:23 AM on November 16, 2019