Roommate leaving, best practices
November 14, 2019 1:52 PM Subscribe
It looks like my roommate might be moving to another city (from Brooklyn, NY) halfway through our one-year lease, while I'm staying in the apartment, under non-dramatic circumstances. Before things move further, I'd like to get a sense of best practices on handling this, as well as what reasonable expectations on my part would be.
Basically I have been lucky enough that this situation has never happened to me before -- I've always had platonic roommates as an adult, but the end of the rooming situation has always neatly coincided with the end of the lease. Relevant logistical information that I can think of:
- Both listed jointly as tenants on the one-year lease for a non-rent-stabilized/controlled apartment, for last July to this coming July. If Current Roommate leaves, it'd be in early 2020, for a new job in another US city. We split rent and utilities 50/50.
- Current Roommate and I haven't had any major conflicts and are good friends, which I'd like to maintain if at all possible.
- There's no way I can afford this apartment on my own, but I want to stay (at least through the end of the lease in summer 2020) so this will mean getting another roommate. Among my friends/social circle there are no real platonic roommate possibilities, meaning I will have to go outside that. I am totally open to all of this and indeed realize it is the only reasonable solution.
- I am also on good terms with the landlord (private owner, no rent increases at renewals, very fast at repairs/fixing problems) and so do not want to do anything shady.
Specific questions follow, but mainly I'm trying to get a sense of how best to handle this and also what my reasonable expectations in terms of behavior (for both me and for Current Roommate) should be.
- Who should be in charge of finding the replacement roommate and what would be the best way to go about this, including how to balance my potential preference over new roommates vs. being unreasonable about vetoing replacements? I want to note that if had we been at the end of the lease, I would say it's all definitely on me -- lease is over, roommate has declined to renew as is his right, it's on me to find a replacement. But this feels different because we're halfway through the lease, and I don't want to break it and am also not the one causing the change in situation.
- When/how to tell landlord, maybe what to expect from them? If it's even an option is it preferable to sign a new lease or enter some sort of subtenancy agreement?
- Any other relevant advice
Basically I have been lucky enough that this situation has never happened to me before -- I've always had platonic roommates as an adult, but the end of the rooming situation has always neatly coincided with the end of the lease. Relevant logistical information that I can think of:
- Both listed jointly as tenants on the one-year lease for a non-rent-stabilized/controlled apartment, for last July to this coming July. If Current Roommate leaves, it'd be in early 2020, for a new job in another US city. We split rent and utilities 50/50.
- Current Roommate and I haven't had any major conflicts and are good friends, which I'd like to maintain if at all possible.
- There's no way I can afford this apartment on my own, but I want to stay (at least through the end of the lease in summer 2020) so this will mean getting another roommate. Among my friends/social circle there are no real platonic roommate possibilities, meaning I will have to go outside that. I am totally open to all of this and indeed realize it is the only reasonable solution.
- I am also on good terms with the landlord (private owner, no rent increases at renewals, very fast at repairs/fixing problems) and so do not want to do anything shady.
Specific questions follow, but mainly I'm trying to get a sense of how best to handle this and also what my reasonable expectations in terms of behavior (for both me and for Current Roommate) should be.
- Who should be in charge of finding the replacement roommate and what would be the best way to go about this, including how to balance my potential preference over new roommates vs. being unreasonable about vetoing replacements? I want to note that if had we been at the end of the lease, I would say it's all definitely on me -- lease is over, roommate has declined to renew as is his right, it's on me to find a replacement. But this feels different because we're halfway through the lease, and I don't want to break it and am also not the one causing the change in situation.
- When/how to tell landlord, maybe what to expect from them? If it's even an option is it preferable to sign a new lease or enter some sort of subtenancy agreement?
- Any other relevant advice
Having been in this situation many times, the staying roommate being charge of finding a new roommate is the only scenario that really makes any sense. I guess I can see an argument where it is more "fair" for the departing roommate to do this work, but it seems really shortsighted to me. It's a pain finding a new roommate, but you really do want to be the person to decide who is going to live with you. A scenario where you make your departing roommate do the search but you have some kind of veto power would be a very easy way to completely sour your relationship with this person you consider a good friend.
posted by cakelite at 2:09 PM on November 14, 2019 [14 favorites]
posted by cakelite at 2:09 PM on November 14, 2019 [14 favorites]
I will grant that I've got a good relationship with my landlord and that may be coloring things, but in my opinion you're way overthinking the lease situation. Here is what i would do.
* Reach out to the landlord and ask what it would take to get the lease done up in just your name. (You're just asking questions right now out of curiosity.) If your'e not comfortable with what he says, then just hold off for now.
* You should take the lead on finding a new roommate, but your roommate should help spread the word.
* Unless the roommate who's leaving is leaving, like, next Tuesday, I wouldn't put them on the hook for any part of the rent - the most I'd ask them to do is cover for a month, if they're leaving in less than a month. Usually it takes a month to find a new roommate (in my experience, and I"ve done that a lot), so if they're leaving in only a couple weeks you'll need at least a month to find someone. But if you know now that the roommate is leaving in February, then that gives you time to find someone new.
* You should be able to just get the landlord to take your roommate's name off the lease and have it just be in your name. Then the new roommate is a subletter to you - and they pay you the money and you write the check to your landlord. That is what I have been doing for about 20 years as a renter with roommates in New York.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:14 PM on November 14, 2019 [3 favorites]
* Reach out to the landlord and ask what it would take to get the lease done up in just your name. (You're just asking questions right now out of curiosity.) If your'e not comfortable with what he says, then just hold off for now.
* You should take the lead on finding a new roommate, but your roommate should help spread the word.
* Unless the roommate who's leaving is leaving, like, next Tuesday, I wouldn't put them on the hook for any part of the rent - the most I'd ask them to do is cover for a month, if they're leaving in less than a month. Usually it takes a month to find a new roommate (in my experience, and I"ve done that a lot), so if they're leaving in only a couple weeks you'll need at least a month to find someone. But if you know now that the roommate is leaving in February, then that gives you time to find someone new.
* You should be able to just get the landlord to take your roommate's name off the lease and have it just be in your name. Then the new roommate is a subletter to you - and they pay you the money and you write the check to your landlord. That is what I have been doing for about 20 years as a renter with roommates in New York.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:14 PM on November 14, 2019 [3 favorites]
Unless the roommate who's leaving is leaving, like, next Tuesday, I wouldn't put them on the hook for any part of the rent
Whoa there. If this person is on the lease also, it is also their responsibility. Most likely your lease has a "joint and several liability" clause, which means the landlord can come after any one of you individually for all of the rent. But in ethical terms I think your roommate bears responsibility for their share of the rent until a replacement is found. After all, you entered into the lease, which is a binding legal contract, with the expectation that they were going to pay their share. No way should you be on the hook financially when they are the one breaking the contract.
I think you paying utilities and your roommate paying their half of the rent until you get a new roommate is a reasonable solution. And I agree that you should probably be the one to coordinate the search.
posted by number9dream at 2:21 PM on November 14, 2019 [13 favorites]
Whoa there. If this person is on the lease also, it is also their responsibility. Most likely your lease has a "joint and several liability" clause, which means the landlord can come after any one of you individually for all of the rent. But in ethical terms I think your roommate bears responsibility for their share of the rent until a replacement is found. After all, you entered into the lease, which is a binding legal contract, with the expectation that they were going to pay their share. No way should you be on the hook financially when they are the one breaking the contract.
I think you paying utilities and your roommate paying their half of the rent until you get a new roommate is a reasonable solution. And I agree that you should probably be the one to coordinate the search.
posted by number9dream at 2:21 PM on November 14, 2019 [13 favorites]
My sense of the justice of it is that the leaving roommate should keep paying rent until you find a new roommate. Because you're a decent person, you should actively look for a new roommate to let the leaving roommate off the hook. Because the leaving roommate doesn't want to keep paying rent, they should also look for a new roommate in case you can't find one immediately, and while you should be able to veto their candidates because you're the one who will have to live with them, you are responsible as a decent person for accepting any reasonable possibility so as to let the leaving roommate off the hook.
posted by LizardBreath at 2:36 PM on November 14, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by LizardBreath at 2:36 PM on November 14, 2019 [4 favorites]
I've always done the legwork in finding a replacement roommate when moving out, motivated by the understanding that I'd be on the hook for rent until a replacement moved in and signed the lease. Usually the remaining roommate would choose from the pool of interested people I showed around.
Strange to me to consider a scenario in which my roommate would have to take on the burden of finding a replacement when I was the one breaking the lease?
posted by shaademaan at 3:16 PM on November 14, 2019 [2 favorites]
Strange to me to consider a scenario in which my roommate would have to take on the burden of finding a replacement when I was the one breaking the lease?
posted by shaademaan at 3:16 PM on November 14, 2019 [2 favorites]
Agree with Shaademaan - in my experience the leaving person is creating a problem and therefore they are responsible for finding a replacement and paying rent until they do. Remaining roommates want to get a great new roommate, so they normally help with finding a replacement, but the burden isn't on them.
In my [competitive rental market] the way this normally plays out is the staying roommate/s set an open house time (with varying levels of email screening) and then all parties promote it. You get a number of folks to show up and the staying roommate/s pick from the attendees.
There's probably legal loopholes and ways to exploit it, but when everyone's on good terms it seems to work perfectly fine.
posted by matrixclown at 6:03 PM on November 14, 2019 [1 favorite]
In my [competitive rental market] the way this normally plays out is the staying roommate/s set an open house time (with varying levels of email screening) and then all parties promote it. You get a number of folks to show up and the staying roommate/s pick from the attendees.
There's probably legal loopholes and ways to exploit it, but when everyone's on good terms it seems to work perfectly fine.
posted by matrixclown at 6:03 PM on November 14, 2019 [1 favorite]
Tell the landlord right away to find out what requirements they might have. They might say that the new person will need to do through their credit screening.
In my opinion he should do whatever legwork he can (posting an ad) and then you can meet the top 2 or 3 candidates to make the final decision.
posted by salvia at 6:18 PM on November 14, 2019
In my opinion he should do whatever legwork he can (posting an ad) and then you can meet the top 2 or 3 candidates to make the final decision.
posted by salvia at 6:18 PM on November 14, 2019
Good advice above, and I would add that you might ask the landlord if they would be willing to draw up a new one-year lease for you and your new roommate once you have found them. Otherwise your lease would run out no more than 5 months from the time they move in, which could hamper your search for a new roomie. Good luck!
posted by summerstorm at 6:45 PM on November 14, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by summerstorm at 6:45 PM on November 14, 2019 [1 favorite]
I agree in principle with everyone who says the departing roommate should continue to pay rent until a replacement is found, and put in at least as much work as you in finding them... but in practice, as a 13 year NYC renter, I 100% agree with EmpressCallipygos.
posted by STFUDonnie at 6:56 PM on November 14, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by STFUDonnie at 6:56 PM on November 14, 2019 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
- you pick up the utilities
- the current roommate continues to pay their half of the rent until a new roommate is found
- you seek out a new roommate (seeing as you have to live with this individual)
Presumably a job good enough to move for is also good enough to warrant paying a few months of extra rent for, on their side.
posted by whisk(e)y neat at 1:58 PM on November 14, 2019 [5 favorites]