Dog breeds for older parents?

August 26, 2019 2:00 PM

Help me narrow down dog breeds for my parents.

My parents are in their late sixties, healthy, highly mobile, conscientious.

Currently they have a "social," energetic, needy cat. The cat always needs to be in the same room as my parents, but she just kind of hangs out. She won't play or cuddle.

They had a dog that was, I don't know 40-60 pounds? Mostly a beagle? As she got older and still wanted to follow my mom everywhere, it was harder for her to climb stairs, and too heavy for my parents to carry her more than a couple times per day, so it was challenging to meet her emotional needs in my parents' two-story house. Also, she needed decently long walks which is dangerous for my parents in the icy winter. My mom fell on the ice at least once every winter, and historically has always been basically fine, but yikes.

My parents dote on the cat, though they wish she had a different personality, and they'd give her up to a friendly/loving home that would never let her outside, wouldn't declaw her, and would only give her up to another friendly/loving home.

So, they're curious about another dog, either with or without the cat.

So, a dog, ideally:

1. Would get enough exercise playing fetch in the narrow but house-length backyard. Walks when not icy.
2. Both my parents are home or work from home enough that the dog doesn't need a big bladder; they could let it out probably at least three times per day if not 4-5. Parents are non-finicky and would deal with in-house pee-pads if that's a humane thing for a dog to use.
3. They travel by plane every 2-4 months to visit kids/grandkids, and in an ideal world they'd bring the dog on the plane, underseat, because kennels are traumatizing, even an apparently really nice one really traumatized their last dog, they don't want to leave a dog alone with just a walker, and away-dogsitting with friends/family is hard to do so often.

What breeds are friendly, small, non-energetic, non-yappy, low exercise needs, low-traumatizable (can handle strange experiences like airplanes), low-suffering (if that makes sense, like facial structure), won't get hurt by a fully-clawed, moderately-territorial cat (semi-optional), intelligent but not so intelligent that it's hard to meet all her social/emotional/stimulation needs? My dad plays with the cat every day, even twice a day, even though it takes ten minutes of attention for the cat to decide it's willing to play. My mom likes that the cat follows her around, but wouldn't mind if she didn't, and wishes that the cat would actually interact with her more instead of just following her around.

I keep hearing about the breed Bichon? Does that breed fit these criteria? Girl or boy? What starting age? What other breeds might work? I *think* a puppy would be too much work, though they have raised/trained a puppy in the distant past. Their last dog was an already-trained shelter dog.

posted by zeek321 to Pets & Animals (20 answers total)

My mother has a Yorkie and they're inseparable. The little doggo travels well (by car or plane), takes up a small footprint, and gets along with pretty much everyone. They have other dogs, too (dad is a big-dog person), but when they hit the road, the others stay with family or get dog-sat. Yorkie holds her own against - yes - a Great Pyrenees. She plays, runs around, but is mostly a lap dog.
posted by jquinby at 2:07 PM on August 26, 2019

Bichon was actually my first thought before I read what you said. One other thing to consider is whether they would prioritize lack of shedding or lack of expensive grooming needs. Yorkies (above), Bichons, and many other breeds you might consider will need frequent pro grooming to keep their coats in shape since they grow continuously.
posted by karbonokapi at 2:18 PM on August 26, 2019

I can't suggest a specific breed, but perhaps I can help narrow it down a bit. You're looking for a small (sub-15#) dog without a smooshed-in face as many airlines will not allow pugs and the like to fly because of their breathing issues. If you decide on a specific breed rather than adopting a mixed-breed animal from a shelter, you might look into retired show dogs. If they've been shown for conformation, they will be trained and generally have a calmer demeanor. Many have also already traveled by plane as well, so they could truly be a turn-key dog for your parents.
posted by DrGail at 2:19 PM on August 26, 2019

I would definitely recommend an adult shelter dog. Not just because it's a good thing to do (though it is) but because the shelter will have *some* idea of the dog's personality, aside from what's expected (far from guaranteed) from the breed. Most can tell you whether they will lose their shit with cats around or not. With a puppy even adult size isn't guaranteed, to say nothing of adult personality. My (dearly departed) mostly-Jack-Russell would be perfect, but many other JRTs wouldn't be, for example. If they can find one that's been living with a foster family, so much the better-- shelter personality can be different from home-life personality.

In short-- find a situation where they can evaluate individual first; good shelters are great for this.
posted by supercres at 2:20 PM on August 26, 2019 [6 favorites]

I'd want to suggest an Italian Greyhound as they are low maintenance, taller than most toy dogs so harder for older people to trip over as easier to see, but their build means they are light so easy to pick up if needed. Like most greyhounds are happy to sleep most of the day & stay indoors where it's warm in winter & need surprisingly little exercise and that in a short burst & playtime in a back yard is usually plenty of exercise for them. They have super short hair so no groomer needed & you also get the added fun of all their winter outfits to keep them snug. The only hitch might be the cat as they tend to go have a bit of a prey drive, but they can live happily with cats so that would depend on the dog and they need special collars because of their long necks & narrow heads normal ones can slide off. They can be a bit timid so if they're flying with it make sure they can take it in the cabin with them would be my suggestion.

As others have said I'd maybe look at a rescue for an older dog so they don't have the hassle of toilet training & also you can get more of an idea of personality than from a puppy.

Bichon are lovely dogs with playful personalities, but they really do need a walk every day. I've owned a Maltese they have lovely personalities and don't really need walks though do like them, they do need regular trips to the groomers though, I kept mine clipped short most of her life as they need daily brushing otherwise. But lovely bright personalities and very loving dogs.
posted by wwax at 2:36 PM on August 26, 2019

I have adopted 3 adult dogs from shelters. 1. Collie-golden retriever mix. Excellent dog, smart, personable, still missed. 2. Jack Russell Terrier. Current pupper, great dog, smart, not actually hyper, everyone likes him, he is mildly aggressive with other dogs, quite manageable. 3. Hound from an abusive home, had been severely malnourished. Good-natured, brain-damaged, multiple health problems. Get a good history.

Visit shelters. I brought current pupper from a shelter in the South when I was on a trip. Best souvenir ever. I had to choose the little guy because my airline only allowed dogs in the cabin, under the seat in front. The country, esp. the South, is full of kill shelters, and many of the dogs are lovely. Pit bulls proliferate under many names, way too strong for me (60s, arthritic)

If you must buy a dog, medium size poodles are smart, don't shed, trainable.
posted by theora55 at 2:41 PM on August 26, 2019

Contact a rescue org that fosters and tell them what traits you need. You don't need to go to a breeder, especially if you want a mature dog with a fully-formed personality.
posted by amtho at 2:47 PM on August 26, 2019 [1 favorite]

This really sounds like a "specific dog, not specific breed" situation.
Nthing the suggestion to visit local shelters/rescue groups and see who's available. I come across small, friendly, trainable/already trained, aging-parent-friendly dogs all the time in rescue work. Look for poodle mixes, small spaniels, etc. Encourage your parents to visit several shelters, search online, take time looking for the right fit. Heck, I'd be happy to do some recon work online if you want to memail me your folks' location.

Giving up the cat to have a dog isn't very nice to the cat, and probably isn't necessary, either. Lots of dogs and cats can cohabitate (I write, sitting next to a feisty foster pug and persnickity 13-year-old cat who have beccome very good friends in the past month).
posted by adastra at 3:13 PM on August 26, 2019 [9 favorites]

Small-but-not-yappy, playful-but-not-energetic, tolerates a disrupted/occasionally limited walking schedule, and okay with air travel a few times a year to visit households with children? I feel like this expects a lot of a dog. If your parents already have someone looking in on the cat while they're away, perhaps a second (truly playful and cuddlesome) cat is the answer.
posted by Iris Gambol at 3:26 PM on August 26, 2019 [9 favorites]

I have an elderly friend on her second Bolognese, which is an Italian variety of Bichon. They’re terrific little purse dogs, very adaptable. The first one she used to compete in agility with so it was athletic enough to do that, but then it would just chill in her tote bag at the restaurant. She’s a college professor and brought it to work every day, so obviously not yappy. Thinking of getting one myself.
posted by HotToddy at 3:39 PM on August 26, 2019

Response by poster: This is all very, very helpful! Still watching this thread!
posted by zeek321 at 3:42 PM on August 26, 2019

My Shih Tzu more or less matches your ideal description—cuddly, doesn’t need a ton of exercise, easy to travel with, and gets on fine with my two cats. I adopted him as a senior which has been great; he’s a bit more mellow than younger dogs of the same breed that I’ve met, came house-trained, and it’s a joy to make his golden years happy ones.
posted by nancynickerson at 3:44 PM on August 26, 2019

Seconding ShihTzu, my in-laws have had wonderful luck with them. Easygoing, loving, sturdy. (Shih tzus for show usually have that super-long hair which seems like a hassle, but instead you can keep them groomed in "puppy cut" style - short hair - and it's easy to maintain.)
posted by LobsterMitten at 4:20 PM on August 26, 2019

Speaking of Bichon-types, my havanese mix would NOT meet the criteria as he has tons of energy still at 5 years old. Seconding the idea that you need to know the individual dog in question.
posted by rustcellar at 4:28 PM on August 26, 2019 [1 favorite]

I have cavoodles that sound like they’d meet most of your needs. So far as non traumatisable, generally it depends on how early in a dog’s life they are exposed to air travel or whatever as to how well they cope. If they get used to it as a puppy, it will just be routine. If you get an older dog, you can’t predict if they’ll cope as well with an unknown situation.

I’d say this regardless of breed and situation eg a dog who isn’t brought up with cats may not necessarily get along with one, it comes down to the individual dog. My two have fair amounts of energy but a half hour walk is enough for them that they sleep the rest of the day.
posted by Jubey at 4:53 PM on August 26, 2019

If you’re open to a senior dog, it sounds like you might be able to find one that is a great fit personality- and exercise-wise. Plus, not to be morbid, but tiny dogs can live practically forever so dogs that are labeled “senior” can still have 5+ years of high-quality life ahead of them.

At any rate, definitely, definitely not a puppy, from what you describe.
posted by mosst at 7:19 PM on August 26, 2019

Also, yeah, if my bichon mix is any indication, exercise is a must. He doesn’t seem to need to, like, sprint regularly, but he needs a lot of mental exercise (which he gets through long, slow sniffy walks and thinker toys) or else he quickly goes stir-crazy.
posted by mosst at 7:24 PM on August 26, 2019 [1 favorite]

Since you probably want an older dog (not puppy), I would look for a poodle mix.
posted by metahawk at 10:40 PM on August 26, 2019

My inlaws, now well into their seventies, have adopted adult rescue Westies as long as I've known them. The dogs are affectionate but not needy ('aloof' is what most say), not particularly barky but will alert to unusual things, few medical issues, are fun and will play but not PLAYPLAYPLAYPLAY, and can be left alone for average amounts of time without going crazy.
posted by AzraelBrown at 9:19 AM on August 27, 2019

Since you don't want a puppy, a foster-based rescue is likely your best shot at finding a good fit. They can evaluate a dog's personality in a home setting, which is often very different from how it behaves in the a shelter. If possible you should look for one that's been fostered with cats.

I'd suggest contacting some of the rescues in your area and telling them what kind of personality you're looking for - if they don't have any dogs like that, they'll often put you on a list to contact when a potential match comes in. I would also suggest being flexible about breed. Breed is helpful as a starting point, but for an adult, it's often more reliable to judge them as individuals. Some dogs are much higher- or lower-energy (and etc.) than their breed or breed mix would suggest.
posted by randomnity at 12:24 PM on August 27, 2019