Taming the mechanical dragon's breath
August 18, 2019 9:09 AM   Subscribe

Which non-fascist extreme metal or punk tune would be the best one for me to "sing" on an xlerator hand dryer?

My favorite coffeehouse has an especially powerful xlerator "feel the power-->" hand dryer. I've found that, by using hand gestures in the same general idea as those that theremin players use, I can make scream-y sounds with a vocal formant.

I think that it would be fun to do a hand dryer cover of an actual tune. Which do you think would work?
posted by umbú to Media & Arts (9 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
Know Your Rights, The Clash, timely.
posted by Oyéah at 9:41 AM on August 18, 2019

Mod note: Couple comments removed, let's go ahead and embrace the general concept here of dryercore and just answer the actual question with music suggestions.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:43 AM on August 18, 2019 [13 favorites]

Nazi Punks Fuck Off
posted by zengargoyle at 11:51 AM on August 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

Iron Man. Actually, the entire A side of Paranoid already sounds like somebody bolted a theremin to something nasty with big hair.
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 11:59 AM on August 18, 2019 [3 favorites]

The Ruts - Babylons Burning

posted by humboldt32 at 1:13 PM on August 18, 2019

Oh man, I listen to a lot of extreme metal and I love this idea. Can you do low rumbling sounds, or just higher screetching ones? Like, what's your "vocal" range here? Are you able to "sing" melodies, or just kind of vary the tone appropriately? Also, when you talk about doing a cover, is that including instrumentation, or were you thinking more of "singing" along with a recording? I just want to make sure I have the right idea of what you're after.

Off the top of my head, I'm trying to think of vocals that already sound like a screeching hand dryer. I'm just going to list some bands that I can think offhand, and each band name will be a link to a song -- and maybe if something sounds almost right, I can try to think of one that might fit better. None of the bands I would recommend (or listen to, frankly) are at all fascist, unless other people know something I don't.

If you just want straight-up screaming, brutally extreme metal, Pig Destroyer absolutely rips. Or is that too fast? Something extreme but not as fast could be a band like Lord Mantis, which immediately comes to mind for that "wow, the dryer in that bathroom sure is loud!" quality. If you want to go in more of a sludge metal direction, the guy in Buzzoven sounds like battery acid, which is close enough to a hand dryer that I bet it could work. Brainoil could fit the bill too, although they have some death metal-type vocals to contend with if you can't do lower ranges.

If you want to go in a superfast hardcore/grind direction, something like Nails is pretty extreme. Likewise something like Mind Eraser. Plus, they're short songs! In fact, if you you want to go explicitly anarchist/anti-fascist, something like Terrorizer or Doom (part 2 is faster) would be cool. If you want FAST and antifascist, there's grindcore bands like Magrudergrind (that one takes me back, as a former DC-area teen). Or something anti-fascist, but relatively slower would be a band like Raw Power. And of course the classic anarcho punk band is Amebix, but I'm not sure if they'd work as well for what you're after (but I'm including them just in case).

Oh man! You know what would be awesome -- if you can pull of death metal-ish vocals, a Brujeria cover would totally be amazing -- brutal vocals, totally anti-fascist. Viva Presidente Trump!

If any of these seem totally off the mark, or if any suggestion is a step in the right direction but not quite there, feel free to let me know! I am very eager to help you with this because I believe in your mission haha. Obviously no pressure to follow up, but I'm happy to think of stuff to recommend. I know there's probably a bunch of obvious songs and bands that I'm not thinking of, so my list is sort of idiosyncratic rather than comprehensive.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 3:24 PM on August 18, 2019 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: Thanks all for your responses-- it's always only after seeing everyone else's comments that I realize what I should have clarified.

When I mentioned non-fascist, I wasn't thinking that the lyrics needed to be political. I just didn't want to post something publicly only to realize that the band was nsbm (national socialist black metal) or the like (not that it would be likely for those bands to be suggested on metafilter, now that I think of it).

How to describe what is possible to play on the dryer? Shapes that haunt, I think you're on the right track with sludge metal, because it is more possible to make a mid/high pitched open throated raspy ahhhhhhh than a full on evil falsetto banshee wail or cookie monster vocals. By positioning one hand near the nozzle and the other below, and suddenly pulling the first out of the stream of air, it is actually possible to switch between one pitch and the next quickly and rhythmically. But you can't do a full-on melody. It fits the task that there is a musical instrument where you have to be careful not to burn yourself while playing.

I was thinking of playing the other instruments, and/or getting my friend with better chops to help, and then just xlerate the vocal part.

Now I just have to convince the nice guys at the coffeehouse to let me stay after hours to practice. Or drop $400 on a hand dryer for my own bathroom.
posted by umbú at 5:49 PM on August 18, 2019 [1 favorite]

Sorry for the delay in responding! Other things going on.

One thing that occurred to me is whether you want this to be a cover that a lot of people will recognize as such, or if it's more for your own private amusement. I ask because I think some of the things I recommended are better-known than others -- a band like Brainoil isn't obscure, but I also don't know how popular they are outside Bay Area metal circles. The advantage of something like black metal is that it's a pretty well-known subgenre, the drawback being that so much of the most infamous stuff is the stupid NSBM stuff. Fortunately, there are bands without those negative associations, if that's a direction you might be interested in. Is that worth considering?

If you want to go in a sludge metal direction, I think you could do well with "The Blue" by Acid Bath. That's a classic southern Louisiana sludge metal song, with a distinctive sound and a vocal part that might lend itself well to this. I'd link to it here, but it's actually not available streaming everywhere (not on YouTube or Spotify, to start). I believe it's on Apple Music, and possibly Amazon, though. There are other sludge metal bands out there, the biggest one being Eyehategod, but I don't think they'd work as well.

Always happy to chip in with other suggestions as needed, or if I think of any good ones.
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 7:03 AM on August 20, 2019

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