Youth Groups at Church, what works?
July 31, 2019 1:30 PM Subscribe
How do high school aged people (13-18) interact with your church? Do you have programming for them that has been successful?
I've been asked to work with a senior youth group at my (UU) church starting next year. I've already met with the other leaders and the current teens on a summer retreat. The program meets during services on Sunday and is open ended and fairly unstructured, with a lot of peer discussions.
My impression is that the teens and leaders feel the program is very successful, but there is some pushback from the congregation partially because the teens are not in the standard services and partially due to the lack of structure.
Basically I'm trying to get a sense of what other churches do and how well it works, and if anyone, particularly in the UU tradition, had a positive experience with youth group they'd be willing to share. I'm partially looking for ammunition to help defend the existing program but also in things that might help evolve it. In particular if someone has had a good experience with programming in the area of spiritual growth.
Sorry this is purposely a bit vague.
I've been asked to work with a senior youth group at my (UU) church starting next year. I've already met with the other leaders and the current teens on a summer retreat. The program meets during services on Sunday and is open ended and fairly unstructured, with a lot of peer discussions.
My impression is that the teens and leaders feel the program is very successful, but there is some pushback from the congregation partially because the teens are not in the standard services and partially due to the lack of structure.
Basically I'm trying to get a sense of what other churches do and how well it works, and if anyone, particularly in the UU tradition, had a positive experience with youth group they'd be willing to share. I'm partially looking for ammunition to help defend the existing program but also in things that might help evolve it. In particular if someone has had a good experience with programming in the area of spiritual growth.
Sorry this is purposely a bit vague.
I don’t have a teenager, so I can’t speak to the actual program, but schedule-wise: our church youth group meets every other week during services, with the teens joining the service on alternate weeks (though in reality most of them skip church on those days). The youth group leader does an announcement about once a month on what the group is up to, including fundraisers to which we are all invited. And, because we are a small community, some of the teens join the “normal” connect groups. To me, they definitely feel like part of the church, and I hear they are very enthusiastic about the youth group activities. (This is a small town baptist church in Australia)
posted by third word on a random page at 2:13 PM on July 31, 2019
posted by third word on a random page at 2:13 PM on July 31, 2019
Ummmm, the UU threw me for a loop because I thought of very young fundamental southern baptist eventually moving towards less of the fundamental part (changing churches many times) and keying in on the sort of middle-high school age and what was nice at the time. You can imagine that UU was so not a thing...
After Sunday morning service, everybody went home and did Sunday things, but before Sunday evening services there were a few hours where we all came back to church and did things like watch Kung-fu movies down in the basement where there was snacks and coffee and leadership. Just kids hanging out together before Sunday evening services (which we attended).
I wouldn't necessarily skip the services (which seems to be a point of contention), rather have the together non-service being normal kids enjoying normal things for a few hours on a day when nothing else is happening.
Move the gatherings outside of the standard services. Show up early, watch movies, maybe even change clothes before the service.
You'll have to weave UU into this yourself, but why not do both? Un-Structured and Structured.
posted by zengargoyle at 2:17 PM on July 31, 2019
After Sunday morning service, everybody went home and did Sunday things, but before Sunday evening services there were a few hours where we all came back to church and did things like watch Kung-fu movies down in the basement where there was snacks and coffee and leadership. Just kids hanging out together before Sunday evening services (which we attended).
I wouldn't necessarily skip the services (which seems to be a point of contention), rather have the together non-service being normal kids enjoying normal things for a few hours on a day when nothing else is happening.
Move the gatherings outside of the standard services. Show up early, watch movies, maybe even change clothes before the service.
You'll have to weave UU into this yourself, but why not do both? Un-Structured and Structured.
posted by zengargoyle at 2:17 PM on July 31, 2019
“The program meets during services on Sunday and is open ended and fairly unstructured, with a lot of peer discussions.”
That describes my experience of youth group growing up in a UU fellowship in Ontario and of my UU friends in other congregations in Ontario and New York. We’d attend a few of the significant adult services (water communion at the start of September, holiday service in December, end of season service/picnic in June) and once a year we’d run a service for the adults (and lots of the adults would skip it because they’re, I dunno, stuffy).
At the fellowship I grew up in the youth group isn’t held during the adult service any more - I think because of space issues and to give the kids a bit more privacy. Last I heard youth group was being held Sunday evenings.
posted by Secret Sparrow at 2:53 PM on July 31, 2019
That describes my experience of youth group growing up in a UU fellowship in Ontario and of my UU friends in other congregations in Ontario and New York. We’d attend a few of the significant adult services (water communion at the start of September, holiday service in December, end of season service/picnic in June) and once a year we’d run a service for the adults (and lots of the adults would skip it because they’re, I dunno, stuffy).
At the fellowship I grew up in the youth group isn’t held during the adult service any more - I think because of space issues and to give the kids a bit more privacy. Last I heard youth group was being held Sunday evenings.
posted by Secret Sparrow at 2:53 PM on July 31, 2019
Response by poster: Just to clarify, I am interested in answers from any tradition, not just UU (although UU answers are helpful as well). Thanks!
posted by selfnoise at 3:07 PM on July 31, 2019
posted by selfnoise at 3:07 PM on July 31, 2019
My youth group met Friday night (often at the church) and after Sunday evening service (at a home of a church member, a different home each evening). There was more of a Bible study component during the Friday meetings (along with bowling, pickup baseball, etc.), it was more social on Sunday evening (movies, board games, etc.). We never took over the Sunday evening service.
Young people always went to the main service (we often sat together). I liked sitting in on the main service every Sunday (there would have been push back if we tried to hold youth meetings during the main service) and then I liked meeting them outside of service. (I forgot until I saw this question how much I liked that youth group - so thanks for your question!)
This was the 1980s (if this is too long ago, I apologize), Baptist church, suburban Ontario.
posted by philfromhavelock at 3:48 PM on July 31, 2019
Young people always went to the main service (we often sat together). I liked sitting in on the main service every Sunday (there would have been push back if we tried to hold youth meetings during the main service) and then I liked meeting them outside of service. (I forgot until I saw this question how much I liked that youth group - so thanks for your question!)
This was the 1980s (if this is too long ago, I apologize), Baptist church, suburban Ontario.
posted by philfromhavelock at 3:48 PM on July 31, 2019
I grew up in a very laid back Catholic parish. So laid back that the "youth group", such as it was, met approximately four times a year. (Never during the service. That may be a Catholic thing.*) Once a professional baseball player who lived nearby came and gave them a talk on, I don't know, being Catholic. I was very upset I wasn't old enough to go. Other than that, I seem to recall they would mount a trip to the mall to buy Christmas presents for families in need. Maybe they only met once. By the time I was 13, my dad had moved to another parish that was less laid back (imagine my shock to discover people actually said the Christmas Eve mass on Christmas Eve!) but, as far as I know, didn't have a youth group. Nor did it have a bulletin through which I would have learned of the youth group (not that I would have gone; I was busy avoiding being confirmed at that point).
The more traditional parish near where I grew up had a youth group that met every Wednesday night, in the school gym (they had a school!), if I recall correctly. I gathered from friends that they played basketball with some indoctrination thrown in (this was a parish that actually opposed abortion). Going was considered semi-uncool, as far as I could tell, but loads of kids who grew up in that parish went to Kairos).)
*There was childcare available during mass, but I don't know what age it stopped at. In my family, you didn't go to church until you were school age.
posted by hoyland at 3:55 PM on July 31, 2019
The more traditional parish near where I grew up had a youth group that met every Wednesday night, in the school gym (they had a school!), if I recall correctly. I gathered from friends that they played basketball with some indoctrination thrown in (this was a parish that actually opposed abortion). Going was considered semi-uncool, as far as I could tell, but loads of kids who grew up in that parish went to Kairos).)
*There was childcare available during mass, but I don't know what age it stopped at. In my family, you didn't go to church until you were school age.
posted by hoyland at 3:55 PM on July 31, 2019
Episcopal church kid here.
We had an active teen group when I was growing up, about 20-30 kids in a parish of 300 people.
We had class that met at the same time as Sunday school. Many of us were acolytes, so taking us out of the service was a no go. If you weren't acolyting, you probably walked to a local restaurant, kicked around a soccer ball, or hung out in the church nursery (okay, that was mostly girls).
2 adults, one male & one female, lead the class. They also lead 2 weekend retreats a year and helped us plan dances and other events. For instance, as a teenager I helped plan our all church retreat one year.
It really was my "small town," where I was known, in the midst of a big public high school and in DC. Happy to say more if you email me.
posted by MichelleinMD at 4:45 PM on July 31, 2019
We had an active teen group when I was growing up, about 20-30 kids in a parish of 300 people.
We had class that met at the same time as Sunday school. Many of us were acolytes, so taking us out of the service was a no go. If you weren't acolyting, you probably walked to a local restaurant, kicked around a soccer ball, or hung out in the church nursery (okay, that was mostly girls).
2 adults, one male & one female, lead the class. They also lead 2 weekend retreats a year and helped us plan dances and other events. For instance, as a teenager I helped plan our all church retreat one year.
It really was my "small town," where I was known, in the midst of a big public high school and in DC. Happy to say more if you email me.
posted by MichelleinMD at 4:45 PM on July 31, 2019
I guess it depends somewhat on what you're hoping to provide these kids? I grew up Mormon which has an extremely involved youth program, but it is designed around indoctrination and sucking up extracurricular time that might allow you to interact with non-Mormons more, and I'm betting that's not what you're going for.
posted by Aleyn at 10:00 PM on July 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Aleyn at 10:00 PM on July 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
It sounds like there are different definitions of success. The current structure successfully gives the youth a lot of autonomy, but maybe it isn't succeeding at fully integrating them into the life of the community.
One of the reasons adults participate in a community like UU is often because they want to be part of something that will continue after they die, to pass down their values to the next generation (in some larger sense beyond their own children if they have them). So if the next generation is very obviously, week after week, not attending the services where these adults are trying to create something worthwhile and larger than themselves, it defeats that purpose, even if it achieves another purpose.
I have seen a successful UU youth program where the leaders put an incredible amount of effort into actively looking for ways to involve as many adults as possible in the youth programming, and as many youth as possible in the adult programming. When the adults put on an art show, the leader was a go-between getting the artsy youth to contribute and getting the adults to appreciate the young people's contributions. When the youth decided to go on a "field trip" to visit another UU congregation, the leader got additional adults to help out as one-time chaperones for the road trip. The leader got permission from the adults running the church bazaar for the youth to sell snacks there as a fundraiser for the youths' chosen cause. And when it came to services, the leader was constantly both negotiating with the worship committee and encouraging the youth to join the choir or perform some other music or give a very short speech about their community work, or whatever their thing is (or be there to support their friends who were performing or speaking).
posted by Former Congressional Representative Lenny Lemming at 5:08 AM on August 1, 2019 [1 favorite]
One of the reasons adults participate in a community like UU is often because they want to be part of something that will continue after they die, to pass down their values to the next generation (in some larger sense beyond their own children if they have them). So if the next generation is very obviously, week after week, not attending the services where these adults are trying to create something worthwhile and larger than themselves, it defeats that purpose, even if it achieves another purpose.
I have seen a successful UU youth program where the leaders put an incredible amount of effort into actively looking for ways to involve as many adults as possible in the youth programming, and as many youth as possible in the adult programming. When the adults put on an art show, the leader was a go-between getting the artsy youth to contribute and getting the adults to appreciate the young people's contributions. When the youth decided to go on a "field trip" to visit another UU congregation, the leader got additional adults to help out as one-time chaperones for the road trip. The leader got permission from the adults running the church bazaar for the youth to sell snacks there as a fundraiser for the youths' chosen cause. And when it came to services, the leader was constantly both negotiating with the worship committee and encouraging the youth to join the choir or perform some other music or give a very short speech about their community work, or whatever their thing is (or be there to support their friends who were performing or speaking).
posted by Former Congressional Representative Lenny Lemming at 5:08 AM on August 1, 2019 [1 favorite]
UU adults often feel that a successful youth program will lead to young people in services. You may have another goal for your program but that's probably the benchmark that they're looking for. Agree with the comment above that the youth leaders will need to put in the effort to bridge the gap between the two groups because they're the only ones with the relevant skills.
I (also UU) think that a youth program should build UU-style adults. By which I mean capable of creating worship, active on social justice issues, self-governing and autonomous, open to spirit and creativity, thoughtful and curious about the world and their place within it. How much of that are you hitting with your current program?
posted by plonkee at 5:48 AM on August 1, 2019
I (also UU) think that a youth program should build UU-style adults. By which I mean capable of creating worship, active on social justice issues, self-governing and autonomous, open to spirit and creativity, thoughtful and curious about the world and their place within it. How much of that are you hitting with your current program?
posted by plonkee at 5:48 AM on August 1, 2019
So let me say first of all that you are absolutely fantastic for doing this, seriously. Second: my kid would really love a youth group that met during church, and I would really hate it, so I can see where the disagreement in your congregation might be coming from.
When I was a teenager youth group met on Sunday evenings. I remember it being about half learning time and about half fun outings.
posted by gerstle at 6:41 AM on August 2, 2019
When I was a teenager youth group met on Sunday evenings. I remember it being about half learning time and about half fun outings.
posted by gerstle at 6:41 AM on August 2, 2019
I've been teaching Sunday school for this age group in a mainline Presbyterian church (PCUSA) for about 6 years now, and this is always been a problem that we've faced. We've thought about meeting during service, but have gotten pushback from the congregation for the reasons cited above (although I like the every other Sunday idea). We've tried lock-ins, bowling outings, pizza parties, movie nights, and we have still struggled to get more than 5-6 kids a week (out of a regular attendance of 250 or so). The kids who show up really get a lot out of it, and come regularly. But there are many other kids in the congregation who would be a great addition to the group. We just can't get them through the door.
In my area (NE Ohio), the most successful youth programs I've seen are in megachurches that have a youth pastor with a dedicated contemporary service and a youth center with things like a game room, indoor sliding board, A/V equipment and lots of other perks. My congregation doesn't have the resources like that to devote to our program, so we just keep on keeping on and try to bring in the kids one at a time.
It's a tough gig, but incredibly fulfilling once you start making personal connections with the kids. Good luck!
posted by slogger at 7:09 AM on August 2, 2019
In my area (NE Ohio), the most successful youth programs I've seen are in megachurches that have a youth pastor with a dedicated contemporary service and a youth center with things like a game room, indoor sliding board, A/V equipment and lots of other perks. My congregation doesn't have the resources like that to devote to our program, so we just keep on keeping on and try to bring in the kids one at a time.
It's a tough gig, but incredibly fulfilling once you start making personal connections with the kids. Good luck!
posted by slogger at 7:09 AM on August 2, 2019
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