la belle queer

July 29, 2019 6:37 PM

What makes a good (queer) life?

Last year, I asked about positive representations of queer family life (and loved the answers!) I have a related but distinct question: where do you go for queer perspectives on living a good, meaningful life; setting and pursuing goals; engaging positive with growth and change; etc.?

Here I mean queer in the sense of marginalized folks with non-normative bodies and relationships. I mean a good queer life in the sense of, oh, grappling with questions of meaning and belonging while also engaging queerly with life. I have a sort of junk food-though-sometimes-nourishing relationship to things like TED Talks that give me pieces of this, but not necessarily in a queer framework. And meanwhile, I have my own patchwork of writers and thinkers that help me feel out this question of the Good Life (Frank O'Hara, Audre Lorde, Kai Cheng Thom) but maybe not as directly.

I suppose I'm looking for something closer to self-help? Because I find that medium of communication reassuring, I think. Any suggestions would be lovely, thank you!

posted by elephantsvanish to Human Relations (3 answers total)

Auntie Kate Bornstein's My Gender Workbook and Hello Cruel World
posted by ottereroticist at 9:06 PM on July 29, 2019 [3 favorites]

I have found a tremendous sense of self from reading and engaging in the comments on Autostraddle. They try hard for diverse perspectives (and I think they succeed wildly), though they skew young and I think could benefit from more age diversity. Lots of self-help type columns for a wide variety of concerns, queer parenting, relationships, pop culture. I feel like it’s a wonderful site for anyone who feels queer in any capacity. It’s a wonderful jumping off point for the type of media (self help books or documentaries) you may want to consume but it’s also a great site to hang around and read on the regular. I can’t recommend it enough!
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 9:45 PM on July 29, 2019 [2 favorites]

Weirdly, I find a lot of inspiration for this on Instagram! A while ago I unfollowed accounts that were only trying to sell me things and added a lot of queer/trans/non-binary artists and activists. Here are the ones that feel like "the good life" to me, or folks who give a glow of joy, and who I regularly learn things from, find moments of clarity or "self-help" from, and who often lead me to other things to read and think about through their posts and ideas.

livinginthisqueerbody
salty.world
lisacongdon
adriennemareebrown (also wrote the book Pleasure Activism which you may find intriguing!)
sonialazo
adamjk
grace.lavery.pangolin
ihartericka
blaabad
jacobtobia
jvn
abbywambach
glennondoyle
dancingwiththem
alokvmenon
menswearselfcare
studiomucci
shooglet
lora_mathis
chaninicholas

I hope that these bring you some inspiration for this, I'll also be following to see other's ideas.
posted by fairlynearlyready at 11:51 AM on July 30, 2019 [3 favorites]