art that is funny, sad, knowing, and kind
July 25, 2019 9:13 PM   Subscribe

I can't go into all the details of why (it would take days to explain), but could you share with me art, of any kind, music, film, television, sculpture, poetry, what have you, that has the following qualifications: funny, sad, knowing, kind (like fundamentally humanist), soulful but not in a woo-woo way, and smart, not cloying.

Some recent examples: Manchester by the Sea; anything by the Band; the movie Juliet, Naked; anything by Hirokazu Kore-eda; the Before Sunrise trilogy; the tv show Justified. Also, the work of James Turrell.

If that makes sense to you, or if you feel like you have been in a similar spot as the one I am currently in (where the layers of all the hard, sad and complex things that are happening are nearly impossible to untangle), please give me your recommendations, and I will take all of them to heart. Thank you in advance!
posted by elko256 to Human Relations (61 answers total) 42 users marked this as a favorite
 
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay.
posted by sevensnowflakes at 9:20 PM on July 25, 2019 [8 favorites]


I recommend Kenny. Mock documentary with a lot of feels lightened with a bit of humour and featuring kind characters and a happy (but not saccharine) ending.
posted by ninazer0 at 9:26 PM on July 25, 2019


I think the movie This is Where I Leave You would fit your needs. It's not quite sad, but it's definitely melancholy, as a family coming together to sit shiva for their father's death.

It's a great, smart, funny movie where you see growth of the characters, and you learn to embrace them all for their faults and attributes. There's a lot of heart and kindness (as well as some expected sibling ribbing).
posted by hydra77 at 9:32 PM on July 25, 2019


This describes everything I look for in the things I like!

For TV I think you might like:
Fleabag (Amazon)
Tuca & Bertie (Netflix)
Los Espookys (maybe) (HBO)
Adventure Time (Amazon)
Secret Healer (Netflix)
The Good Place (Netflix/NBC)
Gentleman Jack (HBO)

For music I think you might like:
Dr. Dog
Florence & the Machine

For movies I think you might like:
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
posted by bleep at 9:33 PM on July 25, 2019 [6 favorites]


The Detectorists (3 seasons)
posted by Crystalinne at 9:43 PM on July 25, 2019 [7 favorites]


I’d recommend most Murakami novels for those traits, if you’ll also accept a solid dose of Weird and even some Unsettling bits.

Start with A Wild Sheep Chase as a short introduction to see if his style works for you.
posted by SaltySalticid at 9:52 PM on July 25, 2019 [1 favorite]


Eternal Sunshine...

Yep! And for other movies/video, check out The Science of Sleep and any of the other wonderful pieces by Michel Gondry for a wistful, earnest and poignant take on these themes:
posted by SaltySalticid at 9:56 PM on July 25, 2019


Six Feet Under (the TV show) was my first thought.
posted by lovableiago at 10:25 PM on July 25, 2019 [2 favorites]


The Fall (2006 film)
Funny, sad, knowing, kind, with gorgeous visuals and storytelling.
posted by calculus at 10:40 PM on July 25, 2019 [8 favorites]


The movie Lady Bird sprang immediately to mind for me.
posted by potrzebie at 10:54 PM on July 25, 2019 [3 favorites]


Barry (on HBO)
posted by fshgrl at 11:17 PM on July 25, 2019


These are mostly maybe quite a bit more, uh, let’s say “genre fiction”-y than what you might have in mind based on your examples. But I think they meet your criteria, and they’ve been helpful to me for dealing with difficult feelings:

Books: Television: Games (all with great soundtracks too):
posted by Syllepsis at 11:45 PM on July 25, 2019 [2 favorites]


I found that Just Kids by Patti Smith struck those chords beautifully.
posted by JuliaIglesias at 12:48 AM on July 26, 2019 [6 favorites]


Mike Mill's movies - Beginners and 20th Century Women are funny, sad, soulful and kind
posted by windbox at 12:50 AM on July 26, 2019 [1 favorite]


(double posted in error)
posted by windbox at 12:51 AM on July 26, 2019


The BBC series Fleabag with Phoebe Walker Bridge, especially if you stick it to the end of series 2. Although there is cynicism in there too, there is definitely a redemptive arc.
posted by JJZByBffqU at 1:03 AM on July 26, 2019 [2 favorites]


The music of Regina Spektor, and Mahler's first symphony.
posted by Lotto at 1:35 AM on July 26, 2019 [4 favorites]


If you can look past the violence, degradation and swearing, Deadwood (the series) has one of the most beating, bloody melancholy (and yes, with glimpses of kindness, which make them so much more profound) hearts of humanism I've seen on TV.

Ragtime by EL Doctrow (Emma Goldman! Houdini!) is one of the great historical-sweep humanist novels.
posted by lalochezia at 1:35 AM on July 26, 2019 [3 favorites]


I had no success finding the artist's name but here is JFKFC.

JFKFC
posted by bendy at 2:26 AM on July 26, 2019


Also thought of Six Feet Under

wikipedia: The show focuses on human mortality, the symbiotic nature of life and death feeding off of each other, and the . . . . primal emotions and feelings running under the surface. When one is surrounded by death . . . there needs to be a certain intensity of experience, of needing to escape.
posted by 6thsense at 3:17 AM on July 26, 2019


Both the novel and the movie The Remains of the Day.
posted by peacheater at 4:04 AM on July 26, 2019


Lynda Barry
posted by Redstart at 4:06 AM on July 26, 2019 [5 favorites]


Away From Her, provided you are OK with Alzheimer's as a focus of the story.

Mary Oliver's poetry.
posted by BibiRose at 5:06 AM on July 26, 2019 [3 favorites]


I feel like the anime can be great at this. Porco Rosso and The Wolf Children attempt this both in the way that they explore humanity through magical realism. And My Neighbor The Yamadas, and also Whisper Of The Heart as well in the way they explore the nuances of love and family in daily life.
posted by nikaspark at 5:07 AM on July 26, 2019


And I’ll throw Kiki’s Delivery Service in there too for a “coming of age” type film as well.
posted by nikaspark at 5:09 AM on July 26, 2019 [2 favorites]


Aimee Mann’s solo albums and everything Michael Penn has ever done.
posted by JoeZydeco at 6:13 AM on July 26, 2019 [4 favorites]


Bojack Horseman, especially the episode Fish Out of Water (though I don't know if it would work as well if you haven't seen any previous episodes.)
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 6:16 AM on July 26, 2019 [5 favorites]


Bojack's Fish Out of Water episode is my go-to episode for trying to introduce people new to the show. Yes, you lose a little context not having seen previous episodes. But as a largely silent episode, it doesn't require a lot of prior information to follow along and it checks all of elko256's boxes. Also Master of None and Atlanta hit these marks as well. I know the advertisements for Atlanta tend to market it as a show about the city's famous hip-hop scene, but it's so much more than that — the comedy of being an internet celebrity while still not having enough money to stay in motels on tour, the frustrating endurance of family bonds, the surrealism of urban life, the deep understanding of how social media is altering our etiquette and interactions, and a biting, if acidly humorous view, about how big tech and hip-hop's internationalism have added strange new layers to American notions of race and the color line.
posted by caveatz at 6:32 AM on July 26, 2019 [1 favorite]


All books by Guy Gavriel Kay. Always kind and knowing and so much fun, but with moments that stab you in the heart. "Tigana, let my memory of you be like a blade in my soul."
posted by I claim sanctuary at 6:34 AM on July 26, 2019


the films Silver Linings Playlist and Little Miss Sunshine came to mind

Also, the poetry of Brian Patten

A blade of grass

You ask for a poem.
I offer you a blade of grass.
You say it is not good enough.
You ask for a poem.

I say this blade of grass will do.
It has dressed itself in frost,
It is more immediate
Than any image of my making.

You say it is not a poem,
It is a blade of grass and grass
Is not quite good enough.
I offer you a blade of grass.

You are indignant.
You say it is too easy to offer grass.
It is absurd.
Anyone can offer a blade of grass.

You ask for a poem.
And so I write you a tragedy about
How a blade of grass
Becomes more and more difficult to offer,

And about how as you grow older
A blade of grass
Becomes more difficult to accept.

-- Brian Patten
posted by cross_impact at 6:38 AM on July 26, 2019 [4 favorites]


Not sure if this fits, but the first thing I thought of was Calvin and Hobbes. There are years worth of daily strips that have many of those qualities.
posted by pilot pirx at 6:45 AM on July 26, 2019 [6 favorites]


Oh. And "A Visit From The Goon Squad" by Jennifer Egan
posted by cross_impact at 6:51 AM on July 26, 2019


The films of UK filmmaker Ken Loach are what I watch when I'm in that mood. He's a very naturalistic director whose focus is on the dignity and humanity of poor and working class UK people. For something recent, try the heartbreaking I, Daniel Blake in which an aging blue collar worker finds himself stuck in a gap where he cannot collect disability or unemployment. His friendship with a young mother down in her luck is complicated and moving. For the lighter side, try The Angel's Share, in which a young father who narrowly avoids a prison sentence finds a route to redemption (or maybe his next crime) after a distillery tour.

His films are funny, salty, and drenched in empathy. They have a lot of regard for male and female characters, an interest in intergenerational conflict and bonding, a damning view of institutional and societal callousness, and a socialist's keen eye for class structures.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:52 AM on July 26, 2019 [1 favorite]


Inspired by pilot pirx's excellent recommendation of Calvin and Hobbes, I was reminded of the late Richard Thompson's Cul de Sac. (At the risk of causing a riot I will declare it to be better than Calvin and Hobbes; in any case, Bill Watterson praised it in the foreward to the first collection).
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 6:57 AM on July 26, 2019 [2 favorites]


One more vote for Aimee Mann, she fills all your criteria for me. Super smart, kind, sad, funny. She's gotten me through so much shit in life.
posted by fiercecupcake at 7:30 AM on July 26, 2019 [3 favorites]


One more vote for Fleabag.
posted by Ragged Richard at 7:36 AM on July 26, 2019 [1 favorite]


Enlightened.
posted by iximox at 8:41 AM on July 26, 2019


It's Such a Beautiful Day is an animated film about a man with a progressive neurological condition that causes amnesia and hallucinations. From the Wikipedia article, "Critic Tom Huddleston described it as 'one of the great outsider artworks of the modern era, at once sympathetic and shocking, beautiful and horrifying, angry and hilarious, uplifting and almost unbearably sad.'"
posted by J.K. Seazer at 8:44 AM on July 26, 2019 [2 favorites]


Some dance (mostly ballet) that might speak to you: this excerpt from Christopher Wheeldon's After the Rain; the music video for Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zero's Man on Fire; Justin Peck's music video for the National's Dark Side of the Gym, and these videos for his pieces for San Francisco Ballet and NYCBallet; Michaela de Prince performing at Women in the World.
posted by ChuraChura at 8:45 AM on July 26, 2019 [1 favorite]


I second the recommendation of The Good Place (available on Netflix). It has a funny, zany, 30-minute-sitcom exterior, but it is deep, smart, funny, knowing.

I also just read The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank. It is sort of old now, and I found my copy for a few dollars in a used book store. It is a compilation of short stories but they follow the same character, so it's kind of a vignette narrative. I don't know your gender or if that matters, but most of the stories are about the woman's relationships with herself and with men (in her family, boyfriends, etc.). I found the overall tone to be a little melancholy in a good way, and it was funny and smart enough that I took pictures of bits of the dialogue and sent it to my friend. In my opinion it hits all your criteria.
posted by kochenta at 9:03 AM on July 26, 2019


This question makes me think of the novels of David Mitchell, which have sparkling prose and the full gamut of human emotions explored with sensitivity and humor. They reliably make me cry, think and laugh. Start with The Bone Clocks.
posted by zeusianfog at 11:55 AM on July 26, 2019


Better Off Ted; on the surface it's horrible, but it's very humanistic, kind, and funny.
posted by porpoise at 12:09 PM on July 26, 2019


The band Beirut (esp. their song Postcards from Italy)
The movies Life Aquatic & Amelie
The book Skippy dies
posted by speakeasy at 12:24 PM on July 26, 2019 [1 favorite]


I love this question. I hope that things get better for you soon.

Movies:
Still Alice
Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Proof
In Her Shoes

Book:
Wild, by Cheryl Strayed
posted by yawper at 12:36 PM on July 26, 2019


Movie: About a Boy. Based on a book of the same name by Nick Hornsby. I haven’t read the book though I imagine it is good because he is usually good. It’s about a wealthy man determined not to be dependent on anyone and who finds friendship in the unlikely form of a bullied boy. It is funny. There is kindness. Also earnestness, cynicism, and approximately zero sentimentality but a pinch of redemptive possibility at the end. It may be the only film in which Hugh Grant plays someone other than Hugh Grant, and he does a rather nice job of it.
posted by Bella Donna at 2:24 PM on July 26, 2019


Comic: Lunarbaboon.
posted by scruss at 2:41 PM on July 26, 2019


Seconding Atlanta and Los Espookys (and Julio Torres' comedy in general) but also emphatically suggesting Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. I get the sense from your list that maybe things in the superhero genre (and an animated entry at that) aren't your thing, and I promise you that my disposition is similar and it didn't keep me from loving that movie deeply.
posted by invitapriore at 3:26 PM on July 26, 2019


some movies that fit this description for me: magnolia, the station agent, adaptation. i'm sorry things are hard right now.
posted by eseuss at 3:50 PM on July 26, 2019 [1 favorite]


Nth The Good Place, adding George Elliot, Middlemarch is totally worth it, but I think Daniel Deronda is a beautiful and deeply flawed work that has a lot to say to us today. Am in the middle of Ulysses (for the third attempt) and find that the kind humanism bursts out like lightning from the mind of Bloom in particular, but, you know, only a third or so through... Also it is a shockingly post colonial work in ways no one ever bothered to tell me...
posted by Stilling Still Dreaming at 5:29 PM on July 26, 2019


The movie Paterson - dir. Jim Jarmusch
posted by thebots at 5:37 PM on July 26, 2019 [1 favorite]


Dostoyevsky's Brothers Karamazov is a classic for a reason, and more readable than it may sound (once you get a head around the nicknames for each major character). It's funny, humanist, kind, humble and sad. The chapters either side of the the Grand Inquisitor section can be read stand alone https://www.gutenberg.org/files/28054/28054-h/28054-h.html#toc81
posted by hotcoroner at 6:45 PM on July 26, 2019


Carol Tyler's The Hannah Story (Drawn and Quarterly #1) is touching, heartbreaking...not funny ha ha but there's definitely a sense of humor at work in it. It helped me deal with some old emotions around a loss.
posted by bonobothegreat at 8:51 PM on July 26, 2019


A friend of mine makes very beautiful and humanist short stop-motion films. A lot of themes around death, change, and that sort of thing, but framed in a natural and positive way. Sad in a cathartic kind of way. They have a very whimsical style heavy on allegory, so ymmv based on how much you like that kind of thing. LGBTQ+ themes are also very common in their work.
posted by forbiddencabinet at 9:41 PM on July 26, 2019


For reading, I find the following authors approach their (flawed, sometimes making poor choices) characters with a fundamental compassion, while maintaining a kind of approach that I appreciate from the two films of Kore-eda I've seen... it's not intellectual detachment or an intellectualizing approach to their stories, because it is very much attached and compassionate, but they definitely make me think and engage my brain as well as my heart, while focusing on just family/personal life sort of stories: John Irving, Dorothy Allison, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Jeanette Winterson; maybe also Sandra Cisneros, Amy McKay, "Catch 22" by Heller, and at least some of the works of Herman Hesse? In the short story genre, Kate Chopin.

For film: anything Miyazaki, "Incendies"; and to a lesser extent, the films I've seen from both John Waters and Jim Jarmusch (Waters has a little more of the heart, Jarmusch a little more of the head). TV series: Samurai Champloo, Trigun.

Maya Angelou's autobiographical works, "Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?" by Winterson, or anything James Baldwin, for non-fiction.
posted by eviemath at 5:36 AM on July 27, 2019


I think you also want Michael Leunig's cartoons.
posted by vers at 1:24 PM on July 27, 2019


I also came to Suggest The Fall, Ladybird, and Mary Oliver, specifically : "You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves."

In addition Big Fish, and Beasts of the Southern Wild. They both deal with death, but in a soft manner that makes it beautiful.
posted by FirstMateKate at 2:34 PM on July 27, 2019 [3 favorites]


Many good suggestions above. I add my votes to The Good Place, Calvin and Hobbes, Kenny, Atlanta and Spider-Man: Into The Spiderverse.

Also: Russian Doll (Netflix), The Yiddish Policeman's Union by Michael Chabon, Can You Ever Forgive Me (film), Jasper Jones (Aussie YA turned into a movie for all ages), and Happy-go-lucky (Mike Leigh film).

Some of Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels have this vibe - he's always a humanist, but he's also a deeply geeky writer so the balance shifts between stories. I'd recommend Small Gods for you, and if you dig the style you should seek out the rest of the books.
posted by harriet vane at 2:10 AM on July 28, 2019


Response by poster: Thank you all for these wonderfully thoughtful, empathetic and kind responses. I'm hoping that people discover this thread going forward and keep adding to it. Many of your answers were already some of my favorite films or tv shows - those are going on the re-watch list. And the responses that were new to me have already proved incredibly useful. I'll try to work my way through everything recommended, so I can't even pick out any favorites right now, but thank you very much.

Here are some more examples that have occurred to me over the past few days: the music of Maggie Rogers, the movie Harvey, the Cary Grant movies Holiday and The Philadelphia Story, the movie Brooklyn, Walker Percy's The Moviegoer, the music of Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen, the movie Local Hero, the poetry of Donald Hall.

I should have added, in my criteria above, that the art that fits into this category should above all leave you feeling hopeful, regardless of how sad or dark the subject matter is. If you don't leave hopeful, it doesn't work - it's another kind of art, for another purpose.
posted by elko256 at 2:14 PM on July 28, 2019 [2 favorites]


Kurosawa's Ikiru, and Ray's Panther Panchali hit this spot for me. In explicitly silly movies, the Thin Man series is worth a try.

In music, recently, Regina Spektor, Camille, Tom Waits, and Chuck E. Weiss.

Best wishes.
posted by eotvos at 5:03 PM on July 31, 2019


Anything by Jenny Lawson. Her blog is called The Bloggess and it's hilarious, irreverent and deep.
posted by mulkey at 7:04 PM on August 3, 2019


I just finished the video game What Remains of Edith Finch and honestly it should be at the top of this list. So beautiful and kind and sad. It's a click and point type story adventure, of a 19 year old girl returning home for the first time after her mother dies. She goes through the very large, whimsical, unnerving, weird childhood home and learns about the family curse, and all the relatives that have prematurely died in her family. The way the stories are told are so beautiful and inventive and interesting. But overall it's told as a sort of love letter, beautiful and hopeful. It took only 2ish hours to play, in a way it's more of an interactive movie.
posted by FirstMateKate at 12:35 PM on August 10, 2019


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