anxiety, incoming.
July 19, 2019 7:25 AM Subscribe
I believe that I might be in for a spell of anxiety in the future. What can I do to nip my anxious thoughts and feelings in the bud before they become an actual problem?
I can sense the beginnings of a spell of anxiety. I have had serious depression/anxiety before and in each case, the symptoms were there for months in advance, I just didn't really pay attention. But now I am and I'd like to nip things in the bud before it becomes a problem.
What I'm noticing at the moment is a tendency to overthink social and work interactions way more than I usually would, and I mean really overthink - I can panic myself into a spiral over things that normally I wouldn't necessarily think about that much because I have never normally thought of myself as a socially anxious person. "Maybe I shouldn't have done that thing, maybe I shouldn't have said that thing, I'm sure everybody hates me." I feel like my filter doesn't work as well as it normally does so I'm much more likely these days to blurt out something and then spend days and days regretting it (like recently when my boss said something I disagreed with and instead of politely disagreeing I just went: "WHY?" Ugh, the memory still gives me a whole body shudder.) Usually, I am much more careful and composed.
I have also mentioned elsewhere on metafilter my wonderful/terrible current crush (the most intense I have ever experienced in my life) which is of course feeding the anxiety -"I shouldn't have said that to that person, what did that micro-expression of theirs mean, I'm sure they hate me." Even though I know they don't.
I've written elsewhere on metafilter about my quite active social life and large, healthy network of friends - however, I feel like the people who usually calm and ground me aren't as available as they used to be (they've had babies) and the people I do have access to are people who, in some way or the other, stimulate me and feed my anxiety.
A lot of the stressful interactions I describe are work interactions. I'm going on holiday soon, which may do something to reset. I'd feel a lot better if I could just ground myself with a rest and a cup of tea with people who calm me. In the absence of that, what can I do to calm myself really deeply?
I find meditation not at all useful for my purposes. I already exercise, although work obligations over the summer have made it hard for me to sustain my exercise routine - and I find the calming effects of an exercise session does not last long at all.
TIA, Mefites.
I can sense the beginnings of a spell of anxiety. I have had serious depression/anxiety before and in each case, the symptoms were there for months in advance, I just didn't really pay attention. But now I am and I'd like to nip things in the bud before it becomes a problem.
What I'm noticing at the moment is a tendency to overthink social and work interactions way more than I usually would, and I mean really overthink - I can panic myself into a spiral over things that normally I wouldn't necessarily think about that much because I have never normally thought of myself as a socially anxious person. "Maybe I shouldn't have done that thing, maybe I shouldn't have said that thing, I'm sure everybody hates me." I feel like my filter doesn't work as well as it normally does so I'm much more likely these days to blurt out something and then spend days and days regretting it (like recently when my boss said something I disagreed with and instead of politely disagreeing I just went: "WHY?" Ugh, the memory still gives me a whole body shudder.) Usually, I am much more careful and composed.
I have also mentioned elsewhere on metafilter my wonderful/terrible current crush (the most intense I have ever experienced in my life) which is of course feeding the anxiety -"I shouldn't have said that to that person, what did that micro-expression of theirs mean, I'm sure they hate me." Even though I know they don't.
I've written elsewhere on metafilter about my quite active social life and large, healthy network of friends - however, I feel like the people who usually calm and ground me aren't as available as they used to be (they've had babies) and the people I do have access to are people who, in some way or the other, stimulate me and feed my anxiety.
A lot of the stressful interactions I describe are work interactions. I'm going on holiday soon, which may do something to reset. I'd feel a lot better if I could just ground myself with a rest and a cup of tea with people who calm me. In the absence of that, what can I do to calm myself really deeply?
I find meditation not at all useful for my purposes. I already exercise, although work obligations over the summer have made it hard for me to sustain my exercise routine - and I find the calming effects of an exercise session does not last long at all.
TIA, Mefites.
I have pretty bad anxiety/depression cycles, and over the years I have grown increasingly skilled at seeing them coming and doing some interventions. Like it sounds like you are looking to do. I have been successful in using those interventions to help reduce swing - I still get an uptick of anxiety symptoms but they are less debilitating, for example. I am more able to use healthy coping skills to at least prevent anxiety-fog of my decisionmaking from making things worse, for example.
Some of the things that help me most are two things you've stated aren't what you're looking for - meditation, and increasing exercise. I am going to say only one or two very small points on those items, though. (1) Re meditation, what kind of meditation are you doing? I find mindfulness meditation (focus on your breath and don't think about stuff) extremely challenging to the point of it doing more harm than good, when my rumination is very high. I assume you have tried lots of different kinds of meditation already, but just in case not if you do have any questions about or openness to trying other kids, I and I'm sure many others would be happy to talk about different types. (2) The exercise that helps me most is outdoors, and studies suggest that exercise *outside* is better than exercise *inside* at reducing rumination, which is a key both symptom and driver of anxiety imo. The exercise they studied in the study I am thinking of was simply taking a walk and looking at nature.
The other things that help:
* Waking up earlier on a consistent schedule, and going to bed earlier. I don't mean up at dawn, in bed at 8, but just setting my alarm for 7am instead of waking up whenever I wake up around 7:30 or so.
* Staying more hydrated. The symptoms of being even mildly dehydrated for me, especially in a heat wave like we are having where I live, are very similar to my anxiety feels. So keeping hydrated helps minimize.
* Journaling. One thing I do is make a list of self-care ideas and then basically force myself to do them from time to time. I ignore the anxiety-depression lying voice in my head that says they won't help. That voice is a liar.
* Choosing healthy foods and taking care of my body in general. Mind-body connection. Sugar highs/lows can mimic my anxiety symptoms too. I cannot really control the thoughts my mind thinks, but I can treat my body with kid gloves.
* All of the above (including the meditation and outside exercise) feed into better sleep, which helps me a lot.
* I find CBD oil to be incredibly helpful in calming racing thoughts and rumination.
And the one thing best and most important to me, is getting lost in a book. If I can spend a couple of hours in the evening in a quiet, cool, dim room, reading a book, then I call that my 'mental traction.' Sometimes rumination makes it very hard to get lost in that. The CBD oil does help.
posted by ramble-on-prose at 8:31 AM on July 19, 2019 [4 favorites]
Some of the things that help me most are two things you've stated aren't what you're looking for - meditation, and increasing exercise. I am going to say only one or two very small points on those items, though. (1) Re meditation, what kind of meditation are you doing? I find mindfulness meditation (focus on your breath and don't think about stuff) extremely challenging to the point of it doing more harm than good, when my rumination is very high. I assume you have tried lots of different kinds of meditation already, but just in case not if you do have any questions about or openness to trying other kids, I and I'm sure many others would be happy to talk about different types. (2) The exercise that helps me most is outdoors, and studies suggest that exercise *outside* is better than exercise *inside* at reducing rumination, which is a key both symptom and driver of anxiety imo. The exercise they studied in the study I am thinking of was simply taking a walk and looking at nature.
The other things that help:
* Waking up earlier on a consistent schedule, and going to bed earlier. I don't mean up at dawn, in bed at 8, but just setting my alarm for 7am instead of waking up whenever I wake up around 7:30 or so.
* Staying more hydrated. The symptoms of being even mildly dehydrated for me, especially in a heat wave like we are having where I live, are very similar to my anxiety feels. So keeping hydrated helps minimize.
* Journaling. One thing I do is make a list of self-care ideas and then basically force myself to do them from time to time. I ignore the anxiety-depression lying voice in my head that says they won't help. That voice is a liar.
* Choosing healthy foods and taking care of my body in general. Mind-body connection. Sugar highs/lows can mimic my anxiety symptoms too. I cannot really control the thoughts my mind thinks, but I can treat my body with kid gloves.
* All of the above (including the meditation and outside exercise) feed into better sleep, which helps me a lot.
* I find CBD oil to be incredibly helpful in calming racing thoughts and rumination.
And the one thing best and most important to me, is getting lost in a book. If I can spend a couple of hours in the evening in a quiet, cool, dim room, reading a book, then I call that my 'mental traction.' Sometimes rumination makes it very hard to get lost in that. The CBD oil does help.
posted by ramble-on-prose at 8:31 AM on July 19, 2019 [4 favorites]
If a messy living space triggers your anxiety, can you clean it now, so that if/when you are feeling anxious, your anxiety won't seize on that as more evidence that The World Is Ending (this is what my anxiety does)?
posted by rogerroger at 9:02 AM on July 19, 2019
posted by rogerroger at 9:02 AM on July 19, 2019
The audiobook of Hope and Help for your Nerves by Claire Weekes is the one thing I've found that has made a real difference to my anxiety. It's definitely dated - written in the mid sixties so she talks about 'nerves' rather than anxiety, and lots of chat about housewives suffering agoraphobia and men suffering stress in the workplace.
However... it's really worth seeing through that for the underlying advice. She was decades ahead of her time in predicting aspects of a lot of contemporary advice on anxiety. Having it as an audiobook has made it more accessible for me and I can drop in on favourite passages while commuting etc. She reads it herself and sounds like a strict-but-kindly Australian GP, which I also enjoy, though YMMV.
posted by penguin pie at 10:11 AM on July 19, 2019 [1 favorite]
However... it's really worth seeing through that for the underlying advice. She was decades ahead of her time in predicting aspects of a lot of contemporary advice on anxiety. Having it as an audiobook has made it more accessible for me and I can drop in on favourite passages while commuting etc. She reads it herself and sounds like a strict-but-kindly Australian GP, which I also enjoy, though YMMV.
posted by penguin pie at 10:11 AM on July 19, 2019 [1 favorite]
Do you have something you can start or set up plans for that will get you outside? Sunlight and trees stabilize me a lot.
posted by Lady Li at 12:40 AM on July 20, 2019
posted by Lady Li at 12:40 AM on July 20, 2019
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Self-awareness is probably your biggest ally, like thinking about what may trigger you and developing a plan. Like for instance if you're obsessing over hearing from your crush, set alarms and don't check your phone in between. If you're worried about social interactions, plan ways you can escape if you need to, or if you can do things like help in the kitchen that get you out of the fray. And remember that nobody has to know if you're terrified to talk to them. They will remember if you're nice, if you ask friendly questions about them, etc.
Work interactions are rough. Can you give yourself a little outlet, like giving your coworkers stupid nicknames? Setting times to go sit by yourself or look at something pretty online? Can you post happy pictures of loved ones at your cube/ desk or at least pull out to look at on your phone?
posted by mermaidcafe at 7:40 AM on July 19, 2019 [2 favorites]