Sudden guardianship?
June 26, 2019 9:10 AM   Subscribe

A young internet friend suddenly disappeared. There followed within a few days an email from his aunt, claiming this 19 year old was "no longer his own guardian". What can I do to help?

Mind you, these problems started because this person wanted to visit me, with the possibility of moving in. We have mutual interests, and I have some need for assistance. He'd benefit from the environmental change, and academic supervision.

His family objected to his even talking about it. Over this past weekend, his messages changed, and I did not think it was him. I closed the usual connection (he has other means to reach me) and that was all, until the email, this morning.

His aunt sited the young man's "disability". He has adhd and Spectrum. Most of my friends are so described. I never heard of that being grounds to be declared incompetent.

I do know his real name, just not his exact location.

How can I help from Pennsylvania?
posted by Goofyy to Law & Government (8 answers total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: Sorry, this seems like a question that AskMe can't really help with. -- LobsterMitten

 
Uhhhh. I think you need to back extremely away from this. All of this sounds extremely not like a thing you need to "help" with.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:19 AM on June 26, 2019 [9 favorites]


Have you ever met this person in real life, or Skype even?
posted by Melismata at 9:21 AM on June 26, 2019


Unless you have concrete reason to believe that he is in danger from his family (and the facts you’ve outlined in this question don’t meet that criteria), I don’t think it is your place to do anything here.
posted by sallybrown at 9:21 AM on June 26, 2019


It's very possible this person has some mental health challenges that are not present/obvious when the two of you interact online. Getting declared incompetent is usually pretty difficult, but may have been something in the works for a while. I think your options at this point are to offer support to his family, or to back off from this situation.
posted by jessamyn at 9:22 AM on June 26, 2019 [1 favorite]


So... you've been talking to a young man on the internet about him moving in with you in order to provide you with assistance? And you're taking umbrage at this young man's family making your arrangement impossible?

How old are you?
posted by MiraK at 9:27 AM on June 26, 2019 [14 favorites]


Response by poster: How is my age relevant, except in prejudiced kinds of ways?
Is it also relevant that we are both gay?
I've been working with young adults since I was one. Whether in the court house, or on the street. Few things are more rewarding.

The program of my design would benefit both of us. That's how I do things.
posted by Goofyy at 9:35 AM on June 26, 2019


Yeah your update does not make this even remotely less of a NOPE.

Working with young adults is one thing. Living with young adults who you "academically supervise" while they care for you is a whole 'nother fishkettle. If I were this kid's auntie I'd be shutting down the "usual connection" too.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:42 AM on June 26, 2019 [7 favorites]


You don’t specify what type of “assistance” from him would have been part of the deal, but if it’s something people usually pay for (like a personal assistant, a scheduler, a home repair person, or private nursing care), then you giving him unspecified tutoring in exchange instead of money for his labor would come across as exploitative to many people. You are a stranger to this man and his family. Whatever other concerns they have about him that lead to the guardianship would make them even more careful about this situation.
posted by sallybrown at 9:46 AM on June 26, 2019 [2 favorites]


« Older How do I go about finding a legit jade ring?   |   Looking for a play about three friends and a freak... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.