Please Help Me Get Into a (Apricot) Jam
May 9, 2019 11:16 AM   Subscribe

I planted a young dwarf apricot tree in my back garden in Spring 2012. It has grown up into a mature, healthy, productive tree. But, to date, I have never gotten a single apricot from the tree because the squirrels eat every last one before they are even close to ripe, the pilfering little shits. Is there some way I can safeguard my tree from this highway robbery?
posted by orange swan to Home & Garden (20 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
Deploy a trailcam so you can watch for movement near the tree, figure out how they're getting access to it, and keep designing and testing barriers until you have some that work.
posted by flabdablet at 11:27 AM on May 9, 2019 [1 favorite]


No. It's a lost cause, sorry.

As much as I have affection for squirrels, years of fighting fruit tree defence have taught me they will always be the ultimate victor. In your case, with a tree that large, positioned where it is, I honestly don't think you'll stand a chance.
posted by sardonyx at 11:34 AM on May 9, 2019 [1 favorite]


nets work, but your tree is really big for netting. Is there any way you could net off sections of it? Like essentially individually net some branches, wrapping carefully around and fastening at the base?
posted by fingersandtoes at 11:35 AM on May 9, 2019 [5 favorites]


If that were my apricot tree and I wanted fruit off it, I would start by removing the entire side of it that overhangs the green roof in your picture. Once it had recovered from that I would pollard it to persuade it to throw out a nest of lower-growing branches, prune away everything growing toward the roof and the fence, thin out the branches heading into the yard a little so I had good access for harvesting, and fit a slippery plastic collar around the trunk so that squirrel claws could get no purchase.

The tree would probably end up ugly as sin, but it would make apricots.
posted by flabdablet at 11:35 AM on May 9, 2019 [5 favorites]


Yeah, that thing as it is now is a squirrel buffet. With a nice, flat dining surface provided. It's basically what a squirrel would design. You've got to get it away from the roof and fence.
posted by fiercecupcake at 11:46 AM on May 9, 2019 [4 favorites]


The tree would probably end up ugly as sin, but it would make apricots

...which you'd have to net it to stop birds from getting.
posted by flabdablet at 11:55 AM on May 9, 2019 [3 favorites]


Response by poster: A garden centre employee recommended citronella plants. Would that work? Or even help?
posted by orange swan at 12:00 PM on May 9, 2019


My friend with a fig tree would put paper bags over the fruit to keep it safe... Perhaps a googling will help determine if that works for apricots
posted by PistachioRoux at 12:16 PM on May 9, 2019 [3 favorites]


I think that garden centre employee was just trying to up his commission. Even if it did keep the squirrels away at ground level (and I've never seen any evidence that squirrels don't like citronella), they've still got approaches via fence line and shed roof. They have their ways.
posted by sardonyx at 12:22 PM on May 9, 2019 [2 favorites]


For comparison's sake, I have squirrels that will dig in my flowerpots by my front door. The only thing that sort of deters them is cayenne pepper -- and I am not talking a little. I mean, the soil is red, AND I have to sprinkle new on EVERY DAY. And the odd brave squirrel still digs now and then. This is with pots that just have greens in them, and not fruit.

A few citronella plants ain't gonna do it.
posted by fiercecupcake at 1:02 PM on May 9, 2019 [1 favorite]


Sorry to continue the chorus of bad news, but I'm you except with a peach tree, and you are hosed. In four years I've had exactly one peach, the squirrels have gotten every single other one. I'm only half joking when I say that I'm gonna look in to getting a pet falcon soon.
posted by saladin at 1:09 PM on May 9, 2019 [3 favorites]


This thread has some potentially actionable suggestions, and only some of them involve firearms.

Won't work with your fruit tree, but I want to believe in this utopian solution from another permaculture website: "Some permaculture farmers even employ squirrels as labor by setting out buckets near their nut trees, letting the squirrels fill them, and swapping the nuts for corn."
posted by toastedcheese at 1:19 PM on May 9, 2019 [4 favorites]


Bwaaa, haa, ha!

I'm sorry toastedcheese, that's the funniest thing I've read in years. None of the local squirrels would swap nuts for corn. First they'd steal the good nuts from the trees (not the spoiled fallen ones) then they'd raid the corn. They might even consider stealing the buckets if they thought they could carry them.

firececupcake and I must have squirrels from the same gene pool, because mine have the same attitude toward cayenne and other peppers. They're not really fond of it, even in massive quantities, but if there is something worth eating underneath the pepper, they'll soldier through. Ditto for things like blood meal, which is often recommended as a deterrent.

Even with netting on the pear tree, the squirrels would bite at the fruit through the gaps in the netting or get their claws into the holes in the netting and grab at the fruit. If you're going to go the netting route you've got to get the absolute tightest, finest mesh available.
posted by sardonyx at 1:55 PM on May 9, 2019 [2 favorites]


Maybe you could try a similar tactic discussed in the RadioLab episode Bad News Bears Link. Those bears were eating peaches WITH IMPUNITY. So they fought back with NPR.
posted by amanda at 1:57 PM on May 9, 2019


I can’t offer a solution, but a friend of mine has lived in a house for twenty years with two amazing apple trees and despite heroic attempts at netting, has never had a single reasonably ripe apple from the trees. And it took them several years to remove all of the net.

Also, the squirrels take one bite of each of my ripe tomatoes before deciding they don’t like tomatoes. My hatred runs deep.
posted by defreckled at 2:06 PM on May 9, 2019 [1 favorite]


Is there anybody you hold a grudge against? Havahart traps and relocate squirrels to their yard, at least several miles away. If you are grudge-free, take the squirrels to a park in a wealthy town.
posted by theora55 at 2:40 PM on May 9, 2019


Please don’t net the tree, unless you’re fond of watching birds die slowly when they get caught in it.
posted by penguin pie at 3:55 PM on May 9, 2019 [1 favorite]


My neighbors fixed this problem with their plum tree by cinching mesh bags around blossoming branches. They sewed the bags themselves, and each was a custom size for the branch. They used plastic window screen and a double row of zigzag stitching. The shape was a square bottom with flaps that were sewn up (like a fat cross shape) and then zip tied around the branch.

A fair amount of work, but worth doing if you want those apricots! Plus you could reuse them year after year. If the pattern bit doesnt make sense, PM me and I'll send a diagram or something.
posted by ananci at 5:56 PM on May 9, 2019 [3 favorites]


Please don’t use bird netting, because birds get stuck and die. Last year I used this mosquito netting on my peach trees and it worked great. It’s available in a lot of different sizes.
posted by MexicanYenta at 9:06 PM on May 9, 2019


Another possibility: designate an eight foot cube of air in your yard as a humans-only harvesting zone. Build a raised platform that you can stand on for the floor, with steps for access. Make walls and a ceiling and a door with half inch wire mesh, with one or more apricot tree branches growing in through one of the walls quite near the floor via only-just-big-enough holes cut into the mesh. Each year, cut away just enough mesh from around the branch entry points to stop the wire from strangling the bark and prune back the growth inside the box in such a way as to promote apricot-bearing new growth for the following year.

Squirrels have the advantages of small size, extreme agility, large numbers and relentless persistence, but they can't chew through steel wire and they're rubbish locksmiths.
posted by flabdablet at 2:11 AM on May 10, 2019 [4 favorites]


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