A tactful way to negotiate start date at a new job
March 29, 2019 7:25 AM   Subscribe

I have been interviewing pretty aggressively for a new job and have made it fairly far along in some interviews. But one thing that's *really* important to me is taking some time off between my hell-job and my prospective new job.

I haven't had a proper vacation in what feels like years because to be honest, I don't get much out of laying out on the beach knowing that things are still churning and burning back in the office. I still check emails to make sure some massive mistake I made did not get uncovered, still get the occasional panicked phone call about a fire drill, still get the pangs of dread for returning to the hell-job.

But if I had some time off with NO hell-job to return to? Time off knowing that I return to a completely clean slate? That's worth the world to me. I wanted to know:

a) Is there a tactful way to express to a new employer "Hey so can I actually start in like a MONTH from now?" Is it as simple as saying: "Thanks for the offer, however is there any way we can move the start date to XX/YY? Thank you."

b) Perhaps you're a hiring manager or work in HR/Talent - be honest, how poorly does the above reflect on me trying to push back the start date? When I say "I would like to give my employer three weeks notice instead of two" does it smell like BS? Will you push back? I work in an industry that is notorious for "Soooo we actually need you to start YESTERDAY" so I want to understand how this is perceived? Will it risk them rescinding a job offer? Risk getting off on the wrong foot with my new employer?

I've always understood how to negotiate a salary, which has always felt like an expression of confidence and stating that you believe you are worth more - if they disagree, so be it and can't fault someone for trying. But there's something that feels fishy and stigmatizing about asking for a later start date - feels more like an expression of laziness. But I want to be lazy, damnit! Help me be lazy. Just for a week or two - I need it.
posted by windbox to Work & Money (15 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
You just tell them the date you can start. If you wanted to take a month off after leaving your current job, that might take negotiation. If you’re talking about taking a week between jobs, it’s just not going to be a thing. If it is a thing, you might think twice about the new job.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 7:40 AM on March 29, 2019 [14 favorites]


It's extraordinarily normal to do this. A month between offer and start date isn't even weird enough for a second glance for any functional workplace. Don't lie about how much notice you have to give, just give them the start date you want and don't sweat it.
posted by brainmouse at 7:45 AM on March 29, 2019 [20 favorites]


Yeah, all you want is a week? A week is inconsequential. Two weeks is an inconvenience but a minor one.

"I'm thrilled to be starting. I can start [x]." (If push back) There are some things I need to take care of, I'm going to finish them up as quickly as possible, will be there [x.]" Don't say it's for a vacation. If pressed, there are personal/family matters that you need to get taken care of so you can start new role in optimal form. Don't lie about a long notice period.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:46 AM on March 29, 2019 [8 favorites]


Any reason why you wouldn't just state you're available from date X. If pressed explain whatever you want to explain. But the notion that they couldn't cope without you for another two to three weeks says more about their operating model and culture than anything else and I might prefer not to go into an organisation that would seriously take a different view.
posted by koahiatamadl at 7:54 AM on March 29, 2019 [2 favorites]


Any recruiter or hiring manager worth their salt is going to make sure that your requested start date (within reason) is NBD. Even the jobs that say, "Need someone immediately!" doesn't mean, "Your start date is the next Monday after you quit." People need time for various things, such as finishing up their current positions, taking much-needed time off, or just life stuff in general.

I wouldn't even make it a negotiation, TBH. I'd say, "I accept, and I can start on XX-XX-XXXX." If they want to push it to a later date (that just happened with my current, new job, where I gave 3 weeks to start, and they asked me to come in a month after the job was offered), that's where you start figuring things out, but generally, unless there's a huge project that's required right away, they'll work with your start date.
posted by xingcat at 8:15 AM on March 29, 2019 [1 favorite]


Wait until you have an offer in writing, and then express your usual happiness with a quick note of when you could start. If there is other negotiating to do, put your start date first as something sort of delineated from the negotiation. For example, "I'm so happy to receive an offer and excited to work with you. I am available to start on June 5, 2019." If they question it at all, you're going to need to push back and say, "I understand, and I am also eager to start at [Company]. However, I am available to start on June 5th, and unfortunately not sooner." If they're personable, you can probably get away with something like, "My work-life balance has been unbalanced and I need a reset to take care of personal matters so that I can be 100% dedicated to this job when I start."
posted by juniperesque at 8:17 AM on March 29, 2019 [8 favorites]


You don't need to do a lot of elaborate explaining here. It's not as big a deal as you're thinking. Last time I changed jobs, they asked me in the last interview when I could start if offered the job and I said "three weeks from the offer date" or something like that, and nobody batted an eye.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:49 AM on March 29, 2019 [2 favorites]


I left a job after 16 years and moved cross country to be with family and start a new job. The original plan for me was to give myself a month between the end date of my previous job and the start of my new job, but then I realized I really wanted and needed more time to decompress and settle in after such a huge life change. I asked my new boss if I could start 2 weeks later than originally planned, and it was not a problem. I'm so glad I did that.

Now the caveat was that the new position was not replacing a current employee, so that may have made a difference.

Caveat #2 - from the get go, my discussion to start the new job was not for a position that stated "Start date on XXXX, 2019." The start date, from the very beginning, was negotiable.
posted by HeyAllie at 8:56 AM on March 29, 2019


I am a hiring manager and this is no big deal. As a matter fact in the places I've hired people, the start date was never considered to be something that we would ever pressure anyone on (so long as it was within a month or two?) Myself and all the other managers and directors never once even considered that the start date was something that was ours to negotiate.

So basically you state the date you can start on your timetable because any manager and recruiter at a business worth working for would consider it rude as hell to pressure you to move your start date to something that accommodated us over you. Your start date belongs to you.
posted by nikaspark at 9:11 AM on March 29, 2019 [1 favorite]


I also hire people and I wouldn’t even bat an eye if someone gave a start date up to a month out. More than that and I’d still be accepting as long as their wasn’t some critical timeline that would be accepted.

In my experience, the more specialized or senior the role, the longer the expected lead up time to a start date. For a lot of roles I would actually wonder about a candidate (and not in a good way) that didn’t require at least a couple weeks of transition time.
posted by scrute at 9:25 AM on March 29, 2019 [1 favorite]


I don't know your field, but this is really common in mine -- anywhere from a few weeks to several months off between jobs. A good employer is not going to fight you about a week or two to recharge. If they do, you'll never get a real vacation when working for them, either, and you'll be back here in a couple years writing a new version of this same question.
posted by basalganglia at 9:57 AM on March 29, 2019 [1 favorite]


You're overthinking this. "Here's when I can start." You don't need to give a reason.

If they push back in a way that suggests the offer is at stake then you can rethink whether you need the holiday/how much you want the job, etc. They probably won't though.
posted by caek at 10:04 AM on March 29, 2019


“I received the offer letter and am delighted to accept. I will be able to start after Date X and look forward to joining the team and working with you.”
posted by sallybrown at 10:22 AM on March 29, 2019


If an employer really really really needs you immediately, they will be able to compensate you for doing so. I have seen this happen exactly once in my career, where a person was paid a low-to-mid-five figure bonus for advancing their start date by two weeks. In all other cases, the employer will ask for a quick start, but then back off immediately when the (to-be-)employee asked for more time.
posted by saeculorum at 10:58 AM on March 29, 2019


In 3/4 job moves in my career, I was able to specify a start date 1-2 months out and it was NBD. They just filled in the date on the paperwork and called it good.

The fourth one they pushed back on, saying they really really needed me in two weeks, and I was able to get a small signing bonus and a week of vacation later in the year that wouldn’t count against my vacation time.
posted by a device for making your enemy change his mind at 7:04 PM on March 29, 2019


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