Help with picking
March 22, 2019 10:23 AM   Subscribe

My kid obsessively picks the dog's scabs, causing scars. This is part of a larger set of behaviors that we have many strategies for, including medication & therapy, so we're set on that score. What I'm looking to add to our toolbox are more alternatives to picking that give her the same satisfaction. Stuff she can peel, pick, etc.

This sequin bracelet was modestly helpful.

I'm familiar with the range of fidget products made for kids on the spetrum and haven't found something that is quite what we're looking for. Like, the idea is something you could peel off repeatedly, instead of peeling off the dogs scabs.
posted by anonymous to Grab Bag (28 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
How old is she? I'm a bit of a picker as an adult and I really liked messing around with Colorforms or similar, you could give her some sort of board with vinyl stickers that could go on and off again (or be stuck to refrigerators, windows, etc)
posted by jessamyn at 10:27 AM on March 22, 2019 [3 favorites]


How old is the kid?

There are a variety of reusable stickers, books, pads etc.

Here’s one from Melissa and Doug on Amazon.
posted by SaltySalticid at 10:27 AM on March 22, 2019


Oh you know? I'd never connected these two behaviors in my life, but now it's clear:

In elementary school, we had to wait in the lobby if we arrived before class started, and there was a bulletin board (some kind of covered cork). I loved pulling the staples out of this wall! It's like picking a scab because you have to work at it to get it started, and then it would get easier and eventually slide out. You also wouldn't know how hard it would be to get a staple out -- some of them had gone in sideways, some of them were barely in, some were perfectly straight. There was a great variety of staples too.

So yeah, a bulletin board with staples slammed in in different ways might, at least, save the poor dog, but not your kid's fingernails.

I don't think sticker books would scratch this same itch -- what am I supposed to do with the sticker? And it's not even going to be hard to peel off, and all of them are going to be the same difficulty of peeling off.
posted by batter_my_heart at 10:34 AM on March 22, 2019 [12 favorites]


I used to spread a thin layer of white Elmer's glue on my hands, let it dry for a while, and then peel it off.
posted by jamjam at 10:40 AM on March 22, 2019 [39 favorites]


Pop bubble wrap bubbles! Oh so satisfying.

Paint fingernails and toenails with a couple of layers of colored and clear polish, wait for them to dry, and then pick them off.
posted by HeyAllie at 11:08 AM on March 22, 2019 [4 favorites]


OMG me too, jamjam! :) Nthing this. It was very satisfying.
posted by Melismata at 11:12 AM on March 22, 2019 [2 favorites]


Would a sticker by number book help? I imagine that peeling the stickers up might be very satisfying.
posted by OrangeDisk at 11:13 AM on March 22, 2019 [1 favorite]


Not sure how old your kid is but maybe anything crafty would help? So zoom out a bit on the specific activity they are doing and come up with something to keep their hands busy and brain distracted. My 9yo has recently gotten into loom knitting and that has been a nice calming activity. Other things that might be good would be beading (traditional and perler), latch hooking, embroidery, or model building. (And please ask an admin to remove if this isn't helpful. I just know that any of these things help with my tendency to pick.)
posted by dawkins_7 at 11:40 AM on March 22, 2019 [2 favorites]


A friend's kid used to love picking and peeling the soft nobbly ends off of bobby pins. And then he'd twist the metal into fun shapes and figures!

Same kid: mom would put varying sizes of Elmer's glue and rubber cement patches on a soft viny placemat she bought at Goodwill. Peeling off the bits and bobs would occupy him for a good long while.
posted by cooker girl at 11:45 AM on March 22, 2019 [3 favorites]


I used to enjoy literally untying knots from metal necklaces that had gotten jumbled together.
posted by nakedmolerats at 12:15 PM on March 22, 2019 [5 favorites]


You can get pilled sweaters cheaply at Goodwill/your local thrift shop. Kid can pick off all the pills and y'all can either wear them or re-donate! I looooove picking at sweaters (I'm a picker too, though it's usually at my own skin, not the animals').
posted by fiercecupcake at 12:16 PM on March 22, 2019 [1 favorite]


I kind of having a picking thing too and batter-my-heart's description of the appeal is extremely accurate. The satisfying feeling of *making progress* also makes it something that's not easy to replicate. Maybe something that plays on that aspect instead like untangling yarn (or maybe tangling it up/knitting)? Or those puzzles that are tangled up pieces of metal.
posted by bleep at 12:24 PM on March 22, 2019 [1 favorite]


Nthing the glue hand! It was the best.

Also nthing knots. Do you knit or crochet? Maybe let the kid untangle and ball up your yarn for you. Or get some thin rope and tie it into the most complicated knots you can think of, and let the kid pick it out.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 12:26 PM on March 22, 2019 [1 favorite]


I’ve had students over the years who had issues with picking scabs.

Glue blobs on various surfaces (vinyl, fabric, plastic containers, poster board) work really well. You can mix glitter or other powdery substances into the glue to make it crustier.

Wrap tape, (especially cheap masking tape that shreds easily) in layers around a pencil or popsicle stick. Vary the layers, otherwise it can come off in one long strip, which is not what you want. You can also vary different types of tape for a greater challenge. Glue-soaked yarn wrapped around a stick is good, too. You can write a little message or part of a puzzle on the popsicle stick so that it’s revealed when all the tape is off, but keep in mind that that can lead to the development of a fiery passion for tape sticks.
posted by corey flood at 12:31 PM on March 22, 2019 [5 favorites]


Is she old enough for nail polish? Once it gets a little chipped I want it OFF, which makes it pretty satisfying to pick because you are making progress, as bleep mentioned.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 12:36 PM on March 22, 2019


popitpal.com ??? YMMV
posted by runincircles at 12:49 PM on March 22, 2019


There is peelable nail polish.
posted by beccaj at 1:12 PM on March 22, 2019 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I was thinking color some glue and put on a doll, or dog type toy (pound puppies still a thing?) So it's pickable but not hurting, but adjacent.

Good luck!

Editing to add that picking off traditional nail polish is not optimal for nail health.
posted by PistachioRoux at 1:26 PM on March 22, 2019


I used to also like seam-ripping, cutting up old clothes/jeans with a seam ripper. The purpose was to use the fabric but I rarely actually got around to that because the seam ripping was so satisfying.
posted by bleep at 1:39 PM on March 22, 2019 [2 favorites]


Renowned picker here. The thing that stops me is new acrylic tips or press-on nails, because it ruins the satisfaction and then the habit breaks. This might not be practical or appropriate, but it’s been helpful in a way redirection hasn’t ever.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 1:42 PM on March 22, 2019 [3 favorites]


I have a paint tray I think may help. It’s made of plastic with a surface that is supposed to release paint once it’s dried in the tray. In practice, you have to work at it: some big swaths come off in a single go, but other areas require digging/scratching with fingernails.

I don’t see the one I have, which is plastic, on quick googling; there is one with a Teflon coating on Amazon but that might release paint a little TOO easily. I think I bought mine at an Ace Hardware.
posted by lakeroon at 1:53 PM on March 22, 2019 [2 favorites]


How old is the child? Can she be trusted to de-seed pomegranates?
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 2:27 PM on March 22, 2019


Labels on (empty) jars and bottles. Especially the ones where if you peel the labels really slowly, they come off cleanly, but if not, they leave a mess of glue behind. Also sticky price tags.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 2:51 PM on March 22, 2019 [2 favorites]


I used to really enjoy peeling the silver foil off of gum wrappers and then sticking it onto surfaces.
posted by delight at 4:51 PM on March 22, 2019 [2 favorites]


Paint fingernails and toenails with a couple of layers of colored and clear polish, wait for them to dry, and then pick them off.

As somebody who has, broadly, a picking problem, I would counsel against using anything as alternatives that would be in themselves really bad habits to pick up. These things can be really "sticky" and hard to get rid of, and encouraging doing it with nail polish could seriously impede her ability to wear nail polish later. If she isn't already picking at something like that, don't encourage her to start.

But there are other things that don't have problems like this. Peel-off face masks can be overdone, but it's probably not a problem to enjoy them. Or things that don't have close analogues to normal things people do and need to not pick--like, if you do nontoxic face paint on her arm or something like that, there's not really a common thing of painting your arms that she might have trouble with afterwards.

Snack foods that come in layers were always kind of a Thing for me to disassemble. KitKats. Peeling and picking apart oranges or grapefruit into the little individual juice vesicles. That's the kind of thing that if you never stop doing it, it's kind of odd as an adult but not disruptive.
posted by Sequence at 6:54 PM on March 22, 2019 [3 favorites]


I was/am a disassembler of oranges. Very satisfying. Also dandelion stems and seed pods.

I was going to agree with the colorforms! There are some great shape ones available. (Also a newly reissued Holly Hobbie set) Won’t work if child is a toddler who might eat them, though.

It can also be useful to look at positive reinforcement for extinguishing a harmful habit. A great deal depends on the age of the child. For a young child, this takes the form of trying to avoid allowing the child in casual contact with the dog where this can happen; when it inevitably does begin, redirect to another, more positive while being careful not to make a big deal out of the unwanted behavior (negative attention is still attention).

Cheering you on! Gosh, parenting can be such a rough job sometimes.
posted by Nancy_LockIsLit_Palmer at 10:03 AM on March 23, 2019


Also a picker. I made some potholders with a traditional potholder loom and it satisfied a similar thing because sometimes you have to undo it. And it kept my hands busy.
Can the dog be brushed?
I have a wood stove and I make fire starter with sawdust and old candles. I hand shredded a bunch of bark and it satisfying.
I had some translucent paint that we used to decorate windows and scraping it off was appealing.
Picking locks that have a combination. I have gotten them at thrift shops.

I do best when I've had exercise, sleep, and not so much stress, but you may know that.
posted by theora55 at 3:16 PM on March 23, 2019 [1 favorite]


Shelling seed corn, peeling eggs and snapping beans were my things as a kid.
posted by seekingsethplate at 7:34 PM on March 23, 2019


« Older Requesting resolution for a code of conduct...   |   Sites like xovain? Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.