Movies & TV series with particularly warm, nurturing family interactions

March 9, 2019 2:00 PM

I'm working on changing my "preoccupied/anxious" attachment style to one of "earned secure attachment" using a process that relies on guided imagery and meditation. Having grown up in a very conflict-riven narcissistic family, I don't have a lot of good memories to riff off of in order to create a relationship and attachment to an "idealized parental figure."

I'd like to have scenes from movies or TV shows featuring particularly warm and nurturing family interactions or activities that I can borrow from and insert into my guided meditations. Scenes where the parents are particular caring and attuned to the child and the child is made to feel safe and cherished. Thanks!

posted by Auden to Health & Fitness (37 answers total)

You are looking for specific scenes, not just the name of the show, right? Do they need to be available in a particular place, such as youtube?

I hope this goes well for you!
posted by Emmy Rae at 2:04 PM on March 9, 2019

Response by poster: Either way - whole shows or movies or particularly moving scenes. I've got Netflix and HBO (I'm thinking probably not Game of Thrones episodes ...) and I'm pretty adept at finding anything recommended in general, I think.

In the guided meditations, I'm asked to repeatedly conjure up different scenes at a variety of ages which depict an interaction where the parent is attuned to the child's emotional needs, or focused on the child's sense of safety and ease, or where the parent is encouraging of the child's independence and exploration, things like this. I think for the re-attachment process to work the scenes need to have a strong emotional resonance, and that's what I'm looking for.
posted by Auden at 2:19 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

In Star Trek:Deep Space 9 The familial interactions between Captain Sisko and his son Jake are one of the warmest Father-son interactions on any show ever.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 2:23 PM on March 9, 2019 [9 favorites]

My favorite parent/child relationship on any show ever is the one between Veronica and her dad Keith on Veronica Mars. It's warm, loving, mutually supportive, and just a delight to watch. (Veronica's mom is absent and they do not have a good relationship, though, if that's a dealbreaker - but that relationship doesn't come up nearly as much.)
posted by showbiz_liz at 2:30 PM on March 9, 2019 [10 favorites]

On Netflix you can watch "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" and the dad and daughter have some good moments where the dad understands what the daughter needs and vocalizes it, and she just kind of soaks it in. Especially the diner scene maybe 2/3 or 3/4 through the movie, when the main couple is not together.

One Day at a Time (also Netflix) is full of these moments, especially season 1 when the daughter comes out as a lesbian and her family is loving and supportive. Also, in Season 3, episode 8 there are some family issues that are resolved when the mothers tell their daughters "you are enough".
posted by Emmy Rae at 2:38 PM on March 9, 2019 [10 favorites]

I love Family Affair for just this reason. I watch season 1 over and over. It’s from the 60s and a product of its times, but Uncle Bill is unbelievably loving and gentle. It’s especially meaningful to me that the single parent is male. Plus Mr. French.
posted by probably not that Karen Blair at 2:50 PM on March 9, 2019 [4 favorites]

I agree that the Netflix version of One Day at a Time, does a great job with the healthy parent-child relationship, especially in season 3. There is an episode on anxiety, with the message being that a good parent will demonstrate skills of coping with anxiety rather than pretending that they don't experience it. I also especially liked the episode of Victor's wedding. Elena's public and private toasts we're powerful and well performed - and her father's apology for the pain he caused her made me cry.
posted by kbar1 at 2:50 PM on March 9, 2019 [6 favorites]

There's that old Roseanne scene where Darlene hits puberty and tries to get rid of her sports equipment, thinking she has to start being a girly girl like her sister, and Roseanne tells her no, Becky does that stuff because she likes to, you can be however you want, these are girl things as long as a girl is using them.
posted by Flannery Culp at 2:53 PM on March 9, 2019 [6 favorites]

Response by poster: Oh, I just thought of something - I don't know how much of a difference it makes, but I'm a male.

So kind, caring nurturing relationships between father and son would be very valuable I think. (and thanks for all the suggestions everyone!)
posted by Auden at 2:55 PM on March 9, 2019

I love most of the parent interactions on Parenthood.
posted by Weeping_angel at 3:05 PM on March 9, 2019 [5 favorites]

The Courtship of Eddie's Father has a lovely father-son dynamic.
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 3:05 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

This is problematic because of the actor involved but the Cosby show really took care to do exactly this - I would think the interactions with the Dad and Theo (the son) would be a helpful model if you can get past the fact that the Dad was played by Bill Cosby.
posted by metahawk at 3:06 PM on March 9, 2019

I don’t remember the exact episodes or scenes, but there are lovely, lovely scenes and episodes in Glee that show the evolving relationship between Kurt and his dad.
posted by third word on a random page at 3:11 PM on March 9, 2019 [9 favorites]

Came in to say One Day at a Time and Parenthood (which gives you warm, loving parental interactions across several families).

The Fosters (although it's a lesbian couple, so not a ton of father figures). Sandy and Kirsten Cohen from The OC.

A slightly different direction, but on Masterchef Junior, Gordon Ramsey just lights up around children and he's kind, encouraging, has high standards, comforts them when they have problems, teaches them, and loves to goof around with them. The kids on the show adore him and you can tell he's a great dad. (When he does episodes of his other shows where kids are the restaurant customers for the day, you see it too -- he'll be screaming at the adults, but when he talks to the kids he gets down on their level, he lights up, even shy kids open up to him, he laughs constantly, he just really enjoys them.)

But yeah, having grown up in a super-tight big family with fantastic parents, Parenthood is the one TV show that I've ever felt like captured what it's like being in my family. And it's tops for highly emotional moments that bring on the tears!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 3:24 PM on March 9, 2019 [8 favorites]

'Breaking Away' (1979) kinda stands out for depicting a relatively functional family dynamic, with some decent father & son dealing with things later in the film.
posted by ovvl at 3:27 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

‘Brooklyn Bridge’ is available on YouTube—I think it was only on for one season but I remember loving it for the kind, warm family relationships. Two young boys in (I think) the late 1940s—their family lives in an apartment in the same building as the grandparents —it’s really lovely and sometimes pretty funny. Marion Ross plays the grandma! Definitely fits the “safe and cherished” vibe.
posted by bookmammal at 3:42 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

It gets increasingly soap opera-ish but the entire run of Boy Meets World has a ton of this. There are multiple positive adult role models, some are bio parents and some are teachers and other authority figures. There are crappy adults too and complicated ones. The protagonists grow up (and we get some added) and we see a lot of change in their personalities and strengths and the way their parental figures interact with them changes in healthy ways too.
posted by Mizu at 3:54 PM on March 9, 2019 [3 favorites]

There's a Little House On The Prairie Christmas episode that is totally sweet and warm. It's this one:

I think you have to watch the whole thing to understand how sweet the final scenes are.
posted by crapples at 4:09 PM on March 9, 2019

It's father-daughter and mother-daughter, but the Taylor family interactions on Friday Night Lights are nice. I like it because they're not perfect; they overreact to things at times, but they realize and acknowledge mistakes. You always get the sense of real caring, but it feels authentic - not "we wrote this to be a great parent-child relationship".
posted by kevinbelt at 4:33 PM on March 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

I didn't realize this was what I was getting from it until many episodes in, but warm and nurturing and securely attached is exactly the kind of feeling I would describe the family in Bob's Burgers as having. I actually thought to myself at one point, wow, this is an example of a unconditionally loving family.

It's a long series, and it's more a pervasive atmosphere than a particular scene, though.
posted by wym at 5:32 PM on March 9, 2019 [16 favorites]

Also, Greg and Steven of Steven Universe have a pretty good father-son relationship, and Greg is a source of support and comfort as Steven goes through some trying times.
posted by wym at 5:35 PM on March 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

Seconding Bob’s Burgers. It’s been a long time, but I feel like the dad on My So-Called Life was pretty good.
posted by schadenfrau at 6:14 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

If a nearly century-old silent movie could fit the bill, try Chaplin's The Kid.
posted by hoist with his own pet aardvark at 8:03 PM on March 9, 2019

Fresh Off the Boat, especially the school dance episode!
posted by smorgasbord at 8:10 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

I know it's super cheesy, but Full House. I grew up in a similar family dynamic as yourself, so watching that show was slightly therapeutic for me when I was feeling down as a kid (and even now). They genuinely cared about each other and wanted to be together, which I wasn't getting from a sociopathic father irl.

Also thirding Bob's Burgers! Family goals tbh.
posted by littlesq at 8:20 PM on March 9, 2019 [2 favorites]

This is more "adult interpersonal relationships" than "securely-attached families", but I wanted to throw in the show Easy on Netflix (there's two seasons available at the moment with a third coming out at some point this year) as a suggestion. As someone who also grew up in a family whose dynamic had some narcissism/conflict issues, and who's done years of therapy to learn how to trust people and how to talk things out in a healthier way, that show is SO helpful and calming. There are maybe half a dozen "main" characters, whose stories (though they intersect to a small degree) are largely separate and focused on one episode at a time, plus some one-off episodes. I've found that it shows a lot of healthy communication and examples of what it looks like to work through conflicts without the usual drama/relationship fractures/etc.

The only show I could liken it to - in terms of the calm and warm feeling you get from watching it - is Parenthood, which I see was recommended in a few comments already. Even if you just want a show to watch that's good without leaving you feeling anxious or reminded of fights and stuff, I'd check it out sometime.
posted by second banana at 10:31 PM on March 9, 2019 [1 favorite]

Switched at Birth which is a great show with a bad title and has lovely, very specific parent/child relationships in every combination (the two mom-dad pairs, the titular daughters who were switched and function as the show goes on as sisters, and an older brother). Jane the Virgin, the heart of which is the wonderful relationship between Jane, her mom, and her grandma. Thirding Bob's Burgers, and ODAAT.
posted by colorblock sock at 10:59 PM on March 9, 2019

Frasier isn't perfect and now a little dated (1993-2003) but the warm relationships that develop between Frasier, Martin and Niles over the course of those 11 seasons is very warm and I still watch it for that and remember that they're boors to Roz and Daphne because back then you could be. And get away with it. But for me, the overwhelming sense of loving family, compromise and laugh out loud comedy wins out.
posted by humph at 5:30 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]

The mention of Frasier above reminded me of a specific scene you could look for - I don't remember what episode, but it's one where both Frasier and Martin (the father) have had romantic disappointments, and Niles is finally splitting with his wife (probably this is in the 3rd season then). All three end up at Frasier's apartment, complaining about each of their love lives in turn - but the part I remember is the very last scene, where all three end up on the balcony, making this sort of toast like "here's to us Crane men, romantic losers" or something like that. It felt like some kind of mutual acknowledgement that "at least we all love each other".

Describing the scene in a bit of detail in the hopes that someone else more familiar with the show will link it!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:42 AM on March 10, 2019

The scene where David comes out to his mom in Six Feet Under is a perfect depiction of open communication and love.
posted by veery at 6:01 AM on March 10, 2019

I think every episode (or at least most episodes) of Major Crimes has scenes with Captain Sharon Rayder parenting her ward (and later adopted son) Rusty in a compassionate and wise manner. Here's a collection of scenes (no dialogue). Lieutenant Louis Provenza and Lieutenant Andy Flynn act as father stand ins to him throughout the show.
posted by purplesludge at 7:46 AM on March 10, 2019 [2 favorites]

oh gosh Steven Universe.
posted by taltalim at 8:37 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]

Joyce and Buffy gave me this on BtVS.
posted by coffeeand at 10:09 AM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]

Check out This Is Us.
posted by woodvine at 11:00 AM on March 10, 2019

The early Simpsons episode "Moaning Lisa" is great for this. Marge doesn't understand Lisa, and she doesn't quite know how to help her solve her problems, but, by gosh, she loves her and fights for her.
posted by praemunire at 3:10 PM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]

Call the Midwife's Fred and Violet Buckle and informally adopted Reggie, and especially the Turner family are lovely.
posted by jgirl at 7:30 PM on March 10, 2019 [1 favorite]

I believe that Frasier episode is S5 E13
posted by bunderful at 2:46 PM on April 4, 2019