Having trouble finding the right mattress/topper for back pain

February 27, 2019 9:40 PM

I need help figuring out how to get a mattress/mattress topper combination that won't cause back pain. Everything I try seems to be too soft or too firm.

I used to have a mattress I was happy with, but it was 15 years old and I got rid of it. I got a Zinus memory foam mattress instead. It was way too soft, and it gave me lower back pain. I got rid of it, and got a cheap coil mattress instead. It was too firm, and it gave me upper back pain. So I'm assuming that I can tell whether the mattress is too soft or too firm by the type of back pain I get.

I got a Duck and Goose mattress topper, 2 inches thick and filled with synthetic down. Lower back pain, too soft. Then I got a Pure Green latex mattress topper, 2 inches medium firmness. Upper back pain, too firm.

I can't go to the mattress store because I'm seriously ill and housebound. I have to do this over the Internet. One option is to keep trying to find the correct balance between firm and soft. ILD is a number that is supposed to tell you how firm a mattress is. The Zinus mattress doesn't have an ILD listed, but memory foam mattresses are usually about 15. The Pure Green topper has an ILD of 30. So maybe I should be aiming for a mattress topper that is about ILD 23? I can't find one like that, though.

I would rather not spend a lot of money, of course, but I am getting desperate to solve this problem. So I would be willing to spend up to $500 on a mattress topper.

Or maybe I should be doing something else altogether? Any advice welcome. Thank you.

posted by Surprised By Bees to Home & Garden (5 answers total)

You have my sympathies -- I really struggled with this exact back-and-forth (too firm! too soft! pain either way!) for a number of years. I finally settled on an innerspring mattress with a gel top layer (I think it's a Serta), which got me about 70% of the way there. But ultimately, there were two other components that made the difference for me:

1. I finally got the right pillow. This shredded memory foam pillow allows you to customize its height, density, etc., to accommodate exactly how you sleep (you need a different type of support if you sleep on your side vs. your back, for example).

2. I started working with an Alexander Technique teacher on my posture, including my sleep posture! (Yeah, I know, who knew there was such a thing?) Turns out that my dominant sleep position (on my side) was based on me habitually twisting my neck very, very slightly, but enough that I was repeatedly pinching a nerve in my shoulder while I slept. My AT teacher gently adjusted my head position so that I could feel what it was actually like to keep my neck straight while lying down, and within a week or two I'd trained myself to sleep that way consistently.

Sorry that this isn't telling you much about what specific mattress to get, but maybe this helps with a couple other pieces of the puzzle. Good luck!
posted by the return of the thin white sock at 12:01 AM on February 28, 2019

I had serious back pain from compression fractures. I bought a quality old fashioned coil mattress from Sears. I topped it with a two inch feather topper from Bed, Bath and Beyond.
I tucked a regular cotton polyester mattress protector and top sheet around the feather topper. Over all that was a flat sheet and duvet. I did all that because I was unable to lift the mattress for a contour sheet or to tuck in the top sheet. Surprisingly it all worked.
After about a year I was able to do without the feather mattress topper. The topper was soft and it cushioned all the vertebrae, and was not hot. This is probably not your problem, but I’m throwing it in here in case someone else is searching for a solution.

Another for what it’s worth. My old massage therapist said most back pain is actually front pain. So I second working with a good massage therapist or physical therapist. And trying different pillows and sleep positions. I now have a collection of pillow with different stuffings, thickness and firmness that I arrange around my body at night.
posted by Sunday Morning at 7:10 AM on February 28, 2019

I would like to amend the previous post now that I am caffeinated. I am sorry you are suffering. Back pain is the pits, being house bound is the pits. I hope that you recover soon.

One other thing that helped me was the simple hack of raising the height of my chair with pillows.

Good luck.
posted by Sunday Morning at 8:01 AM on February 28, 2019

Try some accessory supportive pillows. They’re cheaper and more customizable than another mattress. I have some similar to this and this. I usually sleep with one under my knees and sometimes one under my lower back. You may also consider a sleeping wedge. For a long time, I found this type of pillow very helpful for neck issues, until I didn’t. Go figure.

Also, consider taking an Iyengar yoga class. It’s yoga with many props and it can be especially helpful in figuring out how your body is best supported.
posted by defreckled at 2:27 PM on February 28, 2019

Response by poster: Thank you for these thoughtful responses. I will consider all of these possibilities. Sunday Morning, thank you for your sympathy. It's pretty mild back pain.

I think I will do at least one more round of trying different mattress pads, because my old mattress did not hurt my back, so I know it's possible. But if that doesn't work, I will consider some of these other solutions two.
posted by Surprised By Bees at 8:16 PM on February 28, 2019