Quit job with nothing lined up or tough it out? (design, tech, career)
February 19, 2019 11:30 PM Subscribe
I saw some similar questions on MetaFilter but wanted perspective on my particular situation -
I currently work at a small tech company and the general environment feels a pretty toxic. I have about 4 years of experience ((3 at this company) in my field (design work).
Should I quit and take a break to recover? Or tough it out?
I love the work itself, but the environment has progressively gotten me more and more stressed even though I've tried to deal with it in various ways. Some of the senior level people were manipulative, rude in private, and talked to some of us (esp women) as if we were 5 year olds even though they were wrong and we were just trying to do our jobs. I've also witnessed other women coworkers get constantly delegated menial tasks way below their role, interrupted and ignored in meetings. Team members who take credit for others' work, or throw you under the bus when they make a mistake. Several of my teammates have quit without anything lined up, and told me privately it was because of this treatment. Upper management has made some attempts to correct this when it was brought up, but it's barely made a dent since it seems they keep hiring more of the same types of people.
I've been having anxiety and insomnia for awhile now, and my health has gone downhill (tired and rundown all day, short temper, breaking out all the time, skin getting dry and blotchy, infections take a long time to heal, general feeling that everything just feels dull. Also other physical problems from long hours of computer work). I've tried taking vacation, lessening my work load, taking advantage of some work from home. Even though now I work very reasonable hours and have a situation that most people would be envious of (very flexible, toxic people don't bother me anymore), I feel like the damage has been done and a lot of my coworkers are also always stressed/fearful, and I pick that up when I'm around them. Even at home and on weekends, I am always tense and feel stuck.
So the two solutions I came up with are:
1) look for a new job while toughing it out at this one, but since I'm anxious and cranky all the time already, I think it will come out in the interviews (and interviewing is adding even more stress). I also don't want to accept a bad job out of desperation. But I worked pretty hard to get where I am and my original plan was to go from this job to a better company with these credentials.
2) The other option is to just quit and take a few months to recover. I think my health has gotten to a point where it will take that long just to get back to normal. If I go straight to another job, or even ask for a month off in between, I think I will still be at a subpar level of health and that's not a good place to start something new. I do have at least a year's worth of expenses saved up, so I'll be able to float myself, but it will hurt looking at the savings I worked hard to accumulate disappear. There's also the worry on whether I'll be able to find a new job when I need to.
Which option do you think I should take? Also if anyone knows how the design industry is now in tech, that would be helpful in gauging my prospects. Is 3-4 years in the field working at small companies enough to make up for a gap in the resume? I heard it's more common in tech to take short career breaks. I would probably also travel and learn new skills if I did quit.
I love the work itself, but the environment has progressively gotten me more and more stressed even though I've tried to deal with it in various ways. Some of the senior level people were manipulative, rude in private, and talked to some of us (esp women) as if we were 5 year olds even though they were wrong and we were just trying to do our jobs. I've also witnessed other women coworkers get constantly delegated menial tasks way below their role, interrupted and ignored in meetings. Team members who take credit for others' work, or throw you under the bus when they make a mistake. Several of my teammates have quit without anything lined up, and told me privately it was because of this treatment. Upper management has made some attempts to correct this when it was brought up, but it's barely made a dent since it seems they keep hiring more of the same types of people.
I've been having anxiety and insomnia for awhile now, and my health has gone downhill (tired and rundown all day, short temper, breaking out all the time, skin getting dry and blotchy, infections take a long time to heal, general feeling that everything just feels dull. Also other physical problems from long hours of computer work). I've tried taking vacation, lessening my work load, taking advantage of some work from home. Even though now I work very reasonable hours and have a situation that most people would be envious of (very flexible, toxic people don't bother me anymore), I feel like the damage has been done and a lot of my coworkers are also always stressed/fearful, and I pick that up when I'm around them. Even at home and on weekends, I am always tense and feel stuck.
So the two solutions I came up with are:
1) look for a new job while toughing it out at this one, but since I'm anxious and cranky all the time already, I think it will come out in the interviews (and interviewing is adding even more stress). I also don't want to accept a bad job out of desperation. But I worked pretty hard to get where I am and my original plan was to go from this job to a better company with these credentials.
2) The other option is to just quit and take a few months to recover. I think my health has gotten to a point where it will take that long just to get back to normal. If I go straight to another job, or even ask for a month off in between, I think I will still be at a subpar level of health and that's not a good place to start something new. I do have at least a year's worth of expenses saved up, so I'll be able to float myself, but it will hurt looking at the savings I worked hard to accumulate disappear. There's also the worry on whether I'll be able to find a new job when I need to.
Which option do you think I should take? Also if anyone knows how the design industry is now in tech, that would be helpful in gauging my prospects. Is 3-4 years in the field working at small companies enough to make up for a gap in the resume? I heard it's more common in tech to take short career breaks. I would probably also travel and learn new skills if I did quit.
It sounds like the place is damaging you - in all areas. I (male), not in IT but in landscape architecture, worked in a really toxic place; sure I learned some cool things (and got paid ok) but it really was poisonous, and for what?. I left as I heard they intended to shut down and walk away - so I left and set up my own thing - it's been marginal but at least it's my own, and iti's now busy and even fun, and I only have to put up with me.
Please look after yourself first.
posted by unearthed at 2:10 AM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]
Please look after yourself first.
posted by unearthed at 2:10 AM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]
I have a creative (not design) role in the tech industry, and I'm an American who works in Europe. I'm sorry to say it, but if you're working in the US, I would at least start trying to look for a new job before you quit your current one. It's not fair, but American work culture is such that the deck is stacked against you when you're searching for a new job while unemployed. I'm not saying every employer has that attitude, but it's not uncommon, either, even in the tech world.
I totally sympathize with your situation; I've been at two different companies where I was working reasonable hours, but still experiencing extreme stress that led to physical problems. But if you haven't tried applying for a new job yet, then you're assuming that your current feelings will come out during the interview process. They might not! I've run into situations where job hunting and interviewing actually help reinvigorate me, because it helped me get into an "I don't care about this place anymore" mindset that let me emotionally distance myself from my crappy job situation.
You can always start putting resumes out there and seeing if you get hits. If you find that interviews aren't going well because you're too mentally and physically unwell to deal with them, then you can always reconsider quitting without having something new lined up. But there's no harm in responding to a few job postings and seeing how it goes.
posted by neushoorn at 2:11 AM on February 20, 2019
I totally sympathize with your situation; I've been at two different companies where I was working reasonable hours, but still experiencing extreme stress that led to physical problems. But if you haven't tried applying for a new job yet, then you're assuming that your current feelings will come out during the interview process. They might not! I've run into situations where job hunting and interviewing actually help reinvigorate me, because it helped me get into an "I don't care about this place anymore" mindset that let me emotionally distance myself from my crappy job situation.
You can always start putting resumes out there and seeing if you get hits. If you find that interviews aren't going well because you're too mentally and physically unwell to deal with them, then you can always reconsider quitting without having something new lined up. But there's no harm in responding to a few job postings and seeing how it goes.
posted by neushoorn at 2:11 AM on February 20, 2019
I am a design leader in tech with 20+ years experience ranging from startups to design agencies to finance to large complex government modernization projects. I hire people. I’m the director of design at my company.
You should quit now. I wouldn’t blink at a resume gap unless there were other red flags about the candidate. Call the gap traveling or whatever you like.
Don’t tell future hiring managers about the toxic culture at this job. Use the typical bland, unemotional words to describe why you left.
Take care of yourself. Do it for yourself, as well as for your future team. If your design skills are sharp—and in line with market needs—and you generally get along well with other people in a work setting, you’re likely to find another job when you’re ready.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 3:23 AM on February 20, 2019 [6 favorites]
You should quit now. I wouldn’t blink at a resume gap unless there were other red flags about the candidate. Call the gap traveling or whatever you like.
Don’t tell future hiring managers about the toxic culture at this job. Use the typical bland, unemotional words to describe why you left.
Take care of yourself. Do it for yourself, as well as for your future team. If your design skills are sharp—and in line with market needs—and you generally get along well with other people in a work setting, you’re likely to find another job when you’re ready.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 3:23 AM on February 20, 2019 [6 favorites]
I would offer a compromise solution: start looking for a new job now, and also set yourself a deadline by which you will quit even if you haven't yet found that job. Don't quit today, but plan to quit in maybe three months regardless of whether you've completed your job search or not. That will give you an extra three months before you have to coast on your savings, and three fewer months of employment gap on your resume. And having that deadline on the horizon will probably give you some peace of mind that will make toughing it out a little longer a bit less painful. It will mean that you don't have to take the first offer you get, but can instead afford to bide your time until you get a really good one. That's what I'd do in your shoes.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 3:34 AM on February 20, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 3:34 AM on February 20, 2019 [4 favorites]
I don't know if this is feasible where you are, but what I might consider doing is quitting and taking a few months off (because you have the cash) and taking some really low-paying (or even free/volunteer) gigs during your time off. Look on Craigslist for people who need your skills for their small nonprofits. Your resume will be filled with "freelancing," no worries if it doesn't cover the bills, but no real gap, either. And hopefully you'll have a positive work experience to bolster you emotionally while you're on your break. (And if it's not positive, you can dump them quickly).
Just a thought.
posted by gideonfrog at 5:20 AM on February 20, 2019
Just a thought.
posted by gideonfrog at 5:20 AM on February 20, 2019
I have a gap on my resume that is roughly a year that I filled with random freelancing. No one seems to care. Seriously, no one has even questioned it, in interviews or otherwise. Assuming your resume isn't consistently spotty and your skills are in demand I think most employers understand transitional times as par for the course. No one is perfect. I think a lot of people overstate how big of a deal work history gaps are when you're further on in your career and have a strong employment history. Employment stints that last 3-6 months or less than a year are also becoming more common as contracting gigs become the norm in tech. If you've been with your current job for 3-4 years and you take a break to go fuck off for a while to focus on your health, yeah, that's not something I can imagine would be frowned upon, unless you also have bad references.
If you have the financial ability, leave.
posted by Young Kullervo at 5:37 AM on February 20, 2019 [4 favorites]
If you have the financial ability, leave.
posted by Young Kullervo at 5:37 AM on February 20, 2019 [4 favorites]
Context: I work in tech, and I work with designers. I'm in management now; I've mostly worked for small companies and I have a dev background.
A couple-few months' break is unremarkable. "I was at Crazy Startup, burned out a bit, decided to take some time off, now I'm excited to get back to Talent Skill Etc." If you're trying to go to the kind of company where the environment's toxic and work-life balance is terrible this may be a red flag for them, but you don't those jobs anyway.
For what it's worth, 3-4 years is a really solid stack of experience and puts you solidly into the territory where you can pitch yourself as more junior, mid-level, or senior depending on the role and your appetite for responsibility. "I was at this place, there was no room for advancement, fuck that noise what you got for me?" works as does "I had no mentorship and I'm trying to grow please let me grow."
posted by Tomorrowful at 6:18 AM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]
A couple-few months' break is unremarkable. "I was at Crazy Startup, burned out a bit, decided to take some time off, now I'm excited to get back to Talent Skill Etc." If you're trying to go to the kind of company where the environment's toxic and work-life balance is terrible this may be a red flag for them, but you don't those jobs anyway.
For what it's worth, 3-4 years is a really solid stack of experience and puts you solidly into the territory where you can pitch yourself as more junior, mid-level, or senior depending on the role and your appetite for responsibility. "I was at this place, there was no room for advancement, fuck that noise what you got for me?" works as does "I had no mentorship and I'm trying to grow please let me grow."
posted by Tomorrowful at 6:18 AM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]
As a person who hires and leads people I really like when I interview people who knew when and how to check out of capitalism for a while to recover and ponder on what they were looking for. For a data point I hired two of those people on my team and they were my highest and most capable performers because they knew when they needed to check out and go home or take a day off or leave the office to go recharge. One of those people two two years off to travel and build their own web application and another took three months off to just enjoy being alive. I love a good healthy gap on a resume where someone took care of themselves or someone else. Consistent work history is not something that I require nor do I place those resumes on a higher tier of capability.
posted by nikaspark at 8:41 AM on February 20, 2019 [6 favorites]
posted by nikaspark at 8:41 AM on February 20, 2019 [6 favorites]
I would like to offer an alternative that, if you think you could do it, would be not only better for you, but for your coworkers, company, and society as a whole.
I see a lot of plural pronouns and descriptions of this situation happening to others. Sounds like you are not alone (you never are with things like this). If you are at the point of quitting already, what do you think of collectivizing and bettering your workplace for everyone, together with your fellow oppressed coworkers?
The "higher ups" are getting away with this, and will continue treating people this way because alone, you don't have much bargaining power. People have left without anything lined up, and you are contemplating doing the same. "a lot of my coworkers are also always stressed/fearful, and I pick that up when I'm around them." - Sounds like you have people, "a lot" of people, that are just about as fed up as you are of being exploited and degraded. How about talking to them, separately perhaps at first, then in a group, let them air their grievances that you all probably share, think of ways you want things to change, and put together a list of demands. Together, you can demand real change, not token , half-assed "attempts." While you're at it, you're probably being underpaid as well as overworked. Demand to be compensated like you deserve.
Essentially, start a union. Here is an article on how
Here is a a practical and informative podcast episode on the matter.
Please consider it. I believe in you.
posted by hypercomplexsimplicity at 9:09 AM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]
I see a lot of plural pronouns and descriptions of this situation happening to others. Sounds like you are not alone (you never are with things like this). If you are at the point of quitting already, what do you think of collectivizing and bettering your workplace for everyone, together with your fellow oppressed coworkers?
The "higher ups" are getting away with this, and will continue treating people this way because alone, you don't have much bargaining power. People have left without anything lined up, and you are contemplating doing the same. "a lot of my coworkers are also always stressed/fearful, and I pick that up when I'm around them." - Sounds like you have people, "a lot" of people, that are just about as fed up as you are of being exploited and degraded. How about talking to them, separately perhaps at first, then in a group, let them air their grievances that you all probably share, think of ways you want things to change, and put together a list of demands. Together, you can demand real change, not token , half-assed "attempts." While you're at it, you're probably being underpaid as well as overworked. Demand to be compensated like you deserve.
Essentially, start a union. Here is an article on how
Here is a a practical and informative podcast episode on the matter.
Please consider it. I believe in you.
posted by hypercomplexsimplicity at 9:09 AM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]
I work in tech, and I quit my job without another lined up in January 2018. I was in the same place as you. And everything was fine! I got a job in May pretty much as soon as I started looking.
I was scared. I’m risk-averse in general, and was partly convinced that quitting might be the first step in a journey that ended up with me alone, homeless, starving. But it wasn’t! Quitting was the right choice for my career and my health.
My advice: get your finances in order. I had a six month emergency fund and a very supportive family. Have a plan for your time - maybe hold off on job hunting for a month, then spend a few weeks brainstorming and thinking about what you need and want from your career, then start looking.
You can do this. Good luck!
posted by punchtothehead at 10:43 AM on February 20, 2019 [4 favorites]
I was scared. I’m risk-averse in general, and was partly convinced that quitting might be the first step in a journey that ended up with me alone, homeless, starving. But it wasn’t! Quitting was the right choice for my career and my health.
My advice: get your finances in order. I had a six month emergency fund and a very supportive family. Have a plan for your time - maybe hold off on job hunting for a month, then spend a few weeks brainstorming and thinking about what you need and want from your career, then start looking.
You can do this. Good luck!
posted by punchtothehead at 10:43 AM on February 20, 2019 [4 favorites]
I work in tech, I'm pretty risk-averse, and left a similarly horrible environment (I'm a man and it was shitty for me, but I heard even worse from coworkers who were women) without anything lined up. I was lucky enough to be able to take a six month sabbatical, and even though it ate up the majority of my savings I'm completely convinced it was worth it. Your sense that this isn't a thing that potential employers in the industry care about is right on the money. In my case, when job searching, someone would idly ask, "hey, it looks like you left that last job a few months ago, what have you been up to in the interim?" I'd reply with something like "I've been taking a sabbatical, since it's been the first opportunity I've had since entering the workforce eight years ago to do so," and they'd be like, "oh, cool! That's a great idea!" It's a huge privilege in the context of the American labor landscape to be sure, but as a laborer I don't think there's anything at all wrong with taking advantage of it.
Being off of work that long helped me reorganize my priorities in terms of what I owe to myself, since that job was monopolizing both my time and (even more so) my mental energy to the point where my internal life was more oriented towards not losing it than proactively taking steps to make my life what I wanted it to be. With some distance, it also became clear how fucked up that environment was. Like you, I was aware of it at the time, but the sheer magnitude of it didn't become apparent until the numbing, dissociative defense mechanisms my brain was using to get through it wore off. Being fully aware of that, and calmer from having spent time away from it, made my job search criteria a lot clearer, too, in terms of knowing what signifiers of an unpleasant environment to look for and a willingness to drop out of the process immediately if I encountered them (again, I recognize that this is a privileged position to be in, but in this context you deserve to take advantage of it).
IMO, if you decide to take the "set a deadline after which you'll quit but search for jobs in the interim" approach, you should set that deadline aggressively to be the absolute minimum that you can imagine sticking it out at this hellhole, and if that's two weeks, well, that's the deadline. If you don't take that tack, I'd further recommend not getting deep into the job search for at least a few weeks: give yourself a window where the demands of capitalism aren't sucking up any of your time. My advice would be different if you weren't in a very employable position, but I think the sense of empowerment you get from leaving exclusively on your own terms is a major component of recovering from the psychological toll that this job has taken on you.
posted by invitapriore at 4:27 PM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]
Being off of work that long helped me reorganize my priorities in terms of what I owe to myself, since that job was monopolizing both my time and (even more so) my mental energy to the point where my internal life was more oriented towards not losing it than proactively taking steps to make my life what I wanted it to be. With some distance, it also became clear how fucked up that environment was. Like you, I was aware of it at the time, but the sheer magnitude of it didn't become apparent until the numbing, dissociative defense mechanisms my brain was using to get through it wore off. Being fully aware of that, and calmer from having spent time away from it, made my job search criteria a lot clearer, too, in terms of knowing what signifiers of an unpleasant environment to look for and a willingness to drop out of the process immediately if I encountered them (again, I recognize that this is a privileged position to be in, but in this context you deserve to take advantage of it).
IMO, if you decide to take the "set a deadline after which you'll quit but search for jobs in the interim" approach, you should set that deadline aggressively to be the absolute minimum that you can imagine sticking it out at this hellhole, and if that's two weeks, well, that's the deadline. If you don't take that tack, I'd further recommend not getting deep into the job search for at least a few weeks: give yourself a window where the demands of capitalism aren't sucking up any of your time. My advice would be different if you weren't in a very employable position, but I think the sense of empowerment you get from leaving exclusively on your own terms is a major component of recovering from the psychological toll that this job has taken on you.
posted by invitapriore at 4:27 PM on February 20, 2019 [1 favorite]
Quit! Reflect! Recharge! Assuming you have the savings to do so.
posted by jessca84 at 7:27 PM on February 20, 2019
posted by jessca84 at 7:27 PM on February 20, 2019
This thread is closed to new comments.
I don’t work in tech specifically, but I do work in design. I got laid off from a job after two years. Instead of taking the first job offer I got, I took extended time off (about three months) in between jobs to reassess what I wanted out of a new workplace. While the previous workplace was not at the level of toxicity as you described, I wasn’t satisfied with my day-to-day tasks, so I took some time to hike, eat, take in art and culture, and make lots of self-assessing lists. Also, kept myself sharp by applying to jobs (not intensely, but dedicated an hour or two every day to send emails, or polishing my resume). Occasionally I’d network with others in the industry, buy them coffee, and get their opinions and advice.
It paid off: I found a job that checked off what I wanted, felt inspired and insanely relaxed to make good designs because of my time off, which helped me at work too. Few ever brought up the extended gap, and I was honest when it did come up, without any judgment. The dent to my savings did hurt, but hey, that’s why it’s there. Plus, having spent three months in frugal mode, I easily refilled the emergency fund with my first couple of paychecks.
So quit. You’d be surprised by how little people care about extended gaps in the design industry, particularly if you have something to show for that time off. Plus you’ll end up being a better designer and person at the end of it. Also, during my extended break, my friend and old coworker got mad at me while we were having lunch because I was “so relaxed and carefree, it’s driving me crazy”. So if nothing else, do it to humorously spite your friends.
posted by galleta monster at 1:36 AM on February 20, 2019 [2 favorites]