How to make morning routine more bearable?
February 8, 2019 12:05 PM Subscribe
I like my job just fine once I get there and get underway. But I find I dread getting up in the morning. How can I brain hack/life hack this?
My job has okay hours, and I enjoy it and have a good team. My work-life balance is good. I’m generally happy with what I do.
So why do I hate getting up in the mornings so much? I go to bed just dreading the propsepect of waking up in the dark and getting self and toddler ready. I don’t like waking him up when he still wants to sleep. I don’t like forcing breakfast upon him when he’s still half asleep and doesn’t want to. And then getting us both dressed for the weather and out the door...
I suppose I feel guilty that due to circumstances, we can’t live life more at his pace and sleep a little longer, play at least a little bit before we hustle out the door and have a slightly less brisk start to the day. I know this is part of life, he will have to do this anyway in a year or two when he starts school, I know I am providing for him etc. But even knowing that, I just still find that hour before work to be super-hard.
What am I doing wrong here? How can I like my mornings a little bit more?
My job has okay hours, and I enjoy it and have a good team. My work-life balance is good. I’m generally happy with what I do.
So why do I hate getting up in the mornings so much? I go to bed just dreading the propsepect of waking up in the dark and getting self and toddler ready. I don’t like waking him up when he still wants to sleep. I don’t like forcing breakfast upon him when he’s still half asleep and doesn’t want to. And then getting us both dressed for the weather and out the door...
I suppose I feel guilty that due to circumstances, we can’t live life more at his pace and sleep a little longer, play at least a little bit before we hustle out the door and have a slightly less brisk start to the day. I know this is part of life, he will have to do this anyway in a year or two when he starts school, I know I am providing for him etc. But even knowing that, I just still find that hour before work to be super-hard.
What am I doing wrong here? How can I like my mornings a little bit more?
Get into bed earlier and earlier over a period of weeks, and with luck and time you'll possibly begin waking up earlier naturally. Then concentrate on ways to wake the toddlemeister up more pleasantly. Could you get one of those gradual dawn lights for his room? Play soft music? Do a Very Fun Surprise Thing for ten minutes first thing every day? Simple things like blowing bubbles or playing with clay or parent does a special puppet show or draws a picture? Or maybe you have an ongoing story starring toddler that you write and illustrate one page of each morning? Quick little fun things that he really likes that you only do in the mornings. Sometimes eat things like ice cream and cake at breakfast?
I'm sure you're already doing the obvious--prepping as much as possible the night before with clothes, food, yadda.
As for dressing for the weather. Gah... shudder. I hate even thinking about it, so I sympathize. I deeply resented having to dress to keep the weather from killing me when I lived in places with weather. The only thing I can think of to make it less vile is get a bunch of very fun outerwear. Top-of-the-line very warm socks and gloves and so on. Scarves of great beauty and whimsy. Toddler hat shaped like a strawberry. Etc.
posted by Don Pepino at 12:19 PM on February 8, 2019 [5 favorites]
I'm sure you're already doing the obvious--prepping as much as possible the night before with clothes, food, yadda.
As for dressing for the weather. Gah... shudder. I hate even thinking about it, so I sympathize. I deeply resented having to dress to keep the weather from killing me when I lived in places with weather. The only thing I can think of to make it less vile is get a bunch of very fun outerwear. Top-of-the-line very warm socks and gloves and so on. Scarves of great beauty and whimsy. Toddler hat shaped like a strawberry. Etc.
posted by Don Pepino at 12:19 PM on February 8, 2019 [5 favorites]
You're not doing anything wrong. Just know that it is very, very hard not to have the luxury of some parent time with your kiddo in the morning. He's still really little. Try getting yourself and your toddler to bed a half hour earlier so that neither of you feels so tired. Make the bedtimes as cozy as possible. His sleep cycle may change at some point, and he'll be up earlier than you! When spring and summer come, the lighter mornings will make the morning rush a bit easier. Hang in there, Mom.
posted by Elsie at 12:27 PM on February 8, 2019
posted by Elsie at 12:27 PM on February 8, 2019
No. It’s rotten. I swear humans weren’t meant to live like this with children.
I’m curious what time your wake up time is? My toddlers sleep well as wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed at exactly 7am every single day. (I made this happen with sleep training) but there are very rarely lay ins. If they need a lay in then I think they’re fighting a cold because it’s so rare. Can you tweak the sleeping so that the toddler doesn’t need to lay in or sleep longer?
That being said, my 3,5 year old had a terrible time starting kindergarten and it all went wrong. Now he has preschool from 12-3pm And i distinctly notice that this time suits him better, he seems to really enjoy his time at home in the morning. Usually by 9:15 or 9:30 we need to get out because he’s ready for some action but it’s different from when they were up at 7 and I was cramming them into snowsuits at 7:45 to be out the door and driving away by 8:05 or killer traffic.
I agree the summer will be better!
posted by catspajammies at 12:36 PM on February 8, 2019
I’m curious what time your wake up time is? My toddlers sleep well as wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed at exactly 7am every single day. (I made this happen with sleep training) but there are very rarely lay ins. If they need a lay in then I think they’re fighting a cold because it’s so rare. Can you tweak the sleeping so that the toddler doesn’t need to lay in or sleep longer?
That being said, my 3,5 year old had a terrible time starting kindergarten and it all went wrong. Now he has preschool from 12-3pm And i distinctly notice that this time suits him better, he seems to really enjoy his time at home in the morning. Usually by 9:15 or 9:30 we need to get out because he’s ready for some action but it’s different from when they were up at 7 and I was cramming them into snowsuits at 7:45 to be out the door and driving away by 8:05 or killer traffic.
I agree the summer will be better!
posted by catspajammies at 12:36 PM on February 8, 2019
I hate mornings - always have and always will. A few things I've found to be helpful:
1. Get a SAD light for your nightstand. When my alarm goes off, I hit snooze, turn on the SAD light and face it with my eyes closed for a few minutes. When I feel ready, I start opening my eyes and allow the light to penetrate my eye balls with its power. A light for your son's room might help him too!
2. Get everything ready the night before - pick out your outfits, make sure all coats, hats, keys, etc are by the door, have your lunches packed and breakfast items ready to go. I even go so far as to put a tea bag and my travel mug by the kettle the night before so I don't even have to open the cupboard. Nothing, I mean nothing, makes me crankier than having to make a decision or deal with a hassle first thing in the morning.
3. Go for a short walk. I have two dogs, so this is a necessity for me - but getting outside for about 10 minutes before I leave for work does improve my mood greatly. Unless it's 5 degrees out with freezing drizzle.
Mornings suck!!
posted by GoldenEel at 12:38 PM on February 8, 2019 [4 favorites]
1. Get a SAD light for your nightstand. When my alarm goes off, I hit snooze, turn on the SAD light and face it with my eyes closed for a few minutes. When I feel ready, I start opening my eyes and allow the light to penetrate my eye balls with its power. A light for your son's room might help him too!
2. Get everything ready the night before - pick out your outfits, make sure all coats, hats, keys, etc are by the door, have your lunches packed and breakfast items ready to go. I even go so far as to put a tea bag and my travel mug by the kettle the night before so I don't even have to open the cupboard. Nothing, I mean nothing, makes me crankier than having to make a decision or deal with a hassle first thing in the morning.
3. Go for a short walk. I have two dogs, so this is a necessity for me - but getting outside for about 10 minutes before I leave for work does improve my mood greatly. Unless it's 5 degrees out with freezing drizzle.
Mornings suck!!
posted by GoldenEel at 12:38 PM on February 8, 2019 [4 favorites]
Also, I haven’t done these things but in my fantasy world: I would wake up at 5:30 and drink a delicious coffee and do a few push ups and mini yoga session, shower and dress and then wake up kiddo and cuddle a bit and then give them a hot breakfast of scrambled eggs, beans and toast. Put them in their outfit and off we go. This never happened for me. It is there anything you can do to make your magic morning happen? Quiet time and poached eggs?
posted by catspajammies at 12:41 PM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by catspajammies at 12:41 PM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
It’s a small thing, but you mentioned waking up in the dark, and this is something that’s made a considerable difference for me: a sunrise alarm clock lamp. You set the alarm for the time you need to get up, and the light comes on slowly over the 20 minutes (or whatever) leading up to that time. By the time the alarm sound goes off, your room is decently lit, and you don’t have that awful moment of having to switch the light on and blast your poor sleepy eyes with a screaming bright onslaught of sharp stabby photons.
We’ve been using the Philips Wake-Up Light for just over a year now, and it’s really made a difference to our early mornings.
There’s a Wirecutter roundup of the best options here: https://thewirecutter.com/reviews/best-sunrise-alarm-clock/
I’ll definitely be keeping an eye on the other responses here too, though, because the war is certainly not won...
posted by Asterism at 1:01 PM on February 8, 2019 [7 favorites]
We’ve been using the Philips Wake-Up Light for just over a year now, and it’s really made a difference to our early mornings.
There’s a Wirecutter roundup of the best options here: https://thewirecutter.com/reviews/best-sunrise-alarm-clock/
I’ll definitely be keeping an eye on the other responses here too, though, because the war is certainly not won...
posted by Asterism at 1:01 PM on February 8, 2019 [7 favorites]
Does toddler go to day care? Could you get ready, prep toddler breakfast in to go containers, change the diaper and take toddler to day care, eating and changing when you arrive?
Music or news or something nice. Listening to NPR helps me wake up and enter the conscious state. Knowing the hot coffee is waiting for me helps me drag my butt out of bed. Do whatever you can to help toddler be not cranky and to provide any small comfort for you. Get up 5 minutes earlier (I know) and read a book out loud or sing kid songs to ease toddler in to the day.
Its hard to do all this on your own. You are amazing for doing it, seriously
posted by theora55 at 1:15 PM on February 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
Music or news or something nice. Listening to NPR helps me wake up and enter the conscious state. Knowing the hot coffee is waiting for me helps me drag my butt out of bed. Do whatever you can to help toddler be not cranky and to provide any small comfort for you. Get up 5 minutes earlier (I know) and read a book out loud or sing kid songs to ease toddler in to the day.
Its hard to do all this on your own. You are amazing for doing it, seriously
posted by theora55 at 1:15 PM on February 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
Oh- and I usually put them in fresh clothes for bed and then just change the leggings and undies/diapers in the morning. They like that better!
posted by catspajammies at 1:31 PM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by catspajammies at 1:31 PM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
2nding
- go to bed earlier
- sunrise alarm clock or SAD lamp
Adding
- **VITAMIN D SUPPLEMENTS**
- Playing music you like. Find a Spotify playlist with stuff that suits you (is mildly peppy and comforting) at that time of day.
- If you have LED lighting at home, switch to halogen, it’s closer to natural light
- If making coffee is a hassle for you, get one of those programmable coffee makers with a timer that lets you set it up the night before and automatically makes it for when you get up
posted by cotton dress sock at 2:41 PM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
- go to bed earlier
- sunrise alarm clock or SAD lamp
Adding
- **VITAMIN D SUPPLEMENTS**
- Playing music you like. Find a Spotify playlist with stuff that suits you (is mildly peppy and comforting) at that time of day.
- If you have LED lighting at home, switch to halogen, it’s closer to natural light
- If making coffee is a hassle for you, get one of those programmable coffee makers with a timer that lets you set it up the night before and automatically makes it for when you get up
posted by cotton dress sock at 2:41 PM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
One thing that might help is you getting ready first while tot is still sleeping. This may mean that you get up a bit earlier. But, being able to solely focus on you getting ready and then solely focus on getting tot ready, may make a big difference as opposed to you juggling getting both ready at the same time.
posted by Sassyfras at 3:31 PM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Sassyfras at 3:31 PM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
If toddler is cranky about putting on winter gear, is there any amount of it that you can save to put on outside? Toddlers don't really believe that it's cold out until they feel it. Easier with a coat than a snowsuit, but either way could put on mittens and hat or hood outside. And if you can get boots or a hat or something that is cuter than normal, that can help too. Depends on your kid whether that's frog boots, firefighter coat, or a Hello Kitty hat, but it helps more than it should. (If the frog boots work now, he will also insist on wearing them all summer.)
posted by Margalo Epps at 8:23 PM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Margalo Epps at 8:23 PM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
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posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 12:09 PM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]