What is this song in my head? Being nice to others and also insane...
December 23, 2018 6:31 AM   Subscribe

I've had a song running in my head for the last few weeks and I don't know how to google it. It was a comic song, like the sort of thing Steve Martin would sing on SNL in the late 70's, or Tom Lehrer would do (only I'm fairly certain it wasn't Tom Lehrer - it aggressively didn't rhyme).

In my memory it was either sung by one man a cappella or had only a spare (one instrument) accompaniment. No idea what they lyrics were, but it stared with something along the lines of being a good citizen - "Be kind, and gracious and caring... be thankful and loyal and true... be [something something thing] you don't know about..." at which point the meter breaks, and the suggestions of how one should be start to go into a weird or possibly anti-social place (put ____ in your ears?) .

I can hum the first few bars, which I'm attaching here (pardon my terrible voice). Help?
posted by Mchelly to Media & Arts (6 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
 
http://www.madmusic.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=4195
Steve Martin Grandmother's song

Be courteous, kind and forgiving,
Be gentle and peaceful each day,
Be warm and human and grateful,
And have a good thing to say.

Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike,
Be witty and happy and wise,
Be honest and love all your neighbors,
Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.

Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus,
Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent,
Criticize things you don't know about,
Be oblong and have your knees removed.

Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
Put a live chicken in your underwear,
Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.

O.K. everybody!

Be courteous, kind and forgiving,
Be gentle and peaceful each day,
Be warm and human and grateful,
And have a good thing to say.

Be thoughtful and trustful and childlike,
(O.K. everybody on this!)
Be witty and happy and wise,
Be honest and love all your neighbors,
Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.
(Let 'em hear you outside!)

Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus,
(Everybody sing!)
Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent,
Criticize things you don't know about,
Be oblong and have your knees removed.

(Ladies only)
Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
(Now the men)
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
(Everybody)
Put a live chicken in your underwear,
Go into a closet and suck eggs.
posted by ManInSuit at 6:36 AM on December 23, 2018 [25 favorites]


Awesome. I knew you wouldn't let me down.
posted by Mchelly at 6:40 AM on December 23, 2018 [2 favorites]


As heard here...
posted by Marky at 7:16 AM on December 23, 2018 [3 favorites]


We need this song now more than ever.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:48 AM on December 23, 2018 [4 favorites]


I know this is resolved but I just wanted to stop by and say that this song has been running through my head for weeks and I have no idea why. This question made me squeal with delight, so I thank you for that.
posted by _Mona_ at 3:43 PM on December 23, 2018 [2 favorites]


Mmm happy to be reminded of this - IIRC he does this in the Hollywood Bowl set.
posted by aspersioncast at 7:13 AM on December 24, 2018


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