Relative sent us a cheque with the wrong name on it
December 16, 2018 10:22 AM Subscribe
My wife and I need help on how to tell her relative that the name she put on a cheque she sent to us is wrong.
Hypothetically, let's say my name is Joe Smith and my wife's name is Jane Doe. We've received a cheque from a distance relative made out to Jane Smith. However, this is not my wife's correct name. The relative assumed that my wife took my last name on marriage. However, she did not.
The bank has told us that they aren't able to deposit the cheque as it is. We want to say something to the relative because she's the type of person who may send other cheques in the future. But we're struggling on how to kindly say "just so you know, you got the name wrong and we can't deposit the cheques you sent". Because the relative is old and it would be a hassle for her to send out another cheque and we don't actually want her to have to worry about sending out another cheque. Like...we don't want it to seem like that's why we're telling her about the problem with the name. We just want her to know in case she's planning to send anything in the future.
Can anyone suggest a way to phrase this?
Hypothetically, let's say my name is Joe Smith and my wife's name is Jane Doe. We've received a cheque from a distance relative made out to Jane Smith. However, this is not my wife's correct name. The relative assumed that my wife took my last name on marriage. However, she did not.
The bank has told us that they aren't able to deposit the cheque as it is. We want to say something to the relative because she's the type of person who may send other cheques in the future. But we're struggling on how to kindly say "just so you know, you got the name wrong and we can't deposit the cheques you sent". Because the relative is old and it would be a hassle for her to send out another cheque and we don't actually want her to have to worry about sending out another cheque. Like...we don't want it to seem like that's why we're telling her about the problem with the name. We just want her to know in case she's planning to send anything in the future.
Can anyone suggest a way to phrase this?
In my experience, banks rarely scrutinize checks. If you ask them, sure. But I’d try doing a mobile or ATM deposit and see what happens. But, really, the truth is best. “I wanted to thank you so much for your generosity, it was very sweet of you to send the check. There’s a small issue, though, in that Jane has kept her maiden name so we can’t deposit the check. Her name is X. Sorry to be so much trouble!” And then let her come up with a solution. She may not ever get around to sending another check. Or she might! Just let go of it as an issue. I know she would be mortified if you never say anything at all.
posted by amanda at 10:30 AM on December 16, 2018 [30 favorites]
posted by amanda at 10:30 AM on December 16, 2018 [30 favorites]
Your wife is obviously the intended recipient and this is a pretty reasonable mistake. I would try to speak to someone else at the bank. The bank can deposit it if it's obvious the check was meant for you wife, even if the name was wrong. Sounds like you happened to speak to a teller who is clueless. Or, just go try to cash it without pointing it out. This seems like it shouldn't be an issue at all.
But if it were me, I'd just say: "Hi Relative, happy holidays and thanks so much for the cheque. Just wanted to let you know for the future that Jane has kept her maiden name and is still Jane Doe. The bank was a little confused, so just clarifying for the future. Thanks!"
posted by AppleTurnover at 10:35 AM on December 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
But if it were me, I'd just say: "Hi Relative, happy holidays and thanks so much for the cheque. Just wanted to let you know for the future that Jane has kept her maiden name and is still Jane Doe. The bank was a little confused, so just clarifying for the future. Thanks!"
posted by AppleTurnover at 10:35 AM on December 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Unfortunately, the bank is Tangerine. And it is online-only. So, it's not possible to go in and speak to a teller.
posted by NoneOfTheAbove at 10:50 AM on December 16, 2018
posted by NoneOfTheAbove at 10:50 AM on December 16, 2018
I'd definitely try endorsing the check as the name that it's made out to, and then try mobile deposit again.
If it helps you re-frame the reason to contact her, it's likely to cause her some hassle if you don't cash the check, either. If she is also balancing her checkbook, every month that you don't cash the check, she'll have that check outstanding, and the balance won't reconcile with the statement. Eventually, she'll have to assume that you're not going to cash the check, and take it back out of the register. If that's the case, you would actually be helping her to let her know now that the check cannot be cashed as written, you'll be destroying it or returning it to her, so she can take it out of her register immediately (and presumably write a replacement check with the correct name).
(I say this as the grandson who noticed that my grandmother had switched to sending me cash instead of a check for my birthday, and then later found checks from my previous two birthdays that I had left inside the cards and forgotten about.)
posted by yuwtze at 11:02 AM on December 16, 2018 [7 favorites]
If it helps you re-frame the reason to contact her, it's likely to cause her some hassle if you don't cash the check, either. If she is also balancing her checkbook, every month that you don't cash the check, she'll have that check outstanding, and the balance won't reconcile with the statement. Eventually, she'll have to assume that you're not going to cash the check, and take it back out of the register. If that's the case, you would actually be helping her to let her know now that the check cannot be cashed as written, you'll be destroying it or returning it to her, so she can take it out of her register immediately (and presumably write a replacement check with the correct name).
(I say this as the grandson who noticed that my grandmother had switched to sending me cash instead of a check for my birthday, and then later found checks from my previous two birthdays that I had left inside the cards and forgotten about.)
posted by yuwtze at 11:02 AM on December 16, 2018 [7 favorites]
Can she sign the check over to you (as Jane Smith), and you deposit it?
posted by JanetLand at 11:02 AM on December 16, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by JanetLand at 11:02 AM on December 16, 2018 [6 favorites]
I think you can say something along the lines of, "Thank you so much for the cheque, that was very generous and kind of you. However, the bank won't accept it because the cheque needs to be made out to Jane Doe. If it is too much trouble to send a new cheque, please don't worry about it. Happy Holidays."
I think that covers everything - you're not requiring relative to send a new cheque, it's up to her. I sense some trepidation about telling relative that Jane kept her name upon marriage and how relative will react to this; this takes the marriage out of the discussion and makes it about what the bank will/won't accept. You're also telling her what name needs to be on the cheque, which relative should take note of for future reference. If she sends the next cheque with the wrong name on it, you can refer to what you just told her today - "Remember when you sent that cheque in December with the incorrect name on it and the bank wouldn't accept it? The cheque needs to be made out to Jane Doe." I mean, worse comes to worse, relative never sends a cheque again and you don't seem to be too concerned about that?
posted by foxjacket at 11:05 AM on December 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
I think that covers everything - you're not requiring relative to send a new cheque, it's up to her. I sense some trepidation about telling relative that Jane kept her name upon marriage and how relative will react to this; this takes the marriage out of the discussion and makes it about what the bank will/won't accept. You're also telling her what name needs to be on the cheque, which relative should take note of for future reference. If she sends the next cheque with the wrong name on it, you can refer to what you just told her today - "Remember when you sent that cheque in December with the incorrect name on it and the bank wouldn't accept it? The cheque needs to be made out to Jane Doe." I mean, worse comes to worse, relative never sends a cheque again and you don't seem to be too concerned about that?
posted by foxjacket at 11:05 AM on December 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
I wouldn't think too hard about this. Just say, "Hi, thanks so much for the cheque you sent over! However the bank wouldn't take it as it's made out to Jane Doe and my wife's name is actually still Jane Smith. Is there any way you can send over another one made out to Jane Smith? We've gone ahead and voided the original since the bank won't accept it."
Ta-dah, the end.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 11:15 AM on December 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
Ta-dah, the end.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 11:15 AM on December 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
>it is online-only. So, it's not possible to go in and speak to a teller
Is there a phone number? I can't tell you how many times I've called and spoken to a customer service agent who couldn't help me with something or told me no, and then I called back and got a different agent who had no problem helping me. Whether it's in person, on the phone, or via an online chat, same thing applies.
posted by AppleTurnover at 11:34 AM on December 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
Is there a phone number? I can't tell you how many times I've called and spoken to a customer service agent who couldn't help me with something or told me no, and then I called back and got a different agent who had no problem helping me. Whether it's in person, on the phone, or via an online chat, same thing applies.
posted by AppleTurnover at 11:34 AM on December 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
I totally get why you don't want to say anything about this, but I think you need to tell your relative that you appreciate the generosity but that wife's name is First Name Maiden Name and that you can't cash the check, and what would she like you to do with it?
FWIW I have heard that Tangerine is pretty restrictive about what they allow you to deposit -- they may take the initial deposit, but then reverse it and freeze the account. If that's her primary account, I wouldn't risk it without calling someone first at least. Any chance she has a sole or joint account with another institution?
posted by sm1tten at 12:22 PM on December 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
FWIW I have heard that Tangerine is pretty restrictive about what they allow you to deposit -- they may take the initial deposit, but then reverse it and freeze the account. If that's her primary account, I wouldn't risk it without calling someone first at least. Any chance she has a sole or joint account with another institution?
posted by sm1tten at 12:22 PM on December 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
Does your wife have accounts at any brick and mortar banks she could deposit it at instead? I also didn't change my name and was able to deposit wedding gift checks made out to MyFirstName Husband'sLast at our small local credit union. Growing up I also deposited many checks made out to a childhood nickname that is not obviously derived from my actual legal name.
posted by abeja bicicleta at 12:47 PM on December 16, 2018
posted by abeja bicicleta at 12:47 PM on December 16, 2018
This doesn't sound like it's in the US but it might have a similar solution. I always suggest that women who are getting married file a fictitious name registration with the county they live in. If they are changing their name, then file it under their maiden name, or vice versa. Specifically so they can cash checks made out to either name.
posted by kindall at 12:48 PM on December 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by kindall at 12:48 PM on December 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
I was always told it was possible to make the deposit by first signing the check using the name on the check, and hen signing again under that using her correct name.
So, for example, if her name is Jane Doe, and the check is made out to Jane Smith, I would sign it as Jane Doe Smith, and then sign again as just Jane Doe, and mark it "for deposit only to acct. # [her bank account #]".
posted by gudrun at 1:06 PM on December 16, 2018
So, for example, if her name is Jane Doe, and the check is made out to Jane Smith, I would sign it as Jane Doe Smith, and then sign again as just Jane Doe, and mark it "for deposit only to acct. # [her bank account #]".
posted by gudrun at 1:06 PM on December 16, 2018
I have a relative who “can’t remember” that I didn’t change my name when I married my husband (she is 100% being a passive aggressive jerk who thinks I’m a raging feminist and should be a normal lady for goddamn once). Ive used all the tricks people have listed here, it works for about 1/2 the checks. So, I send her WCityMike’s message pretty much every other Christmas and birthday. She never sends another check, but i don’t really need $20, so it’s ok. It’s incredibly frustrating and makes me feel about 2 inches tall, so I have nothing but sympathy for your wife in this scenario. But at least with WCityMike’s message I can feel I am using a polite pushback, which is the best I can do to remain on good terms with other mutual relatives.
posted by holyrood at 1:10 PM on December 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by holyrood at 1:10 PM on December 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
I've deposited several checks via the mobile app that were made out to the wrong name or had other errors on it. In my experience as long as the amount matches the deposit goes through with no issues.
posted by COD at 1:14 PM on December 16, 2018
posted by COD at 1:14 PM on December 16, 2018
My perfectly normal credit union will not allow me to deposit a check unless the check is 100% my actual name. Banks are not easy going in the way they once were, pre 9/11 and a zillion laws after that. So I do not think you can avoid telling this relative. Also, I would be kind of cranky if as a gift I wrote someone a check that never got deposited. I would want to know what was going on. Do not decide for the relative if it is trouble for her to write a new check or not. That's not for you to decide. Just be polite, honest, and thankful. Return the check to her with a note about why you are doing it and thank her for the thought and see what happens. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 1:17 PM on December 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 1:17 PM on December 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
Cheques are machine read and the thing the machine tries to read is the numbers at the bottom and the amount. If that generates errors at some point other information gets considered. So you could just deposit it and see what happens. If anybody questions it you never spotted the error, it was an honest mistake.
posted by koahiatamadl at 2:46 PM on December 16, 2018
posted by koahiatamadl at 2:46 PM on December 16, 2018
The way I have dealt with this personally is to tell the relative that I never got around to making the legal switch, and so the bank won’t honor it. They always send a new one and commiserate with me about how stubborn banks are, and send the /letter/ to Mrs. Corb HusbandName and the checks to Corb Actualname. This is totally kicking the can on the name change issue though, which you may or may not want to do.
posted by corb at 5:38 PM on December 16, 2018
posted by corb at 5:38 PM on December 16, 2018
If your relative is like my 91-year-old former banker mom, she'll be watching that check in order to fully balance her checkbook. Call her and let her know you can't cash it as is - and that you'll deposit a replacement check right away.
posted by summerstorm at 6:20 PM on December 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by summerstorm at 6:20 PM on December 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
When I was in high school, a friend told me a story. His parents were friends with a psychiatrist. Let's call him Herman Jones. Herman had a patient who was really angry with him one day, and after the session made his check out to "Herman Fucking Jones".
At first he wasn't sure what to do with the check. He didn't want to throw it away. He didn't want to ask for a different check. And he didn't want to endorse it as "Herman Fucking Jones".
In the end he signed his name on the back as "Herman F. Jones" and handed it to the bank teller. The check cleared without any complaint.
I realize this doesn't help explaining things to your wife's relative. At some point your wife should explain that she didn't take your last name. But in the mean time your bank -- even an online bank -- should be able to deal with this. Variations in people's names are so common. As someone else suggested, just having your wife sign it over to you (signing her name "Jane Smith") and then having you deposit it should work. If your bank can't handle that, I'd consider getting a new bank.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 7:12 PM on December 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
At first he wasn't sure what to do with the check. He didn't want to throw it away. He didn't want to ask for a different check. And he didn't want to endorse it as "Herman Fucking Jones".
In the end he signed his name on the back as "Herman F. Jones" and handed it to the bank teller. The check cleared without any complaint.
I realize this doesn't help explaining things to your wife's relative. At some point your wife should explain that she didn't take your last name. But in the mean time your bank -- even an online bank -- should be able to deal with this. Variations in people's names are so common. As someone else suggested, just having your wife sign it over to you (signing her name "Jane Smith") and then having you deposit it should work. If your bank can't handle that, I'd consider getting a new bank.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 7:12 PM on December 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
I have this same problem (I'm married, didn't take my husband's last name). People write checks to me for holidays and stuff with the wrong name all the time. I have told them that I didn't change my name, for the reasons people cite above (namely, I know these folks will probably be watching to make sure the check clears). I don't know about your bank, but for mine I decided to just endorse the checks as is, and they've been accepted every time now. I have accounts at 3 separate banks, one an online only, and the checks have never been rejected. So, maybe just try to deposit them as is. And then just tell your relative that you haven't done all the paperwork yet blah blah, whatever they need to hear...maybe they'll listen more than my family. Good luck!
posted by FireFountain at 8:46 PM on December 16, 2018
posted by FireFountain at 8:46 PM on December 16, 2018
Can your wife go to the relative's bank with your marriage certificate and cash the check rather than deposit it in your bank?
posted by Short End Of A Wishbone at 9:41 PM on December 16, 2018
posted by Short End Of A Wishbone at 9:41 PM on December 16, 2018
I never changed my name when I married. However my bank allowed me to add an alias to my account as though I had changed it ...for the exact same reason: people kept assuming I had taken hubby’s last name. So the bank began accepting checks made out to my correct name and the incorrectly assumed one.
posted by Libelula y colibri at 12:44 AM on December 17, 2018
posted by Libelula y colibri at 12:44 AM on December 17, 2018
Have her sign the back as "Jane Smith for deposit to XXXXXXX" with your account number.
posted by apricot at 7:06 AM on December 17, 2018
posted by apricot at 7:06 AM on December 17, 2018
> I think you can say something along the lines of, "Thank you so much for the cheque, that was very generous and kind of you. However, the bank won't accept it because the cheque needs to be made out to Jane Doe. If it is too much trouble to send a new cheque, please don't worry about it. Happy Holidays."
Just call her and say this. I don't see how her being old makes sending a second check any more of a hassle than sending the first check. You know what's a hassle? Waiting and waiting and waiting for a check to clear and wondering if it got lost in the mail or whether the recipient is just taking forever to getting around to cashing it. Believe me, the kinder thing to do for your elderly relative is just to let her know.
posted by desuetude at 10:30 AM on December 17, 2018
Just call her and say this. I don't see how her being old makes sending a second check any more of a hassle than sending the first check. You know what's a hassle? Waiting and waiting and waiting for a check to clear and wondering if it got lost in the mail or whether the recipient is just taking forever to getting around to cashing it. Believe me, the kinder thing to do for your elderly relative is just to let her know.
posted by desuetude at 10:30 AM on December 17, 2018
This incorrect name issue happened to me a lot with relatives and I just deposited it and never looked back. I never had problems, at multiple banks. If you have any questions from the bank, you can send them a copy of your marriage certificate.
posted by emkelley at 10:33 AM on December 17, 2018
posted by emkelley at 10:33 AM on December 17, 2018
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by elsietheeel at 10:28 AM on December 16, 2018 [4 favorites]