Help me find a good gift for my mom
December 15, 2018 3:29 PM Subscribe
I have a common problem: My mom is hard to buy presents for. And yet, I love it when I can find a present that shows her I'm thinking about her. Help! Some stuff about my mom inside.
She is a big reader but has transitioned to Kindle, so I can't buy her books anymore. Music is hit-or-miss; if she likes something she's probably just going to buy it, and gift cards aren't a thing in my family. She doesn't really like knick-knacks or joke gifts. Things like kitchen gadgets are out, since she has the gadgets she wants.
Things that I have gotten her before that went over well:
- A beautiful coffee table book with photos of libraries
- Indulgently expensive candies she wouldn't have gotten for herself
- A perfume I knew she liked (but I don't know anything this year)
She likes cats, fantasy, and in her spare time she does a lot of coloring books (the problem with those is I don't know which she has... and she already has a lot) . She also likes games, but doesn't have friends who are into them. I'm thinking of getting a 2-person game we can play together when I visit, but I want to get her something else too. (Suggestions for a good nerdy 2-person game?)
She is better off financially for me, so the ideal gift is something she didn't know she wanted until she got it, or something that she wouldn't get for herself because it seems frivolous.
Has anyone stumbled across a really cool gift that might fit while searching for their family? or gotten something you really like yourself?
She is a big reader but has transitioned to Kindle, so I can't buy her books anymore. Music is hit-or-miss; if she likes something she's probably just going to buy it, and gift cards aren't a thing in my family. She doesn't really like knick-knacks or joke gifts. Things like kitchen gadgets are out, since she has the gadgets she wants.
Things that I have gotten her before that went over well:
- A beautiful coffee table book with photos of libraries
- Indulgently expensive candies she wouldn't have gotten for herself
- A perfume I knew she liked (but I don't know anything this year)
She likes cats, fantasy, and in her spare time she does a lot of coloring books (the problem with those is I don't know which she has... and she already has a lot) . She also likes games, but doesn't have friends who are into them. I'm thinking of getting a 2-person game we can play together when I visit, but I want to get her something else too. (Suggestions for a good nerdy 2-person game?)
She is better off financially for me, so the ideal gift is something she didn't know she wanted until she got it, or something that she wouldn't get for herself because it seems frivolous.
Has anyone stumbled across a really cool gift that might fit while searching for their family? or gotten something you really like yourself?
Patchwork is an excellent two player game.
Maybe you could buy a book for her kindle? I’d expect that to be possible somehow.
posted by triscuit at 3:35 PM on December 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
Maybe you could buy a book for her kindle? I’d expect that to be possible somehow.
posted by triscuit at 3:35 PM on December 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
Can you send food? For my mom who's also hard to shop for (and who ISN'T hard to shop for, anyway?) I keep my eye out for little gourmet food items in unusual flavors or things I know she likes. Like last year I saw these whole wheat chocolate chip cookies because I know she prefers things that are whole wheat. This year I saw a bottle of organic ginger syrup, because I know she prefers organic things and she likes ginger flavor. I am not that into making cookies & stuff like that myself, but I bet homemade treats would be a great gift.
What about a game you could play over the phone? That might be fun.
posted by bleep at 3:36 PM on December 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
What about a game you could play over the phone? That might be fun.
posted by bleep at 3:36 PM on December 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
As my mother got older, she neede less “stuff”, so I took to buying massages, manicure (she had her nails done regularly by the same woman). So I would say an experience might be a better way to show your love. Maybe lunch and a concert? Something to ponder.
posted by dbmcd at 3:39 PM on December 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by dbmcd at 3:39 PM on December 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
You can totally send books via Kindle. It works sort of like an e-gift card, except for a specific thing. You can send a gift note and everything.
posted by blnkfrnk at 3:45 PM on December 15, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by blnkfrnk at 3:45 PM on December 15, 2018 [5 favorites]
Music: a digital subscription to a music streaming service.
Coloring: the fanciest version of the coloring utensil she prefers.
posted by blnkfrnk at 3:47 PM on December 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
Coloring: the fanciest version of the coloring utensil she prefers.
posted by blnkfrnk at 3:47 PM on December 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
Monopoly Deal is a fun and easy game for 2 players, way better than the original board game version.
My practical and self-reliant New Englander mother that hates gifts has enjoyed Darn Tough socks, dried fruit baskets, fancy tins of tuna or other gourmet food items (especially if local to where I live), really nice hand soap in a pump dispenser, and a very simple Shutterfly photo book that I put together with some shared experiences and memories.
posted by belau at 3:47 PM on December 15, 2018
My practical and self-reliant New Englander mother that hates gifts has enjoyed Darn Tough socks, dried fruit baskets, fancy tins of tuna or other gourmet food items (especially if local to where I live), really nice hand soap in a pump dispenser, and a very simple Shutterfly photo book that I put together with some shared experiences and memories.
posted by belau at 3:47 PM on December 15, 2018
If she has cats in addition to liking them, custom pet portraits have always struck me as a nice balance between "completely indulgent" and "actually really sweet". I like these copper sculptures, for example, though maybe that's too close to a knick-knack? I feel like, if one adores it, it's not clutter, but you'd have to be sure.
Nice/unique coloring tools, or a special pouch/bag to transport them in, or a box for storage?
posted by teremala at 3:55 PM on December 15, 2018
Nice/unique coloring tools, or a special pouch/bag to transport them in, or a box for storage?
posted by teremala at 3:55 PM on December 15, 2018
Send more expensive candles!
A sampler of perfumes from LuckyScent?
posted by nanook at 4:44 PM on December 15, 2018
A sampler of perfumes from LuckyScent?
posted by nanook at 4:44 PM on December 15, 2018
Codenames Duet is a fun 2-person game. Also Dead of Winter; it's better with more but still good with two people!
Also seconding good (or nerdy, or feminist, or whatever suits your mom) socks. Shawls/scarves are also nice.
posted by DTMFA at 5:05 PM on December 15, 2018
Also seconding good (or nerdy, or feminist, or whatever suits your mom) socks. Shawls/scarves are also nice.
posted by DTMFA at 5:05 PM on December 15, 2018
You can in fact buy a book for someone else's kindle.
On amazon, select an ebook. On the right under the normal buying options you'll see "buy for others." I did it recently but can't remember all the steps....
Never mind, here is a how-to.
posted by bunderful at 5:33 PM on December 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
On amazon, select an ebook. On the right under the normal buying options you'll see "buy for others." I did it recently but can't remember all the steps....
Never mind, here is a how-to.
posted by bunderful at 5:33 PM on December 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
You mention kitchen gadgets - if she likes to cook then maybe ingredients? Especially high-quality, indulgent spices, condiments or other things she might not normally buy for herself. Depends somewhat on how adventurous she is and how likely she is to use them.
Membership to a local museum could be nice too.
posted by bunderful at 5:37 PM on December 15, 2018
Membership to a local museum could be nice too.
posted by bunderful at 5:37 PM on December 15, 2018
A nice mancala board
Really lovely high thread count sheets
Jigsaw puzzle (and you can work on it together!) - I like old fashioned cozy scenes
High quality crayons, gel pens, or markers - for her coloring books
A record player and some records
posted by Sassyfras at 5:43 PM on December 15, 2018
Really lovely high thread count sheets
Jigsaw puzzle (and you can work on it together!) - I like old fashioned cozy scenes
High quality crayons, gel pens, or markers - for her coloring books
A record player and some records
posted by Sassyfras at 5:43 PM on December 15, 2018
This is on MY Christmas list so I haven't actually played it, but I have heard from other 2-player gamers that 7 Wonders: Duel is really fun.
Re: coloring books, you could search new releases - some have come out just in the last few days so she would be unlikely to have them yet. Etsy also has indie coloring books which she might not have. Does she already have super-fancy colored pencils or crayons?
These Smell Of Old Books candles from Etsy are cute, although I have no idea what they actually smell like. The store Uncommon Goods has a lot of cute gift-y things too.
Unrelated to your ideas, a nice framed photo of the two of you would probably go over well.
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto at 5:45 PM on December 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
Re: coloring books, you could search new releases - some have come out just in the last few days so she would be unlikely to have them yet. Etsy also has indie coloring books which she might not have. Does she already have super-fancy colored pencils or crayons?
These Smell Of Old Books candles from Etsy are cute, although I have no idea what they actually smell like. The store Uncommon Goods has a lot of cute gift-y things too.
Unrelated to your ideas, a nice framed photo of the two of you would probably go over well.
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto at 5:45 PM on December 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
Illimat is a beautiful nerdy game that's fun for 2 players (and up to 4, too, in case y'all can ever rope others into playing). It's been a very successful gift for a couple people in my life who are difficult to gift.
posted by rhiannonstone at 5:52 PM on December 15, 2018
posted by rhiannonstone at 5:52 PM on December 15, 2018
I have these mini library scented tea candles and they are fun. (from Uncommon Goods as noted above)
posted by jessamyn at 5:59 PM on December 15, 2018
posted by jessamyn at 5:59 PM on December 15, 2018
Has she complained about anything lately? Like totally offhandedly? Because my mom is just as hard to buy for as your mom, but I've made it a point to really LISTEN to her when she starts to complain, rather than make sympathetic noises while I tune her out.
For instance, she mentioned her hands get really cold in church, so I got her a wrap with pockets. Also a pair of super cute gloves. And I'm trying to figure out if I have the appropriate fabric to make her a fur-lined muff.
She also has arthritis and mentioned that her secateurs were old and rusty, so I got her some ergonomic Fiskars ones.
Does she like jewelry at all? Mom mentioned a month ago that she wanted a hatpin so I immediately went home and ordered her an vintage Art Deco silver hatpin from Etsy.
Cashmere socks? A really fancy set of pens or pencils for coloring? Notecards for coloring that she can send to friends?
posted by elsietheeel at 6:00 PM on December 15, 2018 [6 favorites]
For instance, she mentioned her hands get really cold in church, so I got her a wrap with pockets. Also a pair of super cute gloves. And I'm trying to figure out if I have the appropriate fabric to make her a fur-lined muff.
She also has arthritis and mentioned that her secateurs were old and rusty, so I got her some ergonomic Fiskars ones.
Does she like jewelry at all? Mom mentioned a month ago that she wanted a hatpin so I immediately went home and ordered her an vintage Art Deco silver hatpin from Etsy.
Cashmere socks? A really fancy set of pens or pencils for coloring? Notecards for coloring that she can send to friends?
posted by elsietheeel at 6:00 PM on December 15, 2018 [6 favorites]
This is what I did today with my mom at lunch. I asked her about her skincare and makeup routine. She is not an everyday makeup person, but she has a few things she likes. She showed me a few favorites she keeps in her purse and I privately noted the shades. I then went to Sephora and found a collection with a mini version of her favorite lipstick and a bunch of other complementary shades for her to try. I know she'll at least like and use one thing out of the set and might find some other things she loves but would never buy for herself. It's also stuff she can use up and throw out.
posted by Alison at 6:13 PM on December 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by Alison at 6:13 PM on December 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
Others have already mentioned Kindle book gifts but I don't think that anyone has said this yet: your mom is not bound by your selection. If she already has the book or thinks she won't like it, she can exchange it for an equivalent Amazon gift card.
posted by peacheater at 6:59 PM on December 15, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by peacheater at 6:59 PM on December 15, 2018 [5 favorites]
Do you think she'd enjoy a subscription to Audible?
As far as geeky two person games go, Lord of the Rings: The Confrontation is a ton of fun -- one of you plays Frodo + companions, the other plays the side of evil, and there is a real sense of urgency and narrative tension, and it it all plays out in 20 minutes despite requiring some strategy and forethought.
posted by TheLittlestRobot at 7:04 PM on December 15, 2018
As far as geeky two person games go, Lord of the Rings: The Confrontation is a ton of fun -- one of you plays Frodo + companions, the other plays the side of evil, and there is a real sense of urgency and narrative tension, and it it all plays out in 20 minutes despite requiring some strategy and forethought.
posted by TheLittlestRobot at 7:04 PM on December 15, 2018
Response by poster: I'm not marking best answers yet because I don't want more suggestions, but these are helpful so far!
Lord of the Rings: Confrontation sounds like the perfect game for us, but I'm having some trouble finding where I can buy it. Amazon only has it from third party sellers, and worryingly the image isn't even correct (and it's a lot more expensive than suggested retail, yikes).
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 8:16 PM on December 15, 2018
Lord of the Rings: Confrontation sounds like the perfect game for us, but I'm having some trouble finding where I can buy it. Amazon only has it from third party sellers, and worryingly the image isn't even correct (and it's a lot more expensive than suggested retail, yikes).
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 8:16 PM on December 15, 2018
How about nice colored pencils?
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:18 PM on December 15, 2018
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:18 PM on December 15, 2018
Does she HAVE cats? Commission a pet portrait.
posted by Grandysaur at 8:32 PM on December 15, 2018
posted by Grandysaur at 8:32 PM on December 15, 2018
Tak: A beautiful game is a 2-player strategy game based on Rothfuss' Kingkiller Chronicles; maybe a copy of the books (Kindle versions?) plus the game would be nice.
Etsy has a lot of adult coloring books sold as PDF only - you could get a few of those, and have selected pages printed and bound at a local print shop. This could either have a spiral binding (easier to lay flat to color) or be printed 2-up on 11x17 pages with staples in the center. You'd be able to mix-and-match pages to get a unique coloring book of picture you think she'll enjoy. (If you like this idea but don't know how to set up a printable book for it, memail me.)
If she likes unusual or unique scents, Black Pheonix Alchemy Lab ("BPAL") sells themed, limited-run perfume blends. I hear great things about them; there are whole communities that discuss their favorites and arrange swaps.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 9:58 PM on December 15, 2018
Etsy has a lot of adult coloring books sold as PDF only - you could get a few of those, and have selected pages printed and bound at a local print shop. This could either have a spiral binding (easier to lay flat to color) or be printed 2-up on 11x17 pages with staples in the center. You'd be able to mix-and-match pages to get a unique coloring book of picture you think she'll enjoy. (If you like this idea but don't know how to set up a printable book for it, memail me.)
If she likes unusual or unique scents, Black Pheonix Alchemy Lab ("BPAL") sells themed, limited-run perfume blends. I hear great things about them; there are whole communities that discuss their favorites and arrange swaps.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 9:58 PM on December 15, 2018
Bananagrams is fun with two people (and even playable alone). Set would also work and is a good alternative if she doesn't like word games.
For another shot at perfume, Le Labo does a nice sampler kit with all their popular options and it includes a voucher for a full-sized perfume of her choice. They also do candles and bath stuff!
My mom has fairly similar taste and she seems to have liked the Jane Austen scarf I got her a couple years ago (I see her wearing it, which is not true of all the gifts I've gotten her).
posted by snaw at 6:15 AM on December 16, 2018
For another shot at perfume, Le Labo does a nice sampler kit with all their popular options and it includes a voucher for a full-sized perfume of her choice. They also do candles and bath stuff!
My mom has fairly similar taste and she seems to have liked the Jane Austen scarf I got her a couple years ago (I see her wearing it, which is not true of all the gifts I've gotten her).
posted by snaw at 6:15 AM on December 16, 2018
Piggybacking on chesty_a_arthur's suggestion, an upgrade in coloring implemements might be nice. For colored pencils, try Prismacolor Premieres. For markers, try Copic Art Markers.
posted by D.Billy at 6:15 AM on December 16, 2018
posted by D.Billy at 6:15 AM on December 16, 2018
Splurge/frivalous gift idea - a book that opens into a light! These are so pretty!
There are lots of knockoffs on amazon too if the original Lumio brand is out of budget.
posted by laika_the_cosmonaut at 6:12 AM on December 17, 2018
There are lots of knockoffs on amazon too if the original Lumio brand is out of budget.
posted by laika_the_cosmonaut at 6:12 AM on December 17, 2018
If she lives in a cold climate and likes to cozy up and read: Barefoot Dreams cardigan or sleepwear
Ugg Robe-- I saw this in person and it is lovely and luxurious.
Beautiful pajamas
posted by loveandhappiness at 3:04 PM on December 17, 2018
Ugg Robe-- I saw this in person and it is lovely and luxurious.
Beautiful pajamas
posted by loveandhappiness at 3:04 PM on December 17, 2018
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posted by praemunire at 3:32 PM on December 15, 2018