Christmas music for misanthropes and weirdos
December 12, 2018 6:15 PM   Subscribe

I know we recently discussed "not especially joyful" Christmas music. Great! I want actively miserable or screwy Christmas music. Think Sufjan's "Christmas Unicorn" (the final third is a cover of "Love Will Tear Us Apart", the middle third is EDM, and the first third is cynical musings). Think "A Christmas Duel" by The Hives and Cyndi Lauper (NSFW, opening lines: "I bought no gifts this year / and I slept with your sister", and it escalates from there). Think the delightful, absurd cacophany of All I Want for Christmas is Midi. Any recs?

Also on my list:

Martha Wainwright's "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year"
Laura Marling's "Goodbye England"
"All I Want for Christmas is New Year's Day"
posted by flibbertigibbet to Media & Arts (57 answers total) 36 users marked this as a favorite
Santa's Beard by They Might Be Giants.
posted by neilbert at 6:22 PM on December 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

The Pogues - Fairytale of New York - is not especially joyous - “Happy Christmas your arse, I pray God it's our last”.
posted by rdnnyc at 6:31 PM on December 12, 2018 [5 favorites]

Weird Al - The Night Santa Went Crazy is a fav of mine around this time of year.
posted by cgg at 6:34 PM on December 12, 2018

More Weird Al: Christmas at Ground Zero
posted by Sauce Trough at 6:37 PM on December 12, 2018 [3 favorites]

Merzbow's Silent Night probably falls under this umbrella, as does most of the rest of the album.
posted by sagc at 6:39 PM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

I’m a big fan of Chiron Beta Prime
posted by Mchelly at 6:46 PM on December 12, 2018 [7 favorites]

Apologies if this doesn't fit the parameters, but I just love this song so much
posted by Redhush at 6:50 PM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

Unironic insurrectionary antihymn:

Roy Bailey and Leon Rosselson: Stand Up for Judas.
posted by jamjam at 7:00 PM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

Can’t stop won’t stop - the long out of print Kiki and Herb Christmas album is a work of genius and my family certainly think me deranged when I insist on listening to it every year.
posted by rdnnyc at 7:05 PM on December 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

SomaFM's Xmas in Frisko station might be up your alley.
posted by The Lurkers Support Me in Email at 7:19 PM on December 12, 2018 [3 favorites]

I'm a Christmas Tree ("Oh Santa Claus! He breaks lots of laws! He trespasses!")

You Ain't Gettin' Shit for Christmas (singing starts at around 1:20)

Slick Nick (You Devil You) ("I WANTED CANDY!!")

Nicholas Was (Neil Gaiman's take on a Christmas Drabble. ...thanks, Neil?)

Santa Claus is Coming to Town (just... listen - you'll either hate it, or you'll be writhing on the floor in tears of laughter)

More later when I can get at my old holiday mix CDs (yeah, CDs, I said it)
posted by tzikeh at 7:23 PM on December 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

Seems like I recommend this song here at least once a year, but if you want to go that far, you could do worse than The Showcase Showdown's Merry Christmas, I Fucked Your Snowman.
posted by Ufez Jones at 7:25 PM on December 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

Selections from The Nightmare Before Christmas like "Making Christmas" and "Kidnap the Sandy Claws."
posted by praemunire at 7:29 PM on December 12, 2018 [3 favorites]

Imogen Heap, "Just For Now"
Brandi Carlisle, "The Heartache Can Wait"
Your favorite version of "La Fille Du Père Noël"
posted by nicebookrack at 7:33 PM on December 12, 2018

Hazy Fairytale of New York
posted by saucysault at 7:48 PM on December 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

No Xmas for John Quays The Fall
posted by rodlymight at 7:55 PM on December 12, 2018

Robert Earl King's Merry Christmas from the Family is pretty dysfunctional. The Mountain Goats cover is my favorite.
posted by matrixclown at 7:56 PM on December 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

Probably too weird, but one of my favorites, Santa Claus was My Lover.
posted by Grumpy old geek at 8:06 PM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

Happy Holidays by Blink 182. Short and not at all sweet.
posted by entropyiswinning at 8:44 PM on December 12, 2018

Christmas, by Beat Happening
posted by drapatz at 8:44 PM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

pretty surprised to not see lcd soundsystem’s christmas will break your heart here.
posted by zinful at 9:38 PM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

Smoke Fairies - Christmas Without A Kiss
Cristina - Things Fall Apart
The Youngsters - Christmas In Jail
Poly Styrene - Black Christmas
Type O Negative - Red Water (Christmas Mourning)
Wall Of Voodoo - Shouldn't Have Given Him A Gun For Christmas
Servotron - Christmas Day Of The Robot
Alien Sex Fiend - Stuff The Turkey
Fear - Fuck Christmas
Eric Idle - Fuck Christmas
The Sonics - Don't Believe In Christmas, Santa Claus
Courteney Probert's family singalong of There Ain't No Sanity Clause
posted by brianrobot at 9:41 PM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

Bitshifter's cover of "Let it Snow"
posted by rongorongo at 9:41 PM on December 12, 2018

Jon Solomon has been hosting a Christmas music marathon on WPRB for 29 years. His taste skews toward the weird and unusual. Here's his 2017 playlist.
posted by terooot at 9:42 PM on December 12, 2018 [1 favorite]

The album A Lump of Coal featured some weird, weird Christmas music. There's not a lot available on YouTube, but there are a couple of gems:

Henry Rollins' "urban riot/burglar and guns/police chopper-touched revamp" of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Little Drummer Boy (Up the Khyber) Hoodoo Gurus--the title is apparently a reference to an old Pink Floyd song
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 9:54 PM on December 12, 2018 [2 favorites]

John Denver gets a little dark with "Please Daddy, Don't Get Drunk This Christmas"
Nat King Cole remembers "The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot"
Simon & Garfunkel give us some breaking news with "7 o'clock News / Silent Night"
Who can hate a dead mom song? NewSong's "The Christmas Shoes"
posted by Marky at 12:15 AM on December 13, 2018

The John Waters Christmas Album has some great oddball songs on it, mostly (unsurprisingly) in that sweet spot where kitsch intersects with creepy.
posted by miles per flower at 12:25 AM on December 13, 2018 [2 favorites]

Seconding the rec for Xmas in Frisko on SomaFM.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 12:59 AM on December 13, 2018

Mud - Lonely this Christmas
posted by EtTuHealy at 2:27 AM on December 13, 2018

David Ford - Have Yourself a Bitter Little Christmas

I have this on an album produced by the charity Shelter a few years ago called "It's Not Like Christmas". Though its not an entirely misanthropic album I suspect there may be other tracks on there that fit the bill.
posted by bored_now_flay at 2:44 AM on December 13, 2018

Twelve days of Christmas by Frank Kelly.
posted by Ms. Next at 2:53 AM on December 13, 2018

Thirding SOMA FM Xmas in Frisko. Pretty much every song is taking the piss out of Christmas, etc.
posted by smallerdemon at 4:45 AM on December 13, 2018

How about this weird version of I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas by Stan Freberg where at the end "santa" comes down the chimney and the kid shows him where the silver is and gets a cut of it . . . .
posted by carrioncomfort at 5:37 AM on December 13, 2018

If chilling, funereal, unsettling, and bleak is what you're after, it's hard to top Tori Amos's cover of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas".
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 5:59 AM on December 13, 2018

St. Stephen's Day Murders - The Cheiftans with Elvis Costello
Silent Night - Damien Rice
Burn the Flames - Mark Lanegan
posted by fourpotatoes at 6:58 AM on December 13, 2018

Simple Plan - My Christmas List might fit in here, it's hilarious and cynical.
posted by capricorn at 7:23 AM on December 13, 2018

dead dead dead - south park christmas classics.

and I'll happily recommend st stephen's day murders listed above
posted by annabear at 7:25 AM on December 13, 2018

The Christmas Party by The Walkmen
posted by chimpsonfilm at 7:37 AM on December 13, 2018

I've always loved "Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight)" by the Ramones.
posted by SeedStitch at 7:40 AM on December 13, 2018

Little drummer boy performed by Low.
posted by umbú at 7:53 AM on December 13, 2018

Merry Christmas, Sargeant Kraulis
posted by Poldo at 7:56 AM on December 13, 2018

Corey Taylor - X-M@$: lots of swearing and some drug and alcohol references.
posted by jet_pack_in_a_can at 8:13 AM on December 13, 2018 [1 favorite]

Haven't listened to this in full but Fuck That seems to fit your bill.
posted by clavicle at 10:10 AM on December 13, 2018

King Diamond - No Presents for Christmas
posted by saladin at 12:53 PM on December 13, 2018

Weirdly enough, I think CRUDBUMP's "Fuck You if You Don't Like Christmas" is the most hopeful song on my anti-Christmas mix. And I love it dearly.

Seconding clavicle's recommendation of Erin McKeown's "Fuck That"--personal favorite is "Santa Is an Asshole."

Garfunkel & Oates have a couple fun Christmas songs; I suspect your taste may run to "Scary Fucked-Up Christmas."
posted by dlugoczaj at 1:25 PM on December 13, 2018

Still can't link on Metafilter.

Jethro Tull-Christmas Song
posted by Splunge at 3:47 PM on December 13, 2018

Blink 182 - I Won't Be Home for Christmas
posted by axiom at 6:27 PM on December 13, 2018

The New Mendicants — “A Very Sorry Christmas

(The New Mendicants are Joe Pernice of the Pernice Brothers and Teenage Fanclub’s Norman Blake.)
posted by Karlos the Jackal at 7:08 PM on December 13, 2018

My favorite offbeat Christmas comp is It’s a Cool Cool Christmas. It may be a little uneven overall but the Grandaddy and El Vez tracks are weirdo classics in my book.
posted by Mothlight at 6:59 AM on December 14, 2018

Allan Sherman's version of "The Twelve Days of Christmas"

The Twelve Days After Christmas
posted by tzikeh at 8:45 PM on December 14, 2018

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