Help me develop a sense of self-image
December 11, 2018 12:07 AM Subscribe
I hope this isn't too chatfiltery. I've seen questions here where people ask Mefites to critique their OkCupid profiles. I would like you to do something similar, except I just want you to tell me your physical impression of me based on these photos and why you feel that way.
I'm totally blind, and as such, I feel like I have no solid perception of what I look like. I know the basics about myself, of course--hair and eye color, general face and body shape, skin tone, etc, but I don't have an overall concept of myself. I've been preoccupied with this for years, and with understanding why sighted people consider physical traits attractive or unattractive.
There used to be a site where you could submit a few photos and people would tell you what they saw in them and their impressions of them, specifically geared toward accurately describing photos for blind people, but I can't remember what it was called. I'm interested in something like this because I want an objective consensus on my attractiveness. I realize that this is, by its nature, subjective, everyone's idea of attractive is different and so on. But I feel like if enough people say versions of the same thing, I can assimilate that into my idea of my physical self and create a more stable sense of self-image.
My question is twofold. 1) Am I attractive, plain, unattractive, something else? Why? I want completely honest answers. I'm not looking for simple validation or compliments, but for a way to accurately envision myself. 2) What makes someone attractive or unattractive? I'm talking here about people like Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Idris Elba, Angelina Jolie, Shakira, Beyonce ... people who are pretty much universally agreed to be "hot". Why are those traits aesthetically pleasing and others aren't?
I hope this makes sense. I know it's kind of a nebulous concept and might be difficult to answer, but thank you in advance for trying.
I'm totally blind, and as such, I feel like I have no solid perception of what I look like. I know the basics about myself, of course--hair and eye color, general face and body shape, skin tone, etc, but I don't have an overall concept of myself. I've been preoccupied with this for years, and with understanding why sighted people consider physical traits attractive or unattractive.
There used to be a site where you could submit a few photos and people would tell you what they saw in them and their impressions of them, specifically geared toward accurately describing photos for blind people, but I can't remember what it was called. I'm interested in something like this because I want an objective consensus on my attractiveness. I realize that this is, by its nature, subjective, everyone's idea of attractive is different and so on. But I feel like if enough people say versions of the same thing, I can assimilate that into my idea of my physical self and create a more stable sense of self-image.
My question is twofold. 1) Am I attractive, plain, unattractive, something else? Why? I want completely honest answers. I'm not looking for simple validation or compliments, but for a way to accurately envision myself. 2) What makes someone attractive or unattractive? I'm talking here about people like Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Idris Elba, Angelina Jolie, Shakira, Beyonce ... people who are pretty much universally agreed to be "hot". Why are those traits aesthetically pleasing and others aren't?
I hope this makes sense. I know it's kind of a nebulous concept and might be difficult to answer, but thank you in advance for trying.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Hey there, I'm sorry but yeah, this is a bit wide open for a question. If you'd like help possibly finding the site you remember or something similar, or if you'd like to get some sort of specific advice related to how you'd like to project yourself that has to do with wardrobe, hair style, etc, that could be a more targeted ask. Please contact us if you'd like to discuss! -- taz
You look like a friendly person to me (which is non-sexual type of attraction). I have a similar body type, and I find that some people think I'm less intelligent because of a. the extra weight or b. the large bust (I have no idea why people think a large bust indicates low intelligence, but I'm not neurotypical). I have learned that wrap tops, as in your first image, minimise my bust somewhat. V-necks are second best. Smal geometric patterns and stripes on stretch fabric (your last image) tend to make my bust look much bigger.
I haven't checked to see where you are located but in Australia, your slightly uneven teeth would (like mine) be seen as a recognisable feature. In other places (like the US), it would be a detractor.
To me, your high forehead screams intelligence (big brain). I like your lips, neither too thin or too plump.
People who are considered very attractive (celebrities and the like) seem to have a healthy body weight, or be underweight. They also have more symmetrical faces than the rest of us.
From your images alone, and the expression on your face, you look like someone I'd like to get to know, friendly, smart, sense of humour, not perfect, fun (purple hair). You look kind.
I am a straight woman, age 51, with a buzz cut, who works in a university and avoids socialising.
One last thing, in the image with the lacy dress, I'd probably stand with my feet closer together, or with one foot in front of the other. In jeans, standing with legs apart (for women) seems more socially acceptable than in a dress. I could be wrong on this.
posted by b33j at 1:07 AM on December 11, 2018
I haven't checked to see where you are located but in Australia, your slightly uneven teeth would (like mine) be seen as a recognisable feature. In other places (like the US), it would be a detractor.
To me, your high forehead screams intelligence (big brain). I like your lips, neither too thin or too plump.
People who are considered very attractive (celebrities and the like) seem to have a healthy body weight, or be underweight. They also have more symmetrical faces than the rest of us.
From your images alone, and the expression on your face, you look like someone I'd like to get to know, friendly, smart, sense of humour, not perfect, fun (purple hair). You look kind.
I am a straight woman, age 51, with a buzz cut, who works in a university and avoids socialising.
One last thing, in the image with the lacy dress, I'd probably stand with my feet closer together, or with one foot in front of the other. In jeans, standing with legs apart (for women) seems more socially acceptable than in a dress. I could be wrong on this.
posted by b33j at 1:07 AM on December 11, 2018
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All three photos show you as having a high hairline; the third photo really emphasizes it. In some eras a high hairline is considered attractive; right now (and for the past two centuries or so) a hairline that is a bit lower than yours is considered attractive.
In general, currently, a sharply-defined jawline and chin is considered very attractive. Your chin and jaw are soft and you have a double chin, which is not considered a plus toward attractiveness. (I am in the same boat.)
For women, large eyes relative to the rest of the face are considered attractive. (Men don't have to have this characteristic; there's plenty of men who are considered attractive that have small eyes.) Your eyes are a bit smaller (point against) but you have well-defined eyebrows (point for) and a nice intense color (more points in your favor).
You are also very busty. The fashion for that also goes back and forth but it's generally considered an asset for women even if big breasts aren't in "fashion" per se.
According to various studies, faces are attractive when they are almost (but not quite) symmetrical and when the features seem like an averaging-out of the population. A small facial scar on a man allegedly makes him more attractive, while women are allegedly more attractive if their features are not too distinctive. Men are, according to studies, drawn to people who look younger, while women are allegedly drawn to older men.
I do not find all the people you've listed hot; in fact, I find some of them actively repulsive. So "hot" is definitely in the eye of the beholder.
I am sure there will be some other MeFite who will have a much better answer than I do - and who will disagree with much of what I've said. :-)
posted by rednikki at 12:30 AM on December 11, 2018 [1 favorite]