Are diamonds evening-only wear?

December 6, 2018 12:23 PM

What it says on the tin. I have inherited a diamond (3 mm) in a (small, unobtrusive) pendant that I would like to wear out and about, but apparently such an item is considered more of an "evening wear" type of thing. I don't like attracting attention with my jewelry. My question: what is the general etiquette for wearing diamonds or precious stones (that are of average size, not huge blingy boulders) if they are not set in wedding or engagement bands?
posted by Armed Only With Hubris to Grab Bag (21 answers total)

I've never heard of such a thing. I guess the setting matters (in terms of how "Wow, that's fancy!" it seems, not in terms of appropriateness -- eff that, wear what you like!). But you indicate that it's subtle anyway. Plenty of people wear simple (or not!) diamond pendants/bracelets/etc every day.
posted by Bebo at 12:26 PM on December 6, 2018 [13 favorites]

No. Classic everyday wear.
posted by JPD at 12:27 PM on December 6, 2018 [31 favorites]

2nding classic everyday wear; I have multiple friends who never leave the house without their signature diamond jewelry, whether it's a pendant, earrings, or bracelet.

However, I will say that some of this may be regional; where I've lived on the East Coast and in the Midwest this was much more common than where I live now, in the inland West, where women don't even wear their diamond engagement rings regularly.
posted by stellaluna at 12:31 PM on December 6, 2018 [3 favorites]

In my experience, a simple diamond pendant is an extremely appropriate piece of daytime jewelry. Very common among my mother's friends (white, 60-ish, middle class, European). Somewhat less common among my own friends (mostly white and Jewish, 30-ish, middle class American) but mostly due to lack of funds rather than dislike of diamonds.
posted by DSime at 12:32 PM on December 6, 2018

Nth! The diamond solitaire is appropriate for just about any occasion.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 12:33 PM on December 6, 2018

My daughter wears the diamond pendant her boyfriend gave her every single day, and she's a college student. We live in the midwest, if that helps.

Go for it.
posted by cooker girl at 12:39 PM on December 6, 2018

A 3mm diamond is so small I wouldn't be surprised if many people don't even recognize it as a diamond. There's no reason you should feel the need to limit where you wear such a pendant. Enjoy!
posted by saeculorum at 12:43 PM on December 6, 2018 [5 favorites]

I think it's more about how it's set than the stone itself - a flashy setting would feel more evening-wear to me but there are lots of simple pendant/earring settings that are nice but wearable daily. This sounds like it would fall in the latter group.
posted by brilliantine at 12:43 PM on December 6, 2018 [4 favorites]

I have inherited a diamond (3 mm) in a (small, unobtrusive) pendant that I would like to wear out and about, but apparently such an item is considered more of an "evening wear" type of thing.

Whoever told you this is projecting...something...and is mistaken about proper etiquette. A single 3mm diamond in a modest pendant is by no means inappropriate for daytime casual wear.
posted by desuetude at 12:50 PM on December 6, 2018 [13 favorites]

It used to be an old-time etiquette thing that diamonds other than engagement/wedding rings were for evening only, but those days are long gone. Wear and enjoy.
posted by HotToddy at 12:53 PM on December 6, 2018 [7 favorites]

A small diamond in a simple setting is absolutely fine for daytime wear. Just, you know, resist the urge for a tiara.
posted by praemunire at 1:09 PM on December 6, 2018 [9 favorites]

It would never occur to me to think of this as inappropriate. I have a friend who wears a pendant a lot like this, and another who wears diamond stud earrings and neither seems ostentatious or inappropriate. Wear it and enjoy!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:21 PM on December 6, 2018

I am a horrible snob who won't wear white before Labor Day, did not consider my sterling flatware to be complete without oyster forks, and own actual calling cards, and even I agree the rule about daytime diamonds has long, long since passed. Genuinely the only people I can think of who don't wear diamonds before 6 PM these days are the British Royal Family.
posted by DarlingBri at 1:36 PM on December 6, 2018 [11 favorites]

it would be a little weird if you wore it to the gym but otherwise it's everyday wearable.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:36 PM on December 6, 2018 [2 favorites]

Best answer: When people say diamonds are for evening, they mean this sort of thing the Queen’s necklace
posted by plonkee at 1:39 PM on December 6, 2018 [7 favorites]

The general etiquette for wearing diamonds or precious stones (that are of average size, not huge blingy boulders) is not to smack other people down for wearing them. You weren't the one who was being inappropriate.
posted by kate4914 at 2:11 PM on December 6, 2018 [2 favorites]

Totally appropriate! Wear it with pride.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 3:31 PM on December 6, 2018

Response by poster: Okay that settles it! Thanks everyone!
posted by Armed Only With Hubris at 4:10 PM on December 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

My mom wears a pendant pretty much like what you describe (a smallish solitaire on a thin gold chain) pretty regularly. I've never noticed the time of day mattering to whether or not she chooses to wear it, and she's the sort of person who would at least be aware of such "rules." So either there is no such rule, or she's been breaking it with impunity for many years.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 4:23 PM on December 6, 2018

I wear a diamond pendant 24/7/365. It has sentimental value, but even if it didn't, I would still wear it!
posted by lilies.lilies at 5:03 PM on December 6, 2018

A diamond solitaire on a simple chain necklace is kind of my definition of everyday jewelry. My friends and acquaintances who have them wear them every day, everywhere. It's the bigger stuff that gets put on with different outfits and different occasions. You're fine.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:21 PM on December 6, 2018