Unconventional places to meet gay men (outside of apps/bars)?

November 29, 2018 1:04 PM

I'm setting a new challenge for myself to try to meet someone without the usage of apps like Grindr / Tinder and websites like OkCupid.

I'd also rather not frequent gay bars either. I realize this eliminates allot.

Any ideas?

posted by audio to Human Relations (17 answers total)

Local theater groups.

Churches in liberal/urban areas, especially the choral groups produced by said churches. And secular choral groups.
posted by Melismata at 1:13 PM on November 29, 2018 [5 favorites]

Gay community focused volunteer groups.
posted by DarlingBri at 1:18 PM on November 29, 2018

LGBTQ events or political (not necessarily queer) activism
posted by Automocar at 1:23 PM on November 29, 2018

A friend of mine joined a gay amateur volleyball team.
posted by Julnyes at 1:31 PM on November 29, 2018

Your collegiate alumni organisation?
posted by parmanparman at 1:48 PM on November 29, 2018

are you in or near a city with a lgbtqi center? they host events or can point you to orgs catering to a range of interests.
posted by brujita at 2:11 PM on November 29, 2018

Frontrunners LGBT running club. Some of them will do Couch to 5K sessions if you're not already a runner and/or have walking groups.
posted by penguin pie at 2:17 PM on November 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

A large midwestern city near me has two all-gay rugby teams, and my small midwestern city has a gay men's chorus, a drag queen troupe that hosts all kind of charitable events, an LGBT community center, a gay reading group, a pride parade, an LGBT film festival, and a volunteer organization focused on providing care for gay elders. I'm sure there is a similar variety of groups or events near wherever you live, even if it takes some looking!
posted by Pwoink at 3:07 PM on November 29, 2018

YES to your local community theatre community!
posted by BostonTerrier at 3:30 PM on November 29, 2018

If you happen to live in an area with a gay club, square dancing.
posted by straw at 3:44 PM on November 29, 2018

Do you have any LGBTQ+ film festivals near you? I imagine the bar would be filled with interesting people.
posted by doornoise at 3:45 PM on November 29, 2018

At least where I am, people keep creating Meetup groups (i.e. on the actual Meetup website, not just groups that meet up) even though it feels a bit several-years ago. I get notifications for them and because I was in a queer group (queer knitters, maybe not your speed!) I get notices for those, and people are definitely, yeah, still making LGBT meetup groups with various focuses.
posted by Smearcase at 4:21 PM on November 29, 2018

I have met so many lovely LGBTQ+ people at my local astrology meetings, and I have gone to many such events all over the West Coast, and some in the Midwest. Just, good people.
posted by Atrahasis at 4:37 PM on November 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

Seconding Meetup and also having a dig through Facebook. A good deal of queer community stuff seems to be on Facebook. (There is almost certainly a group called something like [City Name] Queer Exchange where you live. The content definitely varies regionally though--some have community events, some are all housing, some are all buy/sell, etc.)
posted by hoyland at 4:39 PM on November 29, 2018

Festivals! Also choirs!
posted by divabat at 6:39 PM on November 29, 2018

I know you mentioned "not apps", but I've met quite a few local gays (not necessarily looking for dating/hookups) through Instagram.
posted by wats at 5:50 PM on November 30, 2018

There are a lot of LGBT softball leagues around; I joined one when I moved to SF and had a good time and met a lot of new people.
posted by en forme de poire at 10:42 AM on December 4, 2018