another midlife crisis question
November 25, 2018 4:53 AM Subscribe
Hi, I could use some recommendations for positive real or fictional role models for the kind of person I am--female, middle-aged, feminist, and fannish--because I kind of hate that person. And so do many other people.
I'm not handling the big 4-0 real well. I am in therapy for general self-loathing and other issues, but there is something I think you can offer that my therapist might not be able to. I don't have any positive, centered representations of nerdy women around this age. Jean Teasdale and Annie Wilkes come to mind; I'm drawing a blank otherwise.
This doesn't seem to be important, and in the scale of things, it isn't. But increasingly, I don't know how to be in the world. I feel like I deserve to be invisible, like I don't see why others should look at me. I don't take any pleasure in makeup or jewelry anymore, because I don't want to be looked at. I'd like to exist without feeling defiant or defensive.
It's going to be at least twenty-five years before I'm cute for being old and spry and feisty, so I need to feel more comfortable in my own skin. If you can point me to examples of women who do that, I would really appreciate it.
I'm not handling the big 4-0 real well. I am in therapy for general self-loathing and other issues, but there is something I think you can offer that my therapist might not be able to. I don't have any positive, centered representations of nerdy women around this age. Jean Teasdale and Annie Wilkes come to mind; I'm drawing a blank otherwise.
This doesn't seem to be important, and in the scale of things, it isn't. But increasingly, I don't know how to be in the world. I feel like I deserve to be invisible, like I don't see why others should look at me. I don't take any pleasure in makeup or jewelry anymore, because I don't want to be looked at. I'd like to exist without feeling defiant or defensive.
It's going to be at least twenty-five years before I'm cute for being old and spry and feisty, so I need to feel more comfortable in my own skin. If you can point me to examples of women who do that, I would really appreciate it.
I've read a bunch of interesting things lately about being "older" in fandom, so I have a few links on that aspect of your question:
Otaku Journalist: Fandom is better when you’re old
Fanlore pages on Ageism in Fandom and "Too Old for Fandom?", with a collection of posts & comments from people on their experiences of ageism in fandom and why that's garbage
Episode of the podcast Fansplaining on Age & Fandom
posted by ITheCosmos at 6:26 AM on November 25, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by ITheCosmos at 6:26 AM on November 25, 2018 [2 favorites]
I am--female, middle-aged, feminist, and fannish--because I kind of hate that person. And so do many other people.
I would challenge this assumption.
Do you know this to be true?
Especially the last part, about being hated by others. That seems very harsh and untrue, and that could be really leading to this crisis.
I'm a man getting ready to hit the big 58, I've been going to conventions (I assume this is what you mean by fannish) since I was 16, and I have met amazing, fun, flirty, smart, sexy women who are over 40.
Married, unmarried. Kids, no kids. Feminist, not feminist.
Look for those women who attend those conventions at guests and speakers, and then single out those who are over 40. Embrace yourself as they have embraced themselves. Look for fellow guests that fit within this bracket, and go up and talk to them, buy them a drink or a snack, and see what's going on inside their head, and see how they are doing. You may find kindred souls that you can both relate to and get assistance from.
Fandom has it's issues these days, but I believe that it can be healed with radical self-acceptance.
I hope this has been a small help.
I wish you the best!
posted by Major Matt Mason Dixon at 6:28 AM on November 25, 2018 [15 favorites]
I would challenge this assumption.
Do you know this to be true?
Especially the last part, about being hated by others. That seems very harsh and untrue, and that could be really leading to this crisis.
I'm a man getting ready to hit the big 58, I've been going to conventions (I assume this is what you mean by fannish) since I was 16, and I have met amazing, fun, flirty, smart, sexy women who are over 40.
Married, unmarried. Kids, no kids. Feminist, not feminist.
Look for those women who attend those conventions at guests and speakers, and then single out those who are over 40. Embrace yourself as they have embraced themselves. Look for fellow guests that fit within this bracket, and go up and talk to them, buy them a drink or a snack, and see what's going on inside their head, and see how they are doing. You may find kindred souls that you can both relate to and get assistance from.
Fandom has it's issues these days, but I believe that it can be healed with radical self-acceptance.
I hope this has been a small help.
I wish you the best!
posted by Major Matt Mason Dixon at 6:28 AM on November 25, 2018 [15 favorites]
Great question! I love your examples and I think you could do a lot worse than to go through life channeling Kathy Bates.
I read crime fiction, and many of the authors are women 40 or over who are glamorous in different ways. Megan Abbott is over 40; I just saw an article describing her as "the next big thing." You come into your own late in a field like that; a lot of these people seem to have been working on a style that's not a style for quite some time, and before they were making money. At the moment I can't put my finger on a blog post or newsletter by the wonderful Sarah Weinman where she talked about aging and weight gain and said something like "but with age (or weight?) comes power."
Recently binge-watching episodes of Anthony Bourdain, I noticed a lot of interesting women he interviewed. Age, weight, all over the chart. A lot of them have style but not a lot of evident money; most of them are very much into something that they've been brought on to talk about and they are not super self-regarding. I guess I'm revealing my own taste here, that it's important for style not to depend on consumerist values.
posted by BibiRose at 6:34 AM on November 25, 2018 [5 favorites]
I read crime fiction, and many of the authors are women 40 or over who are glamorous in different ways. Megan Abbott is over 40; I just saw an article describing her as "the next big thing." You come into your own late in a field like that; a lot of these people seem to have been working on a style that's not a style for quite some time, and before they were making money. At the moment I can't put my finger on a blog post or newsletter by the wonderful Sarah Weinman where she talked about aging and weight gain and said something like "but with age (or weight?) comes power."
Recently binge-watching episodes of Anthony Bourdain, I noticed a lot of interesting women he interviewed. Age, weight, all over the chart. A lot of them have style but not a lot of evident money; most of them are very much into something that they've been brought on to talk about and they are not super self-regarding. I guess I'm revealing my own taste here, that it's important for style not to depend on consumerist values.
posted by BibiRose at 6:34 AM on November 25, 2018 [5 favorites]
Oh, I want to also add to my list Elizabeth Minkel's "The Year of Loving Things Again"!
posted by ITheCosmos at 7:00 AM on November 25, 2018
posted by ITheCosmos at 7:00 AM on November 25, 2018
I haven't really followed their work outside of the Great British Bake Off so I don't actually know the geography of their nerdiness, but Mel and Sue, the former hosts of that show, are wonderful and each has her own style. In general all the Great British shows - Bake Off, the Sewing Bee, and the Pottery Throwdown - feature a lot of interesting women of all ages and looks who are very into at least one thing, and each has an interesting female judge aged 40-50 and up (caveat that if the Sewing Bee sounds at all interesting to you, I recommend starting with the 4th season, which has imo the best judge and various great older women, at least one of whom I can easily imagine being into fandom.) On that note, I'd never really watched anything with Amy Pohler before Making It and she was surprisingly great.
Any chance you can meet up locally with women around your age who have similar interests? 40s is probably a busy time for many of them, especially if they have kids, but there are always people who manage to still make time for the things they loved when they were younger.
posted by trig at 7:02 AM on November 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
Any chance you can meet up locally with women around your age who have similar interests? 40s is probably a busy time for many of them, especially if they have kids, but there are always people who manage to still make time for the things they loved when they were younger.
posted by trig at 7:02 AM on November 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
Naomi Novik is a pretty good role model for this, actually.
posted by joyceanmachine at 7:02 AM on November 25, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by joyceanmachine at 7:02 AM on November 25, 2018 [2 favorites]
Spry and feisty is cute at any age, if anyone tells you otherwise they are not your friends or sources you should trust.
posted by SaltySalticid at 7:07 AM on November 25, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by SaltySalticid at 7:07 AM on November 25, 2018 [7 favorites]
I’m 42 and am the dorkiest fangirl ever. If you have a local fandom meetup group, have you thought about joining it? The one in my city is even organized by a middle aged woman.
If you don’t have one in your area, you could get involved in online fandom. I have so many wonderful role models that I all met online that are older than me and fannish and fantastic. And they are all feminist and feisty and accepting and what I strive to be.
posted by ilovewinter at 8:19 AM on November 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
If you don’t have one in your area, you could get involved in online fandom. I have so many wonderful role models that I all met online that are older than me and fannish and fantastic. And they are all feminist and feisty and accepting and what I strive to be.
posted by ilovewinter at 8:19 AM on November 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
Seanan McGuire came out of (is still in?) fandom, and has been extremely outspoken about how writing fanfiction got her on the path she's on, and how fandom is ageist but fuck that. Her twitter is here (full disclosure: I don't follow her, but her twitter threads make the rounds on Tumblr very regularly.)
A little pursuant to what ilovewinter wrote -- I'm still in fandom (well, returning to after about a year's break) at 36. Tumblr is a den of shit, but it is possible to find older fannish women and become friends with them. I highly recommend it! I've been in fandom since I was 14 or 15, and it's a different kind of fun now; I have no patience for toxicity or people who make me feel bad, and although it's not up there with LJ, Tumblr does let you curate your corner of fandom ruthlessly. (You must be ruthless, though -- there's a ton of drama and toxicity at any age, but I think by the time people are around our age, they've largely outgrown it and are just old and have jobs and little patience for making trouble.)
posted by kalimac at 8:39 AM on November 25, 2018 [4 favorites]
A little pursuant to what ilovewinter wrote -- I'm still in fandom (well, returning to after about a year's break) at 36. Tumblr is a den of shit, but it is possible to find older fannish women and become friends with them. I highly recommend it! I've been in fandom since I was 14 or 15, and it's a different kind of fun now; I have no patience for toxicity or people who make me feel bad, and although it's not up there with LJ, Tumblr does let you curate your corner of fandom ruthlessly. (You must be ruthless, though -- there's a ton of drama and toxicity at any age, but I think by the time people are around our age, they've largely outgrown it and are just old and have jobs and little patience for making trouble.)
posted by kalimac at 8:39 AM on November 25, 2018 [4 favorites]
because I kind of hate that person
Why do you hate that person? Maybe make yourself a list, and try to be specific. Is your hatred of those "hateable" things tied into personal experiences within fandom/general life, or is it projection of the self-loathing you're already working on? Knowing precisely which aspects of this identity you're struggling with might help guide you to better fandom resources -- and the list might be helpful in therapy, too.
posted by halation at 9:18 AM on November 25, 2018 [4 favorites]
Why do you hate that person? Maybe make yourself a list, and try to be specific. Is your hatred of those "hateable" things tied into personal experiences within fandom/general life, or is it projection of the self-loathing you're already working on? Knowing precisely which aspects of this identity you're struggling with might help guide you to better fandom resources -- and the list might be helpful in therapy, too.
posted by halation at 9:18 AM on November 25, 2018 [4 favorites]
Please listen to the Forever 35 Podcast. The two hosts are friends- I think one is 40 and one is slightly over. They do like to talk about makeup and skin care, but this is a very small part of topics that include mental health, politics, feminism and self care habits. I think they speak to the issues that you are struggling with above. They are both frank and open about their struggles with various things in life and also very funny.
posted by bookrach at 11:58 AM on November 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by bookrach at 11:58 AM on November 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
female, middle-aged, feminist, and fannish - I especially like that sort of person.
The world doesn't much like women (ex. Clinton, Pelosi), feminists(feminazis, amirite), and Fandom is male-dominated by the sort of trollboys who especially like to belittle women.
So, it's not easy to be a woman. We make less money get less respect, lower socio-economic status, etc. As you age, that gets worse. But crones are most likely to give no fucks, take no prisoners, accept no substitutes. Embrace it or keep trying to have a role in the rest of the world. My crone friends of all ages are creative and interesting. Join us.
posted by theora55 at 1:45 PM on November 25, 2018 [13 favorites]
The world doesn't much like women (ex. Clinton, Pelosi), feminists(feminazis, amirite), and Fandom is male-dominated by the sort of trollboys who especially like to belittle women.
So, it's not easy to be a woman. We make less money get less respect, lower socio-economic status, etc. As you age, that gets worse. But crones are most likely to give no fucks, take no prisoners, accept no substitutes. Embrace it or keep trying to have a role in the rest of the world. My crone friends of all ages are creative and interesting. Join us.
posted by theora55 at 1:45 PM on November 25, 2018 [13 favorites]
Female, middle-aged (about to be 50), feminist, and fannish here.
I started attending conventions when I was 13 years old. I can make Thai peanut noodle salad. I've beta-read for four or five of the best-known fanfiction authors in my main fandoms. I was a professional opera singer until that career was cut short by disease. I generally have about 25 AO3 tabs open at any given time. I taught myself how to code GUI websites back when there were four HTML tags, and one of them was <blink>. I co-founded the Yuletide winter holiday fanfiction gift exchange. I bluffed my way into a job as the Webmaster for Chicago's PBS station, and held the gig for four years until I decided to go to grad school. I started making vids when you needed to have two pro-sumer VCRs, and continued well into the computer age, remastering as I went. I have two cats and one housemate. My early fanfiction and opinion pieces were published in well-known zines in the late 80s/early 90s. I teach teens how to read critically and how to navigate high-school math. I co-founded VividCon. I also teach teens how to drive. I host viewing marathons at my house that fannish friends, or friends I've made through fandom, drive for hours and hours to attend. I have plans to learn how to bake cakes. Once I lost my mind at a musical and started shouting at the actors during curtain calls that they deserved much better material and I was so sorry, and continued the rant out onto the street, up on to the El platform, on the El, and all the way back home. I've chaired dozens of panels at fannish conventions over the years. I've explained the moving parts of Shakespeare's plays to teens who started the class as stereotypically as you can imagine and ended the class desperate to do "just one more scene!" I used to order cakes for the birthdays of fictional characters and then host fannish birthday parties, complete with viewings of the top episodes for the character. I play the piano and the guitar. More than a few fans over the years have squealed with joy upon learning that I wrote *that* story or made *that* vid, and I have done the same to countless other fans. I have very healthy teeth. I have brought more than one pair of now-best-friends together through knowing both of them in different fandoms and then introducing them to one another. I speak French and a little Italian. One of my fannish mentors was the woman who invented Mary Sue. I've choreographed ballroom dances for local professional theater companies. At the pinnacle of my fannish collection years, I had over 350 print zines and 2,000 VHS tapes.
I am not unique in having this kind of life summary. We are legion, and we are awesome.
Please consider me for your next real-life role model.
posted by tzikeh at 5:53 PM on November 25, 2018 [30 favorites]
I started attending conventions when I was 13 years old. I can make Thai peanut noodle salad. I've beta-read for four or five of the best-known fanfiction authors in my main fandoms. I was a professional opera singer until that career was cut short by disease. I generally have about 25 AO3 tabs open at any given time. I taught myself how to code GUI websites back when there were four HTML tags, and one of them was <blink>. I co-founded the Yuletide winter holiday fanfiction gift exchange. I bluffed my way into a job as the Webmaster for Chicago's PBS station, and held the gig for four years until I decided to go to grad school. I started making vids when you needed to have two pro-sumer VCRs, and continued well into the computer age, remastering as I went. I have two cats and one housemate. My early fanfiction and opinion pieces were published in well-known zines in the late 80s/early 90s. I teach teens how to read critically and how to navigate high-school math. I co-founded VividCon. I also teach teens how to drive. I host viewing marathons at my house that fannish friends, or friends I've made through fandom, drive for hours and hours to attend. I have plans to learn how to bake cakes. Once I lost my mind at a musical and started shouting at the actors during curtain calls that they deserved much better material and I was so sorry, and continued the rant out onto the street, up on to the El platform, on the El, and all the way back home. I've chaired dozens of panels at fannish conventions over the years. I've explained the moving parts of Shakespeare's plays to teens who started the class as stereotypically as you can imagine and ended the class desperate to do "just one more scene!" I used to order cakes for the birthdays of fictional characters and then host fannish birthday parties, complete with viewings of the top episodes for the character. I play the piano and the guitar. More than a few fans over the years have squealed with joy upon learning that I wrote *that* story or made *that* vid, and I have done the same to countless other fans. I have very healthy teeth. I have brought more than one pair of now-best-friends together through knowing both of them in different fandoms and then introducing them to one another. I speak French and a little Italian. One of my fannish mentors was the woman who invented Mary Sue. I've choreographed ballroom dances for local professional theater companies. At the pinnacle of my fannish collection years, I had over 350 print zines and 2,000 VHS tapes.
I am not unique in having this kind of life summary. We are legion, and we are awesome.
Please consider me for your next real-life role model.
posted by tzikeh at 5:53 PM on November 25, 2018 [30 favorites]
I am that person, and am significantly older than 40, alas. However, I have to say, I have found being in mid-life to be fairly wonderful. I can do what I want, spend my time and money how I want, and I care SO much less about what other people think of me, it's not even funny, which frees up my time and energy for other things.
I hope your therapist is able to help, because, even though society may not like "older women" very much, being one can be a lot of fun!
posted by dancing_angel at 5:54 PM on November 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
I hope your therapist is able to help, because, even though society may not like "older women" very much, being one can be a lot of fun!
posted by dancing_angel at 5:54 PM on November 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
The persona I've adopted in middle age is Cool Aunt and I highly recommend it. Picture Whoopi Goldberg's character in Star Trek TNG, or your typical therapist character. Or even Eyebrows McGee. The aunt who gets it, eg, who stands up for her gay niece or nephew to the rest of the family.
Style-wise, for me this means lots of flowy cardigans and turquoise jewelry. The basic lefty, UU, NPR-listener look.
It's a really lovely way to go through the world. In fandom I imagine there are a lot of people who live life at the margins, feeling like they never quite fit in. Maybe their own families think they're geeky or weird. If you can be a non-judgemental female presence, that is really powerful. People are craving acceptance.
The reason Jean Teasdale and the Kathy Bates character seem unappealing is that they're both kinds of crazy and self centered. Cool aunt is basically the opposite of that. Cool aunt actually looks at you and sees you.
If you can look at people in your fannish community and really see them, that is a gift to the whole community.
posted by selfmedicating at 6:46 PM on November 25, 2018 [5 favorites]
Style-wise, for me this means lots of flowy cardigans and turquoise jewelry. The basic lefty, UU, NPR-listener look.
It's a really lovely way to go through the world. In fandom I imagine there are a lot of people who live life at the margins, feeling like they never quite fit in. Maybe their own families think they're geeky or weird. If you can be a non-judgemental female presence, that is really powerful. People are craving acceptance.
The reason Jean Teasdale and the Kathy Bates character seem unappealing is that they're both kinds of crazy and self centered. Cool aunt is basically the opposite of that. Cool aunt actually looks at you and sees you.
If you can look at people in your fannish community and really see them, that is a gift to the whole community.
posted by selfmedicating at 6:46 PM on November 25, 2018 [5 favorites]
Why do you hate that person? Maybe make yourself a list, and try to be specific. Is your hatred of those "hateable" things tied into personal experiences within fandom/general life, or is it projection of the self-loathing you're already working on?
I strongly agree with this. Generic "I hate that kind of person" reactions really require unpacking, and, as they oh-so-conveniently line up with nasty societal prejudices, challenging. Not all fannish-type behaviors are necessarily attractive or appropriate in all contexts, and they get even less so as the fan gets older and hopefully should have a bit more sense. On the other hand, others are only seen as wrong or unappealing because, oh my god, an older woman spending time on an enthusiasm of her own instead of tending to everyone else? Maybe one with sexual overtones? Heaven forfend!!! I tend to suspect the latter is operating heavily with you, as you seem to be endorsing the shitty opinions of society ("many other people hate [people like me]") as if they had some kind of weight, but the former might be present as well. Depending on your actual life circumstances, it's not wrong to feel that, e.g., you're frittering away some time best spent on something more important in your life--as long as you're not just slapping the label "frittering" on "any activity that a woman does by herself for fun" or "important" on "tending to other people, because that's my Womanly Responsibility." And you can work on making the way you spend your time align with your values; just make sure they're your values.
Maybe it's because I live in NYC, but the media fans I know in their forties are all professionally accomplished (some very highly indeed)--award-winning writers, tenured professors, agents who've repped writers you've heard of, lawyers who've worked on cases worth hundreds of millions of dollars, professional activists. Some are disabled and can't necessarily work outside the home but make art and do politics. Some are married, some are single; some have kids, some don't. There's the usual spectrum of sexualities. There's a wide range of personal styles, the women with purple hair and slightly gothy clothes, the professorial types, the women in the all-black indistinguishable from the other women striding around midtown, women of color pursuing their own aesthetics in addition to/on top of some of these other styles. A wide range of personalities, too: the rebels and the organizers, the easygoing and the stroppy, the loud and outgoing and the more introverted (shyness becomes less a controlling aspect of your life as you get older, more an extra step you have to take in dealing with life). Some are neurotypical, some not. Some have a lot of other interests, some make fandom their primary hobby. Probably some of them are happier with their lives than others. Maybe the only thing they really have in common is that they take their own passions and interests seriously. The point is: it's a group of women who, if you stumbled into one of their social gatherings without being told, I doubt you'd think to "hate" unless you were just acting out ingrained internalized misogyny against women in their forties generally.
posted by praemunire at 8:22 PM on November 25, 2018 [6 favorites]
I strongly agree with this. Generic "I hate that kind of person" reactions really require unpacking, and, as they oh-so-conveniently line up with nasty societal prejudices, challenging. Not all fannish-type behaviors are necessarily attractive or appropriate in all contexts, and they get even less so as the fan gets older and hopefully should have a bit more sense. On the other hand, others are only seen as wrong or unappealing because, oh my god, an older woman spending time on an enthusiasm of her own instead of tending to everyone else? Maybe one with sexual overtones? Heaven forfend!!! I tend to suspect the latter is operating heavily with you, as you seem to be endorsing the shitty opinions of society ("many other people hate [people like me]") as if they had some kind of weight, but the former might be present as well. Depending on your actual life circumstances, it's not wrong to feel that, e.g., you're frittering away some time best spent on something more important in your life--as long as you're not just slapping the label "frittering" on "any activity that a woman does by herself for fun" or "important" on "tending to other people, because that's my Womanly Responsibility." And you can work on making the way you spend your time align with your values; just make sure they're your values.
Maybe it's because I live in NYC, but the media fans I know in their forties are all professionally accomplished (some very highly indeed)--award-winning writers, tenured professors, agents who've repped writers you've heard of, lawyers who've worked on cases worth hundreds of millions of dollars, professional activists. Some are disabled and can't necessarily work outside the home but make art and do politics. Some are married, some are single; some have kids, some don't. There's the usual spectrum of sexualities. There's a wide range of personal styles, the women with purple hair and slightly gothy clothes, the professorial types, the women in the all-black indistinguishable from the other women striding around midtown, women of color pursuing their own aesthetics in addition to/on top of some of these other styles. A wide range of personalities, too: the rebels and the organizers, the easygoing and the stroppy, the loud and outgoing and the more introverted (shyness becomes less a controlling aspect of your life as you get older, more an extra step you have to take in dealing with life). Some are neurotypical, some not. Some have a lot of other interests, some make fandom their primary hobby. Probably some of them are happier with their lives than others. Maybe the only thing they really have in common is that they take their own passions and interests seriously. The point is: it's a group of women who, if you stumbled into one of their social gatherings without being told, I doubt you'd think to "hate" unless you were just acting out ingrained internalized misogyny against women in their forties generally.
posted by praemunire at 8:22 PM on November 25, 2018 [6 favorites]
1) I found role models/inspiration for my weirdo spinster life by listing women whose work I admired, crossing off those who died young, crossing off the married ones and ones who would have been married had gay marriage been legal, and I was left with a (short) list of inspiration/role models. This can be a tool for finding role models of your own. Who is creating work that you admire?
2) You said that you were fannish, so I assume you know that online fandom is a thing that exists and that tumblr is full of teens and young adults constantly posting about how women over 30 are gross and creepy. Delete tumblr. If you're struggling with ageism, you probably don't have the time or emotional resources to aggressively curate your experience. Delete tumblr and stay out of spaces that pride themselves on negativity.
3) I don't love the name, but I agree with bookrach that Forever 35 is a good podcast. I discovered it a couple of weeks ago when I was googling over 35 winter skin care and even though my life and the lives of their guests don't have much in common, it is still interesting and sometimes inspirational to listen to other women's stories. (But my winter skin issues remain unsolved.)
posted by betweenthebars at 8:40 PM on November 25, 2018 [2 favorites]
2) You said that you were fannish, so I assume you know that online fandom is a thing that exists and that tumblr is full of teens and young adults constantly posting about how women over 30 are gross and creepy. Delete tumblr. If you're struggling with ageism, you probably don't have the time or emotional resources to aggressively curate your experience. Delete tumblr and stay out of spaces that pride themselves on negativity.
3) I don't love the name, but I agree with bookrach that Forever 35 is a good podcast. I discovered it a couple of weeks ago when I was googling over 35 winter skin care and even though my life and the lives of their guests don't have much in common, it is still interesting and sometimes inspirational to listen to other women's stories. (But my winter skin issues remain unsolved.)
posted by betweenthebars at 8:40 PM on November 25, 2018 [2 favorites]
Heather and Jessica of Go Fug Yourself fit into this bracket I think. As does their readeship, i think one can assume. They have many great posts and tropes celebrating this time and age. Their website is a good one to have in your feed if that is a thing you do. No links on phone sorry.
posted by jojobobo at 12:21 AM on November 26, 2018
posted by jojobobo at 12:21 AM on November 26, 2018
I think JK Rowling fits the bill. I've always found her her twitter feed to be delightfully fannish about her collaborators (and even about her own fans.)
posted by yankeefog at 3:28 AM on November 26, 2018
posted by yankeefog at 3:28 AM on November 26, 2018
Do you know the writer Rainbow Rowell? She's in her mid-40s, is adorable and adored, talented, and a huge fangirl. She's active on Twitter and Tumblr.
posted by tangosnail at 2:34 PM on November 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by tangosnail at 2:34 PM on November 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
I recommend reading this long interview (and others) with the musician Björk, age 53. If you are at all interested in art or fashion or pop music, she is a singular voice, going into her fourth decade as a big top public figure, with all the expectations and stereotypes that go along with that.
posted by rollick at 8:51 AM on November 29, 2018
posted by rollick at 8:51 AM on November 29, 2018
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by xo at 5:47 AM on November 25, 2018 [11 favorites]