First hand accounts of mid-life crises - after the fact
November 24, 2018 1:05 PM Subscribe
A recent AskMeFi had me interested in finding first hand (true, not fictional) accounts of people who went through mid-life crises and how they interpret it years later.
This could be a blog, article, book or even your own account if you'd be willing to share. I'm not interested in hearing stories from people who were around those with mid-life crises - i.e. partners, children, friends etc. I feel like I've heard a lot of those stories. I'm actually interested in stories from the source and want some sort of insight from them as to what was traveling through their brain at the time and how they interpret it years later.
This could be a blog, article, book or even your own account if you'd be willing to share. I'm not interested in hearing stories from people who were around those with mid-life crises - i.e. partners, children, friends etc. I feel like I've heard a lot of those stories. I'm actually interested in stories from the source and want some sort of insight from them as to what was traveling through their brain at the time and how they interpret it years later.
There’s a book called U-Turn: What if You Woke Up One Morning and Realized You Were Living the Wrong Life.
It’s looking at a lot of true stories of people who decided to change their whole lives in lots of ways and how it worked out for them. There are famous cases like Gauguin and also interviews with contemporary people. It also examines what contributes to people behaving this way.
Of course, this depends on how you’re defining mid-life crisis. If you’re thinking of it as a more negative thing where men leave their wives and buy sports cars, this may not be what you’re looking for, though these aren’t all great experiences.
posted by FencingGal at 1:53 PM on November 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
It’s looking at a lot of true stories of people who decided to change their whole lives in lots of ways and how it worked out for them. There are famous cases like Gauguin and also interviews with contemporary people. It also examines what contributes to people behaving this way.
Of course, this depends on how you’re defining mid-life crisis. If you’re thinking of it as a more negative thing where men leave their wives and buy sports cars, this may not be what you’re looking for, though these aren’t all great experiences.
posted by FencingGal at 1:53 PM on November 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
Meghan Daum writes about throwing aside after a decade the New York literary life she grew up thinking of as her destiny, chucking it all and moving to Nebraska, in fictional form in her novel Life Would Be Perfect If I lived in That House, and non-fictionally in her essay collection The Unspeakable.
posted by escabeche at 2:59 PM on November 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by escabeche at 2:59 PM on November 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
Gregg Levoy's books frequently mention people having a crisis and figuring out what to do when they want to change their lives.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:50 PM on November 24, 2018
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:50 PM on November 24, 2018
Best answer: I don’t know if these were midlife crises, but my friends describe them that way.
In my mid thirties I followed up a divorce by declaring myself burned out on my job, selling or giving away everything I owned, and hitting the road for a year. When I came back I lived another three years until I was close to depleting my savings and then concluded that I had been in the best job for me in the first place and went back to a more traditional life.
Eight years later I came to grips with the fact that I had never really regained the fire and discipline I had in my career. That and a dear friend’s death led me say fuck it, life is too short and quit my job to once again live off savings. I created a few works of art that I’m proud of as well as spending six months retraining in what appeared to be a more interesting part of my field. It wasn’t, so I sold or gave away everything I owned and moved to Mexico. (I should mention I have no ties here and spoke almost no Spanish when I arrived.). I’m currently barely ekeing out a living on interest from my savings and planning on doing some consulting and such to shore up my income. Mostly though I’m creating art and doing community service.
As I said, my friends insist these were midlife crises when to me they’re just... life. They were the right thing to do at that time. I particularly have no regrets because they were done in the spirit of abandoning a life that no longer suited me. Sloughing off the old skin is hard and I’m happy I was able to do it. I attribute a lot of flack I receive to the fact that many people through circumstance or simple fear cannot follow suit.
(Speaking of circumstance, I am aware of the luck that allowed me to take this path. My education and skills are such that I could blow through a big chunk of my savings with confidence that I could rebuild them later. My health requires some maintenance but nothing unmanageable with planning and determination. I have no dependents.)
So twice now I have uprooted my life, the first time due to a changing sense of who I was and what I wanted, the second due to the shock of having someone who was such a deep and rich fount of life cut down in her prime. At this point I am still very comfortable with the thought that life is short, and I owe it to her memory to live it for real.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 7:53 AM on November 25, 2018 [5 favorites]
In my mid thirties I followed up a divorce by declaring myself burned out on my job, selling or giving away everything I owned, and hitting the road for a year. When I came back I lived another three years until I was close to depleting my savings and then concluded that I had been in the best job for me in the first place and went back to a more traditional life.
Eight years later I came to grips with the fact that I had never really regained the fire and discipline I had in my career. That and a dear friend’s death led me say fuck it, life is too short and quit my job to once again live off savings. I created a few works of art that I’m proud of as well as spending six months retraining in what appeared to be a more interesting part of my field. It wasn’t, so I sold or gave away everything I owned and moved to Mexico. (I should mention I have no ties here and spoke almost no Spanish when I arrived.). I’m currently barely ekeing out a living on interest from my savings and planning on doing some consulting and such to shore up my income. Mostly though I’m creating art and doing community service.
As I said, my friends insist these were midlife crises when to me they’re just... life. They were the right thing to do at that time. I particularly have no regrets because they were done in the spirit of abandoning a life that no longer suited me. Sloughing off the old skin is hard and I’m happy I was able to do it. I attribute a lot of flack I receive to the fact that many people through circumstance or simple fear cannot follow suit.
(Speaking of circumstance, I am aware of the luck that allowed me to take this path. My education and skills are such that I could blow through a big chunk of my savings with confidence that I could rebuild them later. My health requires some maintenance but nothing unmanageable with planning and determination. I have no dependents.)
So twice now I have uprooted my life, the first time due to a changing sense of who I was and what I wanted, the second due to the shock of having someone who was such a deep and rich fount of life cut down in her prime. At this point I am still very comfortable with the thought that life is short, and I owe it to her memory to live it for real.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 7:53 AM on November 25, 2018 [5 favorites]
Po Bronson - What should I do with my life? is pretty good; short vignettes about people making big changes in their life and what they're thinking about it.
posted by Bron at 8:27 AM on November 26, 2018
posted by Bron at 8:27 AM on November 26, 2018
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posted by fshgrl at 1:09 PM on November 24, 2018 [2 favorites]