What certificates could my cat get?

November 15, 2018 12:59 PM

I would like to procure certificates for my cat, to show his qualifications, skills and interests in many areas. What can you suggest? Upper limit is probably about £15-£20.

Somewhat inspired by this question What is the weirdest, most obscure national organization you know of and the certificate of membership in the Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society linked there.

Cat Tax.

posted by paduasoy to Grab Bag (8 answers total)

Do they have to be real certificates? Because I would gladly design any number of certifications for your cat, including auto repair and the Basque language.
posted by overeducated_alligator at 1:43 PM on November 15, 2018 [35 favorites]

Also, your cat may qualify as a Polydactyl Autodidact, depending on his number of toes.
posted by overeducated_alligator at 1:46 PM on November 15, 2018 [10 favorites]

Can you just sign your cat up for stuff? Like, human stuff but using your cat's name? I'm sure it wouldn't be the first cat ordained by the Universal Life Church or the Night Ranger fan club*.

*assuming Night Ranger has a fan club.
posted by bondcliff at 1:47 PM on November 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

I was going to suggest a Witches' Union card, but then I saw that your cat could be a certified Familiar with this patch.
posted by fiercecupcake at 1:54 PM on November 15, 2018 [6 favorites]

Given the look in the cat tax photos, I'd say he more than qualifies for membership in some kind of skeptic society.
posted by twoplussix at 2:08 PM on November 15, 2018 [11 favorites]

I subscribed Sam Katz to numerous magazines, changing the middle initial on each one so that I could track subsequent sales of the mailing lists. Sam was offered many fine things, including time share vacations, publisher’s clearinghouse chances, credit cards, etc. I imagine the same thing would result from joining organizations and earning certificats.
posted by carmicha at 2:39 PM on November 15, 2018 [7 favorites]

A Hypnotherapy certification may be within your budget, and he would not be the first cat to be certified.
posted by Sophont at 3:43 PM on November 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

Check out the Universal Life Church and get your cat ordained.
posted by cwarmy at 6:34 PM on November 15, 2018 [1 favorite]