All-inclusive tropical resort that doesn't suck?
November 5, 2018 1:28 PM   Subscribe

I’m looking for a beach destination for a one-week honeymoon in mid-January. Ideally, we’d go someplace all-inclusive, and fancy enough that we feel pampered somewhat. However, all I know about all-inclusive places are from one-star reviews of cheap mega-resorts that constantly try to upsell you into buying into their vacation clubs.

Normally when we travel, we stay at cheap Air BnBs. But this is our honeymoon, and we’re willing to spend a bit more.

Are there all-inclusive places that are 1. Not cookie-cutter, 2. Not enormous, 3. Have pretty good food and drinks, 4. Fairly quiet – no “entertainment” at the pool, 5. Are on or near a nice beach? We like places like Tulum, Vieques, St. John’s, Belize. We like snorkeling a lot.

I'm so used to searching TravelZoo and Cheap Caribbean, I honestly don't know how to find what we're looking for! Thanks for your help.
posted by chowflap to Travel & Transportation (13 answers total) 24 users marked this as a favorite
 
I'm so used to searching TravelZoo and Cheap Caribbean, I honestly don't know how to find what we're looking for! Thanks for your help.

TripAdvisor is pretty reliable in this regard.
posted by DarlingBri at 1:38 PM on November 5, 2018


Sandals resort exuma. 90 rooms each with it's own butler. No ludicrous but exclusive. Best Beaches on the planet. Swimming pigs tours, golfing, fishing, seafood etc.
posted by chasles at 1:40 PM on November 5, 2018


It's spendy for sure, but hands down I'd go for Jade Mountain in St. Lucia if you can afford it. It's breathtaking.

If that's not to your liking, might I also suggest you go the old fashioned way and talk to a travel agent? There are ones who specialize it travel to tropical locations and/or honeymoons. They can give you a ton of ideas in your price range and they know a lot of insider information, including the best times of year to go. The nice thing is once you've chosen a spot, they take all your details, make all the arrangements and then give youa folio with your itinerary & tickets. All you have to do is show up with your passport & luggage.
posted by trixare4kids at 2:08 PM on November 5, 2018 [5 favorites]


Response by poster: Oh man, trixare4kids, that place looks incredible but it's well out of our budget. I'm thinking more like $500 a night.... Under $700, for sure. Sigh.
posted by chowflap at 2:17 PM on November 5, 2018


Best answer: I'd look at some of the various "adults only" resorts on Riviera Maya, south of Cancun, in Mexico. I've stayed at a few of them and they seem to be close to what you're asking for. Definitely avoid the bigger hotels, and anything in Cancun proper.

Specifically, I have stayed at a couple of the Karisma resort properties, including the El Dorado Royale (look at the casitas rooms if you want to be right on the beach and have more privacy/quiet) and the El Dorado Seaside Suites (upper-floor seaview rooms are the quietest, swim-up poolside rooms are more fun if you want to drink with friends).

Both, at least when I was there, seemed to cater to more of an older and UK-based clientele than the average Cancun resort. They're expensive enough that they don't attract spring breakers or kids looking to get shitfaced, but not astronomically expensive. Sometimes there are significant discounts if you go through a travel agent; what you'll find on their website is only the rack rate—don't pay it without shopping around a bit.

I've heard nice things about the El Dorado Maroma, which is their newest property and has over-water casitas, but it's $500+ night and I haven't actually gone there. I'm sure it's quite nice if that's within your price range, though.

If you're searching, do check to see if "adults only" means literally just adults-only (and typically alcohol included) or if it's a euphemism for clothing-optional. Let's just say we were surprised once, because at one of the Sensimar resorts they have both.
posted by Kadin2048 at 2:52 PM on November 5, 2018 [6 favorites]


I've been to Sandals Ocho Rios in Jamaica, and they also have one with the butler service, Royal Plantation. It's a fab place, and the waterfall excursion, while typical, was really fantastic.

It was adults only, and I never felt pressured into joining into any of the stuff, if I wanted to sit in a hot tub, or take a mini tour of tropical plants, I did that. Maybe one night I went to the dancing thing at the ground floor bar, but other than that, it was pretty relaxing. We met some great people there as well. Oh, and parasailing -- that was outside the resort, but it was fantastic!
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 3:28 PM on November 5, 2018 [2 favorites]


We went to Sandals Halcyon Beach in St. Lucia. It is the smallest of the three Sandals resorts on the island and was perfect for us as we were not looking for a party atmosphere. You can take shuttles to the other two resorts on the island and use all of their amenities for free as well. We paid a bit more for a beach front walkout with a soaking tub. Get the soaking tub! It was so nice when we wanted some additional privacy (they have curtains) or when it got rainy and we didn't want to stay in the room. We paid for an excursion that included a catamaran cruise, a mud bath, tour of a cocoa plantation and lunch, a drive in volcano, waterfall, the Pitons, and snorkeling.
posted by Nolechick11 at 5:57 PM on November 5, 2018 [3 favorites]


Couples Tower Isle! I got married there five years ago and my parents went like a dozen times when I was growing up. It's fairly small, adults only, couples only, great service, great food, and super beautiful. I strongly strongly recommend it!
posted by masquesoporfavor at 6:17 PM on November 5, 2018 [3 favorites]


Also recommend Couples Tower Isle, with a pro tip of booking the flights at the same time (ended up being the same price as the a la cart room rate). If you can swing it, the Spa Villas with unlimited spa treatments and private plunge pool was very extraordinary!!
posted by ellerhodes at 7:22 PM on November 5, 2018 [3 favorites]


Anse Chastanet in St. Lucia is Jade Mountain's charming older cousin. Absolutely fantastic, and more affordable than Jade Mountain by far, IIRC. Depending on their definition of high season, you might be able to score something in your price range by mid-January.
posted by somanyamys at 8:41 AM on November 6, 2018 [2 favorites]


I stayed at Couples San Souci for my belated honeymoon and it was lovely!
posted by tangosnail at 10:15 AM on November 6, 2018 [1 favorite]


It's been a while since I stayed at one, but the Paradisus Resorts are affordable but nice, and you can upgrade to the more private/luxurious suites/villas.
posted by tryniti at 12:17 PM on November 6, 2018


Dreams Villamagna in Nuevo Vallarta is exactly what you're looking for, just north of Puerto Vallarta!
Yes to all five of your requests.
My wife and I went there last November and both loved it, especially the quiet around the pools, lots of space, beautiful beach, great food and people.
I don't like big loud resorts and would happily go back there again.
posted by drinkmaildave at 10:40 PM on November 13, 2018


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