Will my cats ever be friends again after one went on vacation?
October 26, 2018 4:43 AM Subscribe
I have 2 5-year old indoor-only sibling cats who were very bonded. Earlier this week, one cat (E) escaped. He spent two days under my house before I got him back inside. Now the brother cat (B), can't stand E and hisses, growls, and puffs up when he is near. I've read this isn't uncommon and is called "non-recognition aggression", but I need some advice on getting through this.
So far, the cats have been separated for a few days. I'm currently rotating them between the bedroom and the rest of the house a few times a day. I've purchased those calming diffusers, deodorized E the Escapee, and have been rubbing one of my shirts on both cats a few times a day. I'm also feeding them on either side of the bedroom door. So far, nothing is working. This is really stressful and it is difficult to keep up this separation. What else can I do to help my cat recognize his brother and stop seeing him as a threat?
Obligatory cat tax, obviously before the escape.
So far, the cats have been separated for a few days. I'm currently rotating them between the bedroom and the rest of the house a few times a day. I've purchased those calming diffusers, deodorized E the Escapee, and have been rubbing one of my shirts on both cats a few times a day. I'm also feeding them on either side of the bedroom door. So far, nothing is working. This is really stressful and it is difficult to keep up this separation. What else can I do to help my cat recognize his brother and stop seeing him as a threat?
Obligatory cat tax, obviously before the escape.
It sounds like you're doing all the right things, I think if you just keep at it B will come around, just give it more time, less than a week isn't very long. I mean, with brand new to each other cats, it can take weeks or longer for them to become buddies, and to B's brain this is a new cat.
In addition to the diffusers, you can get calming-pheromone collars, which might be more effective. I've gotten them from my vet rather than the store, so I don't remember the exact brand name, it's different than Feliway. (It also might be worth taking both cats to the vet together, even if there's nothing wrong with the non-escapee B cat -- back when I had two very-bonded cats, whenever I took Loki to the vet without Wolf, Wolf would be hissy at him for a couple of hours on his return. If I took them both together, there was never that phase of unrecognition at Loki for smelling like the vet's office.)
posted by oh yeah! at 5:41 AM on October 26, 2018
In addition to the diffusers, you can get calming-pheromone collars, which might be more effective. I've gotten them from my vet rather than the store, so I don't remember the exact brand name, it's different than Feliway. (It also might be worth taking both cats to the vet together, even if there's nothing wrong with the non-escapee B cat -- back when I had two very-bonded cats, whenever I took Loki to the vet without Wolf, Wolf would be hissy at him for a couple of hours on his return. If I took them both together, there was never that phase of unrecognition at Loki for smelling like the vet's office.)
posted by oh yeah! at 5:41 AM on October 26, 2018
Assuming that the escapee you've recaptured isn't a doppleganger like jeather's uncle's situation, they should return to normal after a bit.
My partner had two sibling cats that were ridiculously bonded and chummy, and the same thing happened when they were separated due to one getting out.
My two older cats aren't chummy, but they had settled into a decent truce when I had to take one to the vet for a tooth removal and she was gone all day. When she returned the other cat was deeply hostile (like, worse than when they were first introduced) but they were back to their usual routine within a week or so.
Hadn't heard of the vanilla trick, but it might work. Smell definitely seems to be the key - I recently brought in a third cat, and both the adult cats hated her. All they had to do is smell her on my hand or something she'd rubbed vigorously - even when she was nowhere in sight - to go all hissy.
I tried an experiment of brushing all 3 and then letting them smell their own fur, the other cat's fur, and then new cat's fur - same result on both cats: no reaction to their own fur or the other cat's, but new cat's fur immediately brought hostility.
Give them a few days to readjust, they should return to normal in a few days.
posted by jzb at 5:43 AM on October 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
My partner had two sibling cats that were ridiculously bonded and chummy, and the same thing happened when they were separated due to one getting out.
My two older cats aren't chummy, but they had settled into a decent truce when I had to take one to the vet for a tooth removal and she was gone all day. When she returned the other cat was deeply hostile (like, worse than when they were first introduced) but they were back to their usual routine within a week or so.
Hadn't heard of the vanilla trick, but it might work. Smell definitely seems to be the key - I recently brought in a third cat, and both the adult cats hated her. All they had to do is smell her on my hand or something she'd rubbed vigorously - even when she was nowhere in sight - to go all hissy.
I tried an experiment of brushing all 3 and then letting them smell their own fur, the other cat's fur, and then new cat's fur - same result on both cats: no reaction to their own fur or the other cat's, but new cat's fur immediately brought hostility.
Give them a few days to readjust, they should return to normal in a few days.
posted by jzb at 5:43 AM on October 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
Change up the tank. Sorry that's fish but it's the same rules apply with cats. Change up the house. Move cat trees & wash bed spots & shake things up so no one cat now thinks of this as their turf, cats are hugely territorial. Right now the cat that didn't run away is defending it's turf from what it sees as an interloper and Cat B is also trying to do the same thing.
So you basically have to make it new turf to both of them and new cats for both of them & level the playing field then let them get used to the idea the other cat exists before they confront each other.
Don't let them "fight it out" and be sure to offer lots of praise & yummy treats when they do get along.
Put things with the smells of the other cat on in each others spaces so they can get used to each others smell. Swap the spaces you keep them in. So put the other cat in the locked room & let cat B out into the house then a few hours later swap them, so they get used to the other cats smell.
Keep reintroduction sessions short. Lots of 2 minute sessions with no fighting & a happy ending is better than a long session that ends up with one of the cats mad or stressed.
Are you sure the run away cat is healthy. Cats react to signs of illness in other cats strangely sometimes.
posted by wwax at 7:57 AM on October 26, 2018 [6 favorites]
So you basically have to make it new turf to both of them and new cats for both of them & level the playing field then let them get used to the idea the other cat exists before they confront each other.
Don't let them "fight it out" and be sure to offer lots of praise & yummy treats when they do get along.
Put things with the smells of the other cat on in each others spaces so they can get used to each others smell. Swap the spaces you keep them in. So put the other cat in the locked room & let cat B out into the house then a few hours later swap them, so they get used to the other cats smell.
Keep reintroduction sessions short. Lots of 2 minute sessions with no fighting & a happy ending is better than a long session that ends up with one of the cats mad or stressed.
Are you sure the run away cat is healthy. Cats react to signs of illness in other cats strangely sometimes.
posted by wwax at 7:57 AM on October 26, 2018 [6 favorites]
A similar thing happened with my kitties - one fell out the top floor window and lost a tooth and his brother was freaked out so growled and hissed at him for a few days. It seemed a general reaction to something bad happening and not really understanding the cause so being fearful of everything for a while. Luckily they're pretty dumb so forgot all about it after a few days and went back to being best bros, was really sad though. So stop them from having too much conflict and developing any negative patterns but I think should go back to normal soon.
posted by JonB at 8:23 AM on October 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by JonB at 8:23 AM on October 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Great answers, thanks guys! I definitely don't have a doppleganger and the Escapee is healthy, so I guess I just need to give them time. I started blanket swapping and feeding them right next to each other today, with mixed results. I just hope it resolves itself soon!
posted by tryniti at 2:16 PM on October 26, 2018
posted by tryniti at 2:16 PM on October 26, 2018
If the weather is cool where you are, nothing brings kitties together like an electric blanket!
posted by feste at 2:40 PM on October 26, 2018
posted by feste at 2:40 PM on October 26, 2018
I refer you to my previous askmefi, where we were able to get the cats to love each other again!
posted by Karaage at 4:49 PM on October 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Karaage at 4:49 PM on October 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Karaage - about how long did it take? I'm doing room-switching, towel-rubbing, feed-by-the-door, and the pheromone stuff. No progress after 3 days.
posted by tryniti at 8:23 PM on October 26, 2018
posted by tryniti at 8:23 PM on October 26, 2018
This thread is closed to new comments.
But also when this happened to my uncle, it turned out the returned cat was a doppelganger which is why the other cat refused to bond.
posted by jeather at 5:24 AM on October 26, 2018 [28 favorites]