What to do if your job is killing you but you can't find anything else?
October 25, 2018 2:19 PM Subscribe
I’m a Long-Haul Truck Driver. This job is destroying me mentally, emotionally, and physically.
I NEED to get out of this industry, but nothing I do seems to help. I don’t know what to do, and neither does any therapist, friend, counselor, coach, etc. that I have talked to.
About three years ago I graduated with honors with a degree in software development, thinking that this would help me transition into more of a 9-5 office job, preferably but not necessarily doing computer or I.T. work, and out of truck driving.
It didn’t.
No company will consider hiring me for ANY office work, much less for software development, without demonstrated experience working in an office.
I see advertisements for positions like ‘Administrative Assistant’, ‘Receptionist’, etc. on Indeed and other websites ALL THE TIME.
I KNOW I can do these jobs: answering phones, greeting customers, using Microsoft Office (I have worked with OLAP data cubes and built macros using VBA, I know Microsoft Office!), and I know a lot of the more specialized software that is used, such as SAP.
But since ALL I have ever done for work, except for a two-month, unpaid internship, is drive truck, no company, not even trucking companies, are willing to consider me for anything except driving truck.
Sometimes I wonder if this is due to stereotypes about ‘truckers’. Once my own boss was like, “WOAH! A trucker that’s EDUCATED?!” after talking to me about computers.
I can’t not work; I have a fiancée and a mother to support, and I also have student loans that I am required to make payments on.
However, the ONLY work that I can find to support myself and my family is killing me, and almost killed me once before.
How do I get out of this dilemma? How do I get a 9-5 job with a 40-hour work week that enables me to be home and still support myself? Right now, I feel like the best I can do for everyone is die in an accident so my fiancée gets my life insurance.
I NEED to get out of this industry, but nothing I do seems to help. I don’t know what to do, and neither does any therapist, friend, counselor, coach, etc. that I have talked to.
About three years ago I graduated with honors with a degree in software development, thinking that this would help me transition into more of a 9-5 office job, preferably but not necessarily doing computer or I.T. work, and out of truck driving.
It didn’t.
No company will consider hiring me for ANY office work, much less for software development, without demonstrated experience working in an office.
I see advertisements for positions like ‘Administrative Assistant’, ‘Receptionist’, etc. on Indeed and other websites ALL THE TIME.
I KNOW I can do these jobs: answering phones, greeting customers, using Microsoft Office (I have worked with OLAP data cubes and built macros using VBA, I know Microsoft Office!), and I know a lot of the more specialized software that is used, such as SAP.
But since ALL I have ever done for work, except for a two-month, unpaid internship, is drive truck, no company, not even trucking companies, are willing to consider me for anything except driving truck.
Sometimes I wonder if this is due to stereotypes about ‘truckers’. Once my own boss was like, “WOAH! A trucker that’s EDUCATED?!” after talking to me about computers.
I can’t not work; I have a fiancée and a mother to support, and I also have student loans that I am required to make payments on.
However, the ONLY work that I can find to support myself and my family is killing me, and almost killed me once before.
How do I get out of this dilemma? How do I get a 9-5 job with a 40-hour work week that enables me to be home and still support myself? Right now, I feel like the best I can do for everyone is die in an accident so my fiancée gets my life insurance.
Agree with temping. It is how my partner landed his first job as an administrative assistant and that led to other opportunities.
posted by goggie at 2:34 PM on October 25, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by goggie at 2:34 PM on October 25, 2018 [6 favorites]
So sorry you're having such bad luck! Have you considered doing some temp office jobs, which would give you some experience and which also sometimes lead to permanent positions? Another benefit of temp work is you can be specific about what you are willing to do and the temp agency may be willing to send you to jobs you seem over-qualified for - while the specific companies you have sent resumes to might see your software degree and think you will have no interest in administrative work.
In the meantime, keep sending your resume to entry level type office jobs because it only takes one right person to give you a chance. On your resume, can you make some of your coursework more prominent, list all the software you are familiar with, and maybe even some projects you completed?
Another option might be to answer ads for warehouse, shipping and receiving and/or local delivery type driving?
posted by Glinn at 2:35 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
In the meantime, keep sending your resume to entry level type office jobs because it only takes one right person to give you a chance. On your resume, can you make some of your coursework more prominent, list all the software you are familiar with, and maybe even some projects you completed?
Another option might be to answer ads for warehouse, shipping and receiving and/or local delivery type driving?
posted by Glinn at 2:35 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
Your resume doesn’t have to list every job you have had. I think you are correct that the stigma/stereotypes about trucking are immediately getting your resume binned. Can you leave off trucking and just have your software and other jobs listed? Or modify the way you describe the trucking job to focus more on the office-type aspects (paperwork, compliance, billing, scheduling) and less on the driving part? If your resume is sparse, can you reduce your workload and pick up part-time/temp/volunteer work that is more in alignment with what you want? You may also find job fairs a better “in” as the employer can see you are not the stereotypical trucker.
posted by saucysault at 2:47 PM on October 25, 2018 [19 favorites]
posted by saucysault at 2:47 PM on October 25, 2018 [19 favorites]
One area where you can set yourself apart and make your experience work for you is at the cover letter level. Are you just sending resumes out into the ether? Or are you accompanying them with a cover letter? I hire for administrative positions, and if I saw a cover letter that said, in the body of the letter, "My background gives me unusual skills that other programmers straight out of school don't have. For the past X years I've been working as a trucker - a job that gave me flexibility and taught me about time management, prioritization, and high-stakes customer service. The work suited me well for a few years, but my life has changed and I am ready to pursue a career path more closely aligned with my educational background." - I would definitely give you a strong consideration if you met the requirements of the job. So many folks trying to get entry-level jobs in admin or IT are one-dimensional and they're all replaceable with anyone else. But someone who stands out with their experience, story, or motivation goes to the top of the pile.
P.S. Do not feel like the best you can do for your fiancee is kill yourself. Call 1-800-273-8255 to talk to someone about your mental health right away. If you hate talking on the phone and prefer to text, text CONNECT to 741741. They are judgement-free and kind and will listen.
posted by juniperesque at 2:47 PM on October 25, 2018 [69 favorites]
P.S. Do not feel like the best you can do for your fiancee is kill yourself. Call 1-800-273-8255 to talk to someone about your mental health right away. If you hate talking on the phone and prefer to text, text CONNECT to 741741. They are judgement-free and kind and will listen.
posted by juniperesque at 2:47 PM on October 25, 2018 [69 favorites]
Where do you live? It might be worth looking for a remote position, if the job market for software engineers is thin on the ground in your area. Have you looked into any career resources the school you graduated from might have available? Are there any professors you connected with during your education that might be able to set you up with something?
posted by jordemort at 2:49 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by jordemort at 2:49 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
Look at public jobs, government type positions in rural areas are often hard to fill. Look at the DMV or whatever agency regulates trucking in your area. Or with construction companies. You might be perfect for a job like that that needs some knowledge of over the road regs and also a degree and computer skills.
Also tempting and volunteering are the best way to bump up your resume. It's election season, volunteer for your union
or local party and make yourself useful doing computer stuff and organizing. People will notice.
posted by fshgrl at 2:56 PM on October 25, 2018 [6 favorites]
Also tempting and volunteering are the best way to bump up your resume. It's election season, volunteer for your union
or local party and make yourself useful doing computer stuff and organizing. People will notice.
posted by fshgrl at 2:56 PM on October 25, 2018 [6 favorites]
If you are based in a town with a large university, do look into getting into their temp pool. Many universities have an in-house temp system and temping at a university can be a good foot in the door to other opportunities.
Other things to consider are non-profits many non-profits need experience IT people and programmers. And depending on the the non-profit, they may be more willing to go with a non-traditional hire. Idealist is one major job board that focuses on non-profits.
Also seconding looking for remote work. Virtual Vocations is a job board that primarily list remote work.
posted by brookeb at 2:59 PM on October 25, 2018 [6 favorites]
Other things to consider are non-profits many non-profits need experience IT people and programmers. And depending on the the non-profit, they may be more willing to go with a non-traditional hire. Idealist is one major job board that focuses on non-profits.
Also seconding looking for remote work. Virtual Vocations is a job board that primarily list remote work.
posted by brookeb at 2:59 PM on October 25, 2018 [6 favorites]
Nthing temping as a way to get into the field. In fact, most permanent jobs I've had started out as temp positions (though there are plenty of places that will never hire on a temp worker permanently). At the very least it will build your resume to show a demonstrated, recent experience closer to your desired field. Temp agencies will often provide testing of various skills to show prospective employers that yes, you are an expert at such and such software, etc. At the agency is a point of contact for you to say, "these are the types of jobs I'm looking for. Do NOT put me in for any trucking positions."
posted by acidnova at 3:00 PM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by acidnova at 3:00 PM on October 25, 2018 [2 favorites]
I am sorry, this is really hard. Being typecast into your job is very common and lots of people struggle with convincing an employer to let them get that first experience.
But take heart! I have a friend who is a college dean who used to drive truck. I also have a friend who is a PhD-holding research scientist who used to drive truck.
Take a look at your resume and your cover letters. Be sure that you are convincing potential employers that you really, truly are making the transition from driving to office work. Especially if they can't offer you an equivalent salary, they may think they will lose you quickly due to money. If you don't have any office experience, get some online certificates that demonstrate you can use relevant office programs like those in the Microsoft Suite. Put these under "Professional Development."
posted by Knowyournuts at 3:02 PM on October 25, 2018
But take heart! I have a friend who is a college dean who used to drive truck. I also have a friend who is a PhD-holding research scientist who used to drive truck.
Take a look at your resume and your cover letters. Be sure that you are convincing potential employers that you really, truly are making the transition from driving to office work. Especially if they can't offer you an equivalent salary, they may think they will lose you quickly due to money. If you don't have any office experience, get some online certificates that demonstrate you can use relevant office programs like those in the Microsoft Suite. Put these under "Professional Development."
posted by Knowyournuts at 3:02 PM on October 25, 2018
Also, you only graduated 3 years ago. Is there someone at your institution you can reach out to for advice? Former classmates? You should definitely work on building your network as they may be able to open doors for you that you didn't even know were there.
posted by acidnova at 3:02 PM on October 25, 2018 [8 favorites]
posted by acidnova at 3:02 PM on October 25, 2018 [8 favorites]
Sometimes I wonder if this is due to stereotypes about ‘truckers’.
Do you have a LinkedIn page? It gives you the opportunity to display a photo (i.e. dress for the job you want) as well as listing education and professional development. Invite employers to look at your page by including a link in your cover letter.
posted by Knowyournuts at 3:05 PM on October 25, 2018 [7 favorites]
Do you have a LinkedIn page? It gives you the opportunity to display a photo (i.e. dress for the job you want) as well as listing education and professional development. Invite employers to look at your page by including a link in your cover letter.
posted by Knowyournuts at 3:05 PM on October 25, 2018 [7 favorites]
Also, don't feel shy about asking folks to help edit and proofread your application materials to be sure they stand out. I will, for one, and I'm sure other folks will too. (Other folks: chime in or backchannel the OP?)
posted by tapir-whorf at 3:16 PM on October 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by tapir-whorf at 3:16 PM on October 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
Yes to everything above but work on the image, once you've a toe in, be a chameleon, look and *sound* like everyone in that environment. Not the time to have a personal image. Blend in.
Can you work your schedule to get to meetups? After work timeframe, depends on the city but there are lots of meetings of tech people to learn about current technologies, socialize and network. meetup.com and search for software and just anything in the range. One discussion in tech is how self driving trucks will be displacing all the operators in the near future, so there should be a general awareness. And at meetups don't wear a suit, a pullover. Listen and mimic as there is a lingo. Be familiar with ycombinator current google and facebook controversies.
You're not the only one, there are huge biases all mixed in (cough ageism) but it is possible.
posted by sammyo at 3:19 PM on October 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
Can you work your schedule to get to meetups? After work timeframe, depends on the city but there are lots of meetings of tech people to learn about current technologies, socialize and network. meetup.com and search for software and just anything in the range. One discussion in tech is how self driving trucks will be displacing all the operators in the near future, so there should be a general awareness. And at meetups don't wear a suit, a pullover. Listen and mimic as there is a lingo. Be familiar with ycombinator current google and facebook controversies.
You're not the only one, there are huge biases all mixed in (cough ageism) but it is possible.
posted by sammyo at 3:19 PM on October 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
What if you communicated to prospective employers that you decided to drive a truck because it afforded you the opportunity for steady work while giving you a chance to explore the country? Then, you could perhaps emphasize how this work enabled you to develop the virtues of self-management and the ability to interact with a variety of customers in a variety of locations. Then, as I see it, you have covered the driving and you can focus the potential employer on your educational accomplishments.
I realize that I am assuming you are in an interview room with what I just wrote, but I am wondering if your cover letter could reflect some of these things?
I hope it works out for you. Hang in there.
posted by 4ster at 3:19 PM on October 25, 2018 [4 favorites]
I realize that I am assuming you are in an interview room with what I just wrote, but I am wondering if your cover letter could reflect some of these things?
I hope it works out for you. Hang in there.
posted by 4ster at 3:19 PM on October 25, 2018 [4 favorites]
2nding contacting your alma mater's career services department. They often help graduates just as frequently as they help current students and will likely have extensive contacts and suggestions for you.
They want you to succeed so you can donate money back to the school after all...
posted by matrixclown at 3:20 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
They want you to succeed so you can donate money back to the school after all...
posted by matrixclown at 3:20 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
Do you know someone who has any connections to the type of work you're looking for? Perhaps if you could sit down for coffee with someone who's familiar with the hiring process, and pick their brain on how to increase your salability.
What I'm suggesting is not that different from the informational interview from What Color Is Your Parachute? In an informational interview, you request (and have) a meeting with someone in your target industry to get more information about their company, the industry, etc. It is not a job interview, and it is a massive faux pas to ask for a job in the informational interview, but sometimes in addition to gaining information it can create a connection which can lead to a job.
posted by bunderful at 3:24 PM on October 25, 2018
What I'm suggesting is not that different from the informational interview from What Color Is Your Parachute? In an informational interview, you request (and have) a meeting with someone in your target industry to get more information about their company, the industry, etc. It is not a job interview, and it is a massive faux pas to ask for a job in the informational interview, but sometimes in addition to gaining information it can create a connection which can lead to a job.
posted by bunderful at 3:24 PM on October 25, 2018
First off, in big friendly nonthreatening block letters: Echoing @juniperesque -
Call 1-800-273-8255 to talk to someone about your mental health right away. If you hate talking on the phone and prefer to text, text CONNECT to 741741.
As many others have said: sign up with a temp agency. Talk with them about your background and what your goals are. They get money whenever they get you a job, so they'll handle selling you to hiring managers, polishing your presentation, managing your skills. Once they send you on some shorter jobs and have feedback that you've kicked it out of the park, they'll send you on longer jobs.
Stay with one agency, if at all possible. That way, on your resume, you just list "Admnistrative" work with "AgencyName" from the first day you start working with them, to the last. That looks more attractive to potential employers than a series of smaller, shorter jobs.
Assuming your area has one, contact your state's Unemployment Benefits company for help getting jobs / getting your resume put together / getting yourself a LinkedIn profile. Again, echoing what others have said: contact the school that you graduated from, make use of their career-placement service.
You know how to use basic computer tools needed for nearly any office job. You know how to learn. (That's a BIG one!) You have experience managing your time and meeting deadlines. You just need someone to take the chance that, yes, you can do white-collar work. Temp agencies will do the networking and "sell" you to recruiters, get you jobs, get you a track record established, keep you earning money and help you transition away.
This isn't easy. You are not worthless, you are not some kind of failure. Employers can be REMARKABLY shortsighted sometimes. And yes, prejudice about your trucking background can be a factor. Just tell people that you were in shipping and logistics - because, yep, that's what you did. (It's all about using words that don't trigger peoples' dumb-ass biases.)
posted by Tailkinker to-Ennien at 3:39 PM on October 25, 2018 [5 favorites]
Call 1-800-273-8255 to talk to someone about your mental health right away. If you hate talking on the phone and prefer to text, text CONNECT to 741741.
As many others have said: sign up with a temp agency. Talk with them about your background and what your goals are. They get money whenever they get you a job, so they'll handle selling you to hiring managers, polishing your presentation, managing your skills. Once they send you on some shorter jobs and have feedback that you've kicked it out of the park, they'll send you on longer jobs.
Stay with one agency, if at all possible. That way, on your resume, you just list "Admnistrative" work with "AgencyName" from the first day you start working with them, to the last. That looks more attractive to potential employers than a series of smaller, shorter jobs.
Assuming your area has one, contact your state's Unemployment Benefits company for help getting jobs / getting your resume put together / getting yourself a LinkedIn profile. Again, echoing what others have said: contact the school that you graduated from, make use of their career-placement service.
You know how to use basic computer tools needed for nearly any office job. You know how to learn. (That's a BIG one!) You have experience managing your time and meeting deadlines. You just need someone to take the chance that, yes, you can do white-collar work. Temp agencies will do the networking and "sell" you to recruiters, get you jobs, get you a track record established, keep you earning money and help you transition away.
This isn't easy. You are not worthless, you are not some kind of failure. Employers can be REMARKABLY shortsighted sometimes. And yes, prejudice about your trucking background can be a factor. Just tell people that you were in shipping and logistics - because, yep, that's what you did. (It's all about using words that don't trigger peoples' dumb-ass biases.)
posted by Tailkinker to-Ennien at 3:39 PM on October 25, 2018 [5 favorites]
My thoughts immediately go to warehouse management/logistics. I work on ERP software and have spent lots of time in warehouse offices/on the floor with people who are inventory specialists, shipping managers, purchasing clerks, people who are in software all day and doing reporting and analysis, managing product min/max and shipping timetables, and it feels like overwhelmingly companies hire people who seem like they can "handle" being in the warehouse, which can be much dirtier and more safety-oriented and tight-deadlined, maybe dealing with some "rougher" coworkers who are picking and packing, and that's a cachet of truck-driving you can play off along with what may legitimately be useful institutional knowledge and attention to regulation detail.
There are also (assuming you're in a big enough area) IT outsourcing/management companies that specialize in warehouse management equipment/software/support. Again, you trade on that truck driver cachet to show you're going to be comfortable in a shipping environment but play up your software experience and education (you might also look around the internet for advice for ex-military to parley their heavy-equipment expertise into corporate-world speak).
Since the holiday rush season is about to start, you might set up some searches to see what kind of large local warehouses might be doing job fairs - in part just to get a bead on WHO your large local shippers are - and if you're able swing by some and pick up the flyer/hear the spiel and just see if you can strike up a conversation with whoever's representing the company, present yourself something like "I'm a truck driver with a software (or just say "IT") degree, trying to get out of the truck and into a day job in a weird economy" and see how that floats. You may have to have that conversation a lot, but the more you have it the more likely you're going to say it to a creative thinker who's like hey, I can see exactly what this guy could do here for us.
posted by Lyn Never at 3:47 PM on October 25, 2018 [15 favorites]
There are also (assuming you're in a big enough area) IT outsourcing/management companies that specialize in warehouse management equipment/software/support. Again, you trade on that truck driver cachet to show you're going to be comfortable in a shipping environment but play up your software experience and education (you might also look around the internet for advice for ex-military to parley their heavy-equipment expertise into corporate-world speak).
Since the holiday rush season is about to start, you might set up some searches to see what kind of large local warehouses might be doing job fairs - in part just to get a bead on WHO your large local shippers are - and if you're able swing by some and pick up the flyer/hear the spiel and just see if you can strike up a conversation with whoever's representing the company, present yourself something like "I'm a truck driver with a software (or just say "IT") degree, trying to get out of the truck and into a day job in a weird economy" and see how that floats. You may have to have that conversation a lot, but the more you have it the more likely you're going to say it to a creative thinker who's like hey, I can see exactly what this guy could do here for us.
posted by Lyn Never at 3:47 PM on October 25, 2018 [15 favorites]
('veI hired/trained dispatchers.) You knowing your way around an ERP and the transportation industry puts you already ahead of 90 percent of the entry-level candidates, really.
posted by glibhamdreck at 4:27 PM on October 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by glibhamdreck at 4:27 PM on October 25, 2018 [3 favorites]
Yeah what about targeting logistics and trucking companies that need IT and office support? And then be aggressive about dropping in in person to chat with a manager so they can see who you really are?
posted by latkes at 5:58 PM on October 25, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by latkes at 5:58 PM on October 25, 2018 [4 favorites]
What Lyn Never said. You might be able to find out what logistics software some of the big employers around you use and do some tutorials to become familiar with it.
Does your old school have any career services? Does your local community college have a good placement network it'd be worth connecting with?
I also think that sometimes it can make sense to lie on a resume. It's not ideal, and has some risk, but you're in a desperate situation right now and it could be worth it. Make up a job from before you were driving and say you switched to driving for the cash, but want to get out now.
posted by metasarah at 6:23 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
Does your old school have any career services? Does your local community college have a good placement network it'd be worth connecting with?
I also think that sometimes it can make sense to lie on a resume. It's not ideal, and has some risk, but you're in a desperate situation right now and it could be worth it. Make up a job from before you were driving and say you switched to driving for the cash, but want to get out now.
posted by metasarah at 6:23 PM on October 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
I can’t not work; I have a fiancée and a mother to support, and I also have student loans that I am required to make payments on.
[...] However, the ONLY work that I can find to support myself and my family is killing me, and almost killed me once before.
[...] Right now, I feel like the best I can do for everyone is die in an accident so my fiancée gets my life insurance.
Listen. In normal life I'm one of the "you can't live life just for yourself, you have to take care of the people around you, that is what life is about" people. I know people who think taking care of others is optional and a luxury, and as a rule I disagree. The idea of "first put on your own seatbelt/life vest/oxygen mask" always viscerally rubs me the wrong way.
However, it's also true that when you find yourself drowning, taking care of others really is a luxury. The rule about taking care of yourself first isn't a frustrating expression of selfishness, but a realistic acknowledgement of the terrible fact that if you don't put on your own mask first, you're not going to be in a position to help anyone else at all.
Why is this all on you? Is your mom disabled and not working? (If so - does she access all the services that have benefits for her, are you her only relative, are her living costs beyond her means, is there anything she could do for extra income? Rent out a room? (Don't feel like "she shouldn't have to" do this stuff: when your son is going mad trying to support you, you do this stuff, because he's your son and you brought him into this world, you're responsible for him, and support is supposed to be mutual.))
Is the support mutual with your fiancee? Does she not have her own income that's enough for her to live on? If not, are there serious structural things that are standing in her way? This has better not be all on your shoulders.
Finally, if any of the people around you love or need or feel connected to you at all then no amount of life insurance is going to make up for you coming to harm. At all. There's no equation like that, it doesn't work that way. Suicide, as terrible as it is for the person who takes their own life, has a devastating effect on the people who are left behind, and too many people are not able to pick up the pieces afterwards. Please talk with whoever you need to to take this "option" completely off the table in your own mind, because you just existing, just being here with us, is the most real and true support you can offer, and the only thing that neither your mother nor your fiancee can ever find a way to do for themselves.
A lot of things are luxuries, but your own life is not one of them. I hope this time next year finds you feeling safer, more supported, and less stressed. Take care of yourself. Help the people around you to give you the support you need.
posted by trig at 11:58 PM on October 25, 2018 [12 favorites]
[...] However, the ONLY work that I can find to support myself and my family is killing me, and almost killed me once before.
[...] Right now, I feel like the best I can do for everyone is die in an accident so my fiancée gets my life insurance.
Listen. In normal life I'm one of the "you can't live life just for yourself, you have to take care of the people around you, that is what life is about" people. I know people who think taking care of others is optional and a luxury, and as a rule I disagree. The idea of "first put on your own seatbelt/life vest/oxygen mask" always viscerally rubs me the wrong way.
However, it's also true that when you find yourself drowning, taking care of others really is a luxury. The rule about taking care of yourself first isn't a frustrating expression of selfishness, but a realistic acknowledgement of the terrible fact that if you don't put on your own mask first, you're not going to be in a position to help anyone else at all.
Why is this all on you? Is your mom disabled and not working? (If so - does she access all the services that have benefits for her, are you her only relative, are her living costs beyond her means, is there anything she could do for extra income? Rent out a room? (Don't feel like "she shouldn't have to" do this stuff: when your son is going mad trying to support you, you do this stuff, because he's your son and you brought him into this world, you're responsible for him, and support is supposed to be mutual.))
Is the support mutual with your fiancee? Does she not have her own income that's enough for her to live on? If not, are there serious structural things that are standing in her way? This has better not be all on your shoulders.
Finally, if any of the people around you love or need or feel connected to you at all then no amount of life insurance is going to make up for you coming to harm. At all. There's no equation like that, it doesn't work that way. Suicide, as terrible as it is for the person who takes their own life, has a devastating effect on the people who are left behind, and too many people are not able to pick up the pieces afterwards. Please talk with whoever you need to to take this "option" completely off the table in your own mind, because you just existing, just being here with us, is the most real and true support you can offer, and the only thing that neither your mother nor your fiancee can ever find a way to do for themselves.
A lot of things are luxuries, but your own life is not one of them. I hope this time next year finds you feeling safer, more supported, and less stressed. Take care of yourself. Help the people around you to give you the support you need.
posted by trig at 11:58 PM on October 25, 2018 [12 favorites]
I would "activate your network" and let everyone you know that you're looking. Friends, your former teachers for your development degree, acquaintances, everyone. Sounds like you've asked some people for advice on how to find a job, but it doesn't sound like you've just let people know you're looking and you'd love to be kept in mind for anything. And the power of referrals is not just that you're a truck driver and people may discriminate - in general, people would rather hire someone that is referred to them and has been vetted in some kind of way. That said, depending on what you're applying for, maybe it would be best to leave the truck-driving off and fill in your resume some other way, if at all possible (i.e. you have any other duties for your job, or you've done any sort of freelancing or volunteering).
I would also consider seeing if you can do an internship or something along those lines to a) get some office experience and b) get a foot a door somewhere or at least c) get some more people in your network. You might need a stepping stone before you can make the transition. I had a friend who took an unpaid internship in a congressional office to work in politics even though she had been out of college for a couple years. She went onto have a very long, successful career working for senators.
>I can’t not work; I have a fiancée and a mother to support, and I also have student loans that I am required to make payments on.
>Right now, I feel like the best I can do for everyone is die in an accident so my fiancée gets my life insurance.
This is a separate issue that needs to be addressed. a) Everything shouldn't be on you, especially if you're this miserable. b) This is such extreme language and so ridiculous to say that it's obviously wrong, but without more details it's difficult for me to tell you precisely how it's wrong.
Just know that this isn't rational talk. I think you'll be better served if you are willing to believe everything is going to work out, and you also accept it's not all entirely up to you.
posted by AppleTurnover at 12:27 AM on October 26, 2018
I would also consider seeing if you can do an internship or something along those lines to a) get some office experience and b) get a foot a door somewhere or at least c) get some more people in your network. You might need a stepping stone before you can make the transition. I had a friend who took an unpaid internship in a congressional office to work in politics even though she had been out of college for a couple years. She went onto have a very long, successful career working for senators.
>I can’t not work; I have a fiancée and a mother to support, and I also have student loans that I am required to make payments on.
>Right now, I feel like the best I can do for everyone is die in an accident so my fiancée gets my life insurance.
This is a separate issue that needs to be addressed. a) Everything shouldn't be on you, especially if you're this miserable. b) This is such extreme language and so ridiculous to say that it's obviously wrong, but without more details it's difficult for me to tell you precisely how it's wrong.
Just know that this isn't rational talk. I think you'll be better served if you are willing to believe everything is going to work out, and you also accept it's not all entirely up to you.
posted by AppleTurnover at 12:27 AM on October 26, 2018
I don't know much about it, but I have heard good things about TripleByte as an organization that helps programmers without a traditional resume find work with tech companies.
posted by waffleriot at 10:49 AM on October 26, 2018
posted by waffleriot at 10:49 AM on October 26, 2018
Oh, hey - here's a way to leverage your shipping/logistics background without going back into long-haul trucking. Look at jobs with Amazon - their fulfillment centers, specifically. On the bad side...Amazon. Big ol' corporate monolith. On the other side: their minimum wage is $15 per hour, benefits for FTEs don't suck.
Also look at UPS and FedEx, especially with the holidays approaching. See if they have anything that appeals to you (in the warehouses, not necessarily as a package deliverer...but they do increase their fleets around the winter holidays), and network network network!
You can MeMail me and I'll give you feedback on your resume.
posted by Tailkinker to-Ennien at 12:28 PM on October 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
Also look at UPS and FedEx, especially with the holidays approaching. See if they have anything that appeals to you (in the warehouses, not necessarily as a package deliverer...but they do increase their fleets around the winter holidays), and network network network!
You can MeMail me and I'll give you feedback on your resume.
posted by Tailkinker to-Ennien at 12:28 PM on October 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
Seconding looking for work in warehouse management. I know a 'parts interpreter' who sources truck parts for truck drivers, and helps manage a large parts warehouse, for an international truck manufacturer. This is in Australia. His background is engineering, and he started out there fixing trucks, but was quickly promoted to the (better paid) parts management side when they realised he's keen, well-educated, good with tech, great at customer service, quick and clever. While he doesn't have an IT background, he uses IT to track orders, stock levels etc. (and would love it if a software developer updated their clunky, poorly designed systems!)
Best of luck to you.
posted by brushtailedphascogale at 3:46 PM on October 26, 2018
Best of luck to you.
posted by brushtailedphascogale at 3:46 PM on October 26, 2018
Apologies if someone upthread has already mentioned this, but you do have office experience.
The cab of your truck is your office.
Let me sketch it out for you: you sit in a chair all day and work, right? And you have a primary, technical job to do (drive the truck) which takes up most of your attention, but sometimes you also perform standard office tasks. You answer emails, make phone calls, send & receive text messages. You probably use a mix of a phone and a laptop and/or tablet to deal with that stuff. You track your work, you file reports, you do paperwork. You interact with your contacts both within and outside your company, in your professional capacity. You also interact with the public, in the sense that you share the road with the public and need to behave courteously and professionally at all times because you are driving a giant billboard that can also cause carnage and mayhem if you're not very careful.
Seriously, you can sell this at interviews. You just need to fill in the details. OK, it's a solo office but do you think people who work from home consider themselves to lack office experience? A programmer with a 100% remote job would not be dinged for "lack of office experience" in a job interview.
What this is really about is white-collar gatekeeping. You drive a truck; that is a blue-collar job. It's a field-based position. There is a perception (which to be honest has some truth at its core) that people who do field-based, blue-collar jobs—regardless of their actual intelligence—generally lack the skillset necessary to do office work. A lot of office work involves the kind of stuff I describe above: phone calls and emails, working on a computer, filing reports consistently and accurately, and being polite no matter what. You have those skills. If you can spin your job in a way that conveys that to interviewers, it'll help you a lot.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 4:37 PM on October 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
The cab of your truck is your office.
Let me sketch it out for you: you sit in a chair all day and work, right? And you have a primary, technical job to do (drive the truck) which takes up most of your attention, but sometimes you also perform standard office tasks. You answer emails, make phone calls, send & receive text messages. You probably use a mix of a phone and a laptop and/or tablet to deal with that stuff. You track your work, you file reports, you do paperwork. You interact with your contacts both within and outside your company, in your professional capacity. You also interact with the public, in the sense that you share the road with the public and need to behave courteously and professionally at all times because you are driving a giant billboard that can also cause carnage and mayhem if you're not very careful.
Seriously, you can sell this at interviews. You just need to fill in the details. OK, it's a solo office but do you think people who work from home consider themselves to lack office experience? A programmer with a 100% remote job would not be dinged for "lack of office experience" in a job interview.
What this is really about is white-collar gatekeeping. You drive a truck; that is a blue-collar job. It's a field-based position. There is a perception (which to be honest has some truth at its core) that people who do field-based, blue-collar jobs—regardless of their actual intelligence—generally lack the skillset necessary to do office work. A lot of office work involves the kind of stuff I describe above: phone calls and emails, working on a computer, filing reports consistently and accurately, and being polite no matter what. You have those skills. If you can spin your job in a way that conveys that to interviewers, it'll help you a lot.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 4:37 PM on October 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
Oh, and you could easily slant your resume to portray your current job in a way that is both honest and also relevant to the positions you're interested in.
If you want more advice, feel free to memail me. I'm really good at getting jobs; it's been a blessing all my life.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 4:59 PM on October 26, 2018 [2 favorites]
Whenever – Present: Long-Haul Truck DriverI think that—coupled with your educational accomplishments and a good cover letter (which should both pitch your relevant skills and highlight your positive-only reasons for wanting to change careers)—something like that would be intriguing to some employers.
- Facilitated time-sensitive delivery of multimillion-dollar products and solutions to a diverse clientele of national partners, including [list three of your most famous customers]
- Performed professionally and courteously in countless high-stakes interactions with coworkers, customers, vendors, government officials, and members of the public
- Operated a 35-ton tractor-trailer truck for over [some very rough but realistic estimate of your total career mileage] miles while publicly representing employer and maintaining a superb safety record
If you want more advice, feel free to memail me. I'm really good at getting jobs; it's been a blessing all my life.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 4:59 PM on October 26, 2018 [2 favorites]
Oh and hey, your experience with MS Office products is super relevant and you could work that into your resume too. Either cannibalize a bullet point, or else do a couple quick but reasonably legit online courses that offer some kind of advanced-sounding certification in line with your real-world skill level, and then put it in the education and certification section of your resume. Might even be worth a whole sentence of your cover letter, since it's important to emphasize that you can handle standard office stuff.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:06 PM on October 26, 2018
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:06 PM on October 26, 2018
No new advice to add, but I’m an ace proofreader and happy to look at application materials.
posted by lakeroon at 8:20 PM on October 26, 2018
posted by lakeroon at 8:20 PM on October 26, 2018
Nthing temping. Maybe go through a bunch of advanced Excel tutorials on Youtube and walk in as an Excel superstar, rather than a receptionist or general admin. A little preliminary work on your own could lead to a better job off the bat, which might help you get closer to your desired work more quickly.
posted by thegreatfleecircus at 8:31 PM on October 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by thegreatfleecircus at 8:31 PM on October 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
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Also, why do you have to support your fiancée? Does she know how you are feeling?
posted by tiger tiger at 2:32 PM on October 25, 2018 [40 favorites]