Last fearful flying question: window or aisle?
October 3, 2018 11:56 AM Subscribe
I guess this is mostly for other people who are petrified of air travel: do you find that
a) aisle seats give you some tiny feeling of sweet egress
b) windows give you some sense that you are still in the world and not a tin capsule forever or
c) other thing, upon which you have much to say
?
Flight's tomorrow. If I'm right about airplanes and you want to submit further input, you can maybe use a Ouija board or a qualified medium.
Flight's tomorrow. If I'm right about airplanes and you want to submit further input, you can maybe use a Ouija board or a qualified medium.
If you have the window, you can close the shade if it’s uncomfortable.
posted by OrangeVelour at 12:03 PM on October 3, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by OrangeVelour at 12:03 PM on October 3, 2018 [9 favorites]
Window, window, window. It makes me feel like the plane is a car, if that makes sense.
posted by Mouse Army at 12:04 PM on October 3, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by Mouse Army at 12:04 PM on October 3, 2018 [6 favorites]
I book travel for a person who experiences claustrophobia and anxiety while flying, and this person requires a window seat to be able to fly.
posted by a moisturizing whip at 12:05 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by a moisturizing whip at 12:05 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
Window! Especially for take-off and landing, being able to see the horizon helps.
posted by Weeping_angel at 12:05 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Weeping_angel at 12:05 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
Mrsturtle has extreme airplane anxiety, and on the very rare occasions that we have to fly she chooses window (with me in the middle) so that as few people as possible will see/know that she is barely holding her shit together.
posted by spinturtle at 12:07 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by spinturtle at 12:07 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
I prefer the aisle, where I can more easily pretend that I am in a ground-based transit option like a bus or train. Sitting by the window also makes me feel trapped, because I hate having to ask people to get up if I need to move to the aisle.
posted by belladonna at 12:08 PM on October 3, 2018 [17 favorites]
posted by belladonna at 12:08 PM on October 3, 2018 [17 favorites]
Window a bagillion times! I keep it open the whole time and hold my thumb against the horizon to make sure we're not losing altitude rapidly. This also means that I'm sitting next to one less person who can see me visibly freaking out the whole time. Also, the feeling that, if I ever really wanted to, I could open or close the window. Just having that one teensy bit of control helps a little.
posted by Krazor at 12:11 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Krazor at 12:11 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
My generally theory is that neither helps, but if I am going to go down, I would like to be able to see it at least. #TeamWindow
posted by AugustWest at 12:16 PM on October 3, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by AugustWest at 12:16 PM on October 3, 2018 [6 favorites]
If your concern is survivability, apparently middle seats are safest and aisle seats are less safe. And be sure to sit in the back of the plane.
posted by ejs at 12:18 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by ejs at 12:18 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
Aisle for me; window feels claustrophobic. I do like having window shade control but not enough to give up the aisle.
posted by Stacey at 12:23 PM on October 3, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by Stacey at 12:23 PM on October 3, 2018 [4 favorites]
It's the aisle for me. When my flying anxiety got really bad, I switched from window to aisle. My anxiety sometimes makes my brain scream "I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW." That's an obvious problem on a plane, but my anxiety is lessened by having two fewer seats/people in the way of my (nonexistent) escape route.
I almost always fly alone, though. If I were flying with someone I knew, and who knew my anxiety issues, I'd be happier sitting in the window seat and using them as an emotional buffer.
posted by mudpuppie at 12:25 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
I almost always fly alone, though. If I were flying with someone I knew, and who knew my anxiety issues, I'd be happier sitting in the window seat and using them as an emotional buffer.
posted by mudpuppie at 12:25 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
I used to be scared of flying and didn't like window seats as being able to see the engines / wings would make me worry about things going wrong with them. Middle seats are a bit too squished so aisle was least worst. Flying lots helped me overcome fears and now I prefer window for the view.
posted by JonB at 12:40 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by JonB at 12:40 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
I’m an uneasy flyer and HAVE to have the aisle. The window is so claustrophobic and I hate the idea of climbing over people to get out. Also I can better pretend that I’m not 30k feet in the air if I can’t see out.
posted by tatiana wishbone at 12:44 PM on October 3, 2018 [8 favorites]
posted by tatiana wishbone at 12:44 PM on October 3, 2018 [8 favorites]
Window, all the way. I much prefer it to aisle, because people; eeww.
posted by BostonTerrier at 12:50 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by BostonTerrier at 12:50 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
The thing nobody seems to mention is that on smaller planes in particular, the window seat is cramped. The body of the plane curves around and somehow intrudes into the passenger's shoulder space. Now, I'm not a tall person, and I find it cramped. I can't fathom how taller people manage it.
I don't have a fear of flying (although the one time I felt queasy it was on a very, very small plane in very, very turbulent weather, and I was staring out the window at the wing, which I suspect was not the best way to handle the situation), but because of the tightness of the window seat, I generally take the aisle, even though I'd love to have a view out of the window.
I'm not telling you to take the aisle, especially in view of what people with flying issues have said above, but I did want to put it out there for your consideration.
posted by sardonyx at 12:56 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
I don't have a fear of flying (although the one time I felt queasy it was on a very, very small plane in very, very turbulent weather, and I was staring out the window at the wing, which I suspect was not the best way to handle the situation), but because of the tightness of the window seat, I generally take the aisle, even though I'd love to have a view out of the window.
I'm not telling you to take the aisle, especially in view of what people with flying issues have said above, but I did want to put it out there for your consideration.
posted by sardonyx at 12:56 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
Window here as well. My brain knows that even with a aisle I really have no escape despite my very strong desire to do so, so for the next best thing i'd much rather retreat into a ball against the window (as much as possible, anyway).
posted by cgg at 12:57 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by cgg at 12:57 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
While I can't say what's best for you, for me it's always aisle, aisle, aisle. I'm not a fearful flyer, just somewhat claustrophobic and occasionally prone to motion sickness - an aisle seat just feels so much less cramped. It also gives me the advantage of being able to angle my legs somewhat out in the aisle, a big deal when you're tall, and to more easily get to the bathrooms. Window does give me a nice view of the skyline/mountains/etc on approach, so I've picked it on occasion, but only if it's a short flight (< 2 hrs) and a view I really want to see.
Only drawback of aisle is people waking you up to get out of their seat and occasionally getting whacked by passing drink carts, but for me that's a small price to pay.
posted by photo guy at 1:07 PM on October 3, 2018 [8 favorites]
Only drawback of aisle is people waking you up to get out of their seat and occasionally getting whacked by passing drink carts, but for me that's a small price to pay.
posted by photo guy at 1:07 PM on October 3, 2018 [8 favorites]
I'm a very nervous flyer and I hate the window seat even with the shade down. Feel much better in the aisle seat.
Just one more data point.
posted by M. at 1:11 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
Just one more data point.
posted by M. at 1:11 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
"The thing nobody seems to mention is that on smaller planes in particular, the window seat is cramped. The body of the plane curves around and somehow intrudes into the passenger's shoulder space."
This is exactly why I prefer the window seat as a nervous flyer ... somehow I feel more secure and protected if I am wedged up against the wall in that way. That feels "safer" to my lizard brain than it does being squeezed in-between people or being out on the aisle with open space on one side. I never ever get up and move around unless I absolutely have to, I just try to stay wedged into my safety area, so being on the inside seat doesn't matter.
It's not even about looking out, although I have grown to enjoy that just a bit as exposure dulls my fear.
posted by mccxxiii at 1:26 PM on October 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
This is exactly why I prefer the window seat as a nervous flyer ... somehow I feel more secure and protected if I am wedged up against the wall in that way. That feels "safer" to my lizard brain than it does being squeezed in-between people or being out on the aisle with open space on one side. I never ever get up and move around unless I absolutely have to, I just try to stay wedged into my safety area, so being on the inside seat doesn't matter.
It's not even about looking out, although I have grown to enjoy that just a bit as exposure dulls my fear.
posted by mccxxiii at 1:26 PM on October 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
Team Aisle. I need a clear view of my escape route (aka my route to being tackled and tased by the air marshal, but hey).
posted by HotToddy at 1:29 PM on October 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by HotToddy at 1:29 PM on October 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
Aisle. Because then I clearly won't be sucked out the window when it fails.
posted by hoyland at 1:33 PM on October 3, 2018
posted by hoyland at 1:33 PM on October 3, 2018
All I know is the further up I am the better. Wayyy in back and I can see all those people which I find freakier than being up front.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 1:41 PM on October 3, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 1:41 PM on October 3, 2018 [4 favorites]
Response by poster: I should have mentioned I am quite short and leg room is not an issue.
posted by Smearcase at 1:46 PM on October 3, 2018
posted by Smearcase at 1:46 PM on October 3, 2018
Aisle. I get claustrophobic. I usually fly alone - if I was with people then squished in between them would probably be quite comforting ( so long as we could swap)
posted by kitten magic at 1:50 PM on October 3, 2018
posted by kitten magic at 1:50 PM on October 3, 2018
Window. For many of the answers given above and also because it's much less likely I'll have to get up and take my seatbelt off in order to let someone else get to the bathroom. (I do not get up and use the bathroom on an airplane unless the flight is very long.)
posted by darchildre at 1:54 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by darchildre at 1:54 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
Another nervous flyer who votes window seat all the way. I've gotten to the point where I'm pretty okay on flights, but I basically won't fly without a window seat. On a very short flight, if given no other option, I will take an aisle, but I try everything I can to avoid it. (I've generally found people are very nice about getting you into your preferred seat if you just say that you're a nervous flyer who is much more comfortable sitting by the window or aisle.)
Reasons I prefer the window:
- One of the best things I did was train myself to sleep on flights. (I had some pharmaceutical assistance to help with this.) However, I really need to have the window to lean up against to sleep. I'm not one of those people who can sleep leaning back, even if I recline the seat, which I hate doing, because I feel bad for the people behind me. (I'm also a person who always sleeps on my side in beds, so I imagine if you're someone who sleeps on their back, falling asleep leaning back might be easier.)
- I like to have control over whether I have the window up or the window down. Also, something about being able to see out helps with my feeling like I have no control. (I know that makes no sense, but still.)
-I'm small (5'2, petite), so I like curling up into a little ball up against the window and getting as much distance from everyone as possible. Being on the aisle feels too exposed.
- I hate having people step over me to go to the bathroom. I basically never get up to use the bathroom on a flight unless it's an 8+ hour flight.
- It can be cool to look out the window when you aren't paralyzed with fear. Or to be able to shut the window and pretend you aren't thousands of feet up in the air thank you very much.
tl;dr: Window seat, absolutely, no question.
posted by litera scripta manet at 2:08 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
Reasons I prefer the window:
- One of the best things I did was train myself to sleep on flights. (I had some pharmaceutical assistance to help with this.) However, I really need to have the window to lean up against to sleep. I'm not one of those people who can sleep leaning back, even if I recline the seat, which I hate doing, because I feel bad for the people behind me. (I'm also a person who always sleeps on my side in beds, so I imagine if you're someone who sleeps on their back, falling asleep leaning back might be easier.)
- I like to have control over whether I have the window up or the window down. Also, something about being able to see out helps with my feeling like I have no control. (I know that makes no sense, but still.)
-I'm small (5'2, petite), so I like curling up into a little ball up against the window and getting as much distance from everyone as possible. Being on the aisle feels too exposed.
- I hate having people step over me to go to the bathroom. I basically never get up to use the bathroom on a flight unless it's an 8+ hour flight.
- It can be cool to look out the window when you aren't paralyzed with fear. Or to be able to shut the window and pretend you aren't thousands of feet up in the air thank you very much.
tl;dr: Window seat, absolutely, no question.
posted by litera scripta manet at 2:08 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
My wife is a very nervous flyer and strongly prefers the aisle, because looking out the window during takeoff freaks her out. So I think this really depends on what it is that bothers you about flying and how you deal with that.
I am not a nervous flyer, but I like window on short flights or if I'm with people I know; aisle on longer (3+ hours, say) flights by myself.
posted by breakin' the law at 2:12 PM on October 3, 2018
I am not a nervous flyer, but I like window on short flights or if I'm with people I know; aisle on longer (3+ hours, say) flights by myself.
posted by breakin' the law at 2:12 PM on October 3, 2018
Window seat for me too. Along with being a nervous flyer, I sometimes have to make use of the airsickness bags and the window seat makes it easier to "hide".
posted by misseva at 2:21 PM on October 3, 2018
posted by misseva at 2:21 PM on October 3, 2018
My anxiety is about being watched and judged by those around me, not specific to flying. I want to be as far back as possible to minimise people who might be watching me without my knowledge. People in front of me are really obvious if they are walking to the back, or sitting up and looking behind them, and therefore less scary.
Because I need to get to the bathroom every hour or two, and need to walk for circulation reasons, I go for the aisle. I hate needing the participation of someone else in my own ability to move, and feeling like they are judging me for the frequency.
When I was younger and my bodily functions more reasonably timed I went for the window and made myself a little nest, the better to create a feeling of isolation. On long flights I would pull the blanket over my head, even if I wasn't sleeping, so I could convince myself no one could see me.
posted by buildmyworld at 2:43 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
Because I need to get to the bathroom every hour or two, and need to walk for circulation reasons, I go for the aisle. I hate needing the participation of someone else in my own ability to move, and feeling like they are judging me for the frequency.
When I was younger and my bodily functions more reasonably timed I went for the window and made myself a little nest, the better to create a feeling of isolation. On long flights I would pull the blanket over my head, even if I wasn't sleeping, so I could convince myself no one could see me.
posted by buildmyworld at 2:43 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
Absolutely Team Aisle. So I can get up a million times and "go to the bathroom" aka pace as much as is possible in this tiny space.
posted by BlahLaLa at 3:10 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by BlahLaLa at 3:10 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
Window. I like being able to see out and reassure myself that we’re okay.
Also, you know when a plane banks/turns by lowering one wing and raising the other? Look in the direction you’re turning, even if you can’t see past the people in the row to the other window. So if you’re in the aisle seat on the far right and the plane is turning left by lowering the left wing, look left as though you were trying to/actually looking out the left window. My husband told me to do it and it really helps - something about not feeling the banking motion as much as if you looked right or straight ahead.
Hang in there! You’re going to do great!
posted by bananacabana at 3:11 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
Also, you know when a plane banks/turns by lowering one wing and raising the other? Look in the direction you’re turning, even if you can’t see past the people in the row to the other window. So if you’re in the aisle seat on the far right and the plane is turning left by lowering the left wing, look left as though you were trying to/actually looking out the left window. My husband told me to do it and it really helps - something about not feeling the banking motion as much as if you looked right or straight ahead.
Hang in there! You’re going to do great!
posted by bananacabana at 3:11 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
Mrs molerats seems to like window. She builds a little nest with a hoodie and eye mask and scarf (seriously, I've never seen anyone else with such a fortress of solitude; I joke that I am a flight bachelor) and then just zones out completely. Doesn't have to get up to let anyone pee.
posted by nakedmolerats at 3:27 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by nakedmolerats at 3:27 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
If I can swing it, I upgrade to First. Feels a lot less claustrophobic. Barring that, sometimes planes will have a two-seat row, which is prime if I'm traveling with a partner. After that, aisle seat in an exit row or front row with a wall in front of me.
posted by rachaelfaith at 3:38 PM on October 3, 2018
posted by rachaelfaith at 3:38 PM on October 3, 2018
For me, depends on length of flight, plane layout and who I'm flying with.
If it's a short-haul, and I'm flying with my partner (i.e., someone I don't feel uncomfortable about asking to move potentially multiple times per flight) then I'll take the window every time. There's something about having a physical boundary that defines the edges of my personal space that is really helpful; the natural light is also helpful.
On the other hand, a long-haul flight, especially if I'm on my own, I'll try to go for an aisle as it offers an escape route when feeling trapped, but also probably one on the edge of a middle-block to minimise people trying to get out past me.
Flying sucks, but it's worth spending a bit of time to figure out which configuration is going to minimise your personal discomforts. It's not ideal.
posted by parm at 3:42 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
If it's a short-haul, and I'm flying with my partner (i.e., someone I don't feel uncomfortable about asking to move potentially multiple times per flight) then I'll take the window every time. There's something about having a physical boundary that defines the edges of my personal space that is really helpful; the natural light is also helpful.
On the other hand, a long-haul flight, especially if I'm on my own, I'll try to go for an aisle as it offers an escape route when feeling trapped, but also probably one on the edge of a middle-block to minimise people trying to get out past me.
Flying sucks, but it's worth spending a bit of time to figure out which configuration is going to minimise your personal discomforts. It's not ideal.
posted by parm at 3:42 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
Window, so I can stare intently at the wing to make sure it stays attached to the plane.
posted by sarcasticah at 3:45 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by sarcasticah at 3:45 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
Team aisle. I will have to pee at some point, and if I'm on the aisle, I can pretend that I'm just on a really bump, really small couch. On bad days, seeing the ground from far away will set me off.
posted by joycehealy at 4:12 PM on October 3, 2018
posted by joycehealy at 4:12 PM on October 3, 2018
Aisle, so I can pretend I'm on a bus, and so I have autonomy about when I get up (which is also a bit of an anxiety thing for me). That said: when I flew over the Southwest for the first time after a trip to Texas, I stared out the window in amazement at the scenery the whole way and forgot to be nervous. So maybe "aisle unless there's something awesome to look at."
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:13 PM on October 3, 2018
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:13 PM on October 3, 2018
I, too, am quite short, but I fly JetBlue specifically for the leg room, because "leg room" translates to "more distance between my face and the seatback in front of me," and I am mildly claustrophobic. For me, having that perception of space I can easily get to without disturbing anyone means I am loyal to the aisle seat, even if I'm not really afraid of flying, and I love the views.
posted by Pandora Kouti at 4:41 PM on October 3, 2018
posted by Pandora Kouti at 4:41 PM on October 3, 2018
I have traditionally preferred the aisle because it offers the prospect of standing up, but now prefer window because it offers the best GPS reception, and with a working GPS receiver in hand I can at least understand where we are and why the plane is doing what it is doing, which has done more than anything else to reduce my dread of airplanes.
posted by enf at 4:54 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by enf at 4:54 PM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
Another vote for, it depends on how you're anxious and how you cope.
On shorter flights when I won't have to use the bathroom, I prefer the window because I mostly just hope to be unconscious for the whole flight so it passes faster.
On longer flights when I'm traveling alone, I want the aisle so I don't feel trapped by strangers and, when my problems manifest in an upset stomach, I can get to a bathroom faster.
posted by TwoStride at 7:30 PM on October 3, 2018
On shorter flights when I won't have to use the bathroom, I prefer the window because I mostly just hope to be unconscious for the whole flight so it passes faster.
On longer flights when I'm traveling alone, I want the aisle so I don't feel trapped by strangers and, when my problems manifest in an upset stomach, I can get to a bathroom faster.
posted by TwoStride at 7:30 PM on October 3, 2018
As a person over 5'5", I get so cramped by the window that the physical discomfort makes me anxious even though I love flying. I tried to get the aisle whenever possible.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:56 PM on October 3, 2018
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:56 PM on October 3, 2018
Aisle. Easier to go to restroom or stretch my legs without disturbing anyone and I like being able to see up and down the aisle, which is soothing for some reason.
posted by pointystick at 8:42 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by pointystick at 8:42 PM on October 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
My reasons for hating flying are possibly not the same as yours. I am not scared of being in a plane and am not worried about accidents. I actually like turbulence because it makes it feel like we are actually travelling, like the bumps in a road or something. I mention this in case it is a metaphor that helps you.
But I am taller and wider and all-round larger than your average bear (metaphorically speaking) and the aisle at least gives me the chance to seep out in a direction that is not straight into a stranger, since I only ever fly alone. As others have said, ease of escape (for walking up and down the aisle, going to the toilet, etc) is also important. More important than getting bashed by the food/drinks trolley as it goes by, and often the flight attendants and other passengers too. Can I tell you exactly how much I thoroughly loathe and detest flying?
However it does depend on the duration of the flight, airline and which class. Because I live in South Woop Woop (otherwise known as the Arse End of Nowhere, otherwise known as Australia), getting anywhere outside of the country involves a Long Flight. You think flying to Europe from the US is bad? Hah! So the last time I flew, I opted for Qantas premium economy, and discovered that the window seat actually has a little ledgy thing under the window with a cupboard in it, which is pretty handy and might almost make up for being trapped in by a stranger.
Sorry, I think I got carried away there. But if it is any consolation at all, I have found that the anticipation of the flight is always much worse than the actual flying.
posted by Athanassiel at 10:15 PM on October 3, 2018
But I am taller and wider and all-round larger than your average bear (metaphorically speaking) and the aisle at least gives me the chance to seep out in a direction that is not straight into a stranger, since I only ever fly alone. As others have said, ease of escape (for walking up and down the aisle, going to the toilet, etc) is also important. More important than getting bashed by the food/drinks trolley as it goes by, and often the flight attendants and other passengers too. Can I tell you exactly how much I thoroughly loathe and detest flying?
However it does depend on the duration of the flight, airline and which class. Because I live in South Woop Woop (otherwise known as the Arse End of Nowhere, otherwise known as Australia), getting anywhere outside of the country involves a Long Flight. You think flying to Europe from the US is bad? Hah! So the last time I flew, I opted for Qantas premium economy, and discovered that the window seat actually has a little ledgy thing under the window with a cupboard in it, which is pretty handy and might almost make up for being trapped in by a stranger.
Sorry, I think I got carried away there. But if it is any consolation at all, I have found that the anticipation of the flight is always much worse than the actual flying.
posted by Athanassiel at 10:15 PM on October 3, 2018
Aisle. Bathroom.
posted by BAKERSFIELD! at 11:39 PM on October 3, 2018
posted by BAKERSFIELD! at 11:39 PM on October 3, 2018
Window, because being able to look outside when we’re taking off or landing helps a lot. I seriously don’t understand how people can bear not to look outside when we’re landing.
posted by lunasol at 12:05 AM on October 4, 2018
posted by lunasol at 12:05 AM on October 4, 2018
Response by poster: Ok so
1) I survived and
2) team window.
posted by Smearcase at 10:26 AM on October 4, 2018 [14 favorites]
1) I survived and
2) team window.
posted by Smearcase at 10:26 AM on October 4, 2018 [14 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
The real solution is long term. Education and exposure. I realize that's not going to help you too much before tomorrow.
If I were you, I'd sit in a window and just try to pretend you're looking down at the world's most awesome model train layout.
posted by bondcliff at 12:00 PM on October 3, 2018 [4 favorites]