No knees after 40?

October 1, 2018 12:50 PM

I'm in my early 50s and finding it hard to navigate current skirt and dress lengths, since what's mostly on offer is above the knee (that and midi length, which is straight out). On the one hand, the voices in my head say "mutton dressed as lamb" and "no knees after 40," but on the other hand, I'm quite fit and, age aside, shorter skirts are what looks best on me proportionally, because I'm short. On the third hand, my legs are in fact middle-aged, especially my knees. What are the rules anymore? Please don't say there aren't any. I need some actual guidance.
posted by HotToddy to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (35 answers total)

My actual advice would be "Wear whatever you want".
Since that doesn't appeal to you, perhaps you can say what region of the world you live in? That has a large impact on cultural norms.
posted by Julnyes at 12:53 PM on October 1, 2018 [4 favorites]

Actual guidance: wear tights if you care about your knees, although nobody besides you gives a flying fuck about your knees. (I'm 46 and have never, not once, considered how my knees or anyone else's knees are aging.)

So: wear tights with any length of skirt or dress you think flatters you and looks nice.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:56 PM on October 1, 2018 [31 favorites]

Where are you located? I have literally never heard either of those expressions you quote, and - while I'm not talking micro-minis here - I see many women over 40 every day wearing just-above-knee-length skirts. Perhaps this is different by part of the world?
posted by brainmouse at 12:57 PM on October 1, 2018 [4 favorites]

I work in a formal office in DC. I've never heard "no knees after 40," and that doesn't seem to be the trend around here. However, skirts cut right above the knee are the norm for ladies of a certain age. I am wearing one that length right now, actually. I would steer clear of those little fit and flare short skirts, but a pencil or a-line cut just above the knee isn't going to raise any eyebrows, I wouldn't think.
posted by backwards compatible at 12:58 PM on October 1, 2018 [14 favorites]

I am 46, not fit (what does this have to do with what you wear?), have a fabulous wardrobe, and show my knees all the time. I have also never heard either of those rules and hearing them now, am enraged at learning of a new branch of the patriarchy.
posted by tangosnail at 1:03 PM on October 1, 2018 [38 favorites]

You can wear whatever you like. But that's not all that helpful. So assuming you mean, "will I standout too much?" I'd say that depends on your surroundings.

If it's helpful, I live in the UK. For all/most of the year black opaque tights are ubiquitous workwear. A slim to average woman in her early fifties wearing an above knee length skirt (but not a mid-thigh miniskirrt) with black opaque tights would not stand out at all. A larger than average woman doing the same would be slightly less commonplace (more likely to wear a longer skirt or trousers) but would look entirely unremarkable.

Whether you will like the way it looks, and whether it will be received by others in a way that you like or tolerate, is probably only really established by trial and error. If the shorter length looks better on you then you will probably like the way it looks. Other people don't really look at knees specifically in any case. I think try it - you'll probably look fabulous.
posted by plonkee at 1:05 PM on October 1, 2018 [4 favorites]

Knees? Knees and shoulders are the last things to go. Of course you can wear skirts cut to just above the knee.
posted by praemunire at 1:06 PM on October 1, 2018 [1 favorite]

The rule is: Humans Of All Ages May Show Their Knees If They Want. No, seriously, that's the rule.

The corollary is: Wear Tights If You're Cold Or Want To Cover Up.
posted by BlahLaLa at 1:13 PM on October 1, 2018 [37 favorites]

Here in my Philadelphia business-casual/casual office, it's tights for winter, but bare legs under skirts the rest of the year. Hiding knees, be it with unconventional-length skirts or tights in warm weather or pantyhose* makes us stick out and look older than our middle aged knees do on their own.

*I'm the only person in the world who misses pantyhose. They made my legs look better and made me feel like an adult.
posted by kimberussell at 1:18 PM on October 1, 2018 [11 favorites]

Sister short lady says: Hey, at our height, we should wear what is proportional to our frames, and if above-the-knee works for your proportions, then wear it in good spirits and to hell with over-40 listicles.
posted by MonkeyToes at 1:18 PM on October 1, 2018 [9 favorites]

My mother, who will be 80 in December, wears her skirts just above the knee. I am sure there is nothing inappropriate about that skirt length at any age.
posted by orange swan at 1:25 PM on October 1, 2018 [6 favorites]

Theresa May is not at all known for her fashion daring and her standard skirt seems to be a pencil skirt at or just above the knee. If she's ok with it, it seems uncontroversial.
posted by the agents of KAOS at 1:28 PM on October 1, 2018 [8 favorites]

As others said above, the length is perfectly fine at just above the knee at any age and you can choose clothing based more on weather or other factors rather than based on age. As a 37-year-old, I can't imagine that in 3 years' time I won't be allowed to show my knees in public!
posted by acidnova at 1:29 PM on October 1, 2018 [1 favorite]

*I'm the only person in the world who misses pantyhose. They made my legs look better and made me feel like an adult.

They're still around! You can wear them if you want! I don't wear a lot of skirts/dresses, but when I do I wear pantyhose for just the reasons you state.
posted by Preserver at 1:34 PM on October 1, 2018 [4 favorites]

"shorter skirts are what looks best on me proportionally, because I'm short."

This is your answer. Wearing longer skirts to cover your knees is going to make you look dowdy, which will make you look older. Knees are fine. (I've NEVER heard "no knees over 40.") I just saw a picture of PRINCESS ANNE, of all people, with her skirt right at the knee.

You are fine.
posted by Countess Sandwich at 1:40 PM on October 1, 2018 [6 favorites]

Yes, I think pantyhose would be perfect and opaque tights for winter (keeps those knees warm, too). And choose charcoal or black hose. Suntan shade for summer if you're wearing light-colored skirts and shoes. And make sure the skirt is just above the knee or you'll get that horizontal line across a thicker part of your legs. Or just let your knees wave in the breeze, so to speak; there's no actual rule about this so do as you please.
posted by MovableBookLady at 1:41 PM on October 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

My very conservative 60yr+ aunts in Arkansas wear skirts above the knees. I think this is a very old rule that you'll find few hold on to anymore. Dress in a way that makes you comfortable and confident.
posted by I'm Not Even Supposed To Be Here Today! at 1:53 PM on October 1, 2018 [5 favorites]

I am a former actual women’s magazine website editor for a magazine focused on women 40-60. You can wear* skirts above the knee, and if you are worried about your skin, tights or hose are fine. Tights are more fashion-forward but may depend on how conservative your workplace is. From less to more conservative: contrasting tights, coordinating tights, blacks skits+black tights+black shoes, pantyhose. Do keep your shoe colour in mind i.e. it’s best the shoes are the same colour or darker with tights. A great look is with boots too, again, in a more fashion-forward environment. I would stay away from anything with a pattern or sparkly at work.

My former editor in chief also was a fan of mini skirts on anyone.

* you can wear whatever you want, too. Officially. But I get what you mean.
posted by warriorqueen at 2:24 PM on October 1, 2018 [11 favorites]

I am 33, grew up in the South(ish), work in a conservative field, and am short. I've never heard of this rule. The only skirt length rule I've heard of is that the hem should be at least as long as your finger tips with hands held by your side. (That's from middle school, when the sight of bare female flesh was believed to drive preteen boys into an uncontrolled frenzy. Do you have a Mrs Robinson/The Graduate situation going on, perhaps?)
posted by basalganglia at 2:28 PM on October 1, 2018 [1 favorite]

I'm a bit over 50 and they will have to pry my above the knee skirts out of my cold dead hands.
Wearing your skirts with nice tights and good boots you can really stride in is your world domination outfit. Don't relinquish that.
posted by nantucket at 2:43 PM on October 1, 2018 [7 favorites]

The only woman I know who is actively dressing to avoid displaying her knees is working in an overseas embassy in a conservative country. But she would never think of it other wise. I'm over 50 and nearly always wear skirts above the knee and rarely wear tights.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 2:48 PM on October 1, 2018 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: All righty then! I am apparently extra susceptible to this patriarchal mindfuckery and the sudden onset of perimenopause is not helping. Thank you for the course correction!
posted by HotToddy at 2:59 PM on October 1, 2018 [29 favorites]

Adult women aren't mutton. Erase that shit from your brain.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 3:29 PM on October 1, 2018 [17 favorites]

Response by poster: Oh, about where I'm located: Rural PNW
posted by HotToddy at 4:11 PM on October 1, 2018

seconding pseudostrabismus. You aren't a piece of meat, you are a human being.
posted by augustimagination at 6:07 PM on October 1, 2018 [6 favorites]

Just to provide some perspective, the "rules" change with every generation and differ for every culture. Women don't say the word blouse, how shocking! Women musn't show their ankles! Only unfeminine (gasp) women would wear pantaloons! Married women don't let down their hair! Women over 40 never wear anything shorter than capris! (This last from my very appearance-concious mother.) However, my mother was tall and had the kind of figure that lent itself to clothing that would make shorter people look, well... short. Which leads me to my point: if just-above-the-knee- skirts make you happy and you are content with how they make you look, that is whose opinion matters here.
posted by Armed Only With Hubris at 6:21 PM on October 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

I think showing your knees looks fine. On the other hand, I tend to feel that a skirt that stops more than halfway up the thigh makes an adult women look infantilized, if she's not wearing dark tights underneath.

I personally prefer wearing my skirts below knee length, so that I don't have to peel the backs of my thighs off my seat when I go to stand up.
posted by chromium at 6:33 PM on October 1, 2018

I know plenty of women your age and older who wear short skirts and look great.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:11 PM on October 1, 2018

The only women i ever see wear below the knee skirts that are not floor or ankle length are devout catholics or even nuns themselves when not in habits.
posted by WeekendJen at 8:28 PM on October 1, 2018

My 92 year old grandma and 60 something mother have beautiful legs and definitely wear knee length with knees showing skirts. It's very pretty. No one will be looking at your knees. I don't even know what their knees look like.
posted by yueliang at 11:47 PM on October 1, 2018 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Just to clarify, I’m not talking about knee-length skirts with like half a knee showing, but rather skirts that end an inch or more above the knee.
posted by HotToddy at 10:12 AM on October 2, 2018

skirts that end an inch or more above the knee

...are absolutely fine.
posted by DarlingBri at 11:46 AM on October 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Ultimately, you need to go with what makes you most comfortable and if you really want your skirts to be longer, that's ok, too. But as we're all promising you, fashion advice like, "no knees after 40" is so out-dated that it seems none of us have even heard of it. Wear what you like and makes you feel good about yourself. An inch above the knee is a perfectly acceptable skirt-length no matter your age. I hope this thread has given you more confidence in wearing clothes you like without hearing those negative thoughts weighing you down. Think about how much you like the color/pattern, how flattering the shape is on you, how well those cute shoes go with it, which of your favorite tops would be perfect with it, and do a little dance and feel happy. Make that your clothes-shopping routine.
posted by acidnova at 12:22 PM on October 2, 2018 [3 favorites]

Are you worried about showing off parts of your body or are you worried about what may be perceived as inappropriate trend chasing? My mother is older than you, and for her it's a little of both. You don't want to show off your legs? That's fine. You don't have to dress like you're trapped in the (18)70s either. Do you like the way a pencil skirt looks on you? Keep wearing it! Finding clothes that are both modern and flattering is sometimes a struggle; I speak from experience of being younger than you but of size. A site like eshakti.com can show you the same dress (for example) with different lengths, necklines and sleeves so you can at least see options; stores tend to only care about what's "on trend". It might help you to look for clothes based on your body type rather than focusing on your age.
posted by koucha at 10:58 AM on October 3, 2018

> Oh, about where I'm located: Rural PNW

Good lord, you're in the land of hooded sweatshirts with Alaskan fishing company logos. Nobody cares about your knees.
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:33 AM on October 3, 2018 [1 favorite]