self-blocking on Messenger
August 1, 2018 11:04 PM   Subscribe

I have a friend who REALLY doesn't want me to use FB Messenger to contact him. The best way for him to accomplish this goal is for him to block me on Messenger but not on FB. This would require him to install Messenger, which is his specific anti-FB bugaboo. How can I block myself from messaging him on FBM? I am close to telling him to just block me already, which he would accurately interpret as an angry and frustrated response.
posted by mwhybark to Computers & Internet (8 answers total)
Why don't you just .... not contact him on messenger? At this point, it sounds like a big enough thing that you're likely to remember that he's that one friend who doesn't want you to use messenger. Is there a reason this needs to escalate further?

If you need a visual reminder you could always change the color of his chat window to RED for STOP so that when you open it to message him you remember to text instead.
posted by stoneweaver at 11:11 PM on August 1, 2018 [79 favorites]

He should be able to block you using the online interface - there's a gear icon in the bottom right corner, if I remember correctly.
posted by sagc at 11:11 PM on August 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

I don't understand why the solution isn't simply for you to stop using messenger to contact him.... can you explain?
posted by pseudostrabismus at 11:41 PM on August 1, 2018 [27 favorites]

Besides the above solutions to just not contact him, you could try restricting access to his specific Messenger chat URL using an extension (when using the Messenger web interface). E.g., the URL of the person I talk to most on Messenger now auto-fills in the address bar when I start typing the first few letters--each chat has their own identifier.

Not sure how you'd do that in the mobile app. Maybe hide/delete the conversation so it shows up lower on the list of contacts and/or not at all.
posted by lesser weasel at 1:00 AM on August 2, 2018

I wonder, you could either block him, or ask him to not login to Messenger/change his avaliability so that he doesn't pop up on the contacts list.
posted by yueliang at 1:26 AM on August 2, 2018 [2 favorites]

I use fb a lot, but I hate the Messenger app because it's invasive, annoying, and tracks me too much. I request the desktop app if I really need a message, which is quite rare. I tell people who contact me by fb that email is my preferred mode of communication, but a lot of people still use fb. I just installed the Messenger app temporarily for a project, and it asks if you want Messenger to be your Messaging app? I said No, but maybe you said Yes, and now have to way to message him except fb?
posted by theora55 at 9:24 AM on August 2, 2018

You can block him on messenger and he will disappear from your contacts. Also he can block via (there's a gear next to each user) but that isn't really necessary.
posted by O9scar at 11:44 AM on August 2, 2018

ooh O9scar that is the solution. He and his partner, dear and important pals, use FB all the time so often I'll see that they are oh, doing something with a friend, and drop them a line from within FB via the FBM app which they never see, or only see much later. This makes us all crazy.

Most recently we were trying to plan a local area get together and the planning, which was partially on FBM and partially on IM, was redirected to email at my friend's request. I had an event that preceded the planned event by several hours and I contributed my last info to the email thread about twelve hours prior to my next event, noting I was signed off the thread, and did not nor did I intend to check email again for several days. While at my preceding event I received a text from a planning participant indicating that plans were in flux and what did I think about x y and z. I then checked the email thread and there were twenty or so messages after my sign-off attempting to develop a consensus around a new set of plans.

So I emailed everyone and said, hey, we're out, sorry about that and sorry for the confusion, and a giant round of hurt feelings ensued.

Blocking my ability to contact said friend by FBM is the perfect solution.
posted by mwhybark at 8:54 PM on August 29, 2018

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