What Shall We Do with a Crooked President?
June 29, 2018 5:23 PM   Subscribe

Take away his ice cream and his Fox News! Take away his ice cream and his Fox News! Take away his ice cream and his Fox News! Er-lie in the morning. Hooray, up we’re rising! Hooray, up we’re rising! Hooray, up we’re rising! Er-lie in the morning!

I have about 8 verses to bring to tomorrow's protest - I'd love help with more, and a warning if any of these are too harsh or tone-deaf.
  • Shave his head with a rusty razor
  • Give him water from Flint in Michigan
  • Put him in a cage like the kids he's tortured
  • Call in Mueller to investigate him
  • Make him pay a fine every time he's lying
  • Put him in jail with all his lawyers
  • Register to vote and flip the Senate!
posted by ErisLordFreedom to Grab Bag (21 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
 
Take away his golden toilet?
posted by tomboko at 5:37 PM on June 29, 2018 [6 favorites]


These might work as a sequence:

Investigate his High Crimes and Misdemeanors
Flip all his cronies and bring an indictment
Impeach him in the House and convict in the Senate
Throw him in jail like he said he'd do to Hil'ry

Random other possible verses:

Send him to a home with the other geezers
Make him go live with his buddy Putin
Make him watch an endless Maddow marathon

I have a couple witty mefites in my living room making signs right now, so I may be back with more.
posted by firechicago at 6:01 PM on June 29, 2018 [1 favorite]


Clever concept. I suggest avoiding the ones that encourage or hint at bodily harm / razoring / poisoning, so as not to end up on a Secret Service list. Plus, as they say, when you roll in the dirt with a pig you get dirty and the pig likes it.
posted by killdevil at 6:03 PM on June 29, 2018 [13 favorites]


Takw away his wig and sell it on Ebay!
Make him refund all his students!
Strand him on an island with Piers Morgan! (or other noxious celeb/advisor)
Publish his taxes on the internet!
posted by Urtylug at 6:05 PM on June 29, 2018 [4 favorites]


I had a beautiful set of rhyming four, until I read killdevil's post.

Kill joy, more like!
posted by BostonTerrier at 6:18 PM on June 29, 2018 [3 favorites]


Take away his golden toilet?

Would "Flush him down his golden toilet" be considered violent?
posted by Stonkle at 6:37 PM on June 29, 2018 [6 favorites]


To keep the right cadence I'd do - "What shall we do with a crooked leader?" President has an extra syllable.

Syllables for cadence: 1 1 1 1 quick 1 ONE-two ONE-two

Off to trial for high misdemeanors
Make him wear skin-tight Lycra Spandex
10 more hand shakes with Justin Trudeau
Hun-dred hours (as two syllables: ow-wers) of Rachel Maddow
Make him play golf on poi-son i-vy

A slight cheat:
Work as cash-eer at O-ba-ma's Lib'ry
posted by WCityMike at 6:39 PM on June 29, 2018 [7 favorites]


Re-in car-nate as a dung bee-tle

Oooh!

...

Ban from Twi-tter and so-cial me-dia
posted by WCityMike at 6:50 PM on June 29, 2018 [4 favorites]


Make him read a book aloud in public.
posted by phunniemee at 7:21 PM on June 29, 2018


Hold him accountable for murdered reporters
Tell him the truth, that he's a loser
Shun him and all his Nazi brethren
Show him what happens when you don't pay your taxes
Take away his money/oh wait he doesn't have any
posted by ball00000ns at 7:36 PM on June 29, 2018 [1 favorite]


Send him to a home with the other geezers

This is ageist.
posted by MexicanYenta at 9:08 PM on June 29, 2018 [6 favorites]


Same as he’s done to the kids in Texas (early in the morning)

yes I know it’s not just Texas
posted by deludingmyself at 9:46 PM on June 29, 2018 [1 favorite]


What would really hurt him...

Lock him up and forget he existed
posted by greermahoney at 10:32 PM on June 29, 2018 [1 favorite]


Don’t let him pick a Supreme Court justice
posted by ActionPopulated at 10:35 PM on June 29, 2018 [3 favorites]


Put his little hands in a pair of shackles.
Smash his phone and delete his Twitter.
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:57 AM on June 30, 2018 [3 favorites]


Make him live on a teacher's wages
posted by Daily Alice at 6:41 AM on June 30, 2018 [7 favorites]



To keep the right cadence I'd do - "What shall we do with a crooked leader?" President has an extra syllable.


I agree about the cadence, but he's no leader. 'What shall we do with the crooked Cheeto?'
posted by Tsuga at 6:50 AM on June 30, 2018 [5 favorites]


Let Her eat cake and Impeach Him
Take the House and Flip the Senate
posted by theora55 at 10:20 AM on June 30, 2018


you are my hero.
posted by theora55 at 10:21 AM on June 30, 2018


Let him die alone in a public restroom
Let him be himself when he meets Saint Peter
Let him go to hell with his old pal Putin
Let him be remembered as Donnie small hands
posted by Thug at 1:59 PM on June 30, 2018


Late but:
Surround him with love and compassion
Surround him with love and compassion
Surround him with love and compassion
The only way for us all to heal
posted by hannahelastic at 9:24 AM on July 1, 2018


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