Applying to College for (not) dummies, 2018 edition
June 27, 2018 7:26 AM Subscribe
My daughter has her Senior year in HS coming up and I am getting mentally prepared for the college application trek. Need up to date advice, tips and tricks from those who have traveled this path.
My girl is starting Senior year. It's time to start the College application process. It seems so daunting to me but I may have built it up in my head over the past few years.. She has a solid 4.0, Great ACT scores, lots of extras and leadership stuff, we are in Georgia so she will definitly get the Zell Miller Grant or the Hope Scholarship (free money for academic achievement) but I still feel ill-prepared.
What are some tips and tricks to this whole thing? What did you do that made things easier? How can we stand out in the crowd? Anything that you wish you knew before you started the process? Any great websites or apps that help? Any advice is welcome...
She wants to stay in state...UGA is looking like her first choice but its soooo competitive, we need to knock this out of the park and learn about what worked for other folks.
Thanks Hive!!
My girl is starting Senior year. It's time to start the College application process. It seems so daunting to me but I may have built it up in my head over the past few years.. She has a solid 4.0, Great ACT scores, lots of extras and leadership stuff, we are in Georgia so she will definitly get the Zell Miller Grant or the Hope Scholarship (free money for academic achievement) but I still feel ill-prepared.
What are some tips and tricks to this whole thing? What did you do that made things easier? How can we stand out in the crowd? Anything that you wish you knew before you started the process? Any great websites or apps that help? Any advice is welcome...
She wants to stay in state...UGA is looking like her first choice but its soooo competitive, we need to knock this out of the park and learn about what worked for other folks.
Thanks Hive!!
She has a solid 4.0, Great ACT scores, lots of extras and leadership stuff...
Sounds like a great start to me. Maybe come up with a Plan B in case UGA doesn't work out. Looks like UGA has two smaller satellite campuses in addition to the main Athens campus. If she doesn't get into the main campus, are the satellites an option for her?
the result of it is not a referendum on your child or even a reliable predictor of your child's future life
This is so well-stated. I went to an expensive, liberal arts school. I have a relative who went to a state school. We chose very different career paths, and he's the VP of a well-known company and does incredibly well - like, 1% well - and is very young for his success. I'm upper middle class, but nowhere near his income bracket, and I never will be. There are many differences between us, but the biggest is that he tapped into how to make his strengths, skills and talents marketable. He's also a people person, very good at networking, with a sharp mind for business. I'm not saying that's the path to success for everyone - I'm saying that was *his* path. Mine was much more circuitous and travel-oriented, but it totally worked for me and I'm happy. Your daughter will find her path.
Her future success has nothing to do with the school she chooses, unless you're on the Ivy League track, in which case you would already know that. You would have started when she was four with foreign language and cello lessons. Her best chance of being successful is to continue doing what she's doing - study, maintain leadership activities, etc. Your daughter has so much going for her, and it sounds like she has a good chance of getting in despite the competition.
In my opinion, there's nothing you can do now but just apply and wait. And talk to other parents who are going through the same thing.
posted by onecircleaday at 9:18 AM on June 27, 2018
Sounds like a great start to me. Maybe come up with a Plan B in case UGA doesn't work out. Looks like UGA has two smaller satellite campuses in addition to the main Athens campus. If she doesn't get into the main campus, are the satellites an option for her?
the result of it is not a referendum on your child or even a reliable predictor of your child's future life
This is so well-stated. I went to an expensive, liberal arts school. I have a relative who went to a state school. We chose very different career paths, and he's the VP of a well-known company and does incredibly well - like, 1% well - and is very young for his success. I'm upper middle class, but nowhere near his income bracket, and I never will be. There are many differences between us, but the biggest is that he tapped into how to make his strengths, skills and talents marketable. He's also a people person, very good at networking, with a sharp mind for business. I'm not saying that's the path to success for everyone - I'm saying that was *his* path. Mine was much more circuitous and travel-oriented, but it totally worked for me and I'm happy. Your daughter will find her path.
Her future success has nothing to do with the school she chooses, unless you're on the Ivy League track, in which case you would already know that. You would have started when she was four with foreign language and cello lessons. Her best chance of being successful is to continue doing what she's doing - study, maintain leadership activities, etc. Your daughter has so much going for her, and it sounds like she has a good chance of getting in despite the competition.
In my opinion, there's nothing you can do now but just apply and wait. And talk to other parents who are going through the same thing.
posted by onecircleaday at 9:18 AM on June 27, 2018
My stepson just applied to college this year. Totally agree with sheldman above.
The thing that makes it easiest is to do your part, and have your kid do hers. You should focus on the financial stuff, assuming you are contributing to the costs, fill out the FAFSA, scholarship applications, etc., and whatever for Georgia.
Another role you can play is calendar / time management. If she's a procrastinator, you gently reminding her about due dates for applications, writing essays, etc., would be really helpful.
You could also help quell any of her fears and anxieties by spending your time providing advice to her about what to expect in college, talk about balancing social life and school work, being careful about drinking / drugs, just telling her about what your life was like when you went to college (or when you were the same age.) It helped my stepson to sit down with his mom and me, perusing all the college descriptions and just musing on what kind of school he wanted, what it would be like, etc.
Finally, if she's staying in state and not applying to uber competitive schools, you should relax a bit and pass that on to your daughter. UGA is a great school, but its also a big state school with an over 50% acceptance rate - if your kid has a 4.0 GPA / good test scores, seems highly likely she'll gain admission.
posted by RajahKing at 9:22 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
The thing that makes it easiest is to do your part, and have your kid do hers. You should focus on the financial stuff, assuming you are contributing to the costs, fill out the FAFSA, scholarship applications, etc., and whatever for Georgia.
Another role you can play is calendar / time management. If she's a procrastinator, you gently reminding her about due dates for applications, writing essays, etc., would be really helpful.
You could also help quell any of her fears and anxieties by spending your time providing advice to her about what to expect in college, talk about balancing social life and school work, being careful about drinking / drugs, just telling her about what your life was like when you went to college (or when you were the same age.) It helped my stepson to sit down with his mom and me, perusing all the college descriptions and just musing on what kind of school he wanted, what it would be like, etc.
Finally, if she's staying in state and not applying to uber competitive schools, you should relax a bit and pass that on to your daughter. UGA is a great school, but its also a big state school with an over 50% acceptance rate - if your kid has a 4.0 GPA / good test scores, seems highly likely she'll gain admission.
posted by RajahKing at 9:22 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
I didn't address the practical aspect of your question.
This from the National College Fairs looks like a great start; it breaks down the senior checklist by month.
posted by onecircleaday at 9:25 AM on June 27, 2018
This from the National College Fairs looks like a great start; it breaks down the senior checklist by month.
posted by onecircleaday at 9:25 AM on June 27, 2018
I've gone through this three times and the two most critical pieces of advice I can beg you to accept are:
1. DO EARLY DECISION. Those kids are almost always accepted at a higher percentage rate than regular admission and senior year and the whole thing can be extremely stressful for kids. It is a TON easier if they do early decision because then they can just work early on the apps and then be done.
2. Your freshman year college IS NOT A PERMANENT DECISION, don't take it that seriously. Sure, find schools that are in places you'd like to be and campuses that appear enjoyable, but do not convince yourself there's only one "right" college and it's a life or death decision to find it. It isn't and you can transfer and a lot of freshman year is what you bring to the table and make of available school services.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 9:51 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
1. DO EARLY DECISION. Those kids are almost always accepted at a higher percentage rate than regular admission and senior year and the whole thing can be extremely stressful for kids. It is a TON easier if they do early decision because then they can just work early on the apps and then be done.
2. Your freshman year college IS NOT A PERMANENT DECISION, don't take it that seriously. Sure, find schools that are in places you'd like to be and campuses that appear enjoyable, but do not convince yourself there's only one "right" college and it's a life or death decision to find it. It isn't and you can transfer and a lot of freshman year is what you bring to the table and make of available school services.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 9:51 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
College marketing is pretty intense. You have to be able to see through the noise.
It is much more important that she is in a major she can do well in and graduate on time from, at a reasonable cost, than what specific school she goes to.
For example, if she wants to be a hard science or engineering major, she has to know that she needs to start 1st semester freshman year taking extremely challenging classes in her major. If she's not prepared for those classes, or doesn't take them because she doesn't know what she wants to do, she's not going to graduate on time.
If she wants to do most sciences or social sciences that's fine, but she has to know that grad school is pretty much required to get a job in those fields. So her #1 objective should be to figure out how to get into and pay for grad school.
Humanities are great but they don't normally lead directly to job opportunities. Which is totally fine, you just have to take that into account and plan for it.
The actual school doesn't matter that much. Any school in the top 200 nationally is just fine (assuming it actually has the major she wants to do). Program reputation matters a lot in grad school, but not really in undergrad at all.
Remember that private schools are playing a complicated game where they'll reduce the cost of tuition if they think you'll add value to the incoming class and do well at the school. If she's really a great student and has other desirable characteristics (plays an unusual instrument, has a unique background) she may very well pay next to nothing at a private school. Or, she might be "accepted" to a private school, but asked to pay an insane amount of tuition.
Internships matter more and more. If she possibly can, she should do 3 different, competitive internships in her field during her 4 years in college.
posted by miyabo at 10:00 AM on June 27, 2018
It is much more important that she is in a major she can do well in and graduate on time from, at a reasonable cost, than what specific school she goes to.
For example, if she wants to be a hard science or engineering major, she has to know that she needs to start 1st semester freshman year taking extremely challenging classes in her major. If she's not prepared for those classes, or doesn't take them because she doesn't know what she wants to do, she's not going to graduate on time.
If she wants to do most sciences or social sciences that's fine, but she has to know that grad school is pretty much required to get a job in those fields. So her #1 objective should be to figure out how to get into and pay for grad school.
Humanities are great but they don't normally lead directly to job opportunities. Which is totally fine, you just have to take that into account and plan for it.
The actual school doesn't matter that much. Any school in the top 200 nationally is just fine (assuming it actually has the major she wants to do). Program reputation matters a lot in grad school, but not really in undergrad at all.
Remember that private schools are playing a complicated game where they'll reduce the cost of tuition if they think you'll add value to the incoming class and do well at the school. If she's really a great student and has other desirable characteristics (plays an unusual instrument, has a unique background) she may very well pay next to nothing at a private school. Or, she might be "accepted" to a private school, but asked to pay an insane amount of tuition.
Internships matter more and more. If she possibly can, she should do 3 different, competitive internships in her field during her 4 years in college.
posted by miyabo at 10:00 AM on June 27, 2018
Maybe consider spending some time (doesn't have to be at once, better even if it's a recurrent thing) to help her reflect. Not "make a list of 12 college goals" but more the open-ended kind where she realizes the important questions aren't ones The Right College will somehow solve, but the ones she wil encounter anywhere she goes. Questions about her values, identity, etc., what kind of person she wants to be and what kind of life she wants to create for herself and others. There are many possible futures at this point in her life, if it were me back then, I'd have liked someone to help me see what all these futures have in common.
posted by ipsative at 10:43 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by ipsative at 10:43 AM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
I wrote up what I learned about the scholarship chase when my daughter was doing this 4 years ago.
posted by COD at 11:15 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by COD at 11:15 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
This is going to be LONG. I apologize.
So I've done this twice (once in 2015 and once just this year), both times with kids who were high-achieving, had high ACT scores, and impeccable extra-curriculars (related to what they were declaring as their majors in college, they were passionate about them, involved for many years and had leadership positions). They both had the help of their college counselors at their small private high school.
One of them was accepted to every one of her top choice schools, with excellent scholarships attached to all of them. The other one was denied acceptance at every one of his top schools but ended up at a place he's happy to be now.
I tell you this because unless your kid literally ticks every single box for the colleges she's looking at, it's kind of a crap shoot as to who gets in*. And that's because college admissions departments these days are building entire classes. So if they already have 47 Caucasian young men who want to major in Botany and plan to join the A Capella group, they probably aren't going to take a 48th.
What this means for your kid is that you really, really need to stress that this decision is NOT the end all be all. It really isn't, I promise you. If you make it the end all be all, you'll end up with a kid who dives deep down into depression because his top choice schools all turned him down (ask me how I know; we learned from our mistakes).
Okay. That said:
If you've already started college visits, good. If you haven't, get on it. Some (most) colleges track the student's interest, up to and including knowing if they're clicking on emails and the links within. It's not a bad idea for your kid to reach out to professors, but make sure it's not some generic thing she's asking about. Have her do some digging. See what the professors in her desired department are researching. If something looks interesting or amazing, she should drop that person an email and ask about it. If admissions department staff give her business cards, she should email them and thank them for their time. The goal is to get her in the front of people's minds so she stands out.
Have her start writing her Common App essay now. Luckily the prompts for this year are the same as last year. Throw out the first draft. And the second. Probably the third. But DO NOT WRITE IT FOR HER. All those words need to be hers. This is a tricky part for parents who write well. The instinct is to edit the hell out of it. But if she's writing an essay that SHE is passionate about, it will show.
Someone upthread mentioned doing Early Decision. That's all fine and well if you aren't looking to finance most of her education with merit scholarships or financial aid. The drawback with ED is that you will not have the luxury of comparing all of the financial packages before making a decision. ED is binding. That means if she applies ED and is accepted to that school, that's where she's going. A family can beg off if they feel the finances don't work (but you won't know that for several months), but it's not often done. If that's not an issue, go for it. Also, yes, transferring is an option but merit scholarships do not follow from one school to another.
Keep track of all the deadlines for application. They are not optional. Some schools will have additional essays to write. Some schools will have separate scholarships to apply for that will require additional essays. Some schools don't make it easy to find deadlines/scholarships. The more she can get done now, over the summer, the less she will have to stress about once school starts. Get that Common App essay written. Make a spreadsheet of all the deadlines. Truly understand what each school is asking of the applicant.
She'll need two (sometimes more) teacher recommendations, in addition to her school counselor's recommendation. She should ask them as close to the beginning of school as possible. They don't have to be current year teachers.
Take a look at the FAFSA. All colleges require it. It will probably take more time than you think to complete it.
That's all I can think of right now. Feel free to MeMail me if you have any questions. After going through this twice, I kind of feel like I missed my calling as a college counselor in high school.
And even then, there is no guarantee that a "perfect" candidate will get in to their top school. You all need to accept that right off the bat.
posted by cooker girl at 11:23 AM on June 27, 2018 [4 favorites]
So I've done this twice (once in 2015 and once just this year), both times with kids who were high-achieving, had high ACT scores, and impeccable extra-curriculars (related to what they were declaring as their majors in college, they were passionate about them, involved for many years and had leadership positions). They both had the help of their college counselors at their small private high school.
One of them was accepted to every one of her top choice schools, with excellent scholarships attached to all of them. The other one was denied acceptance at every one of his top schools but ended up at a place he's happy to be now.
I tell you this because unless your kid literally ticks every single box for the colleges she's looking at, it's kind of a crap shoot as to who gets in*. And that's because college admissions departments these days are building entire classes. So if they already have 47 Caucasian young men who want to major in Botany and plan to join the A Capella group, they probably aren't going to take a 48th.
What this means for your kid is that you really, really need to stress that this decision is NOT the end all be all. It really isn't, I promise you. If you make it the end all be all, you'll end up with a kid who dives deep down into depression because his top choice schools all turned him down (ask me how I know; we learned from our mistakes).
Okay. That said:
If you've already started college visits, good. If you haven't, get on it. Some (most) colleges track the student's interest, up to and including knowing if they're clicking on emails and the links within. It's not a bad idea for your kid to reach out to professors, but make sure it's not some generic thing she's asking about. Have her do some digging. See what the professors in her desired department are researching. If something looks interesting or amazing, she should drop that person an email and ask about it. If admissions department staff give her business cards, she should email them and thank them for their time. The goal is to get her in the front of people's minds so she stands out.
Have her start writing her Common App essay now. Luckily the prompts for this year are the same as last year. Throw out the first draft. And the second. Probably the third. But DO NOT WRITE IT FOR HER. All those words need to be hers. This is a tricky part for parents who write well. The instinct is to edit the hell out of it. But if she's writing an essay that SHE is passionate about, it will show.
Someone upthread mentioned doing Early Decision. That's all fine and well if you aren't looking to finance most of her education with merit scholarships or financial aid. The drawback with ED is that you will not have the luxury of comparing all of the financial packages before making a decision. ED is binding. That means if she applies ED and is accepted to that school, that's where she's going. A family can beg off if they feel the finances don't work (but you won't know that for several months), but it's not often done. If that's not an issue, go for it. Also, yes, transferring is an option but merit scholarships do not follow from one school to another.
Keep track of all the deadlines for application. They are not optional. Some schools will have additional essays to write. Some schools will have separate scholarships to apply for that will require additional essays. Some schools don't make it easy to find deadlines/scholarships. The more she can get done now, over the summer, the less she will have to stress about once school starts. Get that Common App essay written. Make a spreadsheet of all the deadlines. Truly understand what each school is asking of the applicant.
She'll need two (sometimes more) teacher recommendations, in addition to her school counselor's recommendation. She should ask them as close to the beginning of school as possible. They don't have to be current year teachers.
Take a look at the FAFSA. All colleges require it. It will probably take more time than you think to complete it.
That's all I can think of right now. Feel free to MeMail me if you have any questions. After going through this twice, I kind of feel like I missed my calling as a college counselor in high school.
And even then, there is no guarantee that a "perfect" candidate will get in to their top school. You all need to accept that right off the bat.
posted by cooker girl at 11:23 AM on June 27, 2018 [4 favorites]
Oh, forgot to mention one super important thing:
She'll get out of college what she puts into it. If she gets involved and makes relationships with her profs and cohort, if she takes advantage of the opportunities that are there for her, she will be fine.
posted by cooker girl at 11:39 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
She'll get out of college what she puts into it. If she gets involved and makes relationships with her profs and cohort, if she takes advantage of the opportunities that are there for her, she will be fine.
posted by cooker girl at 11:39 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
Encourage your kiddo to look at the medium sized schools in their system as well as the top tier huge schools. I teach at a medium sized public university, and we offer a stellar education. We're big enough to be able to offer a lot of the material resources and programs bigger schools have, but we have smaller class counts and the time to offer a lot more mentorship and face time than some bigger schools can (my undergrads - both advisees and those in my classes - have open door access to me. I didn't have that with any of my professors at Flagship U.)
We have a lot of students who come here intending to do a year and transfer to either of the flagships in the system... and stay for the field schools, undergraduate research, 8 billion student orgs, amazing study abroad program (they will figure out a way to pay for it), and smaller community. I know it's tempting as a top tier student to shoot only for flagships, but your medium sized schools have so much to offer; take a look.
posted by joycehealy at 11:51 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
We have a lot of students who come here intending to do a year and transfer to either of the flagships in the system... and stay for the field schools, undergraduate research, 8 billion student orgs, amazing study abroad program (they will figure out a way to pay for it), and smaller community. I know it's tempting as a top tier student to shoot only for flagships, but your medium sized schools have so much to offer; take a look.
posted by joycehealy at 11:51 AM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
Before anything else, you should know that there are hundreds of schools that could challenge you and bring you into contact with fascinating people with whom you can make wonderful memories. There is no perfect match, and you can find most of what you're looking for in many more places than you might expect. Be open to names you haven't heard, places you haven't been and don't settle for famous brands.
1. It's a bit late for you guys, but I normally tell people to try to visit in Jr year to help figure out what you like, dislike or don't care about: rural or urban, huge or small, private or public, modern or mossy/traditional. That list your DD made during math class is probably completely wrong. Also, don't make your first visits to schools you love. Start out at some generic school so you can learn the ropes of visiting, interviewing, and what to be impressed about ("the dryer will text you?!? wow..."). It will free you to be able to focus on important things when you are visiting places you care about. And knock out three or four sentences about your impressions right afterwards, while it's fresh in your mind. If you went with someone else have them make some notes about what you said or felt so you can crosscheck later. I recognized far earlier than my daughter that she was liking the smaller schools far more than her criteria would indicate.
2. As flattering as reach schools are, try to look at true match schools that will be thrilled to have you. You fit in better, it's more fun to be near the top of the class, the financial aid is better and you usually find more of what you want because you have a broader selection. It's cool to dream about being from Harvard, but four years of desperately battling to stay near the middle of a herd of superstars can hold way more stress, work, cost and failure than most kids want. Drop down a tier and you may find that instead of Admissions throwing darts at a thousand identical apps, they might be throwing money and honors invitations at you. Get past the daydreams and find a place where you can thrive.
3. I know I said there are a lot of places you could go, but be just as honest when admitting that some places are just a bad fit. It may be beautiful or in a great city or really cheap or near kids from school or have an awesome football team, but really ask if you will ever go outside, or be challenged academically, or overwhelmed academically, or can afford it, or actually want to be part of Greek world or whatever other great aspect you were raving about. Talk to someone you respect about why you're in love with a school and listen to your words for any sign you're talking about someone else's life.
4. This one is HUGE: Cost matters. Send the parents out separately to run some Net Price Calculators at a variety of types of schools so they have a realistic understanding of what the costs are going to be. (Parents might prefer to suffer the sticker shock in private with a bottle of wine rather than letting the kids know how deep the water is right off the bat.) Then provide the student with some real guidelines on resources and walk through a couple NPC examples that will illustrate the possibilities and boundaries. Best to show how these are arrived at early to avoid unnecessary drama later.
BTW, the NPC is a wonderful thing that made our selection process go much easier. They are frequently very accurate, and even if you only round to the nearest $25k you can hand over enough family finance info to allow your child to police herself and knock schools off well before you even hear about them.
5. Someone said this up above, but I like it too: you can change your mind. This not like enlisting in the Army, so you can leave without staying for four years. So many things can change for an 18 year old just leaving home: you hate your major, health issues can arise for you or a family member, financial circumstances can change, you learn something about who you are and what you want, you hate winter, there are so many ways that plans made in April can be in ruins by Christmas. It's not a failure if you're heading to some place better, so stay aware of how things are going and make sure your persistence isn't just shame over a decision that isn't working out. I'm a rock-headed Scandinavian-German stoic, so I know from persistence, but stay healthy, you know?
EDIT: I wrote this a couple years ago for another reason but it encapsulates most of my thoughts on this journey. Oh, one other point is to keep it fun. This should be more of an adventure than a desperate plodding obligation.
posted by Cris E at 12:16 PM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
1. It's a bit late for you guys, but I normally tell people to try to visit in Jr year to help figure out what you like, dislike or don't care about: rural or urban, huge or small, private or public, modern or mossy/traditional. That list your DD made during math class is probably completely wrong. Also, don't make your first visits to schools you love. Start out at some generic school so you can learn the ropes of visiting, interviewing, and what to be impressed about ("the dryer will text you?!? wow..."). It will free you to be able to focus on important things when you are visiting places you care about. And knock out three or four sentences about your impressions right afterwards, while it's fresh in your mind. If you went with someone else have them make some notes about what you said or felt so you can crosscheck later. I recognized far earlier than my daughter that she was liking the smaller schools far more than her criteria would indicate.
2. As flattering as reach schools are, try to look at true match schools that will be thrilled to have you. You fit in better, it's more fun to be near the top of the class, the financial aid is better and you usually find more of what you want because you have a broader selection. It's cool to dream about being from Harvard, but four years of desperately battling to stay near the middle of a herd of superstars can hold way more stress, work, cost and failure than most kids want. Drop down a tier and you may find that instead of Admissions throwing darts at a thousand identical apps, they might be throwing money and honors invitations at you. Get past the daydreams and find a place where you can thrive.
3. I know I said there are a lot of places you could go, but be just as honest when admitting that some places are just a bad fit. It may be beautiful or in a great city or really cheap or near kids from school or have an awesome football team, but really ask if you will ever go outside, or be challenged academically, or overwhelmed academically, or can afford it, or actually want to be part of Greek world or whatever other great aspect you were raving about. Talk to someone you respect about why you're in love with a school and listen to your words for any sign you're talking about someone else's life.
4. This one is HUGE: Cost matters. Send the parents out separately to run some Net Price Calculators at a variety of types of schools so they have a realistic understanding of what the costs are going to be. (Parents might prefer to suffer the sticker shock in private with a bottle of wine rather than letting the kids know how deep the water is right off the bat.) Then provide the student with some real guidelines on resources and walk through a couple NPC examples that will illustrate the possibilities and boundaries. Best to show how these are arrived at early to avoid unnecessary drama later.
BTW, the NPC is a wonderful thing that made our selection process go much easier. They are frequently very accurate, and even if you only round to the nearest $25k you can hand over enough family finance info to allow your child to police herself and knock schools off well before you even hear about them.
5. Someone said this up above, but I like it too: you can change your mind. This not like enlisting in the Army, so you can leave without staying for four years. So many things can change for an 18 year old just leaving home: you hate your major, health issues can arise for you or a family member, financial circumstances can change, you learn something about who you are and what you want, you hate winter, there are so many ways that plans made in April can be in ruins by Christmas. It's not a failure if you're heading to some place better, so stay aware of how things are going and make sure your persistence isn't just shame over a decision that isn't working out. I'm a rock-headed Scandinavian-German stoic, so I know from persistence, but stay healthy, you know?
EDIT: I wrote this a couple years ago for another reason but it encapsulates most of my thoughts on this journey. Oh, one other point is to keep it fun. This should be more of an adventure than a desperate plodding obligation.
posted by Cris E at 12:16 PM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
Something else you might be able to help her with, especially if she is applying to multiple schools, is to guide her in staying organized and on-track for all the things that need to be completed. Recommendation letters? check. Admissions essays? check. Transcripts? check. So much of college admissions is done online and, having recently gone through the Grad school application process myself, means that keeping track of things that are not physical can be challenging. Don't do it FOR her but certainly you can guide her through that, whether writing physical lists or creating spreadsheets and folders to keep track. It's a small thing but can help make that which is overwhelming seem doable.
posted by acidnova at 12:29 PM on June 27, 2018
posted by acidnova at 12:29 PM on June 27, 2018
Your most important role is in figuring out the finances. You will have a good idea of what you can afford to pay. Each college will have a calculator that estimates what they will ask you to pay, including any merit aid or loans. The estimates are good if you are neither divorced or a small business owner. She cannot go to a college that you cannot afford, so you need to check them out carefully.
Related points to the above.
posted by plonkee at 12:48 PM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
Related points to the above.
- Sticker price at a college does not have any real relation to the price you personally pay. Do not rule out private colleges for financial reasons until you have tried out their calculator.
- Out of state public universities can occasionally be a good bargain. I realise you said she's planning to stay instate, but if Alabama could be potential option then it might help to know that Bama, UABirmingham and UAHuntsville have in previous years offered very good automatic scholarships up to and including room, board and book allowance for high stats students from any state.
- It is essential to have a safety choice. This means one that she will easily get in to (ie the average student has stats much lower than hers), you can afford to pay for, and she is willing to go to if (at worst if it's the only choice). Ideally, you would have two such safeties so that she can choose between them if her other options don't work out.
posted by plonkee at 12:48 PM on June 27, 2018 [1 favorite]
I was in a used bookstore recently and happened to look through a copy of What Colleges Don't Tell You. I thought it had a lot of highly useful tidbits about the process. One that I remember specifically was that admissions officers will frequently tell you "there's no cutoff" for test scores like the SATs. That's sort of true, but it's only true for someone who is, like, related to royalty or has published 12 books by the time they graduate high school. For everyone else, yes, there's a cutoff, and yes, test scores matter. There was also a tip in there that if the school gives you the option to do something extra, like write a second essay, you should always do it (to demonstrate interest). If tips like these sound useful, you'll probably get a lot out of the book.
posted by danceswithlight at 3:40 PM on June 27, 2018
posted by danceswithlight at 3:40 PM on June 27, 2018
College admissions are an absolute crapshoot. You can be waitlisted/accepted by an Ivy and flat rejected by another, or by a SLAC. I came from a school of high-achieving, best-in-the-country students, and who went where had very, very little to do with who we privately thought were the best and/or "most deserving" students because the college app profile the system forces you to build is a poor representation of who you are as a person.
Going to a "good" school is not necessarily worth it.
1) I went to a public state school with decent international rankings but had a ton of opportunities there because it was easier to stand out, and with less competition within the school, I could spend more time on my outside research/ writing work. The faculty and curriculum did not push me as much intellectually, but I found reading groups, I used their library resources, I taught myself the latest research and theory.
2) plans change. Having the freedom to change major or take an extra year to figure out what you want to do is easier when you're not paying 30K/year for it.
Get the standardized testing out of the way early. SAT IIs are easy to study for; she should be able to ace them by now with a little prep.
posted by ahundredjarsofsky at 7:16 PM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
Going to a "good" school is not necessarily worth it.
1) I went to a public state school with decent international rankings but had a ton of opportunities there because it was easier to stand out, and with less competition within the school, I could spend more time on my outside research/ writing work. The faculty and curriculum did not push me as much intellectually, but I found reading groups, I used their library resources, I taught myself the latest research and theory.
2) plans change. Having the freedom to change major or take an extra year to figure out what you want to do is easier when you're not paying 30K/year for it.
Get the standardized testing out of the way early. SAT IIs are easy to study for; she should be able to ace them by now with a little prep.
posted by ahundredjarsofsky at 7:16 PM on June 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
As someone who was applying to colleges five years ago:
Do not let her make UGA or her future college or whatever part of her identity. You can't really enforce this because her peers will be doing that for you to some extent, but you can try to extend a little perspective. She really will be fine no matter where she ends up. If she's personally driven, your job is to make sure she has safety schools and that she takes whatever happens with the knowledge that you love and support her and know she can be valuable anywhere.
Political campaigns or volunteering or advocacy all help with this. Not getting into my first choices didn't break my heart because I'd already been volunteering with people who'd never gone to college (which also had the effect of teaching me how much of a horrible little snob I was) and had full lives in general outside the hothouse of affluent high schools.
posted by storytam at 2:06 AM on June 28, 2018 [1 favorite]
Do not let her make UGA or her future college or whatever part of her identity. You can't really enforce this because her peers will be doing that for you to some extent, but you can try to extend a little perspective. She really will be fine no matter where she ends up. If she's personally driven, your job is to make sure she has safety schools and that she takes whatever happens with the knowledge that you love and support her and know she can be valuable anywhere.
Political campaigns or volunteering or advocacy all help with this. Not getting into my first choices didn't break my heart because I'd already been volunteering with people who'd never gone to college (which also had the effect of teaching me how much of a horrible little snob I was) and had full lives in general outside the hothouse of affluent high schools.
posted by storytam at 2:06 AM on June 28, 2018 [1 favorite]
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My most fervent advice to you is that it is your child's process and your child's application, not your family's ("How can we stand out in the crowd?" No. Not "we.") - AND that the result of it is not a referendum on your child or even a reliable predictor of your child's future life. You may think that by saying that, I am fighting your question. I am not. This is the best tip.
If you reject this advice, then pay a consultant to game the system for you, to help write the kid's essays, etc.
posted by sheldman at 8:11 AM on June 27, 2018 [17 favorites]