How can my husband track my movements?

June 26, 2018 7:54 AM

I'm in the beginning stages of a divorce. In the past, I know my husband has been able to locate me via the location of my iPad. Can he find me via my iPhone? My laptop? What about my car? I have a newer Subaru and I know he has an app on his phone that allows him to lock it remotely. Is there a way he can see where I am? Can you tell me what to do for each of these items?
posted by johannsebastianbachpuppet to Technology (14 answers total)

You can turn off iOS location sharing by reversing the steps in this article, and double check both your location services and iCloud settings to ensure it's not being shared. Might as well uncheck any apps' location permissions you don't need.

I'm not sure how to remove his access thru the Subaru app to your car, but you could try calling their customer service and asking. If you never use the app and want to be sure, there may be a fuse you can pull to disable the Starlink telematics system.
posted by a halcyon day at 8:03 AM on June 26, 2018 [7 favorites]

Google has a location feature; make sure that's turned off.

Best practice is to delete your social media; if you won't do that, stop posting. If you won't do that, make it private and turn off location sharing. Twitter, Facebook. I don't know anything about Instagram. Make sure your FRIENDS don't tag you in anything or mention anything about you.
posted by AFABulous at 9:09 AM on June 26, 2018 [1 favorite]

If you have a PC or MAC at home, make sure you are logged out of them.
posted by thenormshow at 9:17 AM on June 26, 2018 [1 favorite]

You need to change ALL of your passwords to something completely new. Avoid using dates, pets, kids, family names, colleges, towns, or anything else he might know about you. Your best bet is to use a password manager like 1Password to automatically create new basically unguessable passwords for you.

Gmail and Facebook may sometimes show other IP addresses that an account is logged in from, which means that if your soon-to-be-ex has your password, he can get that information, too.

It is very easy and cheap to install keylogger software on any computer once you have the root or admin password so that the user simply never sees it unless they know how to look. This is harder to figure out but this should help for a Windows laptop https://techviral.net/detect-keylogger-in-your-system/ and this for a Mac one https://forums.macrumors.com/...check-a-mac-for-spyware-keylogger-and-virus.1948593/ but really the best thing to do in order to be absolutely sure of your phone, tablet, and laptop is to completely wipe and reinstall the operating system without importing settings from the old install. It is laborious but you will have peace of mind.

I would also wipe and reboot a router if you have one of your own that you were both using, turn off or delete your presence in any "family" features in Amazon Prime, Netflix, Google Drive/Google One, and double-check that none of your Gmail is being forwarded anywhere else.

Don't forget to change passwords on bank accounts, retirement accounts, any place you buy things online, utilities and other government services, etc., etc.
posted by Mo Nickels at 9:28 AM on June 26, 2018 [11 favorites]

If you think that he may have put a tracker on your car, this article has information on finding it.
posted by jennstra at 9:41 AM on June 26, 2018 [1 favorite]

Apart from software keyloggers check your USB ports and your keyboard cable for physical ones.
posted by Iteki at 10:07 AM on June 26, 2018 [1 favorite]

Also do you have any home automation? Lights, plugs etc that are app controlled, an Alexa or chrome caste or other streaming assistants, these might show you as home or not home for example.
posted by Iteki at 10:09 AM on June 26, 2018 [3 favorites]

Check your phone and tablet frequently. Sometimes when the device or apps are updated it will turn back on features you have disabled in the past.
posted by Justin Case at 11:22 AM on June 26, 2018 [4 favorites]

There are some good answers up above, but don't worry about future updates for now. That's not really something practical to worry about at this stage.

Having just helped a friend through this, this is what I helped her with:

Priority 1: change passwords for everything, move everything over to your name, use a password manager
Priority 2: run privacy and security check ups on everything thing, log out everything
Priority 3: record everything you suspect you're being followed on, with dates and times of the occurrences on pen and paper and let your legal counsel know

You'll need to change the passwords on all of your accounts, especially if you used a shared computer or had given them access in the past.

When you change your passwords there is also usually an option to log out existing sessions from those accounts - you should do that as well.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/help/443357099140264/
Gmail: https://myaccount.google.com/privacycheckup?pli=1
Apple: https://www.apple.com/privacy/manage-your-privacy/

For the vehicle, stop by the dealer - this is likely tied to the Subaru Starlink Service. That will need to be moved over to you, or cancelled. The Dealer may be able to just de-register it.

Hope this helps. If you suspect your personal data is being accessed, talk to your lawyer and at the very least start keeping a record of things as well as the circumstances. Do this with pen and paper.
posted by iamabot at 12:16 PM on June 26, 2018 [3 favorites]

Of course change passwords and use a new password scheme. I would consider opening a new email account that is never used to communicate with the ex. Use that account on the ipad and iphone, change the subaru to that account, amazon, etc. On some accounts, you may have used his email as a backup; change this to a friend's email. Get in touch with your local family violence support program and ask for their help with this; they should have some experience with stalkers and technology. Keep your current email account alive, use it for anything like kids' school that may involve the ex-, use the existing account; no need for him to know he should go looking.

I've done a lot of tech support. MeMail with questions.
posted by theora55 at 1:55 PM on June 26, 2018

I sometimes do this when I'm checking on my wife, not in a stalker way, just wanting to know where she's about to. I use the theft locator functions of iOS as well as anti-theft apps like Prey. All the above suggestions are relevant. Keep in mind that if you do not understand how to address these types of problems from a technical perspective, changing passwords and wiping the machine's operating system back to the default setting and reinstalling your setup is your first line of defense.

I use Laspass as a password manager. If you have a shared password manager or your ex helped set it up, change the password to that too.
posted by diode at 3:44 PM on June 26, 2018

I'm sorry you're going through this, it's repugnant that someone would do this to another person. When a family member of mine left her ex-shitbag, one of the ways he tracked her that's not yet been mentioned was the EZ-Pass in her car (or whatever the auto-pay toll road thing is called in her state). He still had access to that account and could see what toll roads she was using and when she used them, which was enough for him to make some guesses as to where she was. When you're changing all your passwords as described above, don't forget that one if you have it. Best wishes.
posted by DingoMutt at 7:49 PM on June 26, 2018

Re passwords: change your security questions, too, to ones he wouldn't know the answer to. You can use nonsense answers so long as you can answer them (another good use for a password manager).
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:48 PM on June 27, 2018

For online accounts you may also want to set up two factor authentication, which will require a message be sent to your phone if you log in from a new location.

In iPhone, iPad, etc devices, make sure to deactivate the Find My Phone feature, and make sure the device is associated with your account.

If y ou haven't done so already, block him on Facebook or other Social Media , and perhaps set up the options that either prevent you from being tagged in photos or require you to approve any tags so that friends don't accidentally broadcast your location if they post a photo saying where they are.

If you are living with him, make sure to log out of devices when done. You might also use your browser's private mode so that your browser history doesn't give away too much information.

The EFF has some good information on Surveillance Self Defense online. Its more geared to reporters / protesters but may have some good information for you: https://ssd.eff.org/en

If you have a lawyer, this is something to talk to them about as well.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope it gets better soon.
posted by nalyd at 3:30 AM on June 29, 2018 [1 favorite]