So, do I take the job?! (even if it means a BIG move)

June 4, 2018 4:47 PM

As my current contract wraps up, I've started to apply for jobs both in the town I'm currently living as well as in the town I'm from. And as life would have it, I very unexpectedly just got offered a job back in my old hometown. So, do I take it? Complicating details within.

I have been thinking more and more that I would like to, eventually, move back to my hometown. My aging parents are there as are my siblings. The winters and summers are milder, and I have a couple of good friends in the areas and its surroundings... But now somehow just doesn't feel like the *right* time to be moving. And when I got the job offer, I didn't feel happy, more just a totally overwhelming feeling and a sense that the timing is just bad.

For example, I have just started seeing someone I really like (for the first time in years); I recently moved into a sweet, new house; and I have such a good group of friends here. And it's summer and it feels like I would be giving up so much.

But onto the jobs. The job is good, pays better than anything I've ever earned, and is in a field I'm excited about. It's also the only job offer on my plate, and my contract is up in a month. (Although I have saving to last me at least a year!)

So you probably can't tell me whether or not I should take the job, but I'd love some help figuring out what the best move (!) is.

posted by Ocellar to Work & Money (5 answers total)

Normally I'd be the leader of the "Go for it!" cheering squad, but: I've been in this situation. Sometimes moving back feels like moving backwards. In your situation, I would stay in your sweet new house and use it as a base of operations for at least 2 months beyond the end of the current contract. That gives you three months to scheme with your new squeeze for support.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 4:55 PM on June 4, 2018 [1 favorite]

I'm all about moving back to hometowns. I think it's a great decision, and I wish I had the ability to do so. But here's the thing: which option will you regret not doing? Five or ten years from now, are you going to look back and say "I wish I'd spent more time in my nice house with my friends and dates"? Or "I wish I'd taken that job"? Everyone weighs these things differently. Personally, despite my affinity for my hometown, I'd answer the former, hands down. I value my life outside of the office much more than my career. Other people value their careers more. Decide what matters to you most.
posted by kevinbelt at 6:04 PM on June 4, 2018 [2 favorites]

You don't want to move back to your hometown yet so don't! You'll find another job, try to leverage the offer you got!
posted by masquesoporfavor at 7:41 PM on June 4, 2018

Listen to your gut. Enjoy your sweet sweet house, your friends, and the company of this new person while you figure things out. If you feel like you’re giving up a lot for this job, then it’s a bad idea. You sound really happy about where you are living right now and the circumstances of your life. Capitalism trains us to believe that our value is in what we do for a living. That is an unfortunate way to live. Your current situation sounds really nice. You can always change it later. If you can afford to stay and keep looking, do that. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 11:42 PM on June 4, 2018 [1 favorite]

I think this is a gut thing. Pretend, for a moment, that you got an email in your inbox saying: "Whoops, sorry, we have to retract that job offer and the position no longer exists." Would you feel bummed out or relieved?

There are some other ways to look at it. What if you and this person you're seeing don't work out - would you have wished you took that job? What if you took the job and broke up with this person - would you spend your life wondering if it could've worked out?

I'll sometimes make a pros and cons list for decisions like this, but usually it comes down to gut because neither sounds like a bad option. It's just about which is right for you, right now.
posted by AppleTurnover at 12:07 AM on June 5, 2018 [2 favorites]