How can I stop making mistakes?
May 25, 2018 11:38 PM Subscribe
My boss recently told me that I would not be getting a promotion I'd expected because I ask too many questions and make too many mistakes. The upshot of this conversation is that I'm petrified of making more mistakes and also trying to reduce the number of questions I ask, which means...way more mistakes. How can I break this cycle?
Bonus question: This conversation came as a huge surprise to me, as I really strongly doubt that I make more mistakes than others in similar roles, based on the evidence of my own eyes, as well as feedback from others. But ever since, I've been making them all the time. Also, the mistakes are really stupid basic ones; I have had virtually no issues with high-level stuff. I guess you'll just have to take my word for it, but think, like, I put the wrong date on a memo but wrote 5 pages of excellent analysis.
Bonus question: This conversation came as a huge surprise to me, as I really strongly doubt that I make more mistakes than others in similar roles, based on the evidence of my own eyes, as well as feedback from others. But ever since, I've been making them all the time. Also, the mistakes are really stupid basic ones; I have had virtually no issues with high-level stuff. I guess you'll just have to take my word for it, but think, like, I put the wrong date on a memo but wrote 5 pages of excellent analysis.
If I were you, I'd start looking for another job because your boss does not believe you're competent enough to be promoted or possibly even keep the job you have. Although it may not be accurate, when your supervisor expresses this lack of faith in your abilities, it's their way of saying your work is not valued. I'd move on.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 2:04 AM on May 26, 2018 [53 favorites]
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 2:04 AM on May 26, 2018 [53 favorites]
like, I put the wrong date on a memo but wrote 5 pages of excellent analysis.
That’s called not paying attention to details* and, depending on the job, can warrant the type of comment that your boss made. For the feedback to be helpful, it needs to be much more specific about your shortcomings so you can address them.
* It could mean many things, including that you’re I’ll suited or poorly trained for the role or just careless.
posted by Kwadeng at 2:40 AM on May 26, 2018 [11 favorites]
That’s called not paying attention to details* and, depending on the job, can warrant the type of comment that your boss made. For the feedback to be helpful, it needs to be much more specific about your shortcomings so you can address them.
* It could mean many things, including that you’re I’ll suited or poorly trained for the role or just careless.
posted by Kwadeng at 2:40 AM on May 26, 2018 [11 favorites]
The issue with not paying attention to details (conditions as above), is that some people think: "if you can't take care of the details, how can you take care of the big picture?". Details are important as indicators of quality, and errors with things like dates may have legal or commercial implications.
The saying 'less haste, more speed' is appropriate here, maybe. You maybe doing great big-picture work, but even big-picture stuff is built on the quality of the little cogs and wheels.
posted by Thella at 3:08 AM on May 26, 2018 [16 favorites]
The saying 'less haste, more speed' is appropriate here, maybe. You maybe doing great big-picture work, but even big-picture stuff is built on the quality of the little cogs and wheels.
posted by Thella at 3:08 AM on May 26, 2018 [16 favorites]
I highly suggest asking another member of your team to QC your documents. Make that a permanent part of your document creation. I never understood why this wasn't more of part of most business processes. This is common in the engineering world. You may even want to include, "QC by Colleague McCoworker" on the document.
posted by Captain Chesapeake at 5:38 AM on May 26, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by Captain Chesapeake at 5:38 AM on May 26, 2018 [7 favorites]
There's a lot of information missing here.
What kinds of questions do you ask? In what contexts do you ask? Who are you asking? Are these things that are googleable or things you could figure out on your own, or not? Are they about things you've already been told before?
What happens because of the mistakes you make? Do you work in a field where the wrong date on a report causes problems? Do the mistakes you make mostly fall into consistent categories such that you can make a list of things to check and catch them?
And yeah, "you ask too many questions" is a strange sort of feedback - not really a sign of a boss interested in helping you learn and advance, unless it actually came with actionable advice.
posted by trig at 5:38 AM on May 26, 2018 [8 favorites]
What kinds of questions do you ask? In what contexts do you ask? Who are you asking? Are these things that are googleable or things you could figure out on your own, or not? Are they about things you've already been told before?
What happens because of the mistakes you make? Do you work in a field where the wrong date on a report causes problems? Do the mistakes you make mostly fall into consistent categories such that you can make a list of things to check and catch them?
And yeah, "you ask too many questions" is a strange sort of feedback - not really a sign of a boss interested in helping you learn and advance, unless it actually came with actionable advice.
posted by trig at 5:38 AM on May 26, 2018 [8 favorites]
If you're self analysis is accurate then depending on your industry and situation seriously begin putting out feelers for other departments or other companies. Once a perception of negativity gets into a supervisor it's unlikely to change whether real, imaginary/subconscious or intentional.
posted by sammyo at 6:19 AM on May 26, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by sammyo at 6:19 AM on May 26, 2018 [4 favorites]
You can work on the mistakes by developing check lists. For every email, memo, report, have a checklist - spelling, formatting, date, whatever. When I go through a check list, I often find other small errors.
Unless you are asking foolish questions, it's counter-productive to criticize someone for asking questions.
You probably need to market yourself better to your boss. Send a regular (every other week or so) status report, noting progress, achievements, and maybe use that to ask for information. Figure out what it takes to be more of a friend with this boss; he doesn't have great judgement or management skills.
I would also work on appearing more assertive, pushing back. Instead of if it's okay with you, can I get the results of X, try Of course, I'll need the results of X for this to have validity. Watch your language for self-deprecation; it can really lower your status in other people's eyes.
posted by theora55 at 6:25 AM on May 26, 2018 [10 favorites]
Unless you are asking foolish questions, it's counter-productive to criticize someone for asking questions.
You probably need to market yourself better to your boss. Send a regular (every other week or so) status report, noting progress, achievements, and maybe use that to ask for information. Figure out what it takes to be more of a friend with this boss; he doesn't have great judgement or management skills.
I would also work on appearing more assertive, pushing back. Instead of if it's okay with you, can I get the results of X, try Of course, I'll need the results of X for this to have validity. Watch your language for self-deprecation; it can really lower your status in other people's eyes.
posted by theora55 at 6:25 AM on May 26, 2018 [10 favorites]
That doesn't sound like very helpful feedback, so I'm in the "find another boss" camp.
But, on to the question. Here's some off-the-cuff ideas from a random internet stranger with no special avoiding-mistakes skills:
- never retype something complicated (a long URL, a hard-to-spell name...) when you could copy-and-paste it.
- if some piece of information came from someplace else, write down where it came from, so it can be verified later.
- if you have to do a calculation, do it in two completely different ways.
- always proofread.
- proofreading should always be done by somebody else. You know what you've just written, and your eyes will skip right over your own mistakes.
- if you can't find someone else, use yourself but a few days later (so you have time to forget what you wrote).
- ideally, repeat this process several times.
- I like to actually print things out for proofreading and make a checkbox in the margin next to each mistake I find. After I've made the corrections I look for each checkbox, verify that I've made the correction, and check it off.
posted by floppyroofing at 6:36 AM on May 26, 2018 [16 favorites]
But, on to the question. Here's some off-the-cuff ideas from a random internet stranger with no special avoiding-mistakes skills:
- never retype something complicated (a long URL, a hard-to-spell name...) when you could copy-and-paste it.
- if some piece of information came from someplace else, write down where it came from, so it can be verified later.
- if you have to do a calculation, do it in two completely different ways.
- always proofread.
- proofreading should always be done by somebody else. You know what you've just written, and your eyes will skip right over your own mistakes.
- if you can't find someone else, use yourself but a few days later (so you have time to forget what you wrote).
- ideally, repeat this process several times.
- I like to actually print things out for proofreading and make a checkbox in the margin next to each mistake I find. After I've made the corrections I look for each checkbox, verify that I've made the correction, and check it off.
posted by floppyroofing at 6:36 AM on May 26, 2018 [16 favorites]
It sounds like anxiety is causing your mistakes, so I'd start there. You can browse multiple questions on the green about managing anxiety at work, see your doctor about possible medication, try cardio, try meditation, try therapy, etc. In my experience nothing has helped *chronic* work-related anxiety like getting another job - but some work anxiety is situational and resolves over time.
Other thoughts:
People get frustrated with questions because either 1) they think you should know the answer or be able to figure it out on your own or just make a judgment call 2) they don't know the answer themselves and feel put on the spot 3) they are overwhelmed with their own workload 4) they just don't like being interrupted.
If you do ask questions that you could answer yourself - by reviewing your notes or internal documents, looking at examples of work by trusted team members, taking time to think it over, or doing some online research - that's the kind of thing you can take charge of in the future. Sometimes I feel I need to ask a question but it no one's available to answer it and I set it aside, I start to think of other ways I can find an answer - and often I can figure it out on my own.
As far as avoiding mistakes - addressing your anxiety is the main thing, but these things might help too:
* Complete the analysis a day or two ahead of time. Set it aside at least overnight and then come back to it the next day and read over it - you're more likely to find your mistakes this way.
* If you always use a similar format for your documents, you might be able to set it up so that some details, like today's date, are automatically pre-populated for you.
* I do a lot of writing in my work and I have a template with notes about what goes into each section, especially for things that can vary wildly - e.g. "if the subject is a widget maker, verify last year's widget production volume." It helps.
posted by bunderful at 6:59 AM on May 26, 2018 [5 favorites]
Other thoughts:
People get frustrated with questions because either 1) they think you should know the answer or be able to figure it out on your own or just make a judgment call 2) they don't know the answer themselves and feel put on the spot 3) they are overwhelmed with their own workload 4) they just don't like being interrupted.
If you do ask questions that you could answer yourself - by reviewing your notes or internal documents, looking at examples of work by trusted team members, taking time to think it over, or doing some online research - that's the kind of thing you can take charge of in the future. Sometimes I feel I need to ask a question but it no one's available to answer it and I set it aside, I start to think of other ways I can find an answer - and often I can figure it out on my own.
As far as avoiding mistakes - addressing your anxiety is the main thing, but these things might help too:
* Complete the analysis a day or two ahead of time. Set it aside at least overnight and then come back to it the next day and read over it - you're more likely to find your mistakes this way.
* If you always use a similar format for your documents, you might be able to set it up so that some details, like today's date, are automatically pre-populated for you.
* I do a lot of writing in my work and I have a template with notes about what goes into each section, especially for things that can vary wildly - e.g. "if the subject is a widget maker, verify last year's widget production volume." It helps.
posted by bunderful at 6:59 AM on May 26, 2018 [5 favorites]
Proofreading hints I've liked, print it out in a very different font, then in a different physical location work backwords line by line. All to just view the familiar out of context to short circuit the brain's cleverness.
posted by sammyo at 7:07 AM on May 26, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by sammyo at 7:07 AM on May 26, 2018 [3 favorites]
There is a common approach used in contemporary management in which managers manage by identifying who they believe is the weak link and targeting them. Everything would be fine if it weren't for __________ doing ________ all the time. A popular target for this kind of negative attention is a person who makes niggling little minor mistakes, not because said mistakes are that big a deal, but because they're easy to identify, impossible to argue with (it was the wrong date on the memo after all) and can accumulate an unwarranted feeling of importance if you just keep talking about them. This makes for a handy distraction to avoid deeper conversations about more significant failings happening elsewhere.
It means they don't like you. It is a stupid game. But it's one rigged in advance to make sure you cannot win it. Find a better job with people who value you.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:11 AM on May 26, 2018 [26 favorites]
It means they don't like you. It is a stupid game. But it's one rigged in advance to make sure you cannot win it. Find a better job with people who value you.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:11 AM on May 26, 2018 [26 favorites]
There is a significant chance that you are not getting promoted because your company had n promotion slots and n+1 people to promote, or you just haven't been their long enough or accomplished enough, but they wanted to tell you something. This is especially true if the feedback was phrased as "you are doing okay but things to work on are . . . . " as opposed to a Tough Talk.
Simple mistakes are actually very frustrating for a boss, in some ways worse than not being able to do "hard" stuff. You can coach people on hard stuff but not easy stuff. I had an employee who was pretty good but would drop the ball by reading half an e-mail then working on the wrong part of a problem, or missing simple follow up. From the boss's point of view you the need to supervise 100% of his work in great detail, as opposed to counting on him doing the easy the stuff and check in on the hard stuff. Since you don't have time to do this (and generally shouldn't micromanage in this way) you just criticize for mistakes that get released into the wild. I've noticed some people respond to the criticism by wanting everything reviewed ahead of time ("asking questions") when in fact their job is to have the judgment and skill to catch mistakes themselves. It absolutely feels unfair when you're stuck in this cycle, and it can be unfair (depending on your level, experience and type of "mistake") but can also be part of the growth curve.
It's impossible to know if that dynamic applies or how seriously your boss is bothered by it given the information you offered, let alone whether it's fair. Again, depending on the tone this could be at the level of a relative weakness (ie, not really a significant problem at all.)
Regardless I would definitely take this as feedback and address it. Even if it's minor it is what was singled out. Different things work for different people but the checklist idea mentioned above is the most systematic way. Keep a running tally of mistakes you've made before and review your work against it.
posted by mark k at 7:36 AM on May 26, 2018 [17 favorites]
Simple mistakes are actually very frustrating for a boss, in some ways worse than not being able to do "hard" stuff. You can coach people on hard stuff but not easy stuff. I had an employee who was pretty good but would drop the ball by reading half an e-mail then working on the wrong part of a problem, or missing simple follow up. From the boss's point of view you the need to supervise 100% of his work in great detail, as opposed to counting on him doing the easy the stuff and check in on the hard stuff. Since you don't have time to do this (and generally shouldn't micromanage in this way) you just criticize for mistakes that get released into the wild. I've noticed some people respond to the criticism by wanting everything reviewed ahead of time ("asking questions") when in fact their job is to have the judgment and skill to catch mistakes themselves. It absolutely feels unfair when you're stuck in this cycle, and it can be unfair (depending on your level, experience and type of "mistake") but can also be part of the growth curve.
It's impossible to know if that dynamic applies or how seriously your boss is bothered by it given the information you offered, let alone whether it's fair. Again, depending on the tone this could be at the level of a relative weakness (ie, not really a significant problem at all.)
Regardless I would definitely take this as feedback and address it. Even if it's minor it is what was singled out. Different things work for different people but the checklist idea mentioned above is the most systematic way. Keep a running tally of mistakes you've made before and review your work against it.
posted by mark k at 7:36 AM on May 26, 2018 [17 favorites]
another possibility is that you're asking questions about stuff that you ought to be checking on your own. Not saying this to attack you; I have no idea if this is what your boss is talking about. But when senior people get interrupted to be asked about stuff that the asker should have known because it was already communicated; or that is easily answered by looking in the wiki... that's frustrating and not a good look.
Putting the wrong date sounds like rushed work, and preoccupation (ironically, sounds like you were preoccupied with the analysis! Which is great! But in some cases the date thing can be a dealbreaker.) The solution is to proofread carefully and ideally to get another set of eyes on the doc; ideally eyes that aren't as closely involved as you.
All that said: it's also possible that this IS personal and that you are being scapegoated. I didn't believe, until I saw it for myself, how petty and arbitrary and cruel and blameshifty people in positions of responsibility for others' careers can be.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:41 AM on May 26, 2018 [2 favorites]
Putting the wrong date sounds like rushed work, and preoccupation (ironically, sounds like you were preoccupied with the analysis! Which is great! But in some cases the date thing can be a dealbreaker.) The solution is to proofread carefully and ideally to get another set of eyes on the doc; ideally eyes that aren't as closely involved as you.
All that said: it's also possible that this IS personal and that you are being scapegoated. I didn't believe, until I saw it for myself, how petty and arbitrary and cruel and blameshifty people in positions of responsibility for others' careers can be.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:41 AM on May 26, 2018 [2 favorites]
Update from the anonymous OP:
Thanks for the answers so far. They are all helpful. I'd like to clarify a few things:posted by LobsterMitten at 8:02 AM on May 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
I appreciate the suggestions to find a new job, and I am actively applying for other jobs, but for the purposes of this question, please assume that what I need help with now is dealing with the situation in the job I already have.
To pinpoint the problem I'm seeking help with more specifically:
- my boss is pleased overall with my work; they say my work other than these errors in detail is "excellent"
- my coworkers do not agree with my boss's assessment of the level of error in my work
- in every other role I've had (and in this role until recently) I have been regarded as very good with details--in fact, it is historically one of my greatest strengths in work environments
- despite that, I am in fact making more errors recently because of the spotlight my boss has put on my work; I didn't previously make any more errors than most people do (an impression corroborated by my coworkers)
So, in a nutshell: the increased scrutiny from my boss is making me make more errors, despite the fact that I am usually no more error prone than anyone else, and am usually quite good with details. Can you help me with strategies to return to my previous level of performance?
This conversation came as a huge surprise to me
Red flag. Your boss is not doing a very good job. This type of feedback should never come as a surprise, ever.
posted by nikaspark at 8:10 AM on May 26, 2018 [8 favorites]
Red flag. Your boss is not doing a very good job. This type of feedback should never come as a surprise, ever.
posted by nikaspark at 8:10 AM on May 26, 2018 [8 favorites]
In addition to your boss's comments causing anxiety, are there other external stressors in your life right now? Anxiety, depression, illness, lack of sleep, and many other conditions can cause cognitive difficulties with concentration. Even if it's just anxiety from your boss's comments, focusing on getting that under control will likely help with concentration.
posted by lazuli at 8:19 AM on May 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by lazuli at 8:19 AM on May 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
In a previous job i had a colleague who constantly asked questions of everone, including management. In his first three months this was ok, however he was still doing it a year later. His questions were all things he ccould, after a few months found the answer for in past reports, our online database or records. I spent a lot of time trying to teach him where to fiind the info, but he preferred to ask. As his questions generally were about facts i would also need to look up, it got to a point i was just wondering if he was trying to make me do his job, and plenty of others felt similar, especially management.
He was supposed to write reports, but could not grasp where the info was stored so relied on others to tell him instead of writing down where to look for the info.
The other type og questions were worse, as he asked management questions that came across as critical of their decisions or in some case were blatantly critical. As he had not been hired to be the devils advocat, he quickly became very unpopular with the boss.
He developed a real anxiety oh tje boss which led to small mistakes he made and which he, instead of acknowledging, blamed on stress.
While I felt in some way quite sorry for him. I think had he shown less unsolicited criticism it might have worked still. But the relationship between him and management got so strained he was fired.
So it really is an issue of what you ask, and how.
posted by 15L06 at 8:20 AM on May 26, 2018 [2 favorites]
He was supposed to write reports, but could not grasp where the info was stored so relied on others to tell him instead of writing down where to look for the info.
The other type og questions were worse, as he asked management questions that came across as critical of their decisions or in some case were blatantly critical. As he had not been hired to be the devils advocat, he quickly became very unpopular with the boss.
He developed a real anxiety oh tje boss which led to small mistakes he made and which he, instead of acknowledging, blamed on stress.
While I felt in some way quite sorry for him. I think had he shown less unsolicited criticism it might have worked still. But the relationship between him and management got so strained he was fired.
So it really is an issue of what you ask, and how.
posted by 15L06 at 8:20 AM on May 26, 2018 [2 favorites]
I put the wrong date on a memo but wrote 5 pages of excellent analysis
I am a Sr. Manager. I would not hold this over you. People are human, people make mistakes. I prefer effective communication over perfect pedantry, which it sounds like you are able to do that if you can write 5 pages of excellent analysis. I would gently push back on your manager in writing and ask them to establish what the expectations of your role are and how you will be measured.
If you are to be measured more by getting all the small details "just-so" and less on effective analysis, then you need to make a checklist of all the just so details your manager expects of you, and refer to the checklist before hitting send or submit on anything, and spend less time writing pages and pages of analysis. You're basically in a place where you have to manage your cognitive resources to align with what your manager expects.
Me personally, I would not ding you on something like getting a date wrong. And I don't think I would very much enjoy working with people who bust my chops over it. I would politely ask them to fix it and hit resend. It's not really that big of a deal unless your job is dealing with multimillion dollar multiparty legal contracts and MSA agreements, but even then so what, I've seen terrible spelling and grammatical errors on legal documents representing tens of millions of dollars of contentious legal wrangling and redlining. We just asked for the errors to be fixed and chuckled about it.
posted by nikaspark at 8:21 AM on May 26, 2018
I am a Sr. Manager. I would not hold this over you. People are human, people make mistakes. I prefer effective communication over perfect pedantry, which it sounds like you are able to do that if you can write 5 pages of excellent analysis. I would gently push back on your manager in writing and ask them to establish what the expectations of your role are and how you will be measured.
If you are to be measured more by getting all the small details "just-so" and less on effective analysis, then you need to make a checklist of all the just so details your manager expects of you, and refer to the checklist before hitting send or submit on anything, and spend less time writing pages and pages of analysis. You're basically in a place where you have to manage your cognitive resources to align with what your manager expects.
Me personally, I would not ding you on something like getting a date wrong. And I don't think I would very much enjoy working with people who bust my chops over it. I would politely ask them to fix it and hit resend. It's not really that big of a deal unless your job is dealing with multimillion dollar multiparty legal contracts and MSA agreements, but even then so what, I've seen terrible spelling and grammatical errors on legal documents representing tens of millions of dollars of contentious legal wrangling and redlining. We just asked for the errors to be fixed and chuckled about it.
posted by nikaspark at 8:21 AM on May 26, 2018
I put the wrong date on a memo but
the only time I've been outright fired from a job was for something this simple, and to my mind, frivolous. But obviously, my boss thought otherwise. Either because he was just that anal (because it's not as if we were designing missile systems), or more likely, he decided he didn't like me and he was looking for an excuse, any excuse.
Either way, I can't help but feel I was way better off out of that place even though it hurt like hell at the time.
Or as DirtyOldTown put it:
It is a stupid game. But it's one rigged in advance to make sure you cannot win it. Find a better job with people who value you.
posted by philip-random at 8:26 AM on May 26, 2018 [2 favorites]
the only time I've been outright fired from a job was for something this simple, and to my mind, frivolous. But obviously, my boss thought otherwise. Either because he was just that anal (because it's not as if we were designing missile systems), or more likely, he decided he didn't like me and he was looking for an excuse, any excuse.
Either way, I can't help but feel I was way better off out of that place even though it hurt like hell at the time.
Or as DirtyOldTown put it:
It is a stupid game. But it's one rigged in advance to make sure you cannot win it. Find a better job with people who value you.
posted by philip-random at 8:26 AM on May 26, 2018 [2 favorites]
the increased scrutiny from my boss is making me make more errors
In management talk, this means you don’t work well under pressure.
The Internet is full of advice about coping with stress.
posted by Kwadeng at 8:46 AM on May 26, 2018 [2 favorites]
In management talk, this means you don’t work well under pressure.
The Internet is full of advice about coping with stress.
posted by Kwadeng at 8:46 AM on May 26, 2018 [2 favorites]
That’s called not paying attention to details*
Nooooooot necessarily. I don't think this person is a Biglaw junior associate, but I was one once, working for a partner who was obsessed with having everything executed absolutely perfectly. This was not as wildly inappropriate as it would be in other settings--people were paying our very well-regarded firm a great deal of money to produce documents for a very formal setting that could make or break large businesses. It was still, however, well beyond reasonable, as consistently perfect execution across multiple high-stress projects with tight deadines is simply not possible. To come even close, as we did, requires investing a lot of resources in the perfection itself. Everything was proofread and revised multiple times, by at least one, often more, other person. We had an entire formal process for confirming that every fact and every legal assertion in the document was accurate, meaning that the more important projects, like briefs, had to be in draft-finished form a full couple days ahead of time. People worked practically round-the-clock on these projects. And yet, if the partner had decided to justify firing me by accumulating a small list of errors I'd made, he could easily have done so. Line-by-line perfection, day in, day out, is not possible for a human being, and mostly not possible for a whole well-supported team.
OP, here are some things I learned to do to cut down on corrections: (a) checklists; (b) meticulous labeling and cross-referencing of underlying documents, carefully naming each folder to reflect its role in the process; (c) multiple proofreadings (though for this really to count you need at least one other person doing them); (d) reading my documents in multiple mediums (screen and print-out); (e) never sending a document attached to an email without opening the attachment to review it and be sure it was the correct version of the document; (f) precise dating of drafts in filenames; (g) if working on a process that required several transformations of a document, making a separate storage place for each step in the process, and not commingling, resulting in one final folder where only the actual "production" went; (h) not making "messy, good enough" versions of documents from which errors might descend; (i) being constantly aware of places that things might get mixed-up or misunderstood, especially if another person was working on the project; (j) minimizing the use of techniques that stood a good chance of introducing error or confusion; (k) using templates, but with sections that would require updating in each version (e.g., the date!) highlighted in yellow or otherwise visually marked--otherwise, your eyes slide right over them; (l) redoing calculations multiple times, trying to figure out tests that would get the wrong results if the underlying data was wrong...
These may help. But if your boss has decided you're the problem, I agree with people above who say you should be looking for another job.
posted by praemunire at 9:09 AM on May 26, 2018 [18 favorites]
Nooooooot necessarily. I don't think this person is a Biglaw junior associate, but I was one once, working for a partner who was obsessed with having everything executed absolutely perfectly. This was not as wildly inappropriate as it would be in other settings--people were paying our very well-regarded firm a great deal of money to produce documents for a very formal setting that could make or break large businesses. It was still, however, well beyond reasonable, as consistently perfect execution across multiple high-stress projects with tight deadines is simply not possible. To come even close, as we did, requires investing a lot of resources in the perfection itself. Everything was proofread and revised multiple times, by at least one, often more, other person. We had an entire formal process for confirming that every fact and every legal assertion in the document was accurate, meaning that the more important projects, like briefs, had to be in draft-finished form a full couple days ahead of time. People worked practically round-the-clock on these projects. And yet, if the partner had decided to justify firing me by accumulating a small list of errors I'd made, he could easily have done so. Line-by-line perfection, day in, day out, is not possible for a human being, and mostly not possible for a whole well-supported team.
OP, here are some things I learned to do to cut down on corrections: (a) checklists; (b) meticulous labeling and cross-referencing of underlying documents, carefully naming each folder to reflect its role in the process; (c) multiple proofreadings (though for this really to count you need at least one other person doing them); (d) reading my documents in multiple mediums (screen and print-out); (e) never sending a document attached to an email without opening the attachment to review it and be sure it was the correct version of the document; (f) precise dating of drafts in filenames; (g) if working on a process that required several transformations of a document, making a separate storage place for each step in the process, and not commingling, resulting in one final folder where only the actual "production" went; (h) not making "messy, good enough" versions of documents from which errors might descend; (i) being constantly aware of places that things might get mixed-up or misunderstood, especially if another person was working on the project; (j) minimizing the use of techniques that stood a good chance of introducing error or confusion; (k) using templates, but with sections that would require updating in each version (e.g., the date!) highlighted in yellow or otherwise visually marked--otherwise, your eyes slide right over them; (l) redoing calculations multiple times, trying to figure out tests that would get the wrong results if the underlying data was wrong...
These may help. But if your boss has decided you're the problem, I agree with people above who say you should be looking for another job.
posted by praemunire at 9:09 AM on May 26, 2018 [18 favorites]
Apart from the mistakes/working under pressure thing, for which you have lots of suggestions I’d encourage you to reflect on the questions piece a bit as suggested by 15L06.
I’m in a position where I get asked a lot of questions. Happy to sit with a jr person a few times to help them learn the process of how we find information we need to solve a problem.
But after a while I would expect them to do those things before asking me for help and to start to ask more specific questions based on taking those steps. At the next stage I’d expect them to start to suggest a solution. Then we work through the other aspects that need to be considered and refine that suggestion as required. And at some point they’ll start to propose appropriate solutions and I’ll sign off on those and just send them off to execute those solutions.
My point is that we all should be asking questions but that the questions should evolve as you progress. If they don’t that is a problem if you want to progress or even just be considered good at your job. So if there is a chance that your questions are not evolving your boss may have a point, albeit a poorly communicated one.
posted by koahiatamadl at 9:16 AM on May 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
I’m in a position where I get asked a lot of questions. Happy to sit with a jr person a few times to help them learn the process of how we find information we need to solve a problem.
But after a while I would expect them to do those things before asking me for help and to start to ask more specific questions based on taking those steps. At the next stage I’d expect them to start to suggest a solution. Then we work through the other aspects that need to be considered and refine that suggestion as required. And at some point they’ll start to propose appropriate solutions and I’ll sign off on those and just send them off to execute those solutions.
My point is that we all should be asking questions but that the questions should evolve as you progress. If they don’t that is a problem if you want to progress or even just be considered good at your job. So if there is a chance that your questions are not evolving your boss may have a point, albeit a poorly communicated one.
posted by koahiatamadl at 9:16 AM on May 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
Nthing that checklists sound like it may be a good short-term solution for you. I'm classically not very detailed oriented and have taught myself to rely on a checklist before any deliverable goes out the door (email, memo, report etc.). I read an excellent book a couple years ago called the Checklist Manifesto, which basically argues that using well-designed checklists can free up anxiety and your cognitive functions for your high value work. I have a couple checklists I'm using in my current job I'm happy to share if you think it would help (memail me). I should noted that I don't use them as make-work paperwork exercises like I have to do for government submissions in my job - they take 30 seconds - 1 minute and are short!
posted by snowysoul at 9:37 AM on May 26, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by snowysoul at 9:37 AM on May 26, 2018 [4 favorites]
I think you're making all these little mistakes to preserve the vestiges of your 'just world hypothesis' in the realm of your work life.
Because if you weren't making mistakes, then your boss is lying and making excuses about why you didn't get that promotion, and that would mean you're not as valued as you thought, you can't count on what your boss says and they are incompetent -- and probably lack integrity as well. All of which would be very threatening and make your day to day existence at your job much harder to bear.
To break the cycle I think you could crank up all your external to work support systems, then turn around and face what your boss is really like, gauge as best you can what you're future there is likely to be, and proceed accordingly.
posted by jamjam at 10:26 AM on May 26, 2018 [5 favorites]
Because if you weren't making mistakes, then your boss is lying and making excuses about why you didn't get that promotion, and that would mean you're not as valued as you thought, you can't count on what your boss says and they are incompetent -- and probably lack integrity as well. All of which would be very threatening and make your day to day existence at your job much harder to bear.
To break the cycle I think you could crank up all your external to work support systems, then turn around and face what your boss is really like, gauge as best you can what you're future there is likely to be, and proceed accordingly.
posted by jamjam at 10:26 AM on May 26, 2018 [5 favorites]
A lot of people have mentioned anxiety, but I do not see any anxiety expressed in your post nor do I believe that an analysis of cognitive rational thought process, from start to end, involves anxiety at all to begin with.
If your boss is choosing to focus on your errors, and dismiss your sucessees, and if those are within the realm of normal human production and error, then it reasons that, you would then be less able to yourself, focus upon your "correct" output and more apt to focus on your concern of error. By all reason, this would make one less able to execute independent judgment calls and more likely to ask questions to confirm the validity of correct/incorrect action, before proceeding with it.
This is referred to, or under, many terms including, no-win situations, confirmation bias, setting up for failure, sabotage, relating to the concept of confidence, perpetuation, nitpicking, etc.
As to what you can personally do about it, make no further inquiries to your boss other than what is the acceptable margin of error permitted for output, take your analysis aptitude towards ensuring your own work output falls within those marks, and start looking for a new job if and when you are accomplishing under those stated terms, and your boss is still being unreasonable about your human inability towards absolute perfection.
posted by OnefortheLast at 12:27 PM on May 26, 2018
If your boss is choosing to focus on your errors, and dismiss your sucessees, and if those are within the realm of normal human production and error, then it reasons that, you would then be less able to yourself, focus upon your "correct" output and more apt to focus on your concern of error. By all reason, this would make one less able to execute independent judgment calls and more likely to ask questions to confirm the validity of correct/incorrect action, before proceeding with it.
This is referred to, or under, many terms including, no-win situations, confirmation bias, setting up for failure, sabotage, relating to the concept of confidence, perpetuation, nitpicking, etc.
As to what you can personally do about it, make no further inquiries to your boss other than what is the acceptable margin of error permitted for output, take your analysis aptitude towards ensuring your own work output falls within those marks, and start looking for a new job if and when you are accomplishing under those stated terms, and your boss is still being unreasonable about your human inability towards absolute perfection.
posted by OnefortheLast at 12:27 PM on May 26, 2018
The way I see it is:
He is in a leadership position in relation to your position. This means 1. He provides instruction, directions, guidance etc.
Ie. 1. You are told what to do, then 2. you do it.
He is expressing a dissatisfaction on 3. The feedback.
You then 4. Take into consideration, as applicable by your roles, his feedback, at the end of this chain of executed events.
Ie. He further/ or the cycle of roles returns to 1. Identifies your "job" or focus.
Ie. Your errors.
You then 2. Inquire as to how to accomplish this or make improvement or avoid errors, or negative feedback, because you want to accomplish both of your goals in doing your job correctly.
Your boss then fails to himself adhere to his manager/leadership role at this point, and places it on you to figure out, or guess, as to how to accomplish what he is wanting, as he is now only telling you what he is not wanting.
This could either be
A. A cognitive dissonance in his part, or
B. A "test" of your ability to execute your own mananger/leadership abilities.
If it is a. There is little you can do. If it is b. Then you may possibly know what is expected of you.
However, having to guess which it is, sets you up for another potential series and sucessions of errors, if you proceed with the incorrect or wrong option. However again, risk or initiative taking is part of the process in career advancement/promotion.
Honestly, I'd be as confused as you at this scenario, but by your post description our minds work alike, so if this is not helpful, it is at least relatable.
posted by OnefortheLast at 1:09 PM on May 26, 2018
He is in a leadership position in relation to your position. This means 1. He provides instruction, directions, guidance etc.
Ie. 1. You are told what to do, then 2. you do it.
He is expressing a dissatisfaction on 3. The feedback.
You then 4. Take into consideration, as applicable by your roles, his feedback, at the end of this chain of executed events.
Ie. He further/ or the cycle of roles returns to 1. Identifies your "job" or focus.
Ie. Your errors.
You then 2. Inquire as to how to accomplish this or make improvement or avoid errors, or negative feedback, because you want to accomplish both of your goals in doing your job correctly.
Your boss then fails to himself adhere to his manager/leadership role at this point, and places it on you to figure out, or guess, as to how to accomplish what he is wanting, as he is now only telling you what he is not wanting.
This could either be
A. A cognitive dissonance in his part, or
B. A "test" of your ability to execute your own mananger/leadership abilities.
If it is a. There is little you can do. If it is b. Then you may possibly know what is expected of you.
However, having to guess which it is, sets you up for another potential series and sucessions of errors, if you proceed with the incorrect or wrong option. However again, risk or initiative taking is part of the process in career advancement/promotion.
Honestly, I'd be as confused as you at this scenario, but by your post description our minds work alike, so if this is not helpful, it is at least relatable.
posted by OnefortheLast at 1:09 PM on May 26, 2018
- my coworkers do not agree with my boss's assessment
Your coworkers' opinions are irrelevant; the energy you've spent solicitating their opinions would be better spent asking them what processes they use to avoid minor mistakes and/or asking them to proof your work.
- in every other role I've had (and in this role until recently)
Your work history got you an interview; beyond that it is at best irrelevant, and at worst a reason for your supervisors to wonder why they're not getting the same quality of work from you in this job.
- despite that, I am in fact making more errors recently because of the spotlight my boss has put on my work
Your errors are not your boss's fault.
-- I didn't previously make any more errors than most people do (an impression corroborated by my coworkers)
You have no way of knowing that; your coworkers' irrelevant opinions are subjective.
Can you help me with strategies to return to my previous level of performance?
Stop blaming others. Stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on improving your draft-review-revise-proof-finalize process.
posted by headnsouth at 1:14 PM on May 26, 2018 [2 favorites]
Your coworkers' opinions are irrelevant; the energy you've spent solicitating their opinions would be better spent asking them what processes they use to avoid minor mistakes and/or asking them to proof your work.
- in every other role I've had (and in this role until recently)
Your work history got you an interview; beyond that it is at best irrelevant, and at worst a reason for your supervisors to wonder why they're not getting the same quality of work from you in this job.
- despite that, I am in fact making more errors recently because of the spotlight my boss has put on my work
Your errors are not your boss's fault.
-- I didn't previously make any more errors than most people do (an impression corroborated by my coworkers)
You have no way of knowing that; your coworkers' irrelevant opinions are subjective.
Can you help me with strategies to return to my previous level of performance?
Stop blaming others. Stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on improving your draft-review-revise-proof-finalize process.
posted by headnsouth at 1:14 PM on May 26, 2018 [2 favorites]
Stop blaming others. Stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on improving your draft-review-revise-proof-finalize process.
One one hand, this point of view is entirely correct, accurate and true.
However, in relation to the OP inquiring as to how to avoid asking the boss questions, aka his feedback/concerns, they are instead seeking out other means, resources, opinions and input to correct this error.
So is it simply Lose/lose? Or is there another option available for the OP to learn what is expected and required of them at their job?
posted by OnefortheLast at 1:55 PM on May 26, 2018
Did your boss tell you explicitly (within the last several months) that you were in line for the promotion?
If so: feedback of the sort they gave you, especially surprise feedback, is called "whipsawing". It's likely BS to cover the fact that they just don't want to have to pay you any more for what you're already doing. They found one thing they could honestly pick at you for and doubled down. It's already having the (probably expected) effect of a self-fulfilling prophecy on you.
If not: the surprise feedback is, as others have already suggested, a red flag that they're not a good manager.
A lot of people in the corporate world don't operate at a high ethical level. Remember the good feedback from others and look around for better opportunities.
posted by Sheydem-tants at 2:29 PM on May 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
If so: feedback of the sort they gave you, especially surprise feedback, is called "whipsawing". It's likely BS to cover the fact that they just don't want to have to pay you any more for what you're already doing. They found one thing they could honestly pick at you for and doubled down. It's already having the (probably expected) effect of a self-fulfilling prophecy on you.
If not: the surprise feedback is, as others have already suggested, a red flag that they're not a good manager.
A lot of people in the corporate world don't operate at a high ethical level. Remember the good feedback from others and look around for better opportunities.
posted by Sheydem-tants at 2:29 PM on May 26, 2018 [1 favorite]
Add every spell-check, grammar-check and proofreading tool to your word-processor that you can. I'm almost positive that Word and Open Office have an option that will auto-populate the dates on documents with the current day.
In terms of your boss' feedback, do you have bi-weekly one-on-ones with him? Even just a half-hour every other week can be really helpful. It's a chance to get feedback more frequently so it doesn't come as a surprise and to work together to find answers to your questions and his suggestions for improvement.
Initiating these meetings will also demonstrate your willingness to "improve" - not that it sounds to me like you need to - but I think there's value in showing your boss that you hear his concerns and want to work to mitigate them.
posted by bendy at 2:59 PM on May 26, 2018
In terms of your boss' feedback, do you have bi-weekly one-on-ones with him? Even just a half-hour every other week can be really helpful. It's a chance to get feedback more frequently so it doesn't come as a surprise and to work together to find answers to your questions and his suggestions for improvement.
Initiating these meetings will also demonstrate your willingness to "improve" - not that it sounds to me like you need to - but I think there's value in showing your boss that you hear his concerns and want to work to mitigate them.
posted by bendy at 2:59 PM on May 26, 2018
My personal best guess is that your boss does not want to have to explain or admit to that equal opportunity isn't available to you at this job. Likely you are performing fully sufficiently, as you have not been fired or put up for official review, and he would like to undermine your confidence in your abilities so that you'll, 1. Take on personal blame for the invisible/impossible situation, 2. Hold on harder to your current position at this company, 3. Make less or no demands, 4. Stop questioning authority, networking with peers, and acquiring new skills that would benefit you personally, and 5. Strive to work harder and better at your job, for the same pay and position, for an expected or implied reward that doesnt actually exist for you.
posted by OnefortheLast at 3:22 PM on May 26, 2018
posted by OnefortheLast at 3:22 PM on May 26, 2018
I'm really sorry about this. Mostly because it sounds like your boss is not that great at giving feedback or developing their staff's abilities. Even if you do ask too many questions and make too many mistakes, this is an awful way for your manager to handle it. They should have talked with you about it before it got to the point of not giving you a promotion, and they should have been working with you to improve, rather than just saying "you ask too many questions and make too many mistakes, good luck with that!"
That said, your boss' analysis may not be wrong. Asking questions is good, but if people who have been their role for more than 6 months are asking really basic questions, or asking questions over and over again, that's a red flag. As for the small mistakes, for some bosses that becomes a trust issue. They feel that if they can't trust you on the small stuff, then they can't trust you on the big stuff. I'm not personally like that as a boss, but it is a thing. Also a thing: employees thinking small mistakes are less of a big deal than they are.
As a manager I have had staff members that made too many mistakes and asked too many questions. It's either been that they are just still learning the role or that they lack confidence in the role, both of which would be flags for me that the person is not ready for a promotion. Not that they aren't valuable or talented but just: not ready for the next level. Is it possible that you are just not quite seasoned in your role enough to move up to the next level?
I once had to deny someone a promotion who I really liked working with and thought was talented, but he just wasn't ready. He actually did make too many small mistakes and asked too many basic questions. It made it harder for staff to work with he (because someone would always have to double-check his work and spend time talking him through stuff he should have known), and he just wasn't ready for more responsibility. He still had to get solid on the responsibilities he had.
I would view this as an opportunity to grow. Is there someone else on your team that you could trust to talk about this with? Someone who knows your work and would tell you honestly what their perspective is on this? If not, maybe just go to your boss and say something like "I love working here and I do want to grow at this company. Can we talk about a plan for me to get there?" Really find out what they are looking for in someone who has the role you wanted, and work with them to get there.
Now, this may not work out. Maybe your boss just doesn't like you (it happens). Maybe your boss just won't be willing to help you advance. But I'd give it a good six months, try to do what your boss is asking for, and see what happens. It can be really, incredibly powerful to be able to take feedback and use it to become better at your job.
posted by lunasol at 3:32 PM on May 26, 2018 [5 favorites]
That said, your boss' analysis may not be wrong. Asking questions is good, but if people who have been their role for more than 6 months are asking really basic questions, or asking questions over and over again, that's a red flag. As for the small mistakes, for some bosses that becomes a trust issue. They feel that if they can't trust you on the small stuff, then they can't trust you on the big stuff. I'm not personally like that as a boss, but it is a thing. Also a thing: employees thinking small mistakes are less of a big deal than they are.
As a manager I have had staff members that made too many mistakes and asked too many questions. It's either been that they are just still learning the role or that they lack confidence in the role, both of which would be flags for me that the person is not ready for a promotion. Not that they aren't valuable or talented but just: not ready for the next level. Is it possible that you are just not quite seasoned in your role enough to move up to the next level?
I once had to deny someone a promotion who I really liked working with and thought was talented, but he just wasn't ready. He actually did make too many small mistakes and asked too many basic questions. It made it harder for staff to work with he (because someone would always have to double-check his work and spend time talking him through stuff he should have known), and he just wasn't ready for more responsibility. He still had to get solid on the responsibilities he had.
I would view this as an opportunity to grow. Is there someone else on your team that you could trust to talk about this with? Someone who knows your work and would tell you honestly what their perspective is on this? If not, maybe just go to your boss and say something like "I love working here and I do want to grow at this company. Can we talk about a plan for me to get there?" Really find out what they are looking for in someone who has the role you wanted, and work with them to get there.
Now, this may not work out. Maybe your boss just doesn't like you (it happens). Maybe your boss just won't be willing to help you advance. But I'd give it a good six months, try to do what your boss is asking for, and see what happens. It can be really, incredibly powerful to be able to take feedback and use it to become better at your job.
posted by lunasol at 3:32 PM on May 26, 2018 [5 favorites]
There are some great suggestions in this thread, but there's one other trick that I use that I don't see mentioned yet. I work ahead. If I have to bring documents to a meeting in two weeks, I make the documents well in advance. Then I can review them at a later date, instead of doing the proofreading while I'm under pressure. I have a colleague who has been critiqued for their attention to detail, and one thing I noticed is that they always do things in what would seem like a reasonable time to do them, rather than further in advance. They always catch their mistakes, like a wrong date or missing page numbers, right before they have to present, and there's not enough time to fix the errors. Fixing mistakes often means you need to allot yourself enough time to do the job twice, or at least to duplicate the production portion of the task.
posted by tofu_crouton at 5:17 PM on May 26, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by tofu_crouton at 5:17 PM on May 26, 2018 [4 favorites]
As someone progresses up the career ladder, you can expect to see marked levels of increasing competency. E.g., Junior = learner, asks questions, gets the simple stuff right. Intermediate = effectively handles the basics of the job, few mistakes, works with minimal guidance. Senior = mastery of complex aspects of the job, works independently, takes initiative. Lead = subject matter expert, mentors others, oversees the work of the team. Your boss is saying you're not yet exhibiting the characteristics she expects of the next higher level. Holding to these standards is good management, not bad.
Ditto on the error-reduction tactics suggested by others. Learn to do good work reliably and you will grow into the job level you seek.
posted by mama penguin at 4:21 AM on May 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
Ditto on the error-reduction tactics suggested by others. Learn to do good work reliably and you will grow into the job level you seek.
posted by mama penguin at 4:21 AM on May 27, 2018 [2 favorites]
I have been in a position like this where I made a few too many basic mistakes and felt really surprised and angry by negative feedback. Overall, you may need a different boss who is a better leader or you may need to go to a place that is a better fit. Please note:
1. Ideally, employees aren't stunned by most of what they hear at any feedback meeting. Surprising people after a problem occurred, instead of speaking to them when the problem occurred or is about to happen means there is some miscommunication.
2. Assume the people you work with are passive aggressive, don't like direct confrontation, and then carefully try to get tips that will help your work. They aren't being mean, they are being protective of their job and reputation. Identify who is the least passive aggressive and is good at the research/communication skills you're developing. If you're a writer, say something like "when I try to research this Microsoft Word software issue, I get bogged down googling the answer. What sites do you recommend?"
3. Identify the reference books or sites in your position and keep them at hand at work and at home. You will need to do your own research to get better. When I got bad feedback, I started dedicating time to researching things in specific software guides, like I was studying the software as a school subject. I knew I was getting better when I could answer more experienced people's questions and help them avoid problems. I felt proud of myself and people complimented my knowledge.
posted by Freecola at 7:18 AM on May 27, 2018
1. Ideally, employees aren't stunned by most of what they hear at any feedback meeting. Surprising people after a problem occurred, instead of speaking to them when the problem occurred or is about to happen means there is some miscommunication.
2. Assume the people you work with are passive aggressive, don't like direct confrontation, and then carefully try to get tips that will help your work. They aren't being mean, they are being protective of their job and reputation. Identify who is the least passive aggressive and is good at the research/communication skills you're developing. If you're a writer, say something like "when I try to research this Microsoft Word software issue, I get bogged down googling the answer. What sites do you recommend?"
3. Identify the reference books or sites in your position and keep them at hand at work and at home. You will need to do your own research to get better. When I got bad feedback, I started dedicating time to researching things in specific software guides, like I was studying the software as a school subject. I knew I was getting better when I could answer more experienced people's questions and help them avoid problems. I felt proud of myself and people complimented my knowledge.
posted by Freecola at 7:18 AM on May 27, 2018
trying to reduce the number of questions I ask, which means...way more mistakes
I would suggest that making fewer mistakes should be your priority - focus on that.
If you need to ask a question, then do so, assuming you're not doing the following:
* Asking trivial questions
* Asking for the same information repeatedly
* Using others for stuff you should be able to think through yourself
Write down answers you get if a situation is likely to recur & refer to your notes before asking again.
Bottom line is that being prone to mistakes is a more serious failing than asking 'too many questions'.
posted by HiroProtagonist at 7:50 PM on May 27, 2018
I would suggest that making fewer mistakes should be your priority - focus on that.
If you need to ask a question, then do so, assuming you're not doing the following:
* Asking trivial questions
* Asking for the same information repeatedly
* Using others for stuff you should be able to think through yourself
Write down answers you get if a situation is likely to recur & refer to your notes before asking again.
Bottom line is that being prone to mistakes is a more serious failing than asking 'too many questions'.
posted by HiroProtagonist at 7:50 PM on May 27, 2018
This thread is closed to new comments.
However, in case I am wrong, is there someone in the office you trust who you can ask for feedback about whether you are asking too many questions? Or viewed somehow as a liability? Someone you know and like as a person who you think would tell you the truth. If there isn't someone like that, do you have someone who has worked with you in the past who you can trust to ask for feedback? I think you need to get a good grip on where you really are, rather than what your boss says you are.
Regarding silly stressed out mistakes-- the example you give about the wrong date isn't something asking a question would have fixed. This sounds like a stress mistake. Is the cycle really worse because you can't ask questions, or is it worse because you're frightened of the feedback you've received? If the second, you need to find a way to care less about the criticism you received. But I know from experience that getting that kind of criticism from a boss can really cause serious anxiety-- do you have a way in general of soothing your own anxiety? Can you employ any of those methods here?
Frankly-- as a manager, I find feedback of the kind you describe really suspect. It's not constructive or helpful and it seems to be mean and belittling. I would be looking for another job. Good luck.
posted by frumiousb at 2:02 AM on May 26, 2018 [44 favorites]