Quit a bad habit forever

May 19, 2018 12:22 AM

I have a bad habit I am desperate to get rid of before I go bald. What's something I can do, without maiming myself or looking ridiculous at work, so I'll never itch my head again?

It doesn't have to be an instantly applied solution. If I need to take time off work, I'll do it. I want to be done touching my head when I come back. I don't know why do it. It might be related to stress, but I've itched my head since I was a child. I'm a man with short hair in the US in a casual office environment, if it helps.

posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (12 answers total)

Perhaps the best way to do this is to change your neuro-associative patterns around scratching your head. At the moment, you probably subconsciously associate the action with comfort or something similar: as you rightly say, it becomes a stress reliever. If you teach yourself to associate pain or loss with the action, you should be able to stop doing it fairly easily.

One exercise you can try is called the Dickens pattern. In it, you will try to associate as much pain as possible with the action you want to change. What does constantly scratching your head cost you? How will you feel in five years, in ten years, if you're still doing it? Who will think less of you because of it, what will you miss out on? There's a Tony Robbins video you can use to guide you through this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FbjyAYP0kA. The key is to not hold back. Usually we try to avoid emotional pain, but this time you want to ratchet up the emotional pain you feel, ideally while actually performing the action.

You can also use this kind of emotional leverage in the opposite direction: how will it feel when you haven't scratched for an hour? For a whole day? For a year? Celebrate those milestones, ideally in a public and social way (we're social creatures and the approval of the tribe is crucial). Your subconscious will start to link the action to pain and not performing the action to enormous pleasure.

Another way to break it is through replacement: "I don't do this any more, instead I do that." Obviously you have to be careful - don't start smoking excessively just to stop scratching your head! The replacement doesn't have to be an action, it can be a thought or an idea. A friend of mine had tremendous success ceasing fingernail biting because she decided that the kind of person she wanted to be - a leader, an influencer, a role model - wouldn't bite their nails. So every time she went to perform the action, she would remember that it would take her away from who she wanted to be. NOT biting her nails stopped being a denial of pleasure, which it had previously been, and became an INVESTMENT in her future ideal self. The comfort of biting was swapped for the pleasure of personal growth.

In terms of resources, it might be worth looking at tips for quitting smoking as there may be some ideas you can adapt for your situation.

Finally, be mindful of how you react to failure. You may have good days and bad days on this journey, but you absolutely can do it. One bad day or one step backwards doesn't mean you can't do it, it just means your subconscious needs more coaxing. Once you have achieved this, you will have a road map for change that you will be able to use in many areas of your life.
posted by matthew.alexander at 1:26 AM on May 19, 2018 [2 favorites]

It's not a whole solution but could be a tool for you.

This is gonna sound so weird but I have had success breaking distressing habits by interrupting the compulsion with a viscerally powerful thought. Over my life there have been 2 or 3 phenomenally disgusting (accidental of course) run-ins with dog poo or phlegm. I almost gag just thinking about. These encounters were so gross that the memories are as fresh as the days they happened.

It takes no effort, reasoning or will power to conjure the memory and it can stop me dead in my tracks. The revulsion is stronger than the compulsion. This has been a life-changing tactic for me. So I guess it is like aversion therapy?

Good luck, I'm cheering for you!
posted by i_mean_come_on_now at 4:01 AM on May 19, 2018 [1 favorite]

If I'm reading this correctly, the reason you want to stop itching your head is not because you are doing it in embarrassing situations or doing it continuously for long periods of time but because when you itch your head your hair falls out and you think that that is causing you to go bald.

In actuality however those hairs were going to fall out anyways, and some recent research suggests that massaging your skull and even pulling out hair could be good for hair thickness and hair growth.

How to massage your scalp for thicker hair

Plucking hair can cause hair regrowth

I've had lots of hair falling out in my fingers whenever I ran my fingers through my hair since I was fourteen or younger, my father is completely bald, and I still have an (almost) full head of hair at about 40 years of age. I regularly itch my head and pull on my hair (some of which then comes out in my fingers), and have been doing so since I was 14 or so.
posted by GregorWill at 5:12 AM on May 19, 2018 [1 favorite]

Also, when I do regularly self massage my head either in the morning or in the evening, the head is not as itchy during the day and I feel less compulsion to itch it during the work day. So consider adding an intense scalp self massage to your self-care routine in the morning or he evening, and stop worrying about the hair that falls out when you do so.
posted by GregorWill at 5:17 AM on May 19, 2018 [1 favorite]

I am having hard time gauging exactly what you mean by itching (is your scalp actually itchy? or by itching do you just mean scratching?) but are you aware that trichotillomania and dermatillomania are legit disorders (often related to stress) that can be treated with behavioral therapy and medication?

Go see a doctor. You don't have to try to power through this on your own.
posted by yeahlikethat at 8:02 AM on May 19, 2018 [8 favorites]

Yes, there's nothing wrong with checking in with a doctor if this is at all tied to your hair loss. Often it's genetics - even if you're young. And they may be able to help if this is more of a disordered action.

That said, when I've broken a bad habit was to stop it in the process and replace it with something positive. I used to bite my nails. So when I went to bite my nails I stopped (sometimes literally saying "stop") and grabbing my nail clippers or nail file to take care of the issue and redirecting my hands to something useful. (I played with a lot of silly putty and did crochet or drawing or something.) I still have to stop myself from picking at my nails occasionally but I keep a file and clippers in my side drawer.

You can also try slow steps like using your knuckle or palm instead of finger tips and going from there.
posted by Crystalinne at 10:20 AM on May 19, 2018 [2 favorites]

I have an OCD-spectrum disorder similar to trichotillomania, and I've gotten a lot of assistance from N-A-C supplementation. I take one capsule in the morning on an empty stomach with orange juice or a vitamin C tablet. The behavior started to feel less rewarding within a few days, and my urge to engage in it substantially lessened within a couple of weeks.
posted by timeo danaos at 12:21 PM on May 19, 2018 [5 favorites]

Please see a doctor (who might have to refer you to a derm), to rule out any scalp or physical conditions which could be causing you to scratch so much. If everything checks out (no psoriasis, yeast or other infections, vitamin deficiencies, etc.), talk to your doc about your options to combat your compulsive scratching. For instance, you can pair learning new behaviors with medications to help you through the period of transition.
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:51 PM on May 19, 2018 [1 favorite]

Seconding the supplement NAC. I have a couple of friends with Trichotillomania, and it has been revolutionary for both of them.
posted by thegreatfleecircus at 9:54 PM on May 19, 2018

I am reading SuperBetter by Jane McGonigal, and she mentions using gaming as a way of distracting yourself from bad habits like smoking. You could try reading up on this and see if you can apply it to your situation?
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:10 PM on May 19, 2018

Shampoo bars?
I have just started using them so it's personal experience, but the J. R. Liggett's moisturizing formula and a mild apple cider vinegar rinse (do not wash out) are my current favorites.
Do some research about "transition" and "purging" to see the short-term reactions to better shampooing without chemistry. And hard water means more rinsing to remove product.
I have used cheap conditioner a couple of times before the ACV rinse but now it's not needed.

I have some sample bars of Chagrin Valley shampoo bars in the mail and I'm excited about them. The website helps narrow down which formulas are better for different scalp and hair conditions.

I am not a dermatologist or chemist, but it's possible that natural shampoo bars (not Lush) may relieve any physical symptoms that are triggering the itchy scalp.

I am a mom -- I used gloves and nasty-tasting liquids on my children's thumbs or pacifiers when it was time to stop putting them in their mouths. Would gloves work? A fidget cube? A fresh coat of nail polish? A light hand weight for arm exercises? A soft, squeezable hacky sack?
posted by TrishaU at 11:36 PM on May 19, 2018

Hi, OP! I hope you are still reading this; sorry it's a few days late. When I was having trouble pulling my hair, I found The TLC Foundation for Body-Focused Repetitive Behavior really helpful. (body focused repetitive behavior = clinical term for hair pulling, itching/scratching, nail biting, etc.) The tone of all of their info is super calm and positive, which was awesome for me at the time. I bought a bunch of fidget toys from them that helped a lot.

You can request their Getting Started Guide and review this pdf on research-based treatment options. A lot of the treatment suggestions were a little more intensive than I wanted at the time, but it sounds like you are pretty worried about this, so they might be the right fit for you! I mostly just use replacement behaviors (playing with fidget toys) and "environmental shaping" by covering the hair I pull at (I use a sleep mask, but I'm thinking for dudes a hat would work. You can get a doctor's note for a hat, I bet).
posted by Snarl Furillo at 8:08 PM on May 22, 2018