Help me solve my sleep problems?
May 12, 2018 6:30 AM Subscribe
What time to go to bed and what time to get up? Should I nap in the afternoon?
I am a livelong insomniac and natural night owl. I usually procrastinate going to bed because I have difficulty falling asleep and will lie awake worrying about my problems. The only time I fall asleep once my head hits the pillow is when I have exercised intensively to exhaustion during the day.
Once I fall asleep, I have stupid nightmares about being back in high school or college and failing exams (I graduated a very long time ago!) and I usually wake up a few times during the night. Once I am awake, I have trouble falling asleep again so I end up lying there for hours until my alarm goes off. I'm exhausted and have no energy for work in the morning because I have had only about 5 hours of sleep or so.
Post-lunch the sleepiness gets overwhelming and I feel the urge to nap in the afternoon. Oddly, even if I skip napping that day, I am still unable to sleep through the night.
I wake up at a different time everyday and go to bed sometime before twelve midnight. I will like to change this in the hope a more regular schedule will improve my sleep.
My schedule requires me to get up by 6:30am on certain weekdays and to be up latest by 7:30am the other weekdays. I am not required to be up at a set time on weekends. Since my earliest wakeup time is 6:30am, should I wake up at this time on all other days including weekends? I must admit I dread my 6:30am weekdays and find them painful even with my groovy new sunrise alarm. Will the 6:30 wakeup become less painful if I do it everyday? I had to get up at 5:45am for a previous job and I never got used to it. What time should I go to bed assuming I am trying to get 8 hours in (I will need to allow time for falling asleep)? Am I allowed to nap in the afternoon and if so for how long (need to include falling asleep time)?
I have tried taking calcium/magnesium supplements, chamomile/sleepytime teas before bed as well but they didn't seem to help much. Any other tips welcome! I have considered going for a sleep study but the expense and inconvenience (I think it has to be done as an inpatient?) puts me off. I have trouble falling asleep in unfamiliar places like hotels and I can't imagine falling asleep in a hospital with electrodes and tubes attached. It sounds very unpleasant.
I am a livelong insomniac and natural night owl. I usually procrastinate going to bed because I have difficulty falling asleep and will lie awake worrying about my problems. The only time I fall asleep once my head hits the pillow is when I have exercised intensively to exhaustion during the day.
Once I fall asleep, I have stupid nightmares about being back in high school or college and failing exams (I graduated a very long time ago!) and I usually wake up a few times during the night. Once I am awake, I have trouble falling asleep again so I end up lying there for hours until my alarm goes off. I'm exhausted and have no energy for work in the morning because I have had only about 5 hours of sleep or so.
Post-lunch the sleepiness gets overwhelming and I feel the urge to nap in the afternoon. Oddly, even if I skip napping that day, I am still unable to sleep through the night.
I wake up at a different time everyday and go to bed sometime before twelve midnight. I will like to change this in the hope a more regular schedule will improve my sleep.
My schedule requires me to get up by 6:30am on certain weekdays and to be up latest by 7:30am the other weekdays. I am not required to be up at a set time on weekends. Since my earliest wakeup time is 6:30am, should I wake up at this time on all other days including weekends? I must admit I dread my 6:30am weekdays and find them painful even with my groovy new sunrise alarm. Will the 6:30 wakeup become less painful if I do it everyday? I had to get up at 5:45am for a previous job and I never got used to it. What time should I go to bed assuming I am trying to get 8 hours in (I will need to allow time for falling asleep)? Am I allowed to nap in the afternoon and if so for how long (need to include falling asleep time)?
I have tried taking calcium/magnesium supplements, chamomile/sleepytime teas before bed as well but they didn't seem to help much. Any other tips welcome! I have considered going for a sleep study but the expense and inconvenience (I think it has to be done as an inpatient?) puts me off. I have trouble falling asleep in unfamiliar places like hotels and I can't imagine falling asleep in a hospital with electrodes and tubes attached. It sounds very unpleasant.
If you find that melatonin helps you get to sleep, you can also try orange (blue-blocking) glasses for two hours before bedtime; blue light blocks your natural melatonin production, so the glasses can help you get sleepy even as you go about your normal activities. (Orange dimming software like f.lux on your computer don’t block the blue completely enough to work, I’ve read.)
posted by wyzewoman at 6:45 AM on May 12, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by wyzewoman at 6:45 AM on May 12, 2018 [2 favorites]
I'm a lot like you, and as a datapoint, the only thing that worked for me was accepting that I was going to sleep for 3-4 hours before I got up for work, and then, in the afternoon/early evening, napping for another three hours. (Alt: 3-4 hour at night, an hour of my lunchbreak, an hour when I got home from work.) I'm not saying that it's ideal, but I will say that it was transformative for me. My body has never had a period of time where falling asleep at or before midnight and waking up at, say, six thirty was a thing that was consistently achievable--I spent the entirety of my school years wandering around in an exhausted daze. It made my life so much better to just decide that this is just how I am, there's nothing wrong with me, and I'm going to sleep at the times that seem to work best for me. If it's an option for you, I recommend it.
posted by mishafletch at 6:49 AM on May 12, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by mishafletch at 6:49 AM on May 12, 2018 [5 favorites]
What happens when and if you're able to sleep later? You might find advice aimed at addressing delayed sleep phase syndrome helpful.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 6:54 AM on May 12, 2018
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 6:54 AM on May 12, 2018
Response by poster: Additional info: I have not tried melatonin and have no idea how to take it. Is it safe to take it over the counter?
I am not disciplined about computer screens but I do wear glasses that block blue light and I have f.lux installed.
mishafletch: Some days I'm out of the house the whole day and I simply have no time to nap. That is how I found out I would still wake up at 3 or 4 am despite the lack of napping.
PhoBWanKenobi: On Friday and Saturday nights, I usually go to bed at midnight or latest 2am. On Saturday and Sunday mornings, I don't set my alarm so I tend to wake up naturally sometime between 8 and 10 a.m. I tend to get up around 9+. Of course, this is later than the time I have to get up on weekday mornings. I still wake up in the middle of the night on weekends but I think I do sleep better so at least some of my weekday disturbances can be attributed to weekday stress.
posted by whitelotus at 7:06 AM on May 12, 2018
I am not disciplined about computer screens but I do wear glasses that block blue light and I have f.lux installed.
mishafletch: Some days I'm out of the house the whole day and I simply have no time to nap. That is how I found out I would still wake up at 3 or 4 am despite the lack of napping.
PhoBWanKenobi: On Friday and Saturday nights, I usually go to bed at midnight or latest 2am. On Saturday and Sunday mornings, I don't set my alarm so I tend to wake up naturally sometime between 8 and 10 a.m. I tend to get up around 9+. Of course, this is later than the time I have to get up on weekday mornings. I still wake up in the middle of the night on weekends but I think I do sleep better so at least some of my weekday disturbances can be attributed to weekday stress.
posted by whitelotus at 7:06 AM on May 12, 2018
This is a huge long-shot, but I used to ahve the sort of night-time unpleasantness you describe. I realized at some point it had stopped. I'm not sure exactly when it stopped, but I think it might have been around the time I replaced my furnace, and since then I have wondered if maybe there was infra-sound in my bedroom. (not quite the same effect, but previously)
Try sleeping with earplugs and see if it helps the nightmares and night-time worry. If it does and your furnace or AC are old, consider replacing them.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:08 AM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
Try sleeping with earplugs and see if it helps the nightmares and night-time worry. If it does and your furnace or AC are old, consider replacing them.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:08 AM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
Lifelong insomniac with sleep apnea here.
Yes, I have found that consistently getting up at my earliest regular time helps, although I'm not great about it and will definitely sleep in a couple of hours on the weekend if I feel I've not been getting enough sleep during the week. The times that I've been able to stick to a rigid sleep schedule, including rigidly-adhered-to bedtimes that gave me enough time to fall asleep at my own (slow) pace and still get about 8 hours of unconsciousness in, I've felt a lot better during the day.
However, it sounds like both your sleep quality and your sleep quantity are lousy. Working on quality is harder and best done with the help of medical professionals. I recently had a sleep study done and discovered that hey, I have sleep apnea, and now I'm in the process of getting that treated. That's not something that I would have been able to deal with on my own, but from what I hear from other folks who have treated their sleep apnea, it should make a big difference to my energy levels and overall quality of life.
For what it's worth, I'm not going with CPAP. I too dislike the idea of being on a tube at night, it's expensive even with insurance, the monitoring that my insurance company wanted to do is invasive, and I have a beard that I don't want to shave so possibly I wouldn't even be able to get it to work. Instead I had a visit with an ENT who was able to figure out what he thinks is the cause of my apnea (an unusually large tongue that blocks my throat when I turn onto my back) and am now in the process of getting an appliance made that will help keep my tongue in place. I would also have been interested in surgical interventions (which I've heard have good success rates) but he didn't see anything to do surgery on. I'm also going to try ProVent, which is basically a one-way valve that goes in your nose and helps increase the back pressure when you exhale in order to keep your airways open.
The sleep study itself was done at home and wasn't that bad. The worst bit was the nasal cannula, which dried out my nose and made me wake up in the night feeling like I just had to pull it out (which would have been a waste of the $375 that I ended up being billed for) but I was eventually able to get back to sleep. Other than that it was a pretty easy experience, and it's just for one night. One night of mild discomfort seems well worth it for potentially a lifetime of improved sleep and all the quality of life benefits that go with that.
Now, maybe apnea isn't your problem. It sounds to this unqualified layperson like some of what you have going on may be psychiatric. That would still be worth talking to a doctor about; maybe there's a medication you could take that would help you fall asleep faster and not have nightmares, or maybe you could benefit from therapy to address the anxieties that are causing you to fear sleep and have bad dreams. Maybe some of both. Either way, I think a doctor should be your first stop.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 7:13 AM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
Yes, I have found that consistently getting up at my earliest regular time helps, although I'm not great about it and will definitely sleep in a couple of hours on the weekend if I feel I've not been getting enough sleep during the week. The times that I've been able to stick to a rigid sleep schedule, including rigidly-adhered-to bedtimes that gave me enough time to fall asleep at my own (slow) pace and still get about 8 hours of unconsciousness in, I've felt a lot better during the day.
However, it sounds like both your sleep quality and your sleep quantity are lousy. Working on quality is harder and best done with the help of medical professionals. I recently had a sleep study done and discovered that hey, I have sleep apnea, and now I'm in the process of getting that treated. That's not something that I would have been able to deal with on my own, but from what I hear from other folks who have treated their sleep apnea, it should make a big difference to my energy levels and overall quality of life.
For what it's worth, I'm not going with CPAP. I too dislike the idea of being on a tube at night, it's expensive even with insurance, the monitoring that my insurance company wanted to do is invasive, and I have a beard that I don't want to shave so possibly I wouldn't even be able to get it to work. Instead I had a visit with an ENT who was able to figure out what he thinks is the cause of my apnea (an unusually large tongue that blocks my throat when I turn onto my back) and am now in the process of getting an appliance made that will help keep my tongue in place. I would also have been interested in surgical interventions (which I've heard have good success rates) but he didn't see anything to do surgery on. I'm also going to try ProVent, which is basically a one-way valve that goes in your nose and helps increase the back pressure when you exhale in order to keep your airways open.
The sleep study itself was done at home and wasn't that bad. The worst bit was the nasal cannula, which dried out my nose and made me wake up in the night feeling like I just had to pull it out (which would have been a waste of the $375 that I ended up being billed for) but I was eventually able to get back to sleep. Other than that it was a pretty easy experience, and it's just for one night. One night of mild discomfort seems well worth it for potentially a lifetime of improved sleep and all the quality of life benefits that go with that.
Now, maybe apnea isn't your problem. It sounds to this unqualified layperson like some of what you have going on may be psychiatric. That would still be worth talking to a doctor about; maybe there's a medication you could take that would help you fall asleep faster and not have nightmares, or maybe you could benefit from therapy to address the anxieties that are causing you to fear sleep and have bad dreams. Maybe some of both. Either way, I think a doctor should be your first stop.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 7:13 AM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Don't be afraid of a sleep study. The at-home ones aren't that bad, and even if you have to go to a facility overnight it's only one night. This is coming from someone who really didn't want to get a sleep study, but then found out he has sleep apnea and now loves his cpap. Yes, it will suck, but it's only for one night and can tell you a lot about how to fix any problems.
If it turns out you have sleep apnea don't be afraid of a cpap. There are so many masks available there's almost certainly something that will be comfortable. I was dreading it but got used to it within a few days. A couple times in the first week I even woke up and thought "crap, I took off my mask overnight" only to realize that it was actually still on and I just hadn't noticed it.
This technique for falling asleep was posted in another ask earlier this week. I've tried it once in the middle of the night and it seemed to help. Might be worth a try.
Shuffle your thoughts and sleep
Melatonin also works for me to make me fall asleep quickly. Most melatonin tables contain too much though, which isn't effective. Look for something that has .2 to .5 mg (that's 200-500 micrograms). Taking more doesn't hurt anything, but it also doesn't do anything.
posted by unix at 7:38 AM on May 12, 2018
If it turns out you have sleep apnea don't be afraid of a cpap. There are so many masks available there's almost certainly something that will be comfortable. I was dreading it but got used to it within a few days. A couple times in the first week I even woke up and thought "crap, I took off my mask overnight" only to realize that it was actually still on and I just hadn't noticed it.
This technique for falling asleep was posted in another ask earlier this week. I've tried it once in the middle of the night and it seemed to help. Might be worth a try.
Shuffle your thoughts and sleep
Melatonin also works for me to make me fall asleep quickly. Most melatonin tables contain too much though, which isn't effective. Look for something that has .2 to .5 mg (that's 200-500 micrograms). Taking more doesn't hurt anything, but it also doesn't do anything.
posted by unix at 7:38 AM on May 12, 2018
Many insurances will only cover in home sleep studies if you’re in the US. I think that could be insightful either way - they do monitor many things and saying I have sleep problems but don’t want a sleep study is to me akin to saying my knee is so sore I can’t walk 200 feet, but see an ortho and get an X-ray? That’s expensive, the options might be temporarily uncomfortable, no way. Sometimes the short term discomfort leads to a permanent improvement and is well worth the cost. Be willing to try CPAP or whatever though, if you have a study done. What’s the point otherwise? What if you find CPAP allowed you to sleep 7 hours uninterrupted a night and feel rested? A good healthcare provider will offer many potential solutions you can try. Not all may work and nothing may be perfect, but surely there’s something that can help. If your current sleep isn’t truly restful, even 8 hours of it won’t be enough.
posted by OneSmartMonkey at 7:52 AM on May 12, 2018
posted by OneSmartMonkey at 7:52 AM on May 12, 2018
What about caffeine? Eliminating caffeine made it (after a few sleepy days) much, much easier to wake up in the morning and to maintain a steady state of energy throughout the day. I think it’s one of the first things a doctor will ask.
posted by shothotbot at 7:58 AM on May 12, 2018
posted by shothotbot at 7:58 AM on May 12, 2018
Melatonin is generally safe to take over the counter. Talk to your doctor and get their advice on what dose to try and how to increase it if the first try doesn’t help. Melatonin really helps me maintain my needed sleep schedule. When one dose wasn’t working for me, my doctor recommended bumping up higher than I would have tried on my own, and it worked.
It also sounds like you may have some anxiety issues affecting your sleep — the nightmares, the racing thoughts that keep you from getting to sleep or getting back to sleep. Have you talked to a doctor about those symptoms, or any others that may be non-sleep-related? I had severe insomnia before I got my anxiety treated — like, never getting to sleep before sunrise. With proper anxiety treatment, my baseline is to fall asleep around midnight or 1 AM and wake up around 9 AM. (I still use melatonin to shift that back 2 hours, so I can be at work by 8:30, but it’s a lot better than it used to be.)
Finally, in the US at least, sleep studies need not be done at hospitals. Sometimes they can be done at home. Other times they are done in hotel-like settings. The hookups are surprisingly non-invasive. Electrodes just feel like tiny pieces of tape on your skin, and the only tube just sits right at the entrance to your nose, and doesn’t have to go up inside you anywhere. Everything is long enough to let you turn over comfortably.
When I had one done, I was relieved to find out that you can still easily go to the bathroom while wired up. The leads all go from your body into a small box, and then the box plugs into the big monitoring machine. If you need the bathroom, just alert the technician and they will unplug the box, which you simply carry in your hand as you use the bathroom. Then you go back to bed and the box gets plugged back in.
posted by snowmentality at 8:13 AM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
It also sounds like you may have some anxiety issues affecting your sleep — the nightmares, the racing thoughts that keep you from getting to sleep or getting back to sleep. Have you talked to a doctor about those symptoms, or any others that may be non-sleep-related? I had severe insomnia before I got my anxiety treated — like, never getting to sleep before sunrise. With proper anxiety treatment, my baseline is to fall asleep around midnight or 1 AM and wake up around 9 AM. (I still use melatonin to shift that back 2 hours, so I can be at work by 8:30, but it’s a lot better than it used to be.)
Finally, in the US at least, sleep studies need not be done at hospitals. Sometimes they can be done at home. Other times they are done in hotel-like settings. The hookups are surprisingly non-invasive. Electrodes just feel like tiny pieces of tape on your skin, and the only tube just sits right at the entrance to your nose, and doesn’t have to go up inside you anywhere. Everything is long enough to let you turn over comfortably.
When I had one done, I was relieved to find out that you can still easily go to the bathroom while wired up. The leads all go from your body into a small box, and then the box plugs into the big monitoring machine. If you need the bathroom, just alert the technician and they will unplug the box, which you simply carry in your hand as you use the bathroom. Then you go back to bed and the box gets plugged back in.
posted by snowmentality at 8:13 AM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
Insomniac with anxiety here! I take melatonin every night, and it really helps. I also use a white-noise app, which cuts down on the anxiety that gets triggered by hearing weird or annoying noises when I'm trying to sleep -- noises like ours cats getting up to shenanigans, or traffic outside being loud, or the fan we use making a a buzzing noise, stuff like that. I also use a CPAP, and have found that my sleep is a bit better with it -- I'm not nearly as prone to dozing off and then snapping back awake as i was without it.
(I did a home sleep study, and it was mildly annoying and awkward, but fine. The idea of doing an inpatient one made me feel panicky, though, so I'm glad I didn't do that.)
posted by sarcasticah at 8:28 AM on May 12, 2018
(I did a home sleep study, and it was mildly annoying and awkward, but fine. The idea of doing an inpatient one made me feel panicky, though, so I'm glad I didn't do that.)
posted by sarcasticah at 8:28 AM on May 12, 2018
Personally, I use Zzquil or ibuprofen PM to help nudge me to sleep some nights when I need it. And to prevent myself from laying there thinking about all my problems, I keep a laptop next to my ned, screen off, that plays episodes of my favorite shows at a low volume, but loud enough that I can hear it and follow the show. The key is it has to be a show I've seen already so I am not staying up to find out what happens and so I can easily make out the dialogue (because I've already seen it). I listen to the show and follow it until I drift off to sleep. I've done this for years and it really prevents me from laying there thinking about crap I don't want to. The shows I use are Friends, The Office or Parks & Rec.
posted by AppleTurnover at 9:58 AM on May 12, 2018
posted by AppleTurnover at 9:58 AM on May 12, 2018
I am also a night owl. Melatonin over the counter is safe. I take 10 mg before bed if I'm not sleepy. It helps but doesn't knock me out. Over the counter sleeping pills were actively bad for me because I would take them and stay awake, so I'd take more and more until I was buzzing and totally unable to sleep.
The best thing I did for my sleep is an active visualization technique. First, I start repeating my mantra "Empty Head" to myself. As my brain throws up more and more thoughts I start visualizing empty things, an empty glass, an empty field, the horizon at the ocean, while continuing with the mantra. This seems to give my brain enough to think about that I can slip to sleep, or at least break the cycle of worrying about what happened today and what I need to do tomorrow.
Good luck. I feel for you.
posted by irisclara at 11:13 AM on May 12, 2018
The best thing I did for my sleep is an active visualization technique. First, I start repeating my mantra "Empty Head" to myself. As my brain throws up more and more thoughts I start visualizing empty things, an empty glass, an empty field, the horizon at the ocean, while continuing with the mantra. This seems to give my brain enough to think about that I can slip to sleep, or at least break the cycle of worrying about what happened today and what I need to do tomorrow.
Good luck. I feel for you.
posted by irisclara at 11:13 AM on May 12, 2018
I, too, struggle with anxious thoughts at night, and one thing that's been a big help recently is a podcast called Sleep With Me. The host tells an increasingly boring bedtime story. It took me a couple of tries to get used to it, but now I find it really helpful.
posted by too bad you're not me at 11:31 AM on May 12, 2018
posted by too bad you're not me at 11:31 AM on May 12, 2018
sleep study
Sleep Study
SLEEP STUDY
Seriously, get a sleep study. There are surprisingly many underlying medical issues that can contribute to bad sleep and can be addressed. Even if you have none of those, there is cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia that can help.
posted by medusa at 12:29 PM on May 12, 2018
Sleep Study
SLEEP STUDY
Seriously, get a sleep study. There are surprisingly many underlying medical issues that can contribute to bad sleep and can be addressed. Even if you have none of those, there is cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia that can help.
posted by medusa at 12:29 PM on May 12, 2018
Cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia is very well-indicated. I would seek out someone in your area who does CBT, and ask when you meet them if they have specific training in CBT-I.
posted by soonertbone at 12:31 PM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by soonertbone at 12:31 PM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
I have a similar can't-fall-asleep/back-to-sleep/replay-all-my-lifelong-anxieties sleep problem. I can suggest a short-term intervention. I play movies or tv shows via my phone, with a headphone in one ear (side sleeper). I leave it on all night long.
This is terrible sleep hygiene and it is not quality sleep (it might be 50% percent quality sleep, at some point I do get into REM sleep) but if you're desperate it might work for you as a short-term stop-gap until you can address the bigger issues. It works for me specifically because it gives my mind something to focus on other than the anxieties. It also works because I only play low-key shows (as opposed to action adventure) that I am already very familiar with, so I don't think about or focus on the show. It's background noise, basically. If it's a new show that I've never seen before it doesn't work, because then I want to actually pay attention to the show to see what happens. For the same reason, music doesn't work for me at all (I end up singing the songs or just actively listening).
I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you find a good solution soon.
posted by vignettist at 12:54 PM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
This is terrible sleep hygiene and it is not quality sleep (it might be 50% percent quality sleep, at some point I do get into REM sleep) but if you're desperate it might work for you as a short-term stop-gap until you can address the bigger issues. It works for me specifically because it gives my mind something to focus on other than the anxieties. It also works because I only play low-key shows (as opposed to action adventure) that I am already very familiar with, so I don't think about or focus on the show. It's background noise, basically. If it's a new show that I've never seen before it doesn't work, because then I want to actually pay attention to the show to see what happens. For the same reason, music doesn't work for me at all (I end up singing the songs or just actively listening).
I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you find a good solution soon.
posted by vignettist at 12:54 PM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
I have a similar can't-fall-asleep/back-to-sleep/replay-all-my-lifelong-anxieties sleep problem. I can suggest a short-term intervention. I play movies or tv shows via my phone, with a headphone in one ear (side sleeper). I leave it on all night long.
I listen to light/funny/charming audiobooks on a sleep timer. I play them on my phone with a white noise app in the background. The sleep timer ends the audiobook after some time of your choosing — I generally set an hour, but you can always extend it — which alleviates the sleep hygiene issue somewhat. Podcast apps also have sleep timers, if you go that route.
I reccommend Maxrock sleep earbuds which are the only earbuds I have found that are soft enough to wear comfortably while sleeping. They’re about $14 on Amazon.
posted by mrmurbles at 1:40 PM on May 12, 2018
I listen to light/funny/charming audiobooks on a sleep timer. I play them on my phone with a white noise app in the background. The sleep timer ends the audiobook after some time of your choosing — I generally set an hour, but you can always extend it — which alleviates the sleep hygiene issue somewhat. Podcast apps also have sleep timers, if you go that route.
I reccommend Maxrock sleep earbuds which are the only earbuds I have found that are soft enough to wear comfortably while sleeping. They’re about $14 on Amazon.
posted by mrmurbles at 1:40 PM on May 12, 2018
I like melatonin because it makes me feel naturally drowsy, it helps me stay asleep, and the sleep quality I get is good, even if I sometimes don’t get as many hours of sleep as I need. I do have vivid dreams while on it (not nightmares, but just very involved and detailed) but nothing detrimental. I wake up feeling naturally rested, whereas using Benadryl or other sleep aid gave me sort of a sluggish hangover where I still felt drowsy until it wore off. I find that the effect is cumulative—after consistent use and reasonable sleep hygiene, even if I have a few consecutive nights of shorter sleep, I still feel less tired and wiped out than I used to.
I use Natrol brand sublingual 5mg, which they sell at Costco for cheap (and it goes on sale with reasonable frequency) and which you just let dissolve on your tongue like a piece of candy. I take it a couple hours before I intend to be asleep, and try not to do anything super-exciting in the interim. This is where screen discipline is helpful. Don’t go watch an action movie, argue on the internet, or anything else that will get you all riled up, or it will cancel out the melatonin. You can be woke in the morning, nyuk nyuk.
I also have racing thoughts/brain weasels, and I am in the habit of reading a book to help fall asleep (I have an e-ink e-reader with no backlight). I listen to audiobooks while getting ready for bed to engage my mind without involving a screen.
posted by Autumnheart at 1:40 PM on May 12, 2018
I use Natrol brand sublingual 5mg, which they sell at Costco for cheap (and it goes on sale with reasonable frequency) and which you just let dissolve on your tongue like a piece of candy. I take it a couple hours before I intend to be asleep, and try not to do anything super-exciting in the interim. This is where screen discipline is helpful. Don’t go watch an action movie, argue on the internet, or anything else that will get you all riled up, or it will cancel out the melatonin. You can be woke in the morning, nyuk nyuk.
I also have racing thoughts/brain weasels, and I am in the habit of reading a book to help fall asleep (I have an e-ink e-reader with no backlight). I listen to audiobooks while getting ready for bed to engage my mind without involving a screen.
posted by Autumnheart at 1:40 PM on May 12, 2018
Also, I’ve found that short guided meditations, like Headspace, and/or a brief nighttime stretching routine also helps a lot to relax and prepare for sleep. It’s especially good for clearing the mind, calming racing thoughts, and disengaging from whatever outrageous thing you were just reading instead of practicing screen discipline.
posted by Autumnheart at 1:45 PM on May 12, 2018
posted by Autumnheart at 1:45 PM on May 12, 2018
Best answer: I also have the same sleep issues as you, and I'm a life-long night owl who worries about everything. My lack of sleep was severely impacting every facet of my life - things are starting to get better now.
Things I discovered that work for me:
-not taking melatonin, it makes my nightmares so much more vivid (it can work for others, just not for me, no idea why)
-fan or white noise app
-eye mask (easier and cheaper than black -out curtains)
-cool temp room
-stop caffeine by 1pm
-go for a walk, run, some form of movement outside to calm my mind and wear out the body
-can't watch or read about anything scary or gory on worknights
-news diet, social media diet...too much info makes my brain spin and spin and spin
-as I'm falling asleep, list all of the things I accomplished that day, no matter how mundane (everything! 'showering', 'got my project in on deadline', 'petted cat', 'stopped to watch sunset', 'found missing sock')
-Low dose of trazadone for sleep (only sleeping pill I've tried that doesn't leave me groggy the next day. It wears off after 3-4 hours. It turns my brain off, silence!). In the U.S. at least it's a generic, I've paid $5 a month when not on insurance.
When my own efforts didn't work, I had my doctor refer me to a sleep study. It was at a hotel-like place. It wasn't too bad, I'd say the worst part is I have long hair and the electrode paste made it look hilarious when I woke up. I brought my comfy pajamas, my own pillow, and there was a shower there. I didn't sleep well, but I knew that would happen. The place I went to was clean, like Best Western/Holiday Inn in terms of comfort. The sleep technician had a very soothing voice and narrated what he was doing, and answered my questions.
It was $500 after insurance, and I set up a payment plan. A bit expensive, but I was so fed up with years of sleep issues, I saw it as an investment in my health. I didn't end up having anything like sleep apnea, but still had trouble sleeping, so I was referred to a sleep specialist.
Things sleep specialist has me do:
-Try not to nap
-Worked with me to find a good, natural bedtime (12:30-7:00), so I can function at work.
-It's not the amount of sleep you should aim for, it's quality. Sleep doctor asks me how long I think I'm asleep vs. time in bed, it should be 85% time spent asleep. You may need more or less then the standard 8 hours.
-Try image rehearsal therapy (write down your nightmares upon waking, but change the outcome to a positive one where you're in control).
-Low dose of prazosin for nightmares (Next step is to find a good therapist).
-Shocking my sleep pattern - for a week, I go to bed 15 minutes later than usual. If I'm still not falling asleep in a reasonable amount of time, I delay sleep 15 more minutes for another week, etc (but no less than 5.5 hours of sleep). Aim is to be extra sleepy for a little bit, then gradually shift bedtime back to usual, to 'train' myself to sleep at the correct time.
-Any changes in sleep times should be done in 15 minute increments per week, to see the best results, changes have to be gradual and consistent.
I'm paying a bit more to see a specialist, but again, investment in my health. Lack of quality sleep affects so much, I really didn't realize that until recently. Try the sleep study, the outcome will be so crucial in a doctor being able to help you figure this out! My sleep study clinic let me pay as little as $25 a month at times when I had a financial crunch, if this helps ease your mind about the cost issues.
This is a way longer than I thought, but hopefully some of this is helpful!
posted by shinyshiny at 2:14 PM on May 12, 2018
Things I discovered that work for me:
-not taking melatonin, it makes my nightmares so much more vivid (it can work for others, just not for me, no idea why)
-fan or white noise app
-eye mask (easier and cheaper than black -out curtains)
-cool temp room
-stop caffeine by 1pm
-go for a walk, run, some form of movement outside to calm my mind and wear out the body
-can't watch or read about anything scary or gory on worknights
-news diet, social media diet...too much info makes my brain spin and spin and spin
-as I'm falling asleep, list all of the things I accomplished that day, no matter how mundane (everything! 'showering', 'got my project in on deadline', 'petted cat', 'stopped to watch sunset', 'found missing sock')
-Low dose of trazadone for sleep (only sleeping pill I've tried that doesn't leave me groggy the next day. It wears off after 3-4 hours. It turns my brain off, silence!). In the U.S. at least it's a generic, I've paid $5 a month when not on insurance.
When my own efforts didn't work, I had my doctor refer me to a sleep study. It was at a hotel-like place. It wasn't too bad, I'd say the worst part is I have long hair and the electrode paste made it look hilarious when I woke up. I brought my comfy pajamas, my own pillow, and there was a shower there. I didn't sleep well, but I knew that would happen. The place I went to was clean, like Best Western/Holiday Inn in terms of comfort. The sleep technician had a very soothing voice and narrated what he was doing, and answered my questions.
It was $500 after insurance, and I set up a payment plan. A bit expensive, but I was so fed up with years of sleep issues, I saw it as an investment in my health. I didn't end up having anything like sleep apnea, but still had trouble sleeping, so I was referred to a sleep specialist.
Things sleep specialist has me do:
-Try not to nap
-Worked with me to find a good, natural bedtime (12:30-7:00), so I can function at work.
-It's not the amount of sleep you should aim for, it's quality. Sleep doctor asks me how long I think I'm asleep vs. time in bed, it should be 85% time spent asleep. You may need more or less then the standard 8 hours.
-Try image rehearsal therapy (write down your nightmares upon waking, but change the outcome to a positive one where you're in control).
-Low dose of prazosin for nightmares (Next step is to find a good therapist).
-Shocking my sleep pattern - for a week, I go to bed 15 minutes later than usual. If I'm still not falling asleep in a reasonable amount of time, I delay sleep 15 more minutes for another week, etc (but no less than 5.5 hours of sleep). Aim is to be extra sleepy for a little bit, then gradually shift bedtime back to usual, to 'train' myself to sleep at the correct time.
-Any changes in sleep times should be done in 15 minute increments per week, to see the best results, changes have to be gradual and consistent.
I'm paying a bit more to see a specialist, but again, investment in my health. Lack of quality sleep affects so much, I really didn't realize that until recently. Try the sleep study, the outcome will be so crucial in a doctor being able to help you figure this out! My sleep study clinic let me pay as little as $25 a month at times when I had a financial crunch, if this helps ease your mind about the cost issues.
This is a way longer than I thought, but hopefully some of this is helpful!
posted by shinyshiny at 2:14 PM on May 12, 2018
Best answer: Yes, get up at 6:30 a.m. every day. Make your bed every morning, and then avoid it until bedtime, or sexy-time, rolls around. Mainly, avoid making your bed a lounge space. Don't have caffeine after 1 p.m., and eat (and drink very little) after 7 p.m. While calcium/magnesium didn't do much for me, ZMA capsules (zinc/magnesium/vitamin B-6) help; I have them before taking sublingual (under-the-tongue) melatonin in the hour before bedtime. (I also rub magnesium oil (DIY, or store-bought is fine) on my feet before bed; this kicks off the yawning before I've even taken the supplements.)
My bedroom's a cave, and I use a Vornado fan, set on the floor, for white noise. The room temperature is fairly cool, and I have a lightweight comforter. Do you need a new mattress? Try swapping around your pillow, for comfort, support, and sheer loft. Sometimes a low-profile pillow tilts your head too far down, and asleep-you believes your airway's become constricted and boots you to consciousness to address it. Awake-you is just too groggy to realize this. (See also: restricting fluid intake after 7 in the evening. Sometimes you're prodded awake because you could stand to use the bathroom, but a lifetime of training yourself to delay bathroom breaks + middle-of-the-night sleepiness means you don't recognize the need for what it is -- until it's become pressing, and your alarm's about to sound. In the meantime, your brain starts churning in a thousand other directions.)
Aim to be in bed between 9:30 and 10, as you're trying to sort this out right now; if you find a solution and manage a solid 7 hours of sleep most nights, you may not need a full 8.
Nap only on the weekends, try to pick either Saturday or Sunday, and don't sleep for more than 60-90 minutes. Allow yourself about a 20- to 30-minute window in which to fall asleep for the nap, but if that doesn't happen, get up and start moving around instead -- don't nap, but if you can, do the intense exercise which has guaranteed refreshing night sleep for you in the past.
My insomnia's linked to my anxiety, too. Write tomorrow's to-do list a couple of hours before bed, and write your problems down on a different sheet of paper or in a journal before you turn out the lights. (This soothes your mind that the tasks and problems have been accounted for, and will be dealt with accordingly.) Then see if something like the 4/8/7 breathing technique, or rearranging shapes in your head, or visualizing decorating a room, or that Burkeman approach mentioned in unix's answer (link to the app, MySleepButton), or anything intended to quell that achingly familiar, anxiety-fueled mental hamster wheel, might work for you.
I agree that a doctor consult is helpful and may not trigger a sleep study. (I also agree that sleep studies, in-home or in-clinic, are not to be dreaded). But set the stage for quality sleep as best you can, using all the tools at your disposal, today. I wish you well.
posted by Iris Gambol at 3:38 PM on May 12, 2018
My bedroom's a cave, and I use a Vornado fan, set on the floor, for white noise. The room temperature is fairly cool, and I have a lightweight comforter. Do you need a new mattress? Try swapping around your pillow, for comfort, support, and sheer loft. Sometimes a low-profile pillow tilts your head too far down, and asleep-you believes your airway's become constricted and boots you to consciousness to address it. Awake-you is just too groggy to realize this. (See also: restricting fluid intake after 7 in the evening. Sometimes you're prodded awake because you could stand to use the bathroom, but a lifetime of training yourself to delay bathroom breaks + middle-of-the-night sleepiness means you don't recognize the need for what it is -- until it's become pressing, and your alarm's about to sound. In the meantime, your brain starts churning in a thousand other directions.)
Aim to be in bed between 9:30 and 10, as you're trying to sort this out right now; if you find a solution and manage a solid 7 hours of sleep most nights, you may not need a full 8.
Nap only on the weekends, try to pick either Saturday or Sunday, and don't sleep for more than 60-90 minutes. Allow yourself about a 20- to 30-minute window in which to fall asleep for the nap, but if that doesn't happen, get up and start moving around instead -- don't nap, but if you can, do the intense exercise which has guaranteed refreshing night sleep for you in the past.
My insomnia's linked to my anxiety, too. Write tomorrow's to-do list a couple of hours before bed, and write your problems down on a different sheet of paper or in a journal before you turn out the lights. (This soothes your mind that the tasks and problems have been accounted for, and will be dealt with accordingly.) Then see if something like the 4/8/7 breathing technique, or rearranging shapes in your head, or visualizing decorating a room, or that Burkeman approach mentioned in unix's answer (link to the app, MySleepButton), or anything intended to quell that achingly familiar, anxiety-fueled mental hamster wheel, might work for you.
I agree that a doctor consult is helpful and may not trigger a sleep study. (I also agree that sleep studies, in-home or in-clinic, are not to be dreaded). But set the stage for quality sleep as best you can, using all the tools at your disposal, today. I wish you well.
posted by Iris Gambol at 3:38 PM on May 12, 2018
Why We Sleep is a wonderful book written by the director of UCBerkeley's Sleep and Neuroimaging Lab.
posted by conrad53 at 6:29 PM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by conrad53 at 6:29 PM on May 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
Another lifelong insomniac here. I use an iPod shuffle connected to a speaker, and listen to Fresh Air podcasts. Fresh Air is interesting enough to distract me from my worries, but at the same time Terry Gross has such a soothing, monotonal voice, it still puts me to sleep.
For me, the iPod shuffle is key, because it's a very basic MP3 player with just 5 buttons, and no screen. Once I'm in bed, I don't want the slightest amount of brightness near me.
Other things that help: melatonin (I take 3mg), only 1 cup of coffee in the a.m.
posted by invisible ink at 9:09 PM on May 12, 2018
For me, the iPod shuffle is key, because it's a very basic MP3 player with just 5 buttons, and no screen. Once I'm in bed, I don't want the slightest amount of brightness near me.
Other things that help: melatonin (I take 3mg), only 1 cup of coffee in the a.m.
posted by invisible ink at 9:09 PM on May 12, 2018
Melatonin is useful if you have problems falling asleep, not so helpful if you have problems staying asleep.
Source: my mom's doc at an appt last week.
posted by she's not there at 9:21 PM on May 12, 2018
Source: my mom's doc at an appt last week.
posted by she's not there at 9:21 PM on May 12, 2018
Response by poster: I am very sleepy so forgive me if I am a bit incoherent.
If only I had a penguin: I have trouble sleeping with ear-plugs in. I don't think my AC is noisy but I do live in the city so city noises are inevitable.
unix: I will try the thought shuffling next time I wake up in the middle of the night.
shothotbot: I don't drink coffee and at most I would have a cup of tea per day not too late in the day. I don't think it is enough to affect my sleep.
Iris Gambol: I'll put the ZMA supplements on my shopping list.
conrad53: I will try to check out the book.
posted by whitelotus at 1:51 AM on May 13, 2018 [1 favorite]
If only I had a penguin: I have trouble sleeping with ear-plugs in. I don't think my AC is noisy but I do live in the city so city noises are inevitable.
unix: I will try the thought shuffling next time I wake up in the middle of the night.
shothotbot: I don't drink coffee and at most I would have a cup of tea per day not too late in the day. I don't think it is enough to affect my sleep.
Iris Gambol: I'll put the ZMA supplements on my shopping list.
conrad53: I will try to check out the book.
posted by whitelotus at 1:51 AM on May 13, 2018 [1 favorite]
Infranoise is noise you don't actually hear. But it can cause a sort of generally anxious-worried-dready feeling. But it's a huge long shot, like I said, so I would probably try everything else first. And I have trouble sleeping with ear plugs, too...I was just thinking it's an easier way to test than replacing the furnace just to see...
But I wanted to say that I sleep with an eye mask, too, and I think it's chief use is conditioning-related. I have a fantastic eye mask that let's me open my eyes inside in complete darkness. I replace them every 2 or 3 years as the foam loses it's foaminess and the elastic stretches out. But I think what's helpful about the eye mask is that when I put it on my brain realizes it's time to go to sleep. It turns off and goes to sleep. Also, no distractions (no looking at the shadow etc.). But mainly it's the conditioning. Oh, sleep mask? Guess we're going to sleep now, says my brain.
If you find the sleep mask isn't comfortable for you, you might consider something else that can serve as that signal (i.e. maybe the white noise machine).
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:20 AM on May 14, 2018
But I wanted to say that I sleep with an eye mask, too, and I think it's chief use is conditioning-related. I have a fantastic eye mask that let's me open my eyes inside in complete darkness. I replace them every 2 or 3 years as the foam loses it's foaminess and the elastic stretches out. But I think what's helpful about the eye mask is that when I put it on my brain realizes it's time to go to sleep. It turns off and goes to sleep. Also, no distractions (no looking at the shadow etc.). But mainly it's the conditioning. Oh, sleep mask? Guess we're going to sleep now, says my brain.
If you find the sleep mask isn't comfortable for you, you might consider something else that can serve as that signal (i.e. maybe the white noise machine).
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:20 AM on May 14, 2018
Response by poster: Thank you, If only I had a penguin! Unfortunately, from experience I have trouble sleeping with anything on my face (I also use a sunrise alarm) but I have downloaded a nature sounds app on my phone and will play that before bed. Am also considering buying a nebulizer, putting lavender essential oil in it and letting it run just before bed.
I have been waking at 6:30 am these past few days and I have realized why sleep deprivation is a favorite technique for torturing prisoners.
posted by whitelotus at 10:01 PM on May 14, 2018
I have been waking at 6:30 am these past few days and I have realized why sleep deprivation is a favorite technique for torturing prisoners.
posted by whitelotus at 10:01 PM on May 14, 2018
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Also, are you disciplined about turning off backlit screens two hours before bed? No phone, no tablet, no TV, no computer.
posted by Autumnheart at 6:41 AM on May 12, 2018 [2 favorites]