Cliche Job-Search Language

April 29, 2018 5:36 PM

Help! Please help me not sound like a d-bag in my cover letter.

Pretty straightforward:

I am applying for a creative role and having trouble sorting out filler language from helpful in my cover letter. Is it cliche to talk about one's "vision?" No, I'm not bragging about my 20/30 eyesight--more like, "my current role demands leadership, creativity, and vision." I can't tell if it reads as filler copy or not.

Any insights would be much appreciated. Thanks!!!!

posted by shelle to Writing & Language (12 answers total)

I think if you can back up any claims with examples/evidence, it's fine. "My current role demands leadership, creativity, and vision. I manage a team of three, and I work to ensure that our output is blah blah blah. I push myself each day to find creative approaches to [work], including [example of creative solution]. Throughout this process, I strive to keep the larger picture in mind and to work toward an end product that meets not only the client's specifications but also fits with the values they espouse. For example, [example]." That's just off the top of my head and not really a great template, but basically: Back up what you're saying. I don't think "vision" is a bad word, if you can break it down more.
posted by lazuli at 5:48 PM on April 29, 2018 [4 favorites]

"Leadership, creative drive, and clarity of vision" would be stronger.
posted by DarlingBri at 6:14 PM on April 29, 2018 [2 favorites]

What about 'strategic vision'? Then you could give some examples of how you were able to execute on your big-picture thinking.
posted by Pademelon at 6:18 PM on April 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Thank you for the great suggestions, everyone! Does this make sense?

In a role that demands thought leadership, creative drive, and strategic vision, I’ve been tasked with energizing a X-year-old brand for a new generation of consumers. I’ve worked to imbue copy across all communication channels with fresh, youthful appeal, and I strive each day to find creative solutions and amplify the brand: In a recent promotional contest that would publish selected consumers' writing for monetary reward, it was I who coined this as a “guest columnist” role with a built-in readership, a marketing strategy that would offer additional cache and incentive for contest participants.
posted by shelle at 6:33 PM on April 29, 2018

The second sentence is a little run-on. I recommend simplifying: after the colon, try something like "For a recent promotional contest featuring consumer submissions, I created a "guest columnist" role to ensure built-in readership, adding incentive and cachet."

This link to clarify correct spelling of cachet.
posted by Miko at 6:56 PM on April 29, 2018 [3 favorites]

I don't know what "amplify the brand" means. I'd replace that colon with a period and simplify what comes after the colon. But other than that, it all makes sense to me.
posted by salvia at 6:58 PM on April 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: OMG, I'm a hack, y'all. Thanks for the clarification re: cache vs. cachet, Miko!
posted by shelle at 7:04 PM on April 29, 2018

When I read "In a role that demands..." the snarky DrGail thought "Okay, that's what the role demands. But did s/he meet those demands?" However, I would sit up and take notice if I read "My success in this job was built upon thought leadership, creative drive, and strategic vision..." And I read a lot of resumes in my job.
posted by DrGail at 7:23 PM on April 29, 2018 [6 favorites]

In a role that demands thought leadership, creative drive, and strategic vision, I’m responsible for energizing a X-year-old brand for a new generation of consumers. I create copy across all communication channels with a fresh, youthful appeal, and every day I find and incorporate creative solutions to amplify the brand. For example, in a recent promotion where [COMPANY NAME] paid for and published writing from selected consumers, my strategy of framing the contest reward as a "guest columnist" role with a built-in readership helped generate interest and incentive for contest participants seeking an extra level of prestige.

(I used to do executive bios for work.)
posted by mochapickle at 8:25 PM on April 29, 2018 [6 favorites]

oh, oh, change framing to positioning -- more appropriate
posted by mochapickle at 8:41 PM on April 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Amazing! You guys are the best!
posted by shelle at 8:53 PM on April 29, 2018

"... based on my role as a thought leader, creative visionary and strategic innovator..."
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 2:26 AM on April 30, 2018