Desperately in need of clever couple code phrase

April 13, 2018 10:57 AM

In a story I’m writing, two of the characters are a gay couple in the early stages of opening up their relationship. I want for them to have come up with a sort of short code phrase they can use in mixed company at parties to say “I’ve met a really cute guy and things are looking promising and I don’t wanna miss my chance, so if you need to leave or whatever that’s fine I’ll catch up with you later and report back on how things went.”

If it matters, one of the characters is British and the other is an American. The tone of the story is light and something funny would be preferable. Non-obvious innuendo is a bonus.

I CANNOT come up with anything good and it’s killing me!!!

posted by Narrative Priorities to Writing & Language (18 answers total)

For context, is this a code phrase for one half to leave the other and the group assembled, or is this for one half to alert the other so they can both leave?
posted by deezil at 11:18 AM on April 13, 2018

When I lived in London, if my friends from Ireland and the UK were interested in someone, they'd slyly say, "I'm off to check the wedding present" (or something like that) and trot off to chat up a stranger. I thought it was an adorable way of saying what you're looking for.
posted by HeyAllie at 11:25 AM on April 13, 2018 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: For context, is this a code phrase for one half to leave the other and the group assembled, or is this for one half to alert the other so they can both leave?

In this case, at least, Character A wants to leave a party with some of their friends to go chill in a diner, and Character B is using the code phrase to subtly indicate that Character A should go ahead and leave without him.
posted by Narrative Priorities at 11:58 AM on April 13, 2018

There's a guy I want to talk to about the [insert name] project.
posted by SemiSalt at 12:02 PM on April 13, 2018 [1 favorite]

I've got some loose ends to take care of here
posted by newmoistness at 12:06 PM on April 13, 2018 [2 favorites]

Do they have a pet? "Honey, would you mind checking on Mr. Snookums?" might be a good excuse.

Actually, it might work even better if they do not have a pet, but you give it a name with some innuendo!
posted by chatongriffes at 12:06 PM on April 13, 2018 [2 favorites]

One says "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" If the other one is OK with it they say "It's a little warm." If not, they say "No, it's just you."
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 1:30 PM on April 13, 2018 [3 favorites]

"I need to see a man about a horse" ?
posted by ubiquity at 1:32 PM on April 13, 2018 [4 favorites]

"I found a [thing] in the [place] earlier. Is it yours?"

Yes response: "I thought that was yours!" or "Oh, it's for you, enjoy!"
No response: "That's mine, I've been looking for it."

Thing and place can be vague, specific, or silly (cash in the car, a cupcake in the fridge, a Billy Joel CD in the Starbucks bathroom).
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:57 PM on April 13, 2018 [1 favorite]

If it can be kept from others’ ears, maybe “I need to take care of a C.G.A.” They know it means Cute Guy Alert. But you might get humor/humor out of them making up other definitions if overheard.
posted by The Deej at 3:51 PM on April 13, 2018 [1 favorite]

Something like “You go on without me, I’m going to have a bite to eat first.” And then hilarity ensues when Character C says “You’re passing on going to a diner because you’re hungry?” and Characters A and B have to amusingly dissemble when they realize their code phrase has failed them.
posted by ejs at 3:54 PM on April 13, 2018 [2 favorites]

Howabout just "Did you run the dishwasher this morning?"
posted by noloveforned at 4:17 PM on April 13, 2018 [1 favorite]

I would go with the traditional-- I just met someone new and he is a friend of Dorothy.
posted by seasparrow at 4:22 PM on April 13, 2018 [1 favorite]

"Have you got a handkerchief?"
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:24 PM on April 13, 2018 [2 favorites]

How about one of them mentioning a certain vintage of wine at the bar, on the list or in the host’s cabinet that he simply has got to/must try? Vintages and varietals can be coded for age, outfit, ethnicity, etc. And the switch between actually wanting to taste wine and attempting a fling would be at the end of the phrase; “do you want a glass” is actually about wine, “I’ll tell you how it is” means don’t wait up.
posted by infinitewindow at 9:06 PM on April 13, 2018 [2 favorites]

Man who wants to go hook up: “Will I see you later?”
Partner, if he’s ok with it, “I hope not.” - and a smile
Partner, if he’s not ok with it, “You better.”
posted by greermahoney at 12:27 AM on April 14, 2018 [2 favorites]

I'm thinking in general about code phrases for couples, and in my experience most of them end up being really absurd inside jokes, or references to stories from years ago that weren't even that interesting the first time.

I mean, like, if I've gone on way too long about something and my wife wants to gently tell me to shut up, she says "basically a dog" in this specific tone of voice, and there is no earthly way anyone but us could find that funny even if we told the back story behind it, you just had to be there.

So yeah, I'd aim less for clear incisive wit, and more for the sort of dumb, meme-y, pointless catchphrase humor that people use when they've known each other way too long.
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:15 PM on April 14, 2018 [2 favorites]

I like nebulawindphone’s way of thinking, but I suspect it would work much better for a novel where one has space to work that kind of backstory and metaphor into exposition without jerking the reader through time to explain the inside joke and make it the reader’s joke too. For a short story I like a simpler more direct metaphor, just so you can save those words for plot instead of story.
posted by infinitewindow at 5:17 PM on April 15, 2018 [1 favorite]