Wanted: one great psych PhD grad gift

March 22, 2018 12:50 PM

My niece is graduating with a PhD in psychology from a really good school this spring, and much like this question, I want to get her a great grad gift. The wrinkle? I don't really know her. More details below.

My niece is the first person in my family to get a doctorate degree, and I really want to commemorate her accomplishment! However, I haven't talked with her since she was literally nine years old, and I'm not close to my brother, his ex-wife, or their kids. (Her mother, my brother's ex-wife, let me know about her graduating and invited me to the commencement on Facebook.)

I would like to start being a better aunt to her (or any aunt at all, really), but I realize that this is probably the absolute worst time to try to reach out to her to get to know her, while she's wrapping up her dissertation. So, I think a gift would be the easiest way to show her I care without putting even more burden on her while she's getting ready to graduate.

What suggestions do you have for good gifts for the psych PhD that you don't know so well?

posted by inky_the_pinky to Human Relations (13 answers total)

Honestly? Cash.
posted by General Malaise at 1:04 PM on March 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Honestly? If she was a grad student in the US, money.

Or a flight somewhere warm, or an Airbnb gift card.

Remember she's a world expert in her field now and she may also be a little burned out on the discipline, so you shouldn't get her anything psychology-related. And she's not on her way to college. Stationery, book bags or other academic supplies are hopefully a problem she solved a decade ago. Good gifts for a psych PhD are the same gifts you'd give to anyone of a similar age.
posted by caek at 1:05 PM on March 22, 2018

Best answer: If you have any sense of her personal style (maybe through FB photos?), a nice work bag or tote could be useful, as a thing to carry to job interviews or a faculty / teaching position.

If you don't know her style, maybe a gift certificate to a nicer department store? If she's an academic, she may be looking at going to various interviews where she may have to dress up, and perhaps a GC can help ease the financial burden of shopping.

You could research a nice place for dinner in her city, and get her a gift certificate there.

I know gift certificates can seem impersonal, but money is often tight as a grad student, and having something to spend on luxury items like nice meals or clothes can be a treat. This is especially true if she doesn't have a job lined up (which lots of recent grads don't, or if they do, it's more years of a not-great-paying post-doc.) You could pair it with something small / more personal like a homemade treat or a heartfelt card or something.

Another benefit of a gift certificate is that she doesn't have to lug an item with her if she has to move cities/countries for a job, which most of my PhD friends have had to do soon after their graduation.

Depending on your budget, and whether she drinks ... I was gifted a bottle of very nice champagne, and it was lovely to pop that cork to celebrate after my defense. Obviously if she doesn't like champagne that's kind of a waste. Could you ask her mom if your niece likes sparkling wine?
posted by miss_kitty_fantastico at 1:07 PM on March 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I'll echo a few points others have made (and I'm speaking here as someone who finished his PhD in Psychology in 2015). If you know that your niece drinks, a Very Nice Bottle is a traditional, but excellent, gift. If you know she doesn't, it's a little harder (gift certificate or cash). I bought myself a bottle of Cognac significantly older than I am when I finished (I still have most of it...).

Don't go for anything Psychology related unless you know both what she works on, and know that she needs a classic of the literature or something. None of my relatives would have been remotely able to find me something related to my research that would have been actually useful.
posted by Making You Bored For Science at 1:15 PM on March 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

You could volunteer to have her diploma framed, up to $500 or so at the University bookstore (probably). Saves her from having to do it, and she probably will want it on an office wall.
posted by SemiSalt at 1:31 PM on March 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

When I graduated with my doctorate, my uncle gave me a gift card to Tiffany to the tune of several hundred dollars. I almost never wear jewelry, but it was really lovely to be able to get one beautiful, expensive statement piece that holds sentimental and symbolic value. It's also something I'd never go out and buy for myself, because there's always something less frivolous I can think of to do with that money. They also sell home and office objects that can be personalized.

Obviously, this depends on your budget, but if I were giving a gift of this nature, I'd want to give something the person is very unlikely to buy for themselves.
posted by Everydayville at 2:37 PM on March 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I agree, as a fellow recent PhD grad, nothing related to psychology specifically! If you feel comfortable reaching out to ask about the gift, I would recommend offering to purchase her regalia or have her diploma framed (my parents kindly bought my regalia and I would never have afforded it otherwise, and I still haven't managed to get my diploma framed!). If not, I would suggest some sort of celebratory gift -- such as a bottle of really nice Champagne, gift certificate to a fancy restaurant, etc.
posted by rainbowbrite at 2:42 PM on March 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

Oh also -- if she hasn't gotten a job yet, a gift certificate to somewhere like Nordstrom's or Banana Republic where she can purchase a nice suit would be great. I remember shopping for a suit when I had ZERO money in my grad student budget and it totally sucked.
posted by rainbowbrite at 2:44 PM on March 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

I loved having my diploma framed by my parents when I graduated.
posted by KleenexMakesaVeryGoodHat at 3:46 PM on March 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

I didn't frame my diploma because I still had to move after graduation (the way jobs go after graduation and/or postgrad fellowship-type things, it seems that many people do move around a bit when they're earlier in their careers). and framing it beforehand would've just made it more difficult. Depending on her future plans, it may or may not be reasonable to frame her diploma.
posted by gemutlichkeit at 4:23 PM on March 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

Best answer: PsyD here. Nth-ing money toward the frame. My aunt got me one of those nice engraved name plates for my desk.
posted by Nolechick11 at 6:35 PM on March 22, 2018

Prof, not in psych. N+1-thing diploma framing, or regalia **IF** you know that she has a job as a prof.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 4:32 AM on March 23, 2018

Definitely money. Also, I made this sane stamp https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:2759616 for some psych friends. PM me if you want one.
posted by poe at 9:51 AM on March 24, 2018