secret lunch hour dates and public anonymous gestures
March 13, 2018 6:20 AM   Subscribe

My new(ish) partner likes surprises, especially surprise activities and surprise gestures of affection. I am not the spontaneous type, have limited funds, limited time to do it (something that we could do during a lunch hour would be perfect), and we're trying to keep our relationship secret, but I'd still like to try to do something for them. Help?

I'd like to do something special for my partner. Since they have said a couple times in passing that they really like surprises, I want to try to surprise them with something. Gifts are fine but I am thinking more along the lines of a surprise mini-date/mini-experience.

- limited funds ($50 budget)
- should take a maximum of 2 hours from start to finish. Even better if it could be executed over a lunch hour.
- for [reasons] we aren't advertising our relationship status, so they need to be things that are either:
-- low-key
-- take place behind closed doors
-- be a gesture that can be done publicly "anonymously" (like a flower delivery from a "secret admirer")
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (6 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
picnic! Pack a nice picnic lunch, meet her at a park and have a little al fresco meal. (this isn't super anonymous, but there's a small chance of seeing someone at a public park, they generally go underused). You can even scale this down and grab something and eat in a car, parked in a not-likely-to-be-seen location.
posted by Fig at 6:28 AM on March 13, 2018 [1 favorite]

Noon movie, perhaps on the first day a feature your partner is eagerly anticipating opens. Bonus: popcorn and all the snacks for lunch!!
posted by carmicha at 8:35 AM on March 13, 2018 [1 favorite]

Oh I'm the queen of surprises. Keep in mind that surprise experiences are mostly just dates that you've planned alone. So usually it's taking them to a place without telling them first or changing something/arranging for a special experience at a place they're going to anyway.

*Venmo them a small amount of money for something that you know they want and would make their day better (I sometimes do this when a partner is saying that all they really want is [a cookie/a beer after work/some pho] but they really shouldn't spend the money- this also works well when you can't physically be with them)
*Have a pizza delivered to where they are- this is one of my favorites for out-of-town friends
*If you have a special talent, like drawing, cooking, or making really good mixtapes, making something physical for them can be really nice. You could make them their favorite lunch/dessert and drop it off at their doorstep on a day that you know they would like to hang out but can't.
*When I've had long-term partners who I live with or spend so much time at their house that I might as well live with, I sometimes clean while they're gone or leave flowers/gifts for them to find (this is, of course, limited to people who aren't uncomfortable with this kind of thing)

*Picnics are one of my fave surprise dates! I did one this past weekend on a grassy overlook of the city- I made homemade food and enlisted another person to take the surprise target on a walk to where I was waiting. It depends on where you are, but you could also bring takeout and walk with them to a local landmark to eat it.
*Have a surprise movie night where you buy movie candy and make fancy popcorn and cocktails
*Fly kites or set off a model rocket (you'd have to assemble either in advance to make it <2> *Go bowling
*Play putt putt
*Go to the roller rink
*Go to an arcade
*Have a surprise super romantic dinner- with candles, a set table, their favorite food, and good music on
*Rent bikes together
*Call ahead to a cocktail bar that has a "bartender's choice" option and ask if they could make a cocktail with your person's favorite components, to be given to your person when you arrive- then remember to tip them really well.
*Take a walk around a dog park- great for people who love dogs but don't have one
posted by quiet coyote at 8:49 AM on March 13, 2018 [5 favorites]

Would it be ok to fed-ex them a small package at work? My work friend was sick one day and her new beau fed-exed her a huge cardboard envelope, inside of which was two fisherman's friend cough lozenges wrapped in a napkin, and a post-it note explaining why/who. It was super funny and cute, and also "normal looking" enough not to draw too much attention from coworkers.

Items to consider couriering (or send via intra-office mail if you work in same building):
a chocolate bar
movie tickets for later that night
a mix cd (if their computer will play it)
a pair of cute socks
a comic book, magazine, newspaper article
a little drawing of the two of you
a little cute poem
a coffeeshop gift card
posted by pseudostrabismus at 3:23 PM on March 13, 2018 [3 favorites]

Send surprise texts - maybe a text of flower emojis, or an emoji translation of the lyrics to their favorite song

Email them a limerick about how mean their boss is

Record an mp4 of you singing a song about their pet, to the tune of their favorite TV show's theme

Secretly have their favorite flavor of ice cream in your freezer

Set an alarm on vibrate and get eggs or pancakes and orange juice ready before they wake up

When you guys have a movie or TV couch date, spring out some surprise root beer floats

Learn how to make their favorite fancy cocktail

Draw a picture of them saying something that made you laugh and sneak it into their pocket or backpack

If they tell you they are worried about something, send them a GIF-laden 'chin-up' emails with GIFs of their favorite actors and reality stars

Write haikus about their most beautiful features and sneak them inside the socks in their sock drawer

When you have a really good date, draw a stick figure cartoon of the two of you, from your favorite moment from the date, and put it up at your work. Then take a picture of it up at your work and text it to them.
posted by thelastpolarbear at 5:37 PM on March 13, 2018 [2 favorites]

Lunch hour sex?
At home if you live close enough, or a cheap hotel if there’s one nearby.
posted by Kreiger at 6:31 PM on March 13, 2018 [1 favorite]

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